


The Devil Wears Gucci

by jongnugget



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fashion & Models, Comedy, Hate to Love, Humor, Inspired by The Devil Wears Prada, M/M, Romance, Smut, basically everything that the devil wears prada is, but filthier
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-17 08:40:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 124,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14829032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jongnugget/pseuds/jongnugget
Summary: Kyungsoo considers everything over 50 bucks haute couture. Everyone at his new job seems to disagree.Especially his boss, who might or might not be the embodiment of perfection and Satan all in one.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Gucci event has successfully broken me and I guess it's about time I wrote a fashion!AU. 
> 
> Jongin as a fashion icon, thank you for listening to my TED talk. With that being said, enjoy~
> 
>  
> 
> PSA: it's a slight rip-off of The Devil Wears Prada, but gayer and filthier (or alternatively, inspired by The Devil Wears Prada)
> 
>  
> 
>  Read in  **SPANISH**[here](https://www.wattpad.com/story/184300259-the-devil-wears-gucci-kaisoo-traducci%C3%B3n)  
> ! :)   
>  (translation by SehunTime)
> 
> Read in  **PORTUGUESE**[here](https://www.wattpad.com/story/185437934-o-diabo-veste-gucci)  
> ! :)   
>  (translation by Soodelight)

 

 

Everything was white or transparent.

White walls, white floors, white spotless desks. Glass doors, huge windows.

The place screamed _professional_. It screamed _fancy_ and _successful_.

Kyungsoo tapped a finger against his briefcase in content. His eyes were taking everything in, all that simplicity of the office, yet all that sophistication. His advisor really hadn’t been joking when he’d said it would be a good opportunity if he got the job here.

“Good morning,” he finally snapped himself out of his awe as he stepped towards the information desk. “I have a meeting with Oh Seh-“

“Do Kyungsoo?”

He turned his head to see the person who had spoken. And he barely refrained himself from gasping.

It was a young man holding one of the glass doors open, staring at him with two perfectly shaped eyebrows raised up on his forehead. His face was all sharp angles and his hair was the epitome of perfect. He was wearing a baby blue shirt tucked neatly into black, straight pants that ended just above his ankles. There was a heavy looking silver watch on his wrist and a very polished shine to his shoes.

He was tall, and he was lean and he was sort of radiating so much handsomeness, that Kyungsoo had to almost forcefully refrain himself from staring.

Maybe the condescending look in that man’s eyes as they looked him up and down in an agonizingly slow pace kind of helped him snap out of his daze. He nodded quickly and the man scoffed.

“Great. Human Resources have a weird sense of humor.” The man opened the door wider, while Kyungsoo just shut his mouth quickly. “Follow me.”

Kyungsoo didn’t even have a moment to say or think of anything, because the man – Oh Sehun, he assumed – started walking away into the hallway and Kyungsoo had to hurry after him, pushing the door open and running up to the man, on the line between walking and jogging to keep up with the young man’s pace.

There were more people buzzing in these hallways. Kyungsoo had a few seconds to take a look around and peek into the different offices, only the glass walls dividing them. Everybody looked just about as good as Sehun did.

“I was Jongin’s second assistant for two years, but since the first assistant recently got fired for getting sick before an important trip to Milan, I am first assistant now and my old spot is empty.” The man started talking, not slowing down even for a moment as he kept walking down hallways that looked like a labyrinth to Kyungsoo. Everything was white. Everything looked the same. “We’ve been trying to find someone fitting for the position, but Jongin sent the first two applicants away after only a few days each.”

“Oh, okay,” was all Kyungsoo managed to let out as he yet again picked up his pace to keep up with Sehun, who pulled yet another glass door open. “Who’s Jongin?”

This time, Sehun did halt in the middle of his step for a moment, giving him a once again condescending look. Maybe kind of scandalized. Kyungsoo wasn’t really able to tell with those eyebrows.

“I will pretend you didn’t just ask me that.” The man said, as he turned around and continued walking down the hallway. “Kim Jongin. He is the editor in chief of Vogue Korea. A legend, really.”

Sehun pushed another door – significantly larger than any of the others they’d passed and walked into a large room with two of those large, spotless desks facing one another. There was another room connected to them, with an even larger desk and a chair that somehow looked more like a throne from back here.

“You work an year for him and you can get a job in any magazine or newspaper you can think of. Millions would kill for that job.”

Kyungsoo looked around the room again, fingers clutching the organizer in one hand and the handle of his briefcase in the other one. A job in any magazine or newspaper sounded good.

It sounded great, actually.

“Well, that sounds like a great opportunity. I'd love to give it a go.”

Sehun turned around and finally looked at him. There was a small smirk on his lips, and not the good kind, as he leaned back against one of the white desks.

“Kyungsoo, Vogue is a fashion magazine. An interest and understanding of fashion are crucial and looking at you, I don’t think-“

He was cut off in the middle of his sentence by the loud sound of a device ringing.

He shot a look at Kyungsoo, before pulling out the phone from his pocket.

Kyungsoo watched as the expression on Sehun’s face finally changed to something more recognizable. How it shifted from the sneer he had for him earlier, to his eyebrows flying up in surprise and then slowly his eyes widening in absolute horror.

“Oh dear God.”

“Is everything alright?”

Kyungsoo had barely asked the question, but Sehun almost shoved him out of his way as he rounded the desk and picked up the stationary phone, fingers furiously typing in a number.

There was a mad look in his eyes.

“He’s on his way. Tell _everyone_.”

“Wait, who is?” Kyungsoo asked when Sehun slammed the phone and started gathering some scattered papers on what he assumed was his desk. He shot him a look, before sighing out in obvious irritation.

“Hold that thought. Step back, and don’t touch _anything_. And wait.”

Kyungsoo didn’t like the way this kid was bossing him around and he didn’t like his attitude and he certainly didn’t like the fact that he had been about to insult him not even five minutes after they’d first met, but there was something absolutely terrifying in the way Sehun was gathering papers and documents, in the way he grabbed an iPad and started writing something.

Kyungsoo heard the buzz from the hallway when someone opened the door and entered.

It was another young man – honey colored hair and round glasses in the same color resting on his nose. He wasn’t dressed as officially as Sehun, but the effort and time put in his outfit were obvious.

He walked just past him, as if he were invisible, and dropped a box on Sehun’s desk. The other didn’t even look up.

“He wasn’t supposed to be here until lunch.” The man said in a rather boyish voice.

“His driver texted me. He cancelled the interview.”

The man with the honey colored hair just hummed, as he turned around. His eyes did land on Kyungsoo this time and there was the same condescending look in his eyes as well when he scanned him from head to toe.

“And who’s that?”

“That is another problem I have to deal with.”

Kyungsoo shot a look in Sehun’s direction. He was about to argue, but he seemed like he had finally gathered all the things he had needed from the desk.

The other man just hummed in some sort of agreement and Kyungsoo squinted his eyes at him this time around.

“Stay here and wait.” Sehun commanded again, as the other man opened the door and both of them left the office without another word.

And Kyungsoo? He looked after them towards the hallways. The same hallways Sehun had dragged him through just moments ago were now buzzing with people. Running, hurrying.

He could hear the clanking sound of stilettos against the floors, he could hear the distressed commands. He could see people completely freaking out, as they were moving from cubicle to cubicle, as they were almost painfully bumping into each other in their hurry.

Everyone was going crazy. It was a sight to behold, he decided as he finally turned away and frowned, looking down at his clothes.

Why he had managed to get not one, but two people frowning at him and looking at him as if he were a trash bag in the matter of just a few minutes was beyond him.

He thought it was a good outfit. A professional, presentable one. Jongdae thought so too.

Interviews had never went wrong when he was wearing his khaki slacks and his dark green knit sweater. His brown briefcase matched the colors nicely, he thought it completed the look just fine.

He turned around when he heard the sound of the running stilettos dying out, just in time to see the door being pushed open.

“-fail to understand why it is so hard to do your job properly and find me the type of models we need for this shoot. I am tired of seeing the same angular face with no memorable features and blond hair, I want something different. Tell Suho we are killing the Burberry shoot, it does not match the edition at all. We needed warm, tonal colors instead I received cold, distasteful and ugly. Call Minseok to inform him we’re going to do a new shoot this week. Make sure you confirm my reservation for dinner tonight and that the driver knows where and when to pick Yixing up. I want my dry cleaning delivered here by four. Also, tell Baekhyun I need to see the new designs for the line. Who is that?”

Kyungsoo felt like he was watching something playing out on a screen. The way that man walked inside the room, the way he slid that coat off his shoulders and dropped it in Sehun’s hands while the other man was struggling to write down every order coming out of his mouth. The way he was carrying himself with confidence and elegance, walking forward without even sparing him a glance.

“He's here for the job. I was just about to send him aw-“

“Send him in.”

That was the last thing the man ordered in that deep voice before he walked into the other room, the one with the throne-line chair and the massive desk.

From the way he had barged in, from the way he was tossing his belongings at Sehun and from the way he was speaking with such authority, Kyungsoo assumed that was Jongin. Kim Jongin.

He had but a split second to think about how breathtakingly gorgeous he was, and how he maybe looked a tad bit _too_ young to be editor in chief, before Sehun dropped everything he was holding on his desk and approached him.

He leaned in close, dangerously close, and Kyungsoo caught a whiff of whatever perfume the man was wearing.

“He wants to see you.”

“Oh,” Kyungsoo nodded, fingers clutching the handle of the briefcase. “Great!”

“Put that hideous thing down.” Sehun practically hissed at him as he clawed the briefcase out of his hands.

“But-“

“Go!”

Kyungsoo didn’t like the fact that Sehun actually pushed him towards the other room. Not even ten minutes and he already had a pretty strong worded opinion about that insolent kid.

He had greater worries than that, though, because that god-like man was sitting behind the grand desk, tousled locks of brown hair and deep chocolate colored eyes staring sharply right into his soul.

“Who are you?”

“Uh…” Kyungsoo tried clearing his throat as discreetly as possibly, partially amazed by the way that man looked so effortlessly handsome in his suit and partially shocked that this deity was actually talking to him. “Uh, my name’s Do Kyungsoo. I just graduated Seoul University where I majored in-“

“Why are you here?”

Kyungsoo shifted his weight from one leg to another in the same time the man’s eyes moved from him to the magazine on his desk.

“Well...I want to be a writer. I studied journalism so that someday I could write for big magazines or newspapers. I’ve interned at a lot of places and when it was time to look for an actual job, I was recommended this magazine. I got a call from Human Resources and they told me you have a position free and I believe…I could do a good job as your…assistant?”

“Is that a question?” the editor asked, eyes still lazily fixed on the magazine. He wasn’t even looking at him and that was unnerving.

“Uh, no. No, sir.”

“You want to be a writer, yet you’re here, applying for a job as my assistant. Do you even read Vogue?”

Kyungsoo opened his mouth, but no sound came out of it. He watched as the man slowly looked up from whatever he was reading to look at him. His gaze slowly moving up his feet and torso until it finally stopped on his face. His expression was unreadable.

“No, sir.”

“And you don't know who I am?”

“…no.”

A tiny smirk pulled the lips of Kim Jongin, and Kyungsoo felt his heartbeat picking up for all sorts of reasons. Mostly, he was nervous. There was something absolutely terrifying in this man, as he leaned back in his throne-chair and started tapping his fingers on the white desk, his eyes lazily moving down to give him yet another once over. Kyungsoo wanted to hide.

“Are those pants from Target?”

The smirk was still very much present on those full lips, while Kyungsoo looked down in surprise to his khaki slacks.

“Uh. Costco actually.”

The man behind the desk let out a breath – he sounded amused and he looked kind of dumbfounded. Kyungsoo could feel his palms sweating.

The silence was being stretched for way too long, and he didn’t think he could handle ne more second of those inquiring eyes on himself.

That’s why he brought his hands together in a weak attempt to not flail them around.

“I was editor in chief of my university’s paper. I have even had a few featured articles in some blogs. I learn really fast and I do believe I’m quite smart too, my GPA is-“

“I want a tea.”

Kyungsoo blinked at the interruption.

The man wasn’t even looking at him anymore. He had turned his chair around, magazine in his hands, not even paying attention to him.

“I…what?”

“I want tea. Are you deaf?”

“N-no, sir! I just, does that mean-“ Kyungsoo stopped himself before blurting out anything stupid. Did he just get the job? He blinked quickly. “What kind of tea, sir?”

“Go bore someone else with your stupid questions,” was all Jongin said as he completely turned his chair around.

Kyungsoo was a bundle of confusion and shock, as he dragged himself out of the room. He was still blinking at the back of the massive chair, until he felt a hand hooked under his elbow, dragging him to the side.

He had almost forgotten about Sehun and his snide little comments, until he saw his face again with its sharp eyebrows.

“What happened in there?” the man asked and Kyungsoo let out a breath. He shook his head.

“I-…I don’t know? He kept interrupting me. And then he said he wanted tea.”

“ _Great_ ,” Sehun scoffed, letting go of him. It was Kyungsoo’s turn to hold the other man’s arm. Sehun looked like he would scratch his face if he didn’t let go, so he did.

“Does that mean I got the job?”

“Seems like you did, grandpa pants. Go get that tea.”

Kyungsoo felt elated for about a millisecond, completely ignoring the comment, before pulling on Sehun’s hand again, earning himself yet another glare.

“I asked him what kind of tea but he didn’t reply. How-“

“Listen. First of all, don’t touch me. Second of all, _never_ ask Jongin _anything_.” Sehun breathed out and closed his eyes for a moment, before looking at him again. “Iced green tea with two sugars and a pump of milk. Starbucks is right across the street.”

“Oh…oh, alright! Do I have to go now or…”

“Do you have anything better to do?” Sehun raised his eyebrows, picking up his iPad and giving him one last glance. “Hurry up. When you’re back I’ll show you around.”

Kyungsoo’s mind was in a haze. Not even fifteen minutes in this place and he’d already met three assholes and gotten himself a job. Given the odds, he’d take it. He’d eventually learn how to get around them and spare himself the snide comments.

In time. For now-

“ _Go!_ ”

For now – tea.

* * *

On his very first day, Kyungsoo learned that his boss was a very inconsistent person with very quickly changing preferences. By the time he had returned with the tea, Kim Jongin was already out of the office and Sehun had just shrugged and told him to sit down on the other free desk.

“There are a few rules and you live by them. First of all, you never-“

“Ask questions. Got it.”

Sehun gave him a hard look from across the room.

“First of all, you don’t interrupt me, unless you want to figure everything out by yourself and mess up majorly. Do you?”

“No,” Kyungsoo startled, frowning lightly. He had just attempted to crack a joke. “Sorry.”

“First of all, you never leave the desk if I’m not here.” Sehun continued. “One of us should be here at all times. We cannot afford to miss important calls.”

“Okay…but what if I have to-“

“Never. You _never_ leave the desk. Got it?”

Okay, Kyungsoo mentally noted to himself as he nodded, no peeing.

“Good. Second of all, whatever Jongin wants, Jongin gets. Anything he asks for, you better do it or you’ll find yourself out on the street, unemployed. He asks for a tea at 5am, you go get it. He asks you to be a living, moving hanger, you do it. He asks you to stay two extra hours at work, you do it, no matter what other engagements you might have. Your job becomes your life. Okay?”

Kyungsoo tried to contain the surprised pout. He knew the job could be exhausting, but this-

“You never ask questions. Jongin is a busy person, he has no time to waste on irrelevant details. If there is something specific he needs, he will mention it himself. No questions, no staring, no speaking whatsoever unless asked.”

“Do I have to curtsy too?”

“And no sassing.” Sehun rounded his desk, moving closer. His hands were shoved in his trousers’ pockets and he stared at him for a few seconds, before shaking his head and breathing out. “I don’t even know how or why you got the job, but it’s a fact that it’s yours now. It’s our job to bring order to the chaos that ensues daily in here, alright? You should understand that if you mess up, it’s not only your head on the line, but mine too. So don’t fuck up.”

Kyungsoo only nodded again. Sehun shrugged.

“Welcome to Vogue, I suppose.”

Kyungsoo cracked a little smile finally and nodded again.

He supposed Sehun wasn’t that bad all the time.

Instead, his eyes looked down towards the neat desk, finally taking everything in.

Finally letting the realization hit him.

He got the job. He got the job!

He wasn’t unemployed anymore, he had a job, he wasn’t a complete fucking disappointment.

The smile only spread on his lips, as he promised himself to do well. Just one year. And then any position in the field could be his.

“So, what should I do?”

Sehun rolled his eyes, as he rounded the desk to sit down in his chair again.

“God, you’re one of those enthusiastic workers. There’s nothing to do right now.” He elaborated. “Jongin went to meet the president of the company, and the editors’ meeting isn’t until the afternoon. After it we will probably have some things to do, and until then we just sit here and wait for calls, unless Jongin calls us and requires help with something.”

Kyungsoo nodded, soaking in every word.

“Alright. So, tell me about Jongin.”

Sehun’s annoyed look took over his face, but Kyungsoo really wasn’t sure if that was what the other man really felt. Maybe it really was just the eyebrows. He’d have to eventually figure that out if they were going to work together.

“What do you want to know?”  

“Well…for starters….who _is_ he?”

No. That hadn’t been his annoyed face.

 _This_ was his annoyed face. He furrowed those strong eyebrows and frowned.

“I can’t believe that you actually came here looking for a job when you don’t even know who he-…whatever. He’s editor in chief of the magazine. A fashion icon, a complete legend in our field. There is no person out there who doesn’t know who he is.” Sehun threw a look at him. “No person with an ounce of interest in fashion anyways. There isn’t a brand that hasn’t requested working with him and there isn’t a designer who hasn’t at least once referred to him as their inspiration or strength or whatever you like to call it. He started out as a model, an incredibly successful one might I add. He also studied fashion and journalism. With the proper connections and hard work, he is who he is today.”

Kyungsoo bit on the inside of his cheek, as he nodded. He had to do some homework tonight. Maybe google would help him out.

Given how influential his boss was, at least according to Sehun, where would surely be more information about him. Right?

“Okay, but what is he like as a person? As a boss?”

Sehun hesitated this time before replying. It looked like he was trying to pick the proper words.

“He may come off as harsh, but we have to understand that it’s for the sake of the magazine.”

Well. What a cryptic way of saying he’s actually an asshole.

Kyungsoo nodded.

“Anyways,” Sehun continued, eyes trained on his computer screen. “My lunch break is 25 minutes, and yours is 15. You can go after I return.”

Right, Kyungsoo’s brain supplied, no unmanned desks.

“Alright. Anything else I should learn?”

Sehun looked at him again. Kyungsoo almost frowned at the way the first assistant eyed him with distaste. Well, not him, but his clothes. How his opinion was clearly transparent on his face.

He could see how much he had to say, but in the end Sehun just shook his head and returned his gaze to his computer. Kyungsoo released the breath he was holding in.

He could do this. He could do this. For at least one year, he could do this.

* * *

Maybe the gods weren’t on his side that day. Maybe they weren’t on his side ever.

But it was during Sehun’s lunch break that their boss barged back into the office.

Kyungsoo was reminded again of just how handsome the man was as he stormed inside the room, peeling off a coat off his shoulders. He didn’t even greet him as he threw it on his desk.

Kyungsoo blinked at it quickly, while Kim Jongin raised his hands and started untying the knot of his tie.

Kyungsoo coulnd’t help but stare for a few moments, as that sharp jawline and the bronze skin, at those slightly parted full lips. A former model. No wonder.

No staring, Sehun’s voice rang in his voice and Kyungsoo snapped out of his daze just in the time his boss started talking.

“The board of directors is holding a meeting Friday at five so make sure you clear my schedule. I don’t want to do the Brazil photoshoot anymore, so contact our editors and our partners in Switzerland and get them to work something out.” Jongin was saying in a flat tone, fingers still working on his tie. “Tell Baekhyun I looked over the designs and I approve them for the feature. We will need fifteen blazers from Armani. The director was having seafood for lunch and I started craving lobster, so make sure you call the restaurant and make sure they will have that tonight.”

Kyungsoo felt his breath hitching as he tried to pull on a sticker note, on a paper, on anything and start writing everything down. His boss didn’t slow down even for a moment though.

“Did Minseok call to confirm for next week? Call him and sort it out.  Book an appointment with my dermatologist tomorrow and pull the run-through with one hour.” The finally untied tie Jongin threw on the coat. “Bring me the tie with the Caribbean blue pattern.”

Kyungsoo let out a ragged breath as his boss walked away into his own office and he looked at the sticky note, an absolute failure of him trying to keep track of everything that had been thrown at him.

He looked around in shock. A tie. The most immediate request, his boss wanted a tie. Where the _fuck_ did he keep his ties?

His eyes widened when they stopped on the wardrobe in the corner of the room. He frantically slid the door open, drew one of the drawers open and almost cried in relief when he saw the collection of ties inside.

He grabbed the first thing that looked like a blue pattern and almost bumped into Sehun when he turned around.

“Oh thank God you’re here!” he exclaimed, pulling the first assistant to the side. He saw how the other one was about to complain, but he beat him to it. “Jongin just returned and he-…he said something about about a photoshoot in Brazil and Switzerland. And then there was something about some blazers and a director meeting on Friday.”

“Okay, slow down. What?”

“And he wanted to confirm something and …uh! A lobster!”

Sehun’s mouth was slightly open, but he closed it abruptly and shook his head.

“What is this?” he motioned towards the tie.

“He wanted a tie!”

“OK. Bring that to him, I’ll deal with the rest. _And hang his coat_.”

Kyungsoo felt a sigh of relief bubbling inside his chest, as he maneuvered around Sehun and walked into their boss’ office. He was standing behind the desk, intently staring at some papers sprawled on it. Kyungsoo coulnd’t help but think how incredibly hot that sight was – a young, incredibly good looking man with rolled up sleeves and golden chest peeking from where his shirt was open.

Kyungsoo hesitantly left the box with the tie on the desk and watched his boss reaching out to grab it. He looked up to him with that strikingly sharp look just a moment later, before Kyungsoo could escape.

His expression was still unreadable.

“Are those glasses you’re wearing prescription?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Are they not working properly, then?”

Kyungsoo’s eyebrow twitched in confusion, hand unconsciously raising up to his glasses.

“I don’t think so, sir…”

“Are you perhaps color blind?”

Kyungsoo stilled down, shaking his head.

He flinched when Jongin threw the box back on his desk.

“I asked for Caribbean blue. You brought me Azure.”

Kyungsoo wasn’t even sure azure was an actual world in human language, and it’s not like he found any words within himself to say anything, but his boss stared at him again.

“Bring me the proper one. Did you confirm with Minseok?”

“I-…”

“Minseok.” Jongin repeated the name, sounding impatient. “Get him on the phone.”

“Y-yes.”

Kyungsoo stumbled out of the room backwards. Sheun threw him an inquiring gaze from his desk.

“Minseok.” He said barely audibly as he leaned closer to the other man. “He wants to talk to Minseok. And…what the fuck is Caribbean blue?”

“Is it about a tie?” Sehun asked with a roll of his eyes, while picking up the stationary phone at the same time and pushing in a number. Kyungsoo nodded in exasperation. “Second row, third one form the left. It says Hermes on the side of the box.”

Okay. Second row, third from the left. Hermes. Got it.

Kyungsoo rushed over to the same wardrobe, pulling out the said tie and bringing the other box back. He frowned as he registered just how similar those colors were. Who even cared about that?

He felt agitation and maybe irritation forming insde him as he turned back to unsurely walk into his boss’ office again. Thankfully, this time he was on the phone, his honey dipped voice filling the room.

Kyungsoo just put the box carefully down on the desk and watched his boss shooting one look at it before averting his gaze again.

He didn’t say anything, he didn’t look at him, so Kyungsoo assumed this was the right one.

He almost ran out of the room.

“Okay, what was that you were saying about Brazil and Switzerland?” Sehun asked first thing when he saw him in front of himself and Kyungsoo was on the verge of crying.

Come on, brain. Come on!

“Uh, said he didn’t want a photoshoot in Brazil and to contact editors and partners in Switzerland.”

“Okay.” Sehun nodded, writing something down. “What else?”

“The…lobster. He saw someone eating fish and wanted to eat lobster tonight. And to tell the restaurant to have it.”

“Good. What else?”

“Uh…a dermatologist appointment tomorrow? And to pull something with an hour?”

“A run-through?”

“Yeah!” Kyungsoo exclaimed. “Yeah, that. And there was also something about approving designs for a feature.”

Sehun hummed in some sort of understanding.

“OK. Good. You deal with the restaurant, I’ll try and figure out the rest. _And hang his goddamn coat_.”

“Right.”

Kyungsoo almost tripped in his own feet because of the hurry he was in. He did hang the coat, though, and returned the tie in the only box in the drawer that was missing a tie.

And then he looked towards Sehun again. Sehun, who must have sensed it, because he let out a sigh.

“Schedule’s on the shared server. It’s on the desktop. The name of the restaurant is there, so call them and make sure they have goddamn lobster.”

“Okay.”

So Kyungsoo did. He opened the schedule. Looked up the restaurant.

And almost started bawling. It was a steak house. A fancy fucking restaurant specializing in steak. He was going through the menu, trying to find even a resemblance of any sort of sea food, but there was none.

“Sehun, it’s a steak house.”

“Yeah. Yixing likes steak so whenever he visits from China for the meetings they meet there.” Sehun absentmindedly said while furiously typing something on his keyboard.

“Sehun…Sehun, they don’t serve seafood. They don’t make lobsters.”

The first assistant turned abruptly in his seat to stare right at him, forgetting about whatever he was typing for a moment.

“Don’t you get it? For Kim Jongin, they will.” The man said firmly, with a certain chill in his voice. “Me and you, we make sure they do.”

Kyungsoo bit on his lower lip harshly, when Sehun turned back to his own work.

Fucking great.

And as if it wasn’t bad enough as it already was, Kim Jongin walked out of his office again. Complete with his stupid Caribbean blue tie and a blazer in place fitting his annoying perfect figure.

“Sehun, call the editors to the meeting now, I’m pulling it.”

Kyungsoo froze again when the man looked at him after Sehun reached for the phone, undoubtedly to break the lunch break and dreams of just about everyone.  

“I want a green tea on my desk in twenty minutes and call my driver.”

“A-alright, sir.”

Kyungsoo said, already standing up. Twenty minutes to run down to Starbucks and then figure out how to contact his driver and then miraculously make sure the restaurant had a lobster and someone who could cook it.

“And drop the sir. I’m not some fifty-year-old you should be addressing like that.”

“Yes, sir! Ma’am! Oh God, I mean…I’m sorry. Yes.”

Kyungsoo bowed his head down in apology just to avoid the squint of those deadly eyes. His boss didn’t say anything, but when he looked up he saw him carefully burning holes through every inch of his body, the same distasteful look in his eyes as the one in Sehun’s earlier.

 _No more khaki pants,_ Kyungsoo chanted in his mind. _Burn all the khaki pants_.

“Is that…is that all…uh, Jongin?”

His boss finally looked him in this eyes and Kyungsoo wished for a second he hadn’t. A chill ran through his body as Kim Jongin put on his unreadable expression once again.

“That’s all.”

And then he was out of the room and Kyungsoo had a list of tasks to accomplish and a busy Sehun motioning him to hurry the fuck up.

All he could think about, as he grabbed his coat and urged himself to calm down was one thing.

His boss was a fucking asshole.

 


	2. Chapter 2

“They hated me,” Kyungsoo half-wailed, half-laughed. “All of them were looking at me as if I were…I don’t know, as if I were wearing a trash bag or something.”

“What?” Jongdae’s eyebrow twitched as pulled the drink away from his lips. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I thought my outfit looked fine. You said it looked fine, right?”

“Both of you think you can wear black and brown together and get away with it. Let me guess, you were wearing those hideous khaki pants again, weren’t you?” Chanyeol inquired. Kyungsoo only looked over to Jongdae, who frowned. At the lack of reply, a wince made its way to Chanyeol’s face. “Honey, you should have called me before leaving the house. It’s the first impression that matters the most.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes traced the glass Chanyeol pushed in his direction.

“You’re doomed for life now,” his friend said and Kyungsoo just rolled his eyes, grabbing the glass with the liquid that suddenly looked very appealing.

“What do _you_ know about fashion?”

“Hey!” Chanyeol protested with a grin. “I do know my fashion! I may be too broke to actually afford it, but it’s still a hobby.”

“Whatever,” Kyungsoo tipped over the glass, face scrunching at the sharp burn of the alcohol down his throat. “I mean. What’s so important about fashion anyways? What’s the point in buying clothes for hundreds and hundreds of dollars just so you can get a bunch of snobs to like you? Good looking people will still look good, even if they wear rags.”

“Explains why Jongdae looks like trash no matter what he wears.”

Jongdae chortled on his drink, while Kyungsoo only smirked.

“Look who’s speaking. Your nasty ass has been wearing that hoodie for two weeks straight!”

He appreciated this. After a long, tiring first day at work he sure appreciated his two best friends trying to make him laugh.

Those people, the people sitting with him in a dimly lit bar-restaurant celebrating him successfully getting a job, the people who’d known him for years and the people who loved him no matter what – those were the people that mattered.

Not the ones with the condescending look in their eyes, not the ones that judged others by their looks. Not the people spending most of their time in front of a mirror, not the people whose greatest concern was choosing a matching accessory to their outfit. No.

Those people were the people he was going to work with.

But the people here, Jongdae and Chanyeol, they were friends. They were family.

And as long as he had his family, nothing could bring him down.

* * *

There was a piercing sound cutting through the silence and he was lying still with his face buried in his pillow, contemplating murder.

His hand was blindly searching for his phone on the night stand, just so he could stop the awful noise.

“Hello?” he asked, voice raspy from sleep.

“We will need seven venti lattes and one black tea. Pass by Starbucks before coming to work.”

_Oh_ , Kyungsoo thought in his sleepy state as he heard the annoyingly collected voice in the phone, _that guy_.

“And you need to hurry up! Jongin pulled the run-through, we will need all manpower on deck today. Where _are_ you anyways?!”

“I-...” Kyungsoo threw a look towards the alarm clock. 5:43. _What…_ “At home?”

“…why?”

“Cause it’s not even six yet,” Kyungsoo pushed himself up a little, body and mind refusing to comply so early in the morning. He was pretty sure he heard a scoff from the other side of the line and he could only imagine Sehun’s expression in that moment.

“Well hurry up! It’s not even your second day of work and you’re gonna be late!”

“I-“

“Seven lattes and a black tea!”

Kyungsoo’s mouth was open in preparation to say something, but by that time Sehun had already hung up. He stared blankly at his phone for a few moments, then back towards the clock. 5:44.

He buried his face in the pillow again, drowning out the groan.

* * *

Kyungsoo was pretty sure he was already sweating by the time he pushed the glass door of the office open with his elbow, barely balancing the Starbucks trays in his hands.

“What took you so long?” Sehun asked, standing up from his seat behind the desk to grab one of the trays from Kyungsoo.

“I don’t know? There was a huge line in Starbucks.”

“Then cut it!” Sehun clicked his tongue in disapproval, while Kyungsoo just gaped silently. There was no hello, no smile, no thank you. No sorry for waking you up at an ungodly hour. Just a frown and two perfectly shaped, sharp eyebrows that were somewhat unnerving.

“You know who cuts in line?” he asked instead, placing the other tray on Sehun’s desk because he had no idea who those drinks were for anyways and why he was being grilled because of them now. He hoped whoever it was would choke on them. “Assholes do.”

“Assholes who want to keep their job.” Sehun shot him a deadly look, expertly lifting the other tray and escaping the room.

Kyungsoo groaned out again when he was alone in the room.

It wasn’t even seven, he was functioning on three hours of sleep after last night’s drinks with his friends, and he was pretty sure he forgot to brush his hair before leaving the house in a hurry.

He let out a breath, running his fingers through his fringe to try at make it look presentable, before throwing himself back on his own chair.

The day hadn’t even started yet, but he was already tired.

* * *

They had a few quiet hours in the office, with only him and Sehun sitting there. The first assistant didn’t bother talking to him. He spent the majority of the time on his phone.

And Kyungsoo, surprisingly, didn’t mind. He didn’t know if it was just because he was too tired, or if it was because he kind of didn’t want to listen to Sehun’s bity remarks, but he ended up simply sitting on his chair, clicking through the different files Sehun had told him might be helpful for the future.

Lists of names – designers, editors, models. Lists of collections, lists of items. Lists of manufacturers, lists of investors. By the third one, Kyungsoo was convinced this was a foreign language that he needed to learn.

His lunch break ended up being a quick bite of a croissant amongst a sea of people who were eating greens, a large cup of coffee and a quick toilet break, before he returned to a now buzzing office.

He looked around in confusion at all the people walking in an out, rolling racks with clothes, carrying boxes. He almost choked on his coffee when his eyes landed on the woman in the middle of the room who was nonchalantly removing her shirt while casually chatting with the same man he had seen yesterday – the one with the honey hair and boyish voice.

“Why is there a naked woman in here?” he approached Sehun’s desk, quietly mumbling his question, afraid someone else would hear him. Just as he expected, the first assistant looked up to him with an unamused expression, and his lips pursed into a thin line.

“She’s a model. The run-through is about to start.”

Okay. That was just about as unhelpful as all those lists he had been reading earlier.

“What’s a run-through?” Kyungsoo asked instead, not missing the way Sheun’s eyelids fluttered when he rolled his eyes.

“The editors and designers come together to discuss the last touches on the outfits before the photoshoots or shows. Everything that is discussed here now will eventually make its way into the magazine’s next issue.”

“Oh!” Kyungsoo’s eyebrows shot up as he looked towards the office of their boss, where the majority of the racks were being pushed into.

So it was a meeting in a way. Editors. His fingers tightened around the coffee cup in excitement.

Those were the people behind the articles and behind the decisions made in every magazine. It didn’t matter that it was a fashion magazine. Those were the people whose ideas made it to the printed pages.

Those people in that room were what Kyungsoo wanted to someday be.

“We need to keep notes about everything that is being discussed in that room, alright? Every idea, every suggestion, we need to note it down and later organize it and send it to Jongin.”

“So we have to be in there? With the editors?”

“That’s what I just said.” Sehun said, a cold undertone in his voice. “Usually only the second assistants does this, but since it’s your second day, I’m gonna do it. Grab a notebook and be in there, too, so you can see how it goes. Try keeping up, so that you can do it next week.”

“Oh,” Kyungsoo’s eyes dropped from the people coming in and out of the office towards Sehun. That was…kind of him? He supposed. “Thanks.”

“I’m not doing _you_ a favor, I’m doing _myself_ a favor.”

Kyungsoo made sure he had turned around before he rolled his eyes with a small smile.

Maybe beneath the expensive shirts and the heavy-looking watches, Sehun wasn’t _that_ bad.

* * *

He was standing pressed to the wall, shoulder brushing against Sehun’s.

Out of all the people who had been buzzing in and out of the room earlier, only a handful had stayed for the actual run-through.

The boy with the honey-hair, a man with a very straight suit and very polished shoes, a woman with a very calculating gaze, the model who had been stripped and dressed in about fifteen different outfits so far, and naturally, his boss. Jongin.

Kim Jongin.

Kyungsoo was trying to scribble down everything those people were talking about, bullet points or full sentences when he could. More than once, however, he caught himself staring up in awe.

The way clothes were being pulled out of the racks, the way they looked ugly and loose on the hangers until they found their way to the model’s body, accompanied by different accessories and colorful bags and hats. Terms were being exchanged that Kyugnsoo had never heard of before, accessories had been neatly prepared and arranged in all those boxes he had seen earlier. Sums of money were being discussed, that had Kyungsoo’s jaw dropping while he was scribbling down the zeroes.

“The hype around plaid is long gone,” the boy with the honey hair was saying, while trying to force a blazer out of the woman’s hands.

“Not with the right accessories.”

“What else do we have?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes shot up towards his boss. There was something about Kim Jongin’s gaze ever since they had started trying on all the outfits. Something absolutely mesmerizing in the attention he was pouring to every single detail. Something absolutely fascinating in the sharpness of his look whenever he had an idea.

Ultimately, he was the one deciding everything. That’s what Kyungsoo realized after a few minutes in the room. He was either approving ideas, or declining them. Whenever he suggested something, it would be after a few moments of him intensely staring at the combination of clothes.

Whenever he suggested something, it looked amazing. Even Kyungsoo could tell. Every word that came out of his mouth was to be noted, considered an order for the other editors and designers in the room. They would follow his lead without a question. All of them would look more than pleased with the outcome.

It’s then that he realized – Kim Jongin really knew what he was doing.

“We have prepared some floral designs-“

“No.” he interrupted without even hearing the rest of the sentence. “We did florals in the last edition.”

“What about camo?”

The sharp glance wasn’t even directed towards him, yet Kyungsoo felt a shiver running up his spine.

His pen quickly moved against the paper. _No camo!_

He looked up then, again, towards his boss who was looking at the model with slightly pursed, full lips and a blank expression.

Kyungsoo took those few moments to stare at the young man – tousled, brown hair and deep eyes. His face was all sharp, yet soft angles. He looked unreal. Especially when he pushed the blazer off his shoulders and started rolling up the sleeves of his button up.

Kyungsoo definitely didn’t mean to stare at the veins running down those strong arms, he didn’t mean to stare at the way the shirt pulled against the man’s defined chest when he pushed himself off the desk. He didn’t mean to stare at the way the pants of the navy suit were hugging his legs as he walked towards the model.

Kim Jongin looked way too good and Kyungsoo didn’t know what to do with that information. By the time he realized how shamelessly he was gawking, he could feel his face warming up.

“Give me that plaid blazer again.” The man ordered and Kyungsoo watched as everyone else In the room started moving and complying immediately.

Kim Jongin had personally stood up to choose the outfit. Immersing himself in the job. Kyungsoo found himself staring again.

“Baekhyun, we’re gonna need one of your T-shirts.”

“Black or white?”

“White.” Kyungsoo’s breath almost hitched at the way Kim Jongin ran his hands through his hair. “Where are the matching pants for this?”

“They’re shorts. It’s a set.” The woman said and Kim Jongin nodded.

It was a frenzy. The model was being stripped down to her underwear again, while the woman handed her some plaid shorts and the man with the honey hair, Baekhyun, tossed her a white T-shirt with a brand logo. Kim Jongin was holding the plaid blazer, the unreadable expression on his face somewhat off putting. Kyungsoo didn’t know how people worked with him all day long without feeling as wrecked as he was feeling now. Maybe they did. Maybe they just didn’t let it show.

He watched as his boss put the blazer on the model, before stepping back, his eyes burning holes through the girl.

“Longer.” He ended up saying. “We need a longer blazer for this. And a belt. Where are the belts?”

A box was produced out of nowhere for the man to look through. He ended up pulling out a belt, distractedly putting it around the model’s waist.

His was biting on his lower lip when he stepped back to look at the outfit. Kyungsoo had to work hard to write everything down. He had to work harder not to blush.

“The Balenciaga shoes.” He ended up saying and Kyungsoo almost let out a breath, trying to scribble down the name of what he supposed was a brand. What had he said? Balen-…what? Whatever, Sehun would know.

He watched as the model slipped on possibly the ugliest shoes he had ever laid eyes on, but what he considered to be an utter disaster was met by a quiet gasp from Honey boy. He seemed elated.

“This is it!”

There was the faintest of smirks on Kim Jongin’s face as he stepped back once again. He looked pleased with that combination of disastrously ugly clothes.  But hey, what did Kyungsoo know?

“Make sure you find the proper size of a blazer for this. If we don’t have one, then make one. We’re gonna need fifteen of those at least.” Kim Jongin was saying quietly, fingers playing with the watch on his wrist, while him and Sehun were furiously noting everything down.

“But isn’t this too…casual?” the woman with the calculating gaze asked, eyeing the outfit that had just been put together.

“Not all of us wear clothes from the runway on a daily basis, Krystal.” Baekhyun chided from the side, earning himself a sharp look from the woman.

“It looks like an outfit I’d put on on a lazy day, not an outfit that I’d wear for a magazine photoshoot.”

Kyungsoo could disagree with that statement more. There was nothing casual about this outfit. The shorts looked uncomfortable, the blazer definitely didn’t say ‘lazy’ and those shoes looked like a workout for your feet. Like you’d be lifting weights with every step you took .

“Exactly,” was what Kim Jongin said instead, earning himself a few curious glances. “It’s casual. Yet, it’s elegant and eye-catching. It’s something you can wear every day, but not everyone would expect you to. There is beauty in simplicity.”

Now, with that, Kyungsoo agreed. However, if this was those people’s idea of simplicity, then it was no wonder they were eyeing his clothes like he’d picked them up from the side of a trash container. He barely contained the sigh.

Instead, he caught the pen tightly, as the editors moved on to the next outfit and Kim Jongin returned to lean back on his desk, arms twisted in front of his chest and that strong, sharp jawline disturbing Kyungsoo’s periphery vision.

Damn him and his model body, and damn him and his perfect face.

Damn it all.

* * *

Kyungsoo hated the fact that he felt both excited and nervous every time his boss walked in and out  of the office. He would always carry a ton of work with himself in the form of unrelated orders blurted out one after another.

Kyungsoo had kind of gotten the hang of it in a couple of days. Quickly scribbling keywords and then replying on his memory skills and imagination to figure out exactly what it was that his boss wanted.

He’s had various tasks during the week – from calling designers and tailors to arranging charter flights and renting halls for fashion shows. He had been waking up as early as five am to line up for a questionably high amount of lattes and a tea, and he had been leaving fork at nine sometimes, because apparently if Kim Jongin was staying late, everyone else had to stay late as well.

Kyungsoo was pretty sure half of those rules weren’t in his contract, but for the sake of his rent and financial stability, he had decided not to bring it up.

Other than that, nothing had changed. Sehun was still very much silent most of the time whenever he wasn’t saving his ass or ordering him around. The bity remarks about his clothes had decreased with the passing days, but the disapproving glance in his eyes was still present every time he walked through the glass doors of the office. Kyungsoo was tired of paying attention to it, so he had decided to ignore it.

He had been hired, despite the way he looked in those people’s eyes. That’s all that mattered.

And his boss? Besides all the commands and orders and peculiar requests, he wasn’t even acknowledging him. He’s look over towards him for a couple of seconds, that unreadable expression as unnerving as ever, before he’d retreat to his own office and duties. Kyungsoo supposed it was better like that.

He had heard Kim jongin criticizing things out loud. He had been hearing it on a daily basis in the two weeks he’d been working there. He had heard him criticizing models, designs, lines. He had heard him criticizing articles and outfits and he had heard him criticizing his employees all the goddamn time.

Somehow, even his curses and critique sounded sophisticated.

So yeah, Kyungsoo was pretty content with being ignored for most of the time. He didn’t know what he’d do with himself if that unearthly creature _actually_ looked at him and started saying everything he had on his mind with that collected, warm voice.

It was on a surprisingly loud Wednesday morning two weeks into his journey with the fashion magazine, when he found himself rushing towards the glass doors, coffees dangerously swirling in their cups.

“You are _late_!” Sehun chided as soon as he walked into the office. Kyungsoo had gotten used to no greetings. It wasn’t Sehun’s thing.

He blinked up when Honey boy walked up towards him and grabbed one of the coffees in the cup holders he was holding.

“Iced americano?”

“Two pumps.”

“You’re a treasure,” Baekhyun grinned at him and Kyungsoo found himself smiling a lop-sided smirk, deciding to ignore Sehun’s scoff. At least _someone_ around here was appreciative of all the bullshit he had to go through.

“What’s going on out there anyways?” Kyungsoo asked, setting the cup holders down on his desk.

“The benefit is apparently taking place next week, and Jongin only decided to let us know now.” Sehun replied, albeit reluctantly. “Which is why you’re late and I’m fucked.”

“Okay…” Kyungsoo furrowed his eyebrows, darting a look towards Baekhyun for maybe help with understanding what was going on. The designer, however, was happily sipping on his coffee, not a single care in this world. “What benefit?”

“It’s one of the biggest events in the year.” Sehun replied, eyes fixed on his computer’s screen. “And we have so much stuff to do.”

“Okay. Okay, alright. Just tell me what to do and I’ll-“

He was cut off mid-sentence by the glass doors opening and Jongin storming inside the office. He looked towards Sehun briefly, then his eyes turned towards him. They stayed on him for a moment longer than usual and Kyungsoo felt his heart skipping a beat.

“You. Come with me.”

Kyungsoo almost jumped out of his skin, as Jongin proceeded towards his office.

His eyes darted towards Sehun in his moment of panic, before he followed after his boss. Baekhyun leisurely strutted after him into the oval room with the throne-like chair.

Kyungsoo had about a thousand thoughts on his mind. The most prominent one: Am I getting fired?

He was trying to rake his brain, to find out what he had done wrong, but nothing came to mind. He could feel his palms sweating as he watched Jongin removing his coat and throwing it on the sofa at the corner of the room. Unusual. Very unusual.

He didn’t even have the time to admire the man in front of him in his short-sleeved T-shirt. He was too busy stressing out.

Especially when Jongin descended on his throne behind the desk and shot his eyes up towards him. They were as sharp as ever and Kyugnsoo was just about as mesmerized by the man’s face as always to notice him sliding a piece of paper across the desk.

“Write my name.”

Kyungsoo blinked.

_What?_

“What?”

A hint of annoyance ran through Kim Jongin’s face and Kyungsoo knew to shut up then and there. The usually emotionless mask was broken and that couldn’t be a good thing.

“Do I always have to repeat myself?” his boss slid a pen across the desk as well. “My name. Write it. In cursive.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes shot up to look at Jongin for a moment. His eyes were piercing holes through him and he found himself shivering for all sorts of reasons.

It was a peculiar request, but he did reach out to grab the pen and pull the sheet of paper closer. His hands were still shaking a little from earlier. He breathed in deeply to calm himself down.

“Today, please.”

Kyungsoo bit on his lower lip, refusing to look up to his boss again. He could hear the irritation in his voice. Instead, he brought down the tip of the pen to the paper and tried his best to write the name as well as he could.

Slowly, trying to make the letters look good one next to another. K. I. M. Then J. O. N. G, I and N.

He didn’t even have the time to check how it had turned out, because the editor snatched the paper from under his hands.

Kyungsoo looked up in confusion to see his boss inspecting the two words with his sharp eyes. He ended up nodding and Kyungsoo was lost.

“Good. It’s neat.” His boss said, his velvety voice sounding husky and warm again. He looked up to him then, his eyes demanding and strict. “We need the invitations for the benefit written and sent out by Friday. Sehun will give you the list of guests.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes shot up towards Baekhyun when he heard the man making some sound. There was a wince on his face and maybe a pitiful look in his eyes when he looked at him. He hurried to hide that expression of his with the coffee cup, while Kyungsoo just looked towards his boss again. Jongin was staring at him.

“You wanted to write, didn’t you? Then write.”

Kyungsoo opened his mouth to say something. Maybe ask something, before remembering he wasn’t really allowed to do that. Besides, Jongin had already discarded the paper with his name written on it towards the bin under his desk and was already pulling the first document from a pile that was awaiting him, while also calling Baekhyun closer to discuss some designs.

Kyungsoo took that as his cue to escape the room.

He was still pretty much confused as he halted in front of Sehun’s desk. It took the other assistant a few seconds to finish writing whatever it was that he was writing, before he turned towards him with that same bitchy expression. Kyungsoo _really_ needed to eventually figure out whether he was really annoying him to death or if that was just the man’s face.

“What now?”

Kyungsoo opened his mouth once, then closed it. His eyebrows were knitting together on his forehead, as he shook his head.

“Uh, I need a list of guests for that benefit?” Kyungsoo said. Sehun squinted his eyes at him.

“Why?”

“I need to write invitations, I think?”

“Oh boy…”

Kyungsoo definitely didn’t like that _Oh boy_.

He definitely didn’t like the compassionate look in Sehun’s eyes. It was so damn off.

He felt panic rising within him again.

“What?”

Sehun stared at him for a couple seconds, before shaking his head and standing up. He pulled a folder out of his drawer and followed Kyungsoo back to his desk. He pulled out a piece of paper.

It was an invitation. A little fancy looking carton with a handwritten invitation. A name of a person, then the actual invitation, and then, in the end – Kim Jongin.

Kyungsoo twisted it around, before looking up to Sehun.

“The invitations all need to look like that.” The first assistant said in a collected voice. “I’d advise you to start with the circled names first and then write the rest of them. The names in circles are important people, we need their invitations to look pretty.”

“Okay?” Kyungsoo asked, eyes shooting down to the invitation again. It looked simple enough. Sure he’d have to pay a little attention to some curves and letters, but it looked simple enough. “The list?”

Sehun dropped the folder on his desk and Kyungsoo looked up. Sehun just raised an eyebrow.

Kyungsoo opened it and his eyes scanned the page.

Names. A name on each row, filling the entire page. Some were circled.

He let out a breath as he ran his fingers through the stack of pages. They all looked the same way. About 25 rows a page, about 20 pages.

He looked up to Sehun, arms suddenly feeling weightless.

_Fuck._

“Sehun, there must be more than 500 names in here…”

“674. Just to be exact.”

“Are you kidding me right now?” Kyungsoo asked in hushed tones, eyes going through the pages with names again. “I have to write handwritten invitations for all these people by Friday?! I-…you’ll help me, right?”

Sehun scoffed.

“There had to be _some_ perks to having a chicken handwriting.” The first assistant said and Kyungsoo felt his shoulders dropping. “I’m going to be busy with about…everything else. If I were you, I’d start. You don’t really have much time. The cards are in the lowest drawer of your desk.”

Kyungsoo breathed out when Sehun turned around to return to his work. He threw a look towards the stack of papers with names, then towards the lowest drawer of his desk. He pulled out the first card and breathed in deeply.

He brought the pen down to the carton.

_To: Zhang Yixing_

The words flowed and the pen was sliding across the surface of the paper swiftly. He ended with his boss’ name, signing instead of him, before setting the pen down and looking at the simplicity of the card.

It looked good. The black ink against the white card. It looked presentable. It looked elegant.

He put it to the side, before reaching out to cross the first circled name out of the list.

One down. 673 more to go.

* * *

“What’s up with your hand anyways?”

Kyungsoo snapped out of his daze, realizing that he had been clenching and unclenching his fingers into a fist continuously, moving his wrist in slow circles, trying to get rid of the burn.

He frowned as he reached out with his left hand to grab the liquor on the table between them. Jongdae’s eyes were inquiring and Chanyeol’s were curious.

For two days straight he had been writing those invitations. When his boss wasn’t burying him and Sehun with other things to do, anyways. He had even brought those stupid invitations home, because if he hadn’t he didn’t see how he would have been done by today.

Had he known, he would have faked his handwriting. He wouldn’t have tried so hard to write his stupid boss’ name so prettily on that deceiving piece of paper in his office.

Had he known, he could have spared himself the ache and stiffness in his entire arm.

He brought the glass to his lips and ended up frowning again at the bitter taste of the alcohol.

“I don’t wanna fucking talk about it.”


	3. Chapter 3

03

 

 

There was no ‘thank you’.

No ‘good job’ or ‘you did well’.

The fact that he had finished his task perfectly while also juggling his boss’ chaotic commands throughout the entire days had gone completely unacknowledged.

Kyungsoo could only heave a sigh before he dived into another pile of work that had to be finished before the benefit.

Speaking of the benefit, he had never seen people working that hard – not even the week before exams in college and _that_ had been hectic. There were designers calling every five minutes, fashion critics and magazines confirming appointments and attendance, reporters calling for passes. Kyungsoo’s head was spinning because it was only him and Sehun dealing with all this crap.

He hated getting out of bed in the morning because he knew what would be waiting for him at work. Not even the fact that he’d get a glimpse of Jongin seemed to motivate him. The man was a vision, indeed, but he was also an asshole and whatever fantasies Kyungsoo might have had in the beginning, the main emotion he felt whenever he saw his boss these days was dread and also a burst of sourness in his mouth.

He didn’t like him. Not after that whole invitations fiasco.

He did not like him one bit.

However, with the benefit just around the corner, Kyungsoo had another shit ton of stuff to worry about, like making sure there were only red roses among the other flowers in the flower arrangements and that the cake had strawberry decorations and strawberry decorations only. His boss and his stupid fucking pretenses.

“-but what about the chocolate-“

“No, sir. I am extremely sorry for the inconvenience, but Mr. Kim seems to have changed his mind.”

“Do you realize what that means? We have less than 24 hours to-“

“I know, sir. I really am incredibly sorry for letting you know on such a short notice.” Kyungsoo felt bad. He felt bad for anyone who ever had worked for Kim Jongin and for anyone who ever would. “It can be done, though, right?”

“It can be done, but it will significantly raise the price!”

“Money is not a problem.” Kyungsoo said confidently. One thing he’d learned. Those fashion people had money. Way too much money to spend on stupid things. Like cakes larger than half of his living room and hiring museums for their stupid balls. Pretentious.

“Alright.” The man from the other side of the line sounded mildly annoyed and Kyungsoo completely understood how he felt. “So strawberries? Anything else?”

“No. Just strawberries. Whatever design you find fitting, just use strawberries. Lots of them.”

He sincerely hoped Jongin would choke on one of them.

“Good. Delivery time stays the same, right?”

“Yes.” Kyungsoo breathed out just when the door for the office opened and Sehun walked in, balancing about five boxes between his hands and a tray with coffees in the other. Kyungsoo winced at the way his co-worker was wobbling.

“Alright. We’ll have it done by then.”

“Great. See you tomorrow. And again, thank you!”

Kyungsoo was pretty sure he heard a scoff and then the line cut off. He couldn’t really blame the man. Instead, he breathed out a sigh and leaned down to check one thing off his endless list of tasks.

He was about to pick up the folders with some sketches he was supposed to deliver to the designers, when Sehun’s voice stopped him.

“Do you have a suit?”

“Hm?” Kyungsoo looked at the man who had finally dropped all those stuff on his desk. His hair was still perfectly styled and he still looked very much like a model, despite running around all day long. Kyungsoo somehow admired that. “Why?”

“The benefit.” Sehun curtly replied. “It requires formal wear.”

“Oh. What? I have to go?” At Sehun’s sharp glare, Kyungsoo only cleared his throat. “I mean, I get to go?”

“ _Of course_ you’ll go. Jongin needs us there.”

Well there went Kyungsoo’s plans for a quiet evening.

“Uh…I have one. From my brother’s wedding some years ago. I suppose it should still fit.”

Sehun looked positively distressed, but not really surprised as he picked up the phone on his desk. He punched in a number, eyes still fixed on Kyungsoo.

“Baekhyun?...Yeah, just as I thought. Can you come over to the office for a minute?....Good.”

As quickly as he’d picked up the phone, he had shut it with a loud bang resounding in the empty office.

Kyungsoo opened his mouth and pointed to the folder with the designs, but Sehun raised a hand to shut him up before he even started, reaching out to grab the folder.

“I’ll take care of that.”

“But-“

“I said, I’ll take care of that.” Sehun closed his eyes for a moment, breathing out. He rand a hand through his perfect hair, then fixed his gaze on Kyungsoo again. “You’re gonna go with Baekhyun and hopefully, he’ll be able to find something that will fit you.”

“I-…what?!”

“A suit.” Sehun said absentmindedly, sliding behind his desk. “He’s gonna find you a suit.”

“But I have a-“

“A _proper_ suit.”

Kyungsoo felt the breath catching in his throat. He had been kind of getting used to the disapproving glances but this was a whole new level of rudeness. Wasn’t it?

He was about to complain, but the office door opened again and Jongin barged in like the storm that he was and Kyungsoo had to step back quickly to avoid being trampled on. He collided with his desk, letting out a quiet ‘oof’ as Jongin disappeared in his office, phone tightly pressed to his ear. Bastard.

Only when he peeled himself off the desk did he notice another man had followed after him – tinier, with his golden hair and golden glasses, with an oversized T-shirt and a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Baekhyun.” Sehun said as a greeting, not looking up from his laptop. “Fix this.”

“On it!”

Kyungsoo felt Baekhyun’s surprisingly firm grasp as the man grabbed him by the hand and pulled him after himself. He was way too enthusiastic for someone who had possibly not slept tonight because of the load of work.

“Hey!” Kyungsoo tried once, not quite enjoying being dragged like that down the hallways of the building. “Hey, let go! I told Sehun already, I _have_ a suit!”

“What suit?”

“I don’t know? Black?”

“What designer? What year?”

Kyungsoo let out a breath, finally appreciating Baekhyun’s fingers letting go of his forearm. Instead, he blinked at the man hooking his entire arm around his elbow, walking down the hallways pressed next to him like they were back in middle school or something.

“I don’t know? It’s not a designer suit. And it’s from like 2012. I don’t know.”

“My friend, you are in a _dire_ need of a new one.”

“Yeah, well, then I can go buy one myself.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Where will you find a tailor who will do an entire suit in just one day?”

“Like, the convenience store.”

Baekhyun seemed beyond offended as he threw him a side glance.

“ _Oh_ _come on_ , Kyungsoo. You’re about to attend one of the biggest fashion events of the year and you want to show up with an old suit that would probably not even fit your properly anymore? In front of all the reporters and cameras, in front of all those important people who will come?”

Kyungsoo was about to reply, to say he really didn’t care. That he really didn’t care about reporters or cameras or any important people. If all of them were like Sehun and Jongin, judging him for the way he looked, then he truly didn’t care. And Baekhyun?

Baekhyun was cool. He judged him, alright. But even so, he was kind and funny and nice. However, Kyungsoo doubted there were lots of people like him out there in this industry.

“ _And_ you’re working in a fashion magazine, you know. Picking up _some_ interest in fashion along the way wouldn’t be a bad idea.” The man with the golden hair said, before shrugging. “But what do I know? I’m just a designer and an editor.”

It was Kyungsoo’s turn to throw a side glance at the other man who was once again sporting one of his bright smiles, as he kept dragging him forward.

* * *

Despite his whining and despite his complains, and despite his friends being complete assholes about it before actually reassuring him that he looked amazing in that new, flashy suit, Kyungsoo found it completely satisfying to see a surprised twitch of Sehun’s strong eyebrows when he saw him. A gentle expression kind of set on his face for a few seconds.

So Sehun _did_ know how to smile. Duly noted.

“You look good,” Sehun said after his face morphed back into a Moai statue and shuffled on the seat, making space for Kyungsoo to sit in the back of the car with him. “Did you style your hair yourself?”

Kyungsoo’s hand unconsciously moved up to his hair, now all pushed back and revealing his entire face.

“Uh, no. My friend helped me.”

Chanyeol had been way too enthusiastic, if you asked him. Kyungsoo had almost felt like he was a doll being experimented on when Chanyeol whipped out an impressive collection of hair products he owned. Hell, he had thought Chanyeol didn’t even own a comb.

“Well it looks good.”

Kyungsoo looked down to hide his awkward smile. Two compliments in the span of just one minute. And coming from Oh Sehun? That was truly something.

“You too. You look great.” he felt the need to compliment him back. And it’s not like it wasn’t true. Sehun always looked good.

“I know.”

Kyungsoo barely suppressed the urge to roll his eyes, but instead found himself smiling again. Was it weird that Sehun’s confidence was that endearing?

“So,” Sehun spoke up and Kyungsoo recognized his business voice. “Jongin’s going to arrive later. until then we have to make sure everything is simply perfect, alright? The cake, the decorations, the guest lists, the table arrangements. We need to make sure the program and orchestra are in their places and we need to make sure-”

“Sehun? Got it. We need to take care of everything.” Kyungsoo breathed out. “It’s not like we’ve been doing anything else for the past week.”

“Good. Then you’ll know how to make yourself useful.”

Kyungsoo let out a breath and shook his head. Unbelievable. He couldn’t believe he was getting used to this.

“Now listen to me very carefully. This event will be packed with really important people so it is absolutely imperative that everything flows smoothly. Any problems, any questions that might arise at your side, don’t bother Jongin with them. He has a lot of things to do tonight. Just find me and we’ll figure out a way to deal with it, alright?”

Kyungsoo nodded. No bothering Jongin, just sticking by his side and listening to his commands. Nothing new.

“What important people?”

“All kinds of important people,” Sehun hummed. “Editors, directors. Designers, models, writers, business-”

“Writers? What writers?”

Sehun looked at him again, one of his eyebrows raised slightly as he let out a scoff with the tiniest of smiles.

“You’re such a nerd.”

Kyungsoo found himself looking out of the window, a small smile pulling his lips as he took in the sight of the streets in the inner city, the beauty of the older buildings as they approached the museum.

Somehow, he felt excited. Excited, and handsome, and finally worthy for all those people out there.

It was exciting. But it was also unnerving.

He couldn’t wait.

* * *

With the amount of things he had to do, Kyungsoo couldn’t even pay attention to the constant flashes of cameras and questions being thrown from every direction. Why they were taking pictures of _him_ he didn’t know. Why they were asking _him_ questions was beyond him.

What he did pay attention to, though, was Jongin.

Ever since the moment he had arrived, in the middle of the benefit while the orchestra was playing and all those models, designers, businessmen, editors, writers, singers and people of the elite were chatting and socializing, Kyungsoo hadn’t been able to pay attention to anything else.

Because the Kim Jongin that had arrived at the benefit didn’t storm in like he did in his office. He didn’t just jump straight to his work and he didn’t only grace people with one word replies and sharp glares.

The Kim Jongin that had arrived tonight was something absolutely different.

He was walking slowly and he was talking to people and Kyungsoo could hear his warm voice from where he was trailing behind him with Sehun.

And he was smiling.

And boy, was Kim Jongin’s smile dazzling.

Kyungsoo didn’t even pay attention to what he was wearing (something undoubtedly overpriced), didn’t pay attention to his words. He was lost in that smile and the way those beautiful almond shaped eyes were forming into crescents whenever he laughed with his guests.

And as he was walking around after him all day long, as he saw the way people were greeting him warmly and excitedly, he realized one thing.

This was Kim Jongin’s job.

This right here.

Not the brooding hours in the office, not the tons of paperwork, not the outfits he had to put together for the magazine, nor reviewing the articles for the next issue.

His job was so much more. His job were the people.

And while Kyungsoo still didn’t know much about the world of fashion, he knew that Kim Jongin was definitely doing something absolutely right.

From his charming smile, his genuine laughter and his warmness tonight, to the way he called out every guest’s name, to the way he shook their hand and talked to them – this Kim Jongin was different from anything Kyungsoo had seen so far from his boss.

This Kim Jongin was someone he actually _liked_.  

It was astonishing just how different a person could be, he thought to himself, as they continued walking around.

And it went on for hours. To the point him and Sehun had to take turns walking around with Jongin, so the other could take a little break, to sit down, have a sip of wine, stretch his legs. Jongin didn’t get a break.

So even from afar, from the table he was sitting at, he curiously glanced in the direction of his boss. Looking absolutely electrifying with his styled hair and his gorgeous smile, with his beautiful costume and perfect posture. He could stare at him for hours and just wonder.

“Having fun?”

Kyungsoo’s eyebrows shot up before he could even turn his head around. Baekhyun was grinning at him and he looked just as gorgeous as about anyone else in this event. His hair was styled perfectly and there was a lady by his side, arm hooked under Baekhyun’s elbow.

“Get up, let me see!” Baekhyun urged, pulling Kyungsoo up with his empty hand. The way he eyed him up and down without any sign of shame, kind of caused Kyungsoo to feel heat rising in his cheeks. Baekhyun grinned. “You look absolutely stunning, honey. So I _am_ a genius, after all.”

The woman on his side chuckled lightly, and Kyungsoo couldn’t help the small lopsided smirk either. Baekhyun maybe really was a genius. How he managed to find something that so perfectly suited Kyungsoo, he didn’t know. But he knew there was something absolutely right about it if people were nodding their heads in his direction and taking pictures of him.

“So,” Kyungsoo cleared his throat, picking up the champagne glass from the table, eyes moving to the woman. “I think that’s one guest I still haven’t met yet. Your date perhaps?”

Kyungsoo didn’t know whose laughter was louder – Baekhyun’s or the woman’s. They both looked genuinely entertained by his question.

“A date? I do lack some imperative attributes to be Baekhyun’s date for tonight. While he might be the only man I see myself spending the rest of my life with, unfortunately, except for a really drunk night in college, he bats for the other team.”

Kyungsoo almost choked on the champagne he was drinking, while Baekhyun only laughed and leaned in to press a kiss to the woman’s cheek.

“Mm, tragic. It wasn’t in college, it was during the internship in L’Officiel, and it was absolutely lovely.” Baekhyun suddenly turned to him. “Kyungsoo, meet the only woman in my life, Wendy. Wendy, meet the newest victim of Jongin, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo almost choked on his champagne again.

“Wendy? As in….Son Wendy?”

“The one and only.”

“Oh my-…Oh my _God_!” Kyungsoo let out before he could even stop himself. “I am such a huge fan of your writing! Like, I am so-…oh God. It’s really, _really_ nice to meet you.”

He felt his heart doing backflips in his chest as he shook the hand of the lady who was giving him also the softest of all smiles.

“Really?” she asked. “There aren’t lots of people around here who actually read anything but fashion articles. I blame him.”

“Don’t blame the player honey,” Baekhyun shrugged. “I just create art.”

“You create headaches.”

_Oh my God._

Kyungsoo was so in love. Meeting one of the writers he looked up to _and_ finding out she also had a great personality. He was blessed.

“So you’re Jongin’s new assistant, huh? The kid everyone’s been talking about?”

“Uh, I suppose?”

“Well what is a guy like you doing working for a fashion magazine, then?”

A good question, Kyungsoo’s mind pulled a blank. He needed the references. He needed this so he could someday be where Wendy Son was.

“I, uh…I wanted to be a writer. I studied journalism.”

“Oh? You should totally send me some of your stuff!”

“What, really?”

“Absolutely! Let me just-...damn it! I don’t have my business card, but Baekhyun can give you my email on Monday!”

“Can you?” Kyungsoo asked, not event trying to hide the excitement.

“Hey! No work talk. We’re at a party.”

“A party? I’m literally five seconds away from falling asleep because of the music they’re playing.”

Kyungsoo was attentively listening to their bickering, until he felt a buzz in his pocket.

He fished out his phone to see two words blinking on the screen.

 

**From: Sehun**

     Stage!!! Now!!!!!!!!!!

 

“ _Oh, shit_.” He let out a breath quietly. “I’m really so incredibly sorry, but I’m afraid I have to run.”

“Jongin?” Baekhyun asked and Kyungsoo breathed out a sigh.

“Jongin.”

He watched Wendy and Baekhyun looking at each other, before they smiled in understanding. She shrugged.

“Jongin.”

“It really was so nice meeting you!” Kyungsoo repeated once again, already moving backwards. “I really, really-“

Wendy dismissed his rambling with a kind smile.

“I’ll be waiting for you to send me your stuff and I’ll see you soon. Enjoy the rest of tonight, Kyungsoo!”

Another awkward smile and bow, another buzz in his pocket and he was rushing away.

He suddenly _loved_ his job.

* * *

The car was awfully quiet. There was almost no traffic at this hour, no sounds from other cars.

Just Kyungsoo’s heart beating madly in his ears as he was sitting in the back of the limousine just in front of Jongin.

Jongin was also quiet. He had walked into the car after the event and he had gotten rid of his blazer. Hands had been quick to untie the knot of his tie and leave it hanging around his neck while giving Kyungsoo a very persistant look from head to toe.

Kyungsoo almost had to pinch himself to stop himself from staring at the absolute beauty that the man in front of him was.

Jongin’s smile was gone now, it was replaced by a tired expression, by hooded eyes and…oh God? Was he pouting? Kyungsoo’s heart started doing acrobatic moves in his chest yet again.

Jongin looked like a baby bear at this moment. With his sleepy gaze and with his slouched figure and soft lips, he looked, for all the world, _cute_.

“You did well tonight. You both did.”

Kyungsoo looked up in the same time Sehun did. Hearing this in that low, honey-like voice was something new. Judging by the surprised curve of Sehun’s eyebrows, he didn’t hear that often either.

He didn’t know what it was. Maybe the sleep getting to Jongin’s head. Maybe the high of such a marvelous event. Maybe he was tipsy from the drinks he’d had earlier, but this was new.

No complaints. No demands.

Compliments.

Sehun looked like he was on the verge of crying when Kyungsoo threw a glance in his direction. Maybe he was too.

He just looked out of the window, trying to hide his face and the small smile that bloomed on his lips despite all the exhaustion weighing on his body.

So maybe, just maybe, Kim Jongin wasn’t as bad as he had thought.

* * *

Kyungsoo had thought that after the benefit they wouldn’t have as much work as they did before it while planning.

And boy, had he been wrong.

Because apparently the benefit had meant socializing, and socializing had meant new contacts. And new contacts had meant new partnerships and offers and deals, and what had greeted him on Monday morning had been a pile of documents and a tired sigh from an already working Sehun as a greeting.

It wasn’t until lunchtime that he finally leaned back in his chair, done with most of the piles of letters and documents. The thought of the croissant and coffee from the company’s café suddenly seemed like the most appealing thing.

However, the door of the office pushed open then and in walked Jongin in all his glory. Kyungsoo immediately straightened up in his seat when his boss started removing his coat.

“I hate the cover pictures I was shown. Reschedule a new photoshoot and get the new prints to me by Friday.”

Kyungsoo almost breathed out in disappointment.

He didn’t know why he had been expecting to see that dazzling smile again. Why he had been expecting some sort of change in Jongin’s behavior after the benefit. Maybe it was just his delusional self trying to think of unlikely scenarios.

Jongin, however, was no different from any other day before, with his stoic expression and his artfully messed up hair and a black shirt clinging rudely to his chest as he removed the coat and threw it on Kyungsoo’s desk.

It was his assigned task. Put the coat away in the large closet while Sehun furiously takes notes. It was the hierarchy, he supposed.

“Cancel my schedule with-…whatever that magazine was that I had an interview for, I don’t see the need to do that anymore. Call Suho and tell him we’re killing the vegan lifestyle section in the next issue and then come to my office, I need your help with some documents.”

“Alright.” Sehun said, disappearing behind his desk. Kyungsoo almost jumped up when he felt Jongin’s eyes moving towards him, while the man was fixing the watch on his wrist.

“Get my dry cleaning, I need that suit immediately. And then bring me an iced green tea latte.”

Jongin had disappeared inside his office, as Kyungsoo mentally repeated to himself once what he had to do, before Sehun was furiously mouthing at him to ‘fucking hurry the fuck up’.

Kyungsoo took the hint, as he grabbed his own jacket.

He wistfully sighed out at the thought of missing yet another lunch.

* * *

The clothes felt heavy on his shoulder as he was barely keeping his fingers hooked around the clothing hangers. What suit Jongin had been referring to earlier he didn’t know, because there were about five different suits on his shoulder right now.

The ice in the latte was numbing his hand, as he hurried forward towards the office.

Sehun looked up from his laptop when he saw him entering and jumped up to take the clothes from his hands. Sehun was a good kid.  Sometimes.

Kyungsoo dropped the hangers in Sehun’s hand, before turning around to bring the latte to Jongin.

Or at least, turning around with the intention of bringing it.

Because the moment he turned around in his hurry, his hand ended up hitting something – someone – and he ended up bumping into something – someone – and before he knew it there were ice cubes flying around and a suspiciously cold feeling on his chest.

His eyes widened comically wide when he realized he had spilled the latte.

They opened even wider when he realized he had spilled the latte on Jongin.

_Fuck my life._

It felt like time slowed down for the next few moments. He felt the icy drink trickling down the skin of his hands and soaking into his T-shirt as he stepped back.

It felt like it slowed down as his eyes found Jongin’s face. There was surprise written on the other man’s features, eyebrows raised up high as he hissed at the undoubtedly unexpected coldness soaking into his own black shirt. Kyungsoo internally cursed again, wondering just how much he’d have to pay for that. It was probably way above his paycheck.

And then red started blinking in his brain.

He spilled a latte on Jongin.

He spilled. A latte. On Jongin.

He shouldn’t have been worrying about paying for his shirt. He should have been worrying about getting that paycheck in the first place.

“Oh my God.” Was the first eloquent thought that came to mind, as reality resumed its pace and he saw Jongin’s jaw setting and him raising his hands to shake the milk droplets off his fingers, before picking at his shirt and looking down at the soaking liquid along with the traces of matcha powder and whipped cream.

And then he looked up and kyungsoo saw the look in his eyes.

Yep. He wasn’t only going to get fired.

He was going to die.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t think you would be behind me, I thought you were-“

“You thought?” Jongin interrupted, voice scarily low as he hissed through his teeth and dropped the shirt that stuck to his chest again. “You _thought_? If you had thought for even a moment, if there had been half a thought in your brain, you would have known how to hold on to a cup without dropping it.”

Jongin was blaming this on him. Sehun’s burning glare was warning him not to speak up. Kyungsoo’s breath caught in his throat.

He startled when Jongin clicked his tongue.

“What are you standing like this for?” his voice sounded harsh, nothing like the beautiful, melodic honey-dipped voice from the benefit and Kyungsoo shivered at the icy tone. “Make yourself useful for fucking once and clean this up. And get out of my face, I don’t want to see you again today.”

Kyungsoo let out a breath, as Jongin gave him one last burning glare, before walking away.

“Sehun, bring me a clean shirt!”

“Yes!”

“ _Now!_ ”

Kyungsoo was still standing in his place as Sehun ran past him towards the closet in the corner. The icy liquid was still trickling down his skin, soaking deeper and deeper into his clothes. He felt his fingers tightening against the plastic cup, as he felt the breath leaving his lips at once.

He had been an idiot to delude himself. Jongin at the benefit was not someone he knew, it wasn’t someone who could be friends with him.

He wasn’t one of Jongin’s associates, he wasn’t one of his designers, models, editors or friends.

He was his assistant. His second assistant. He didn’t know what he had been expecting.

“Hurry up!” Sehun hissed as he passed by him again, holding three different shirts for Jongin to probably choose from. “Clean this up!”

“Am I fired?”

“Not yet, but if you don’t clean this up you might as well see yourself out.”

It took three tissues and a lot of pain in his chest to get rid of the few drops that had missed him and Jongin and had ended up landing on the white tiles of the office.

And then there was just the damn stickiness he felt on his skin and the absolute urge to cry.

Sehun escaped Jongin’s office then, too, carrying the black shirt in one hand and another two on their hangers in the other.

He gave him an almost pitiful look.

“Listen,” the first assistant said, voice hushed as he approached him. “Go home. I’ll text you later when he calms down, OK?”

“Yeah…Yeah, sure.” Kyungsoo said, eyes wandering around to stop the stupid tears from escaping his eyes.

He didn’t know why he felt like crying.

Maybe they were angry tears. Yes. He was angry. He was fucking angry.

Angry that assholes like Jongin could get away with anything because they had the money and the power. Because they could just boss people around, blame them for their own mistakes. Because they could toy with others.

He turned on his heel, grabbed his bag and almost ran out of the office and away from all that.

Instead, he walked down the hallway, keeping his head low.

There was only one person in this whole building, only one single person, who would possibly understand him or at least try to.

Baekhyun looked up from under his fringe only when Kyungsoo stopped beside his table.

He saw the way his face twisted – the bright smile he had been ready to greet him with evaporating slowly and eyebrows slowly furrowing instead, as he removed his glasses and stood up.

“What _happened_ to you?!”

Kyungsoo only ended up biting on his lower lip harshly. All that anger and hurt only skyrocketing at the concerned question of an almost friend.

“Oh God, are you crying?...I’d hug you but you’re covered in something and I’m not touching that.”

Kyungsoo ended up hanging his head low, trying to hide his face.

He didn’t know what he had been thinking, coming to Baekhyun of all people. Baekhyun was Jongin’s friend. He was one of his most important editors and designers.

Kyungsoo felt like a complete idiot.

“Hey,” Baekhyun said again, and despite what he’d said just a moment ago, he felt two hands on his shoulders. “What happened?”

Pathetic. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.

Reacting like this to another one of his stupid boss’ outbursts.

He felt so pathetic, barely gathering the strength in his voice to speak.

“He hates me.”

“Jongin?” Baekhyun asked quietly and Kyungsoo felt his teeth digging deeper into his lower lip. “What did he do now?”

“It’s not-….it’s not just about not. And not just him. Everybody here-“ Kyungsoo breathed in deeply, trying to stop his voice form shaking. “I don’t fit here. I’m not meant to be here. Everybody looks down on me and at first I thought it was just because of my ugly clothes, but-…but now I feel like they just look down on-…on me.”

His voice broke, but Baekhyun’s grip on his shoulders only tightened.

“Let me tell you one secret about the fashion industry. It’s all about confidence.” Baekhyun said in a soft voice and Kyungsoo was about to interrupt him, tell he really could care less about the fashion industry, but the other man was faster. “It’s about how you perceive yourself above all, Kyungsoo. You have to accept yourself first before expecting others to accept you too.”

“I do accept myself!” he argued, like a kid, with a wobbly voice.

Baekhyun smiled fondly.

“The fact you’re here in my office, on the verge of crying, proves that really, you don’t.” Kyungsoo almost whined, feeling his shoulders dropping again. Baekhyun, however shook him lightly. “Come on. Everything will be fine. I know Jongin can be rude sometimes, scary even. We’ve all been where you are. Hell, I’ve been where you are.”

“You have?”

“Mhm. I know he can be an asshole. But at some point…at some point he’ll stop being one.”

Kyungsoo pursed his lips, finding that hard to believe. Memories of that dazzling smile erupted in his mind though, and he wondered.

“How long have you known him for?”

“Seven years.”

“And when did he…stop being an asshole?”

“About last month.” Kyungsoo shot his eyes up and Baekhyun laughed, pushing him lightly. “I’m messing with you. Will you smile?”

Kyungsoo shook his head, breath leaving his lips.

He tightened his grasp on the bag’s shoulder strap.

“What should I do, Baekhyun?”

“First of all, you should go get cleaned up cause you’re getting that all over me and now I’m all sticky.” The designer said, pulling his hands away from him and then shrugging, dragging his glasses across the table and resting them on the bridge of his nose. “Besides, I told you already. You work for a fashion magazine, for God’s sake.”

“So?”

“So,” Baekhyun smiled again, a devilish glint in his eyes. “Take advantage of that.”


	4. Chapter 4

Kyungsoo had to take a deep breath to calm down his racing heart.

Partially because of the running, partially because of the nerves.

He closed his eyes for a brief moment, exhaling, before pushing the glass doors open with his free hand.

“So all it took to have you show up at work on time was Jongin screaming once. Who would have thou-…oh.”

Kyungsoo put down the cup holder trays on Sehun’s desk slowly and had to try his best not to turn around and run out of the office under the deeply intrigued look in his coworker’s eyes.

Sehun didn’t even try masking the surprise on his face.

He didn’t even try to be subtle while eyeing him up and down.

Kyungsoo almost cowered back when Sehun put the phone down and actually stood up from his chair. His mouth was still open in something akin to shock.

“I-…you…” Sehun shook his head, those eyebrows skyrocketing up on his forehead again as he obviously tried to clear his thoughts. “Baekhyun?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow.”

Kyungsoo almost breathed out. There was a hint of pride crawling in his chest.

He had rendered Oh Sehun speechless.

Definitely not a thing he’d thought he could accomplish. Ever.

The silence in the office was getting a tad too deafening, though, so he decided to ignore the fact that Sehun was eyeing him up and down for probably the tenth time since he entered and he turned towards his desk.

“Uh, there’s this new spice latte thing in Starbucks that they offered me, it was a buy one, get one free kind of deal, so if you want to try it it’s the one on the lef-“

“Is that a Louis Vuitton coat?”

His fingers tightened around the coat he had been just about to throw over his chair.

“Uh…yeah. Yeah, I think so.”

“What top is that?”

This was so out of his zone. Even after a whole Friday afternoon and a whole Saturday with Baekhyun, he was still very much confused about everything.

Confused, because he still didn’t quite see the hype, even though the clothes they picked out from the magazine’s wardrobes were beautiful.

Confused, because he had never in his life thought accessories could take up more than half a day walking in those insanely large storage rooms and would cause him a headache.

Confused, because there were now clothes everywhere in his apartment and he still hadn’t gotten around to organizing them neatly in his tiny wardrobe. He was kind of scared to. Each piece of clothing Baekhyun had given him had probably once costed more than his entire wardrobe did.

And he had just given it all to him. He’d just told him to take it and wear it because _‘it’s old collections anyways, nobody needs it, it will just attract moths down here’_ , after coaching him for hours and hours how to combine colors and how sagging pants are the absolutely worst fashion crime he could commit.

 _“Hello,”_ he’d hummed while throwing yet another shirt on the forming pile of clothes in Kyungsoo’s arms. _“There is a reason belts exist.”_

And today was Kyungsoo’s first time wearing those things to work. He had opted for something safer. A black shirt and black pants, paired with one of the belts Baekhyun had been cooing at for ten minutes straight the other day and that pretty beige coat. The shoes were fancy, too.

“The turtleneck? Uh…something like…bul…blu-…uh, It sounded like blueberry?”

“Burberry?”

“That’s the one.”

“Nice…” Sehun mumbled out, giving him one last complete body scan before focusing his gaze on his face. Finally. “Well, you look good.”

Kyungsoo would have started crying at the sound of a compliment coming from Oh Sehun, had he had one less ounce of pride. However, this place hadn’t still completely broken him, so he ended up smiling and nodding his head once in gratitude.

To have Sehun acknowledge that he looked good felt nice. It felt warm.

Sehun smiling was an odd sight, but it was also certainly not unwanted.

“You styled your hair too.”

Kyungsoo’s hand unconsciously flew up to his bare forehead. It had taken a lot of effort this morning to try and replicate the way Chanyeol had pushed his hair up for the benefit.

“You said it looked good that way, didn’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Kyungsoo let out a quiet chuckle as he saw Sehun quickly spinning on his heel, face returning to its blank, unbothered natural state of being.

He watched him grab the trays with the coffee cups and storm out of the office.

And he breathed out when he was alone, finally feeling lighter. At least a bit.

Had he known that actually planning your outfit and having a brand tag on his clothes would spare him a lot of distasteful comments and confused glances from basically everybody working here, he would have let Baekhyun play dress up with him earlier on.

Had he known, he would have spared himself a lot of trouble.

He just ended up shaking his head again, another heavy sigh escaping his lips as his eyes unconsciously moved to look towards the large, throne-like chair in the empty room.

* * *

It was a surprisingly calm day in the office.

There weren’t many calls and there weren’t many people storming in and out with racks of clothes and articles for approval.

The few ones who did come in at some point of the day, though, for example that female editor from the run-through Krystal – they had to do a double take to make sure they weren’t imagining what they were seeing.

„It‘s nice, isn‘t it?“ Baekhyun mumbled out when yet another employee had stuttered out in surprise when seeing Kyungsoo dressed like that. „Having people fawn over you?“

„They‘re not _fawning_ ,“ Kyungsoo corrected the editor, pushing him off his desk so he could pull forward the documents. „They‘re just surprised. It‘s like ugly Betty after she got a makeover.“

„Give yourself some credit,“ Baekhyun popped the lollipop out of his mouth, waving it around distractedly. „You‘re much cuter than ugly Betty.“

„The character or the actress?“

„The character.“

„That‘s not much of a compliment, you know.“

Kyungsoo had to slap Baekhyun‘s hand away when the latter tried to pinch his cheek.

He had to dodge yet another attack, before Baekhyun obviously grew tired or teasing him and brought the lollipop back to his lips.

The phone on Sehun’s desk rang and Kyungsoo suddenly remembered the younger was still there, after an entire day playing on his phone quietly and throwing him and Baekhyun annoyed looks from time to time.

“Kim Jongin’s office.” The younger said in a bored voice. “Mhm….mhm.”

Kyungsoo looked up to see Sehun lazily scribbling something down on a piece of paper before shooting his eyes up to stare right at him.

“In an hour?...Alright, I’ll be there.”

He hung up the phone, writing something on the paper again and then stared straight into Kyungsoo’s soul again.

“You have to go pick up some new designs for the next issue.”

“You just said _you’re_ gonna go, you lazy ass.” Baekhyun noted from the side, lollipop accusingly pointed in Sehun’s direction.

“Well seeing as to how it’s the second assistant’s job and Kyungsoo doesn’t look like he has anything better to do, I figured he wouldn’t mind going to Gangnam to pick up a damn sketchbook.” Sehun looked like he was daring him to refuse as he raised an eyebrow. “Do you?”

“Uh, no, sure, I’ll go. There’s not much to do here anyways.”

Baekhyun scoffed when he stood up to allegedly pass the piece of paper from Sehun’s desk to Kyungsoo’s – not before reading it himself, eyebrows furrowing.

“What? Tao’s label? He’s trying to get featured again?”

“He’s never stopped. His stuff aren’t half bad. They just never fit into the monthly themes. And this time he’s apparently working on bags so who knows. It’s worth a shot.” Sehun shrugged, snatching the paper from Baekhyun’s hands and actually laying it down on Kyungsoo’s desk. “This is the address. You’re looking for a Tao. He’ll give you a sketchbook and you have to bring it back here. Easy enough?”

“I wear flashy clothes once, doesn’t mean my IQ dropped by half.” Kyungsoo frowned. “People don’t take university diplomas seriously anymore.”

Kyungsoo looked down at the address. It wasn’t far, but it wasn’t close either. He supposed he could walk there, but that would take too much time and besides, he didn’t know if Jongin would show up in the meantime and ruin everybody’s day.

He sighed out.

“How do I get there?”

“Use your university diploma to call the driver.”

Kyungsoo squinted his eyes at the way Sehun greasily smirked at him.

In the end of the day, Oh Sehun was just a kid. And maybe there was something absolutely endearing in his sassiness.

Kyungsoo couldn’t really be mad at him.  No.

In fact, he found himself smiling on the way out of the office.

* * *

Kyungsoo was skipping steps on his way up to the forth floor. The driver was, after all, waiting for him downstairs and he didn’t want to make the man wait.

He could already hear people buzzing around, the familiar sound of racks of clothing being pushed around.

This place was nothing like their offices in Vogue. It wasn’t black and white and silver and clean.

It was colorful and chaotic, yet beautiful.

 _Artsy_.

It looked more like an atelier than an office.

“He looked around, no one minding him as they continued their work. There were several women standing at the end of the hallway with sketches in their hands. One of them had a measuring tape hanging from her neck.

In the other side of the room, there was a man – extravagant clothes and angular sunglasses resting on the bridge of his nose, even though he was inside. He was looking through the clothes on the rack.

Kyungsoo threw a look towards the women, who seemed to be engaged in a conversation, before breathing out and stepping towards the man. He only stopped pulling out hangers with heavy fur coats when Kyungsoo stopped in front of him.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for Tao?”

The man smiled just briefly, before raising a hand to push the glasses on top of his head.

“Well, you found him.” he said, low voice dripping with an accent. “How can I help you?”

“Oh.” Kyungsoo mumbled out quietly. Well now the flashy clothes made sense. Weird designers. “I came here for the sketchbook. I am Jongin’s assistant…?”

Tao looked at him, eyebrows just slightly raised on his forehead.

“You’re not Sehun.”

“Good observation. Sehun was…” Kyungsoo hummed, mind flashing images of Sehun playing on his phone slouched over the desk. “Busy. He was busy, so he sent me.”

“Of course. Come, come. Follow me.” Tao rounded the rack and started walking towards the reception desk that had seemed pretty abandoned. The mess on it didn’t bother him as he reached out to start looking around. “The designs are complete and are ready for production. See, I altered some of Jongin’s ideas. I thought they were way too, hm, old-fashioned, I suppose.”

Kyungsoo tried not to wince.

Someone changing Jongin’s ideas? Not cool.

“There you go,” Tao handed him a leather-bound book, before leaning back and crossing his arms in front of his chest. Kyungsoo’s mouth felt sour.

“So I should tell him that you…changed his designs?”

“No, no, no, love. They’re _my_ designs, just without Jongin’s touch anymore.”

That wasn’t in any way better.

He could already imagine Jongin’s cold glare upon hearing that.

He flashed a look towards the clock hanging on the wall. Almost 2pm already.

Jongin was probably at the office already. Kyungsoo suddenly felt like calling in sick or something.

It was bad enough that he had to face him now and potentially get fired after the whole matcha latte fiasco, now he had to tell him some designer said ‘fuck you’ to his ideas. And according to Sehun, no self respecting designer would do that.

He barely contained the sigh.

“You look kind of tense,” Tao clicked his tongue and Kyungsoo almost jumped out of his skin when the designer reached out and touched his cheek. “Care for a drink?”

_Oh._

Kyungsoo felt his lips spreading in a tight smile, as he maneuvered his way out of Tao’s hand and shook his head.

“Thank you, but I’m afraid I have to go. The driver’s waiting for me downstairs and it’s a busy day at work. Jongin would probably be waiting to see this.”

He waved the sketchbook as an excuse, stepping back at the same time. Tao shrugged.

“Pity. Say hi to Sehun for me.”

“Will do. Will definitely do.”

“Bye, love.”

Kyungsoo gave yet another tight-lipped smile, before turning on his heel and wincing.

He almost ran down the stairs.

* * *

He almost shivered when he pushed the glass doors open and threw a cautious look towards the round arc leading to Jongin’s office. He had to squint his eyes to make sure the chair was still very much empty.

„What?“ Sehun‘s voice broke the silence and Kyungsoo turned towards him.

„Is Jongin not here yet?“

„Why?“

„Um,“ Kyungsoo shuffled over to Sehun‘s desk, leaving the leather bound sketchbook there. „The designer said he didn‘t include Jongin‘s ideas? Suggestions?“

„Ooh, good luck with that one.“

„Thanks.“ Kyungsoo pointedly said, grabbing the sketchbook from Sehun‘s desk again. The younger one obviously had no intention to help save his neck.

Sehun hummed, raising one eyebrow up.

„It‘s not like it‘s your fault. It‘s really just Tao‘s loss, that thick skulled idiot who never listens. No need to look so scared, Jongin won‘t eat you alive.“ Sehun leaned back in his chair, obviously enjoying the agonized look on Kyungsoo‘s face, and smirked in content. „He‘s not coming in today.“

“Oh.” Kyungsoo mumbled out, feeling a stir in his chest.

To say he wasn’t a bit disappointed would be a lie. He was kind of disappointed that he wouldn’t see Jongin today.

That Jongin wouldn’t see _him_ after he put some effort into this whole ordeal.

He had changed his entire wardrobe just because of him and he wouldn’t be there to even see.

He wouldn’t see him and he wouldn’t be able to apologize about last Friday. It was a pity.

However, another part of him, a slightly bigger one, celebrated because he didn’t feel like he was ready to face Jongin just yet. He wasn’t ready to see those cold eyes and listen to criticism all over again. He wasn’t ready to feel lesser and he most definitely wasn’t ready to tell Jongin about those designs.

“So when is he coming back?”

“What am I, his mother?” Sehun lazily looked up after sensing Kyungsoo’s glare. “Fine. He’s in China. Woke me up at an ungodly hour last night to book him a flight for this morning.”

“In China? What is he doing in China?”

“I don’t fucking know. A day trip. He’s flying back tonight, unless he calls me again at 4am and changes his mind. You know how he is.”

“So he’s coming back to work tomorrow.”

“Supposedly.”

Kyungsoo tapped his fingers on his desk, absentmindedly staring at Sehun, before letting out a breath.

“Four am? Really?”

“Are you trying to make small talk?”

“God, he really _is_ an asshole.”

“Hey, don’t get me involved in your teenage angst.” Sehun looked up, looking bored. “Unlike you, I actually do like my job and I would like it if I could keep it.”

“I do like the job. I just think Jongin is…a bit over the top really.”

Sehun rolled his chair to the side, staring into the security camera in the corner of the room.

“If anybody’s listening, I don’t know him. I have no association whatsoever to this person.”

Kyungsoo felt the blood draining from his face, eyes turning towards the camera. He gripped the desk tightly.

“There is audio monitoring?!”

Kyungsoo felt the wave of panic hitting him all at once – he felt his hands shivering and he felt his pupils shaking and the world was starting to seem kind of blurry.

His heart was about to burst from his chest, as he tried thinking of thousands of scenarios – all of them leading to one thing. Him getting fired and kicked out of here forever.

 _Idiot_ , he was already chiding himself mentally, as he tried to stand up and…do what? Look for the security booth and burn all the tapes?

He spilled a late on Jongin _and_ he talked shit about him and it was caught on tape.

Definitely not employee of the month material.

He was three seconds away from having a heart attack, when he heard a sound so foreign and different, that it made him forget about everything else for a few moments.

Sehun.

He was laughing.

A wheezing high-pitched sound, so different form the scoffs and sneers he had been hearing from him so far.

He was laughing, head tilted back and fingers (for once!) letting go of his phone in favor of clapping his hands together like a seal.

“Gotcha!”

Kyungsoo felt lightheaded for a moment. Like all the skies cleared up and he could hear a choir of angels.

But then the lightheadedness was replaced by annoyance that only got fired up by Sehun’s laughter.

“You absolute dipshit!”

“I can’t believe you fell for this. You really think there would be audio monitoring in an office where top-secret stuff are being discussed?”

“I wouldn’t define picking the color of a lace for a blouse top-secret stuff, but go off I guess.”

“You should have seen your face.”

Sehun was still chuckling, a tear escaping his eye from all the laughing, and Kyungsoo just breathed out.

Sehun was, indeed, a kid.

A spoiled, little brat, but despite his sassy attitude, he was helpful and kind (in his own weird way).

And he was cute when he laughed like a dying seal, Kyungsoo supposed.

He just rolled his eyes and returned to his seat.

Maybe – just maybe – it wasn’t that bad, working with Oh Sehun.

Especially when their boss wasn’t around.

He could get used to hearing that wheezing sound.

* * *

It was yet another uneventful day of them just casually sitting in the office and waiting for something – _anything_ – to happen.

It had been yet another morning filled with surprised raises of eyebrows when seeing Kyungsoo.

He didn’t feel quite comfortable with the obnoxiously bright colors filling half of his wardrobe, so he had opted for a simple white dress shirt, neatly tucked into his black slacks. He had tried his best to coordinate a good outfit, knowing today he’d have to face Jongin’s wrath.

If Jongdae ever found out just how much time he’d spent in front of the mirror getting ready in the morning, he’d never hear the end of it.

However, the suspenders did look cute and he did feel like one of those watches Baekhyun had given him would look good with the outfit so that’s what he’d went for.

He had dared ask Sehun, to only get an approving nod when he walked inside the office a few hours ago.

But yet again, it was an uneventful day. Them just waiting for phone calls and waiting for their respective lunch breaks. Kyungsoo couldn’t wait until he could get to the cafeteria and get his daily dose of caffeine. Maybe sneak to the carbs department and spare himself an earful from Baekhyun, who was apparently starting to get into feng shui and was bothering him and Sehun about it for a whole twenty minutes before he got bored and sulked away to his own office.

Kyungsoo was in the middle of reading through an old article of his from university, when the doors opened an din walked a poised man with an elegant suit that looked like it was created by God himself to fit him so perfectly.

Okay, maybe not by God.

Maybe some designer, some famous name, and maybe the price tag on that thing was with more zeroes than Kyungsoo could count.

Kyungsoo needed a few moments to register why his name seemed so familiar, but before his brain cells could even start complying, Sehun had sprung out of his seat, immediately bowing down a little as a greeting.

“Mr. Zhang! We were not expecting you today, sir!”

 _Oh, right._ That’s where he knew him from. The benefit.

Mr. Zhang.

Zhang Yixing.

One of the circled names. _The_ circled name.

Editor in chief in China.

Kyungsoo quickly scrambled himself up to greet the man as well.

“Sehun, it’s been a while! How are you doing?”

The ditor walked over to Sehun and grabbed his hand in a rather enthusiastic handshake instead of bowing back. Sehun gave him a rather nervous smile.

“I’ve been doing fine, sir. Thank you for asking. How about you?”

“Same old.” The man smiled, a dimple appearing on his cheek, before he turned to the other desk. He pursed his lips in concentration for a brief moment. “I’m sorry, and you are?”

“Oh, I’m Jongin’s second assistant, sir.” Kyungsoo hurriedly  replied, feeling somewhat nervous in the presence of a man just as important as Jongin.

However, compared to his boss, this one smiled dazzlingly, that same dimple making an appearance again. He walked forward, stretching out an arm elegantly. Kyungsoo immediately took the offered hand, bowing his head a little at the man who just wouldn’t look away from him.

“Well you’re absolutely magnetic. Why have I not met you yet?”

“You have, sir,” Kyungsoo’s eyes shot down to their hands. Zhang Yixing was still not letting go and was looking at him with eyebrows twitching in the slightest of all confusions. “We met at the benefit briefly.”

“Ah, the benefit,” the editor smiled as if that was the nicest thing he had heard all day. “That explains it. My mind is all over the place, especially during that time of the year. So many faces, so many people we have to meet. I hope you’ll forgive me.”

“Of course, sir. That’s absolutely understandable.”

“I _am_ sorry. Really.” Yixing smiled again, putting his other hand on top of Kyungsoo’s, tapping it lightly twice before letting go of him, finally. Kyungsoo let out a breath.

Kyungsoo hated to admit that his heart was racing.

Just a little.

But that man in front of him was handsome, with his cute smile and dimple and his beautiful eyes. And he seemed kind.

Why couldn’t _he_ be his boss? 

Speaking of bosses, Kyungsoo felt a shiver run up his spine when he felt the slightest breeze from the doors opening again.

And in walked Jongin.

In all his glory and all his beauty. He was glowing and Kyungsoo couldn’t help the little awe that he felt every time he saw the man and his perfect bone structure.

He had about two milliseconds to see Jongin looking around the room, once towards Yixing, then towards Sehun and finally towards him.

He couldn’t help the surprised twitch of his eyebrows and Kyungsoo _did_ notice it.

He also noticed how his boss quickly looked down, all the way to his black pointy shoes, then back up. He felt the shivers running up his spine again.

But then he looked away, when Sehun appeared by his side to help him get out of his coat, and that little moment ended to only be further interrupted by Yixing, who leaned against his desk, looking towards him.

“I really like your hair,” the Chinese man said nonchalantly and Kyungsoo felt himself freezing. “The hairstyle. I think it really suits you. One gets to see your whole, beautiful face. I like it.”

Kyungsoo was absolutely sure that his face was turning some shade of red by now, as he bowed his head yet again in the man’s direction, barely managing to mumble out a ‘thank you’ in gratitude.

“Sehun, arrange another flight to China for Thursday, apparently there have been some issues we need to look into. Contact Yixing’s assistant, he’ll fill you in on the details. _All_ hands on deck.”

“Yixing’s assistant?” Sehun asked, a vaguely sour expression on his face. Kyungsoo made a mental note to ask him about it later.

“Yes, Yixing’s assistant. I believe you’re familiar with him, no?”

“No. Yeah, I mean. I know him.”

“Good. Then there’s no problem.”

Jongin took a break between his orders, an unusual one, that was caused by Yixing walking towards him, hands in his pockets.

“Call the board of directors and get them in a conference room at 5pm. Tell them it is urgent. Kyungsoo,” Jongin took yet another pause and Kyungsoo felt himself freezing all over again when the man looked at him. He didn’t look half as mad as he had expected him to. “Inform the editors that there will be changes, they should wait until further notice before they continue working on the next issue.  And tell Baekhyun to come by my office before the meeting of the directors.”

“Alright.” Kyungsoo bit on his lower lip, scribbling down a quick bullet point in his pad. Call editors. Call Baekhyun.

“We’re going to grab a lunch, so if anybody needs me tell them to come back in two hours.” Jongin said at last, fixing a button on his absolutely perfect suit.

And then he turned around, walking out of the room, followed by Yixing who gave them a little smile before trailing off after him.

Kyungsoo let out a breath when it was just him and Sehun in the room again.

What had just happened?

He didn’t have the time to process the Chinese editor in chief holding his hand, he didn’t have the time to process him complimenting his hair and face and he absolutely didn’t have the time to process Jongin not screaming at him after last week but actually talking to him in a collected and calm tone.

He didn’t, because as soon as the doors shut closed, curse after curse started spilling from Sehun’s lips – some colorful things Kyungsoo hadn’t ever thought he’d hear in a fancy white office.

“What? Is everything OK?”

“No.” Sehun frowned. “We’re going to China, apparently.”

“We?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Yeah, we. Jongin said all hands on deck. We’re all going.”

“Oh…Oh, okay.” Kyungsoo hummed. A work trip. Not bad. “So what’s the problem? You don’t like dim sum?”

“Oh, I like dim sum. I absolutely love dim sum. What I don’t like is having to work with the absolute devil.”

“Well that’s not rude at all.”

“Not you, smartass.” Sehun frowned, picking up the stationary phone with a little more swing in his arm than necessary. “I’m talking about Yixing’s assistant.”

“Why is he the devil?” Kyungsoo asked, looking for the numbers of the editors in the Excel sheet. He had at least five phone calls to make.

“Because. He just is.”

“A very well built point. I get it.”

“He’s pretty and he’s smart and he thinks he’s all that. And _my God_ , is he sassy. I want to punch him in the mouth every time I see him.”

“Sounds like someone I know.”

“Shut up.”

“Is that an inferiority complex, Mr. Oh?”

Sehun scoffed, already punching in a number in the phone.

“Not after seeing his dick, it’s not.”

“You saw his d-…you know what, I’m not even gonna ask.”

“Yeah I saw it. We had a kind of a friends with benefit situation going on until he started fucking his bo- HELLO MR. SHIM!”

Kyungsoo shook his head in disbelief as Sehun started filling in one of the directors on Jongin’s immediate request. Instead, he pulled forward the numbers of the editors and started doing his own job.

Mentally noting to definitely ask Sehun about it later again and to make sure he’d let his friends know he was going to flake on Friday night. Couldn’t quite show up in the bar if he was going to be in China.

He bit on his lower lip, before raising the phone to his ear.

* * *

Sehun was still in the middle of sulking and refusing to talk to Kyungsoo when the doors opened again and Jongin walked in, hair marvelously tousled and lips artfully parted.

Kyungsoo kind of felt tense when he saw him walking in alone, without Yixing.

“Sehun, go prepare the conference room for a meeting.”

“Yes.”

Kyungsoo looked at Sehun slipping out of the room to do what he was usually supposed to do – prepare the water with the ice, put glasses around the place. Make sure there would be pads and pens for anyone who might have forgotten to bring their own. Stuff like that.

“Kyungsoo, come in my office.”

He had been wrong. Now he felt tense.

He felt his eyes widening when he watched Jongin walk through the arc towards his own office.

Kyungsoo needed to breathe in twice and exhale slowly to calm himself enough to stand up.

Why did Jongin want to see him in his office?

Was this about Friday? _Fuck_.

He was almost shaking when he finally stopped in front of the large desk, Jongin writing something on a paper.

His boss didn’t look up, nor did he stop writing until he was done, which was about a whole minute later.

An entire minute of Kyungsoo’s nervous system short-circuiting.

“So,” Jongin started finally and looked up, fingers intertwined on top of his desk as he looked straight up to his face. “Sehun mentioned something about you needing to see me yesterday. What is that about?”

Kyungsoo blinked dumbly a few times, before it finally hit him.

 _FUCK_.

“Oh. Oh, that. Yes.” Kyungsoo shuffled his weight from one leg to another. It didn’t help that Jongin took this moment to look him up and down again – slower this time, taking his goddamn time as he completely wrecked Kyungsoo’s calm. “Sehun sent me to this atelier downtown yesterday to pick a sketchbook from Tao.”

“Ah,” the sound that left Jongin’s lips sounded like a mix between a groan and a moan and Kyungsoo tried his best to not blush. “What about it?”

“He wanted me to tell you that he…decided to stray from your, hm…suggestions.”

Kyungsoo was pretty sure this was the first time he was seeing Kim Jongin roll his eyes – an action that seemed rather mundane being performed by this god of a person. He reached out towards the leather bound book waiting for him in the corner of his desk and started flipping through the pages. Kyungsoo awkwardly shuffled in his place again, watching his boss scan the designs in concentration.

“And when you said he decided to stray from my suggestions,” Jongin closed the sketchbook and looked at him again. “You meant he completely ignored them.”

Thankfully, Kyungsoo’s mind supplied helpfully and on time that leaving out the bit where Tao called them old-fashioned would be a wise thing to do. He ended up shrugging.

Jongin leaned back in his throne-chair, hands flying up to rub his face.

Kyungsoo felt like he wasn’t supposed to be here – witnessing Jongin like this. Looking somewhat tired, somewhat truly exhausted. Not physically, though. Not like he had been after the benefit.

Jongin seemed like he was tired emotionally.

He almost felt too bad for him when he leaned on the desk. He almost felt too bad when he noticed the darker circles under his eyes.

“This boy will never learn.” His boss mumbled out in his honey-dipped voice. “He wants to get featured and while I do acknowledge the fact that he has his own style, I’m just trying to help him understand the general public…if he refuses to listen, then so be it. All I can do is submit this at the meeting and see if enough people approve it for a feature.”

Kyungsoo pursed his lips, once again feeling not quite in place. He felt like he was intruding Jongin’s thoughts.

And he didn’t quite know what to do. He couldn’t really walk forward and pat Jongin on the head. He couldn’t really tell him ‘there there, it will be fine’. NO.

And then, he hadn’t been kicked out yet so he couldn’t quite just walk out of the room.

He looked at Jongin again, the way he was pressing his fingers against his temples, lips turned down in a small pout.

Kyungsoo calmed down his breathing, nodding to himself once as assurance.

“Are you alright? Do you want me to go get you something to drink?”

Jongin shot his eyes up to look at him. He didn’t look away and remained silent for a few seconds.

Kyungsoo’s need to run away only intensified when Jongin leaned back in his chair.

“Cold water. With ice. And if you can find me some Ibuprofen, that would be lovely.”

Kyungsoo blinked dumbly yet again. What was this?

No commands, no screaming, no frowning and no criticism? Has Jongin and Yixing somehow swapped souls during their lunch?

He nodded immediately.

“Of course. I’ll bring it now.”

Jongin let out some sort of hum and Kyungsoo took that as a cue to walk away.

However, there was something pulling at his chest and he absolutely hated himself for stopping under the arched doorway. He hesitantly put a hand on the wall as he turned around to the desk.

His boss was holding his head between his hands again, eyes closed.

“Jongin?”

The man looked up towards him and Kyungsoo wanted to bite his tongue off. He was digging his own grave here.

“About Friday…I wanted to apologize. I should have been more careful.”

“And I shouldn’t have screamed at you. It was just a shirt.” Jongin said almost immediately, eyes looking somewhat birghter as he straightened up and Kyungsoo found himself absolutely dumbfounded. Had they _really_ swapped souls? He had to blink rapidly to make sure he wasn’t imagining that hint of a smile on Jongin’s lips. “Let’s forget about Friday, ok?”

“Y-…yeah. Sure.”

Kyungsoo was partially dumbfounded when he nodded at the closest thing he’d ever get to an apology.

He almost bumped into the wall when he turned around again to go look for Ibuprofen and ice cubes.

“Kyungsoo!”

Jongin’s voice quietly calling after himf rom his office made him turn on his heel again.

“Yes?”

“Don’t style your hair up anymore.”

Kyungsoo blinked quickly, hand twitching up before he stopped it form touching his locks.

That was odd. One of the oddest things Jongin had ever requested, even odder than the demand for chicken wings at 3am two weeks ago.

He supposed he could do that. It would spare him fifteen minutes in the morning.  He nodded slowly.

“Okay? Is that all?”

Jongin stared at him for a few seconds, before nodding, brown locks of hair falling over his eyes.

“That’s all.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really sorry I took a while. I was travelling a lot and it was really hard to write updates.
> 
> I hope I’m not disappointing y’all with this story but lately I have felt so drained, I feel like I can’t produce anything better than that. I really, truly am sorry.
> 
> Still, I’d love to know what you thought, comments are always greatly appreciated.
> 
> Until next time~


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

05

Kyungsoo had only been on an airplane four times in his life before. Economy class, where it was packed with people, where they gave them questionable looking food in a little plastic bag and where he had to deal with that weird lady falling asleep on his shoulder.

He tried to not look like a child in Disneyland when he entered _this_ part of the plane, though.

Why they needed business class tickets for a flight that was barely two hours long was beyond him. However, at the sight of his own couch with his own mini fridge and his own TV, he wasn’t going to complain. Jongin really did have money to waste, huh.

Sehun seemed to have reached a new peak of irritation when Kyungsoo asked him if the drinks in the mini fridge were included in the price or not. Kyungsoo didn’t take that to heart though. Sehun had seemed fidgety from the moment they met in the car that morning, only replying to Jongin and then going back to anxiously unlocking and locking his phone every ten seconds.

It was when the flight actually took off that Kyungsoo finally contained some of his excitement. He was sipping on the white wine and looking out the window over the fluffy white clouds lining the sky. It was kind of magical.

“So will you tell me how that briefing with Yixing’s assistant went?” he dared ask Sehun at some point, quietly, because Jongin was just in front of them, discussing something with Baekhyun. “Why are we actually going to China?”

“Information got leaked from an employee for the upcoming issue.” Sehun clicked his tongue. “Another magazine published it before Vogue, so now they have less than a week to change the entire layout for the magazine before they start printing out the issue next Monday.”

“And that is our problem, because…?”

Kyungsoo was kind of lost. If it was an internal issue at Vogue China, then he had no idea why the editor in chief of Vogue Korea would have to get involved. China was a big country, Kyungsoo was pretty sure they had more than enough competent people running their magazine.

Although, he had to admit, he didn’t believe anyone under Jongin would even dare whisper about the upcoming magazine articles. Unless they wanted to be grilled after that, of course. Maybe Yixing was too nice with his employees.

Sehun’s reply, however, erased all those speculations from his mind.

“Because it’s an article about Jongin.” Sehun whispered in a hush, looking tired already. “The other magazine claimed the interview as theirs and Vogue can’t have that. There will be suing.”

“We came all the way to China to sue people?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Sehun scoffed. “We’re here to assist Jongin, as always. And he’s here to have a new photoshoot, a new interview.”

“Wait, then why’d he stop the editors from working on the Korean edition until we returned?” Kyungsoo felt his eyebrows twitching.

“He’s doing new work. Killing two birds with one stone.”

Kyungsoo blinked.

“He’s going to publish an article about himself in the next edition?”

Sehun shushed him rather harshly, a quick hand flying in front of his face. Kyungsoo winced, throwing a look towards the seats in front of them.

“Yes. He is. Is that a fucking problem?”

 _Egocentric_ , Kyungsoo thought, raising his eyebrows and looking away towards the window again.

He couldn’t even begin to imagine just how big of a confidence one had to have to approve an article, a whole lot of 6 pages or more with their own pictures, to be published in the magazine they were running.

He almost breathed out a sigh.

It was kind of hard to understand it, but Jongin had been a model once. A designer, a muse, a businessman. He was an established name in the industry.

It was kind of hard to understand it, but Jongin was probably used to this sort of stuff.

Kyungsoo rested his head back on the seat, eyes looking over to the front.

He kind of wondered exactly what a model looked like during photoshoots. Hair all styled, clothes picked out accordingly, makeup applied professionally, camera flashes blinding and shutters going off.

He wondered what _Jongin_ looked like during photoshoots.

With his plush lips parted, with his beautiful eyes hooded, face turned to the side to showcase his glorious jawline.

Kyungsoo cleared his throat, straightening up in his seat and willing the images away from his mind.

He _supposed_ that would be the first edition of the magazine he would willingly buy.

Kyungsoo raised the wine glass to his lips.

He hoped his face wasn’t too red from the heat in his cheeks.

* * *

Kyungsoo was holding his own luggage and also Jongin’s, and he had also somehow gotten Sehun to hang his own carry-on on his shoulder while he was in the back showing Jongin their schedule for the day. Baekhyun wasn’t of much help either. He had one hand wrapped around his suitcase’s handle and the other tightly holding his phone to his ear as he was very hotly arguing with somebody over different textures for T-shirts.

So somehow, Kyungsoo had been the first one to escape the gate and the first one to notice the man holding up a card that read VOGUE KOREA.

Right. The assistant.

Kyungsoo curiously looked at him. He was standing up straight, a small face, a small smile. Big eyes. Kind of bronze hair. He looked cute, Kyungsoo thought, as he started approaching him.

 _The absolute devil_ , Sehun had called him before. Kyungsoo couldn’t see the resemblance.

“Uh…” he awkwardly stopped in front of the man, who had kind of lowered the card as he had seen him walking towards him. “ _Da jia hao_.”

The man’s smile widened a little. Kyungsoo tried his best to smile as well as he reached out a hand. Chinese wasn’t his forte, but he supposed Sehun could take over after this.

“ _Wo shu Kyungsoo_.”

The man in front of him took his hand and shook it firmly. His eyes sparkled for the briefest of moments.

“Cool,” he said in perfect Korean. “My name’s Luhan. Nice to meet you.”

 _Oh fuck,_ Kyungsoo let out an awkward chuckle, shuffling to adjust the weight of Sehun’s bag on his shoulder.

“Well that’s not embarrassing at all,” he winced. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, you’re good. At least you didn’t say _ni hao_.” The assistant, Luhan, just chuckled quietly and shook his head, reaching out forward in the same time to grab one of the suitcases from Kyungsoo’s hands. “Here, let me help with this.”

“Thanks.”

“So, Kyungsoo,” Luhan smiled at him again. “You must be Jongin’s second assistant?”

“That would be me, yes.”

“Well, well, well,” Baekhyun strutted up to them, phone finally pulled away from his head. He smiled brightly at Luhan and before Kyungsoo knew it he had lunged forward to hug him curtly, patting his back twice before letting go. “It’s been a long time, Lu. What’s up?”

“Same old, same old. How are you doing, Baek?”

“Living and thriving, as always.” Baekhyun grinned again, before he turned to Kyungsoo. He knew that teasing glint in the editor’s eyes. “Did I hear you speak Chinese just now?”

“No.”

Luhan chuckled and it was a sweet, cheerful sound and Kyungsoo really couldn’t tell why Sheun hated him so much. Was it another assistant that Yixing had?

Hwoever, when that laughter died out in seconds and Kyungsoo looked up to follow the Chinese man’s gaze and saw Jongin and Sehun finally joining them, he pursed his lips. Sehun’s expression seemed bitchier than usual.

Nope. Definitely this assistant.

“Mr. Kim!” Luhan was the first one who spoke, bowing slightly towards Jongin. “It’s been a while, sir. Did you have a pleasant flight?”

“It was delightful.” Jongin said, voice like honey, smile like gold. Kyungsoo would curse out loud if he could. It was unfair to look this good.

“Sehun.” Luhan said next, voice slightly more quiet and eyes not quite meeting his co-worker’s. Sehun just raised his head and looked away – his reply just as curt. Barely an acknowledgement.

“Luhan.”

There was a moment of awkward silence, before the smile bloomed on Luhan’s face again and he clapped his hands together.

“Well, the car is waiting for us at the exit. I’ll tell you on the way to the hotel what we have planned for the day, is that alright?”

Kyungsoo watched Jongin raising a hand to straighten out some invisible wrinkles on the fabric of his sweater. Turtlenecks were a good look on him, Kyungsoo decided as his eyes soaked in the sight of his boss. They made his jawline seem even sharper than it already was. They were showcasing his defined features.  

“Sounds just about right.”

Kyungsoo watched as Luhan and Jongin started walking forward first, followed by a Baekhyun who was now too busy texting to pay attention to anything surrounding him.

Sehun let out some sort of disgruntled groan, as he reached out to take his bag from Kyungsoo’s shoulders.

He did not seem happy and Kyungsoo had to stop himself from asking him here and now about the tea. He could do that later today.

Instead, he settled for reaching out and patting his shoulder twice, as supportively as he could. Sehun threw him a look and at the sight of Kyungsoo’s encouraging face, he just shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. Let’s go.”

* * *

Dinner was absolutely breath-taking. In every sense of the word.

The wine was sweet, the food was more than delicious and his clothes, personally presented to him by Baekhyun with a shrill ‘you’re wearing this tonight’, were eye-catching.

It was yet another suit – Kyungsoo supposed restaurants like this didn’t allow much room for casualty – but in no way did it look boring. Not with the intricate velvet patterns running all over the fabric.

He liked how Sehun had approvingly hummed when they were getting ready.

He liked how Jongin had soundlessly looked at him down in the lobby.

He liked how Yixing pulled him forward in a very enthusiastic handshake, complimenting his looks.

“Your hair,” the Chinese editor had laughed on their way to the table. “If only your hair had been styled I might have as well considered putting you on the cover of our next issue.”

Kyungsoo had blinked quickly, eyes flashing towards Jongin.

His boss wasn’t looking at them, but Kyungsoo had seen the way his jaw shifted and tightened. He had seen the way Jongin reached up to pull on his tie just slightly, to loosen it around his neck just the tiniest bit.

“Alas, that’s probably my fault. Maybe you didn’t have the time to think about styling your hair with the crazy schedule.” Yixing had laughed sweetly, letting go of him and finally turning towards Jongin. “Speaking of the schedule, I looked at your request for the photoshoot spot. Are you sure about that?”

“Yes.”

Yixing had seemed a bit taken aback at the definite tone in Jongin’s voice. He had recovered quickly with a dimpled smile.

“Well. We still have time until tomorrow, in case you change your mind.” He had pointed politely towards the table. “After you.”

The rest of dinner was running smoothly – discussions about brands and articles, about models and featured designers. Small talk and some inside jokes Kyungsoo wasn’t aware of slipping into the conversation and eliciting polite and friendly chuckles from all parties on the table. All but one.

Sehun was poking at his food, refusing to look across the table where Luhan was sitting next to his boss. He was refusing to even talk, unless asked something.

Kyungsoo almost pitied him.

However, he had other things to worry about more at the moment.

Like making sure he listened to everything because he knew the things being discussed here and now were important.

Like making sure he didn’t drink too much wine. A pity. It was _very good_ wine.

Like making sure he didn’t turn into a stuttering mess every time he caught Jongin staring at him purposefully with that sharp gaze of his.

It was a long night.

A long, tiring night even though all they did was sit and eat dinner.

The first thing he did when they got back in the hotel was check with Sehun about the next day’s schedule, before slipping out of his suit and passing out on the large bed.

* * *

It was challenging for Kyungsoo’s heart to stand there and witness the scene unfolding in front of his eyes.

He was, after all, only a man.

Kim Jongin was a magnificent creature – a handsome man with godly proportions and unearthly features. It was unfair to be that handsome. That’s what Kyungsoo thought on a daily basis as he watched his boss strutting inside the office in his suits.

Today, though…today he didn’t even have the words to describe what he was feeling as he saw Jongin entering.

He was absolutely and positively smitten.

Jongin’s hair was tousled to a mess of a perfection, his lips were painted with the faintest of colors. His skin was radiating, his eyes seemed even deeper and his gaze was even more intense with the power of makeup.

For once, he wasn’t wearing formal clothes. He wasn’t wearing a suit or slacks or a blazer or anything of the sort.

He was wearing a large, almost oversized, shirt. The fabric was light, blown by the wind on the rooftop.

He was barefoot.

Something about this whole look made his heart ache in his chest. There was something absolutely entrancing in this Jongin – the model standing under the light of the sunrise on the high rooftop, the rays of the sun hitting his golden skin and making him glow even brighter.

And _holy fuck_ , Kyungsoo would catch himself thinking every few minutes, forcefully looking away from his boss, _maybe he was in love_.

It was kind of funny. He didn’t think he’d ever been that superficial.

Not ever since the 9th grade anyways when he was in the same club as Lee Minho. And Lee Minho had been the hottest 10th grader in the entire school. That was a fact to this day.

However, not even Lee Minho and all of his glory in the football team uniform could compare to the deity that Kim Jongin was.

“What’s with the face?”

Kyungsoo snapped out of his trance when he looked to the side and caught Sehun staring at him. His eyes were squinted because of the sunlight, and his lips were pulled back in a hint of a teasing smirk. The first one ever since they’d left for China.

Kyungsoo would have sighed out in relief that Sehun wasn’t malfunctioning, but was instead reminded of his question when the other assistant raised his two perfect eyebrows.

“Nothing,” he frowned and looked away. “Just thinking.”

“About?”

He flashed Sehun a look, just to see him tilting his head just the tiniest bit in Jongin’s direction. Kyungsoo almost cursed out loud.

 _I see right through you fool,_ Sehun’s eyes screamed and Kyungsoo tried his best to utilize the ‘ _Shut up’_ in his own gaze.

“It’s unfair, don’t you think?” he ended up crossing his hands across his chest and looking towards Jongin again. “The way some people get to live their lives. With beauty, fame, money. While others,” he vaguely looked between himself and Sehun. “have to work their asses off day and night to make them shine even brighter.” 

Sehun hummed, looking at Jongin.

There was a certain longing in his eyes and Kyungsoo pursed his lips.

It wasn’t a romantic longing. Not a sexual longing.

It was more admiration than anything.

A longing to be where Jongin was.

“You know,” Sehun said, voice surprisingly soft. “Everybody has to start somewhere.”

Kyungsoo blinked when he saw Sehun smiling and looking at him.

“And I don’t know about you, but I’m okay with being in the shadow for now if it means someday I get to have that life.”

Kyungsoo opened his mouth, ready to argue. He didn’t want that life.

His eyes flashed towards Jongin and the way the sunlight was kissing his skin, the way he seemed like he had never felt more comfortable in his life. Under the sky, in front of all the cameras.

Like he was born to be there.

He startled when Jongin looked towards him then, a moment like a fleeting breeze, those hooded eyes finding his.

His heart skipped a beat.

_Did he?_

* * *

Kyungsoo breathed out when they returned to the hotel room. It had been a long day with lots of outfit changes and a lot of runs for water and changing food preferences. Some things didn’t change, even when they were in another country.

He just wanted to get in bed and be up early the next morning. They had another long day ahead of them – a meeting with the owner of the publishing house and then their flight in the afternoon, followed by undoubtedly thousands of tasks once they returned to Korea with the new photos and interviews.

He had just washed his face and even though it was barely 9 he was ready to get in bed and sleep his youth away.

A loud knock on the door shattered all his plans for an early night.

Sehun looked like a wreck. His usually perfectly styled up hair was flying in all directions. The shirt wasn’t tucked into his slacks, the tie was just handing on both sides of his neck. He had a mad look in his eyes and Kyungsoo felt his lips pursing as he opened the door wider.

Sehun stood there silent for a few moments, maybe not quite believing the fact that he had come to Kyungsoo of all people. Kyungsoo couldn’t believe it himself.

But he waited there and stared, even though he was so out of his zone right now. Sehun, however, really didn’t look good and he would never, ever just shut the door in a friend’s face.

“Hey,” Sehun said, almost inaudibly. He cleared his throat then, getting rid of the rasp in his voice. “Do you want to go get Starbucks?”

Kyungsoo’s nod was curt as he grabbed his wallet and card, quickly shoving his feet in the slippers that had been discarded next to the door. Sehun didn’t even say anything about him wearing that. He truly must have been feeling unwell.

It was almost suffocating on their way across the street. Sehun wasn’t really saying anything and Kyungsoo was almost too afraid to ask.

However, almost all the way across the street, he grew more anxious of the silence, and he raised his eyebrows warily.

“Are you-…okay?”

Sehun shot him a look. _Do I look okay?_

“Luhan?”

His friend just pursed his lips and looked away. _Yes_.

“Did something happen between you two?”

“I’m not one to kiss and tell.” Sehun said and he could hear the frown in his voice. “But I’m also not one to have sex and shut up about it.”

Kyungsoo froze momentarily in the middle of his step, before recovering and catching up to Sehun with two quick steps.

He had a lot of questions floating in his mind, most importantly – when the fuck?

He concentrated on the day – him and Sehun had been together all day long with Jongin, at the photoshoot site, at the restaurant for lunch, at the office where the interview was conducted, on their way to VOGUE’s headquarters where they met Yixing and Luhan.

And then when they’d come back to the hotel and Yixing had asked to discuss something with Baekhyun, when Jongin had finally dismissed him and Sehun-

That’s when they’d parted. That’s when he’d last seen Sehun. That’s when he’d last seen Luhan.

A little over an hour ago.

He blinked quickly, trying to shake off the shock. He couldn’t understand how it had happened – there had been nothing but utmost ignoring and sharp glares exchanged between those two since yesterday.

Kyungsoo could feel his cheeks burning, as he pulled the door of Starbucks open.

“Go take a seat,” Kyungsoo instructed quietly. “I’ll get the drinks.”

“I want a Caramel Cocoa Cluster Frappucino Blended Coffee. With a lot of whipped cream. Lots of it.”

Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow, looking at how tired Sehun looked when he ran a hand through his unruly hair as he headed for one of the empty tables in the corner of the place.

Kyungsoo followed him with his eyes for a few moments, before shaking his head and moving to the cashier. Ordering that obnoxious drink and then his iced americano.

He didn’t know much about Sehun and Luhan.

Hell, he didn’t even know much about Sehun only.

However, that didn’t mean he couldn’t be there for him if he needed the company now.

“All that sugar,” Kyungsoo mumbled as he handed Sehun his drink. “Are you sure?”

“I’m miserable and lonely. I _need_ the sugar.”

“You need to get ovaries implanted, that’s what you need.”

Sehun’s lip shifted up in a semblance of a smile as he shoved the straw in his drink. Kyungsoo sat across the table, looking at him curiously.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

A little bit of concern rose in his body as Sehun started gulping down those amounts of sugar down as if they were hard liquor.

He took a sip of his own coffee, waiting for a reply.

“Every time.” Sehun ended up saying after a while, a little sneer in his tone. “Every time I promise myself it’s the last time and every time I end up doing the same dumb shit again and again. I keep running back to someone who doesn’t want the same things I do.”

Kyungsoo nodded to indicate that he was listening.

“It’s exhausting,” Sehun’s sigh was kind of shattered. “To be so emotionally invested in someone who will make you feel like the entire world belongs to you to only have them run to another man after they’re done with you.”

Kyungsoo’s brain was working hard, but not hard enough to stop him from reaching out to put a hand over Sehun’s. The younger assistant looked at him sharply.

He didn’t shake his hand off, though.

“Every time I think he might have changed, you know,” he continued. “Every time he makes me feel real special, I think he might have actually decided to finally give me a chance. And every time I end up looking like the biggest fool when I realize how delusional I am being.”

“What did he do?”

“His boss called him.” Sehun shook his head. “Requested his _company_.”

“His boss?” Kyungsoo echoed, eyebrows shooting up. Now that he thought about it, he did recall Sehun mentioning something about Luhan sleeping around with his boss. His eyebrows furrowed on his forehead, the image of a dimpled man floating around in his mind.

As if reading right through him, Sehun scoffed.

“Not Yixing,” he said, sipping the rest of his drink through the straw. “The other boss. Wu Yifan.”

“Wu…” Kyungsoo drifted off, the name sounding awfully familiar. He looked up when realization hit him. The owner of the publishing house. “Wu Yifan? As in-“

“The man we’re meeting tomorrow? Yeah.” Sehun sniffed, looking rather unhappy. “Big man. Big ego. Maybe an even bigger dick considering how I get fucked over every time because of him.”

Kyungsoo just raised his cup to his lips, the bitter taste of coffee keeping him awake and alert.

His supportive friend arguments were evaporating one by one.

Sehun’s chuckle was quiet.

“You don’t have to look so scandalized.”

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo winced. “It’s just kind of-…overwhelming.”

“Tell me about it. You have no idea what it’s like to compete against that.”

He had to admit, it was probably kind of difficult.

“You do know what it’s like to want someone who is out of your reach, though, don’t you?”

Kyungsoo shot his head up, looking at Sehun who had an inquiring look in his eyes. One of his eyebrows was raised and Kyungsoo felt the heat starting to creep up his face again.

He was almost thankful that his phone started ringing.

Until he looked and saw the name flashing across the screen.

Sehun’s eyebrow raised even higher on his forehead.

“Aren’t you going to pick up?”

Kyungsoo’s voice was caught in his throat, as he reached out to grab his phone.

“Ye-…Yes?”

“I need help.” Jongin’s voice sounded as oft as honey even through the phone line, yet commanding and harsh. “Come to my suite.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t even reply before the line went dead.

He let out a heavy sigh, as he looked back at Sehun.

“What did he want?”

“He needs help with something.” Kyungsoo mumbled, watching the way Sehun ran his hands through his hair, as if trying to tame it somehow, and standing up.

“I forgot my phone in my room,” the first assistant sounded tired. “And he’s probably tried calling me. I won’t hear the end of it…did he say what he needs help with?”

“Yes, he explained in full detail and then said he wants to have a sleepover and a movie marathon.”

“Okay. I see your point.” Sehun nodded, shaking his head and following him across the street back towards the grand hotel.  

Kyungsoo’s cheeks were still burning and he tried to calm himself down as they reached the elevator. He couldn’t help but observe the way Sehun was slouching, the way he was avoiding his own face in the elevator’s mirror. He was still a wreck.

“Listen…” he started hesitantly. “You can go rest if you want.”

Sehun looked up. _Really?_

“It’s okay. I’ll figure this out.”

A tongue darted over Sehun’s lips as he nodded hesitantly, shoulder slouching even more.

Kyungsoo smiled a little, reaching out to pat Sehun’s head. Any other day this would have probably earned him a death sentence.

Today, however, it ended up with Sehun reaching up to grab hold of his wrist gently and looking straight into his eyes.

“Kyungsoo?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you.”

Kyungsoo breathed in deeply, hand patting Sehun’s head one last time before sliding away from him. He smiled.

“You’ll be fine.”

* * *

When Jongin had opened the door of his suite wearing nothing but sweatpants, Kyungsoo had wanted to scream.

It had been agonizing, witnessing that. Jongin’s naked chest, his perfect golden skin looking smooth under the dim lighting in the room. The sweatpants riding low enough for him to see defined abs and a V-line.

Truly agonizing, seeing that and being unable to do anything about it. The body of a god.

Kyungsoo had immediately looked up, which hadn’t done him any more good. Jongin’s face was clean and fresh, hair damp from a shower.

He only threw one look towards him before opening the door wider and letting him enter.

“Where’s Sehun?”

“He isn’t feeling too well.”  

“Alright,” Jongin had said, sitting back on the large couch in his suite and pointing towards the little coffee table, not giving Kyungsoo the chance to admire the view from the all glass wall. One could see the entire city and its lights from up here. “I need you to organize those invitations and contracts. Expiring ones in a pile, invitations and offers in another.”

Kyungsoo didn’t trust himself to speak out loud, so he nodded and headed towards the pile of documents.

The entire time while he was working he was trying to ignore the fact that Jongin was sitting close to him, still only wearing his grey sweatpants, absorbed in his own work.

What was even harder than organizing the files was not letting his eyes wander. It was exhausting to keep reminding himself to not look.

He had made it the task of the night to get done as soon as possible without breaking his morals.

It was kind of easy to keep himself occupied. He was focusing on his work, not getting shocked already by the amount of contract offers. Ralph Lauren, Burberry, Gucci, Fenty. He could only shake his head. It truly was a lifestyle he couldn’t even imagine.

When a yawn bubbled in his throat, he threw a look towards the clock. It was nearing eleven.

His eyelids were starting to feel heavy, the exhaustion slowly creeping up on him. There were only about fifteen sheets of paper left in the pile. He sighed, reaching out to grab the next one. He was almost done.

He blinked quickly when he felt the couch shifting underneath him and he caught a movement with his periphery vision.

Jongin had shut his laptop, leaving it on the table.

He was standing up now and Kyungsoo peeked up to see him pulling a white T-shirt over his head.

It was casual and it fit him like everything else – just perfectly.

Kyungsoo immediately looked down to the papers when Jongin caught him staring at him.

He felt his breathing hitching when he sensed his boss walking closer. A hand reached out to hold the paper that he was currently holding.

Kyungsoo immediately let go and looked up.

Jongin wasn’t looking at the papers. He was looking at him when he dropped the document back on the pile without a second glance.

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

“What?” Kyungsoo heard himself asking, before quickly remembering Jongin didn’t like that. Instead, he raised his eyebrows. “Now?”

“Yes.”

“But I’m not done with the-“

Jongin just raised his eyebrows and Kyungsoo almost cursed.

His boss looked like a kid. His lower lip was slightly protruding and he almost looked like he was pouting. Almost.

With the damp hair, with the T-shirt and sweats.

He looked younger.

“You can finish them tomorrow morning.”

Kyungsoo felt like he wasn’t left with much of a choice, as he stood up from the couch under Jongin’s intense glance. He reached out to start gathering his things – his phone, his wallet, his room card.

“Leave it,” Jongin said. “You’ll pick them up when we get back.”

Kyungsoo nodded, leaving his things behind as he started walking away.

Jongin walked after him towards the door and Kyungsoo suddenly felt very awake.

His brain was both blank and working at full power. He almost felt kind of dizzy as he looked at Jongin just following him silently outside the apartment suite.

“You’re going to go outside….in sweatpants?”

Jongin smirked, a sight that should have been illegal.

“No one knows me and I don’t know anyone. I really, truly don’t care.” He sighed, a small content smile on his full lips as he shut the door behind them. He turned to look at Kyungsoo, before shrugging. “It’s nice to take a break from having to be me all the time.”

Kyungsoo was kind of stunned as he followed Jongin towards the elevator.

The way he just shoved his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, the way he slouched his shoulder lightly, the way he ruffled his still slightly damp hair – he was nothing like the boss he saw every day. Nothing like Kim Jongin, the editor in chief of the biggest fashion magazine in the world.

The Kim Jongin in front of him looked like a normal human. Young, carefree, _smiling_.

In sweatpants and a white T-shirt. He looked like a college student.

The thought almost made him laugh. It was a ridiculously big change from the poised man in all kinds of suits.

What made him laugh even more was the fact that their clothes kind of matched – he was wearing his hoodie still. Both of them were wearing slippers.

Baekhyun would probably get a heart attack if he saw them like that.

Kyungsoo was whipped, just staring at Jongin and following him, not sure if he could start a conversation. Even if he could, he wouldn’t know what to say.

Thankfully, Jongin took it upon himself to speak first.

“So, a writer.”

Kyungsoo blinked up.

“Hm?”

“A writer. You said you wanted to become a writer someday. Write articles.” Jongin looked at him briefly before taking a turn into some dark alley away from the bright street. “Is that not correct?”

“Uh-…yeah.” Kyungsoo said, frankly surprised that Jongin remembered his interview from months ago.

“So that’s the dream of Do Kyungsoo.” Jongin hummed. “Writing.”

Kyungsoo nodded slowly, mouth slightly agape. His heart was starting to go crazy in his ribcage again. _Not now._

“And do you think the job you have now will help you get there in any way?”

Kyungsoo shut his mouth. Was this a trick question? Why was Jongin asking him that. He felt his fingers curling into a fist nervously.

He must have taken quite some time, because Jongin looked towards him, kind of intrigued.

When he laughed, a low, throaty, quite honest sound, Kyungsoo was left confused.

“No need to look so concerned. We’re not working now. I’m just asking a question.”

Kyungsoo’s mouth was dry, when he attempted speaking again.

“Well…Vogue is a big magazine and getting the opportunity to work here will definitely open new doors for me in the future.”

“Textbook answer.” Jongin hummed again, raising an eyebrow. “Now, what do you _really_ think?”

Kyungsoo felt his heart skipping a beat at the playful look in Jongin’s eyes. This was something he was witnessing for the first time.

He felt like a victim. It was unfair.

“What I really think?” Kyungsoo repeated, shoving his hands in the fold of his hoodie, not quite sure if it was wise to actually voice his thoughts. “I think you know some really influential people. I think that working for you is a great way to meet those people. Get my work noticed.”

“Have you not considered the fact that I also happen to be an editor?”

Kyungsoo looked up sharply. Jongin was looking at the street they were walking on aimlessly.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing.” His boss said. “Just wondering why you’ve never asked _me_ to read your work.”

Kyungsoo ran his tongue over his lips, now dry all over again. Jongin couldn’t possibly mean that, could he?

“You’re a very busy person and I don’t think it’s right.” He ended up mumbling quietly. “I’m not in the position to be asking you to read my work.”

Jongin didn’t say anything to that.

Instead, they just kept walking through dark alleys and little streets.

Jongin looked just as breathtaking under the streetlights as he did under the spotlights at events. Just as breathtaking as he walked and the background was the old, cracked façade of buildings.

He reached out a hand to trace an old poster for a ballet showcase, as they walked past it.

“Do you like ballet?”

Kyungsoo nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I haven’t seen much, but I think it looks beautiful.”

Jongin smiled, pulling his hand back from the poster and continuing down the street.

“It _is_ beautiful.” He agreed. “You know, I used to learn ballet when I was a kid.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened. Not because Jongin had trained ballet, because he could honestly imagine it – that slender, beautiful body executing every move perfectly.

He was surprised because Jongin was sharing something with him. Something personal.

Like a friend.

“Really?”

“Yes. I really loved it.” His boss hummed. “Then I moved on to jazz from there. I did some hiphop, too. After that I ended up in the industry and I didn’t have time for it much anymore. But I really loved it.”

Kyungsoo let out a shattered breath.

It was completely new. Listening to Jongin talk about his own life. About the things he loved.

He could listen to him forever.

“I should probably go see a ballet play when we go back,” Jongin said thoughtfully. “It’s been ages.”

“I can check your schedule.” Kyungsoo said, almost instinctively. Jongin looked towards him with an entertained smirk.

The look in his eyes was unusually soft.

“Do you feel uncomfortable being with me alone, Kyungsoo?” Jongin asked and he could hear the laughter in his tone. It was like he had fun teasing him.

It was the first time Kyungsoo could see the young man inside Kim Jongin. Not just the youthful face and the fit body. It was the first time he could see the young boy in his his boss.

The young boy that had no business running a magazine and being under the constant spotlight.

The young boy who had been locked inside.

Kyungsoo’s heart leaped in his chest, as he shook his head abruptly.

“No. Of course not.”

Jongin laughed quietly, a sound that got carried away by the wind and that mixed with the loud souns of the distant traffic.

They were still aimlessly walking through the streets, Kyungsoo still trying to calm his breathing, while Jongin kept that serene hint of a smile on his lips.

“Is Sehun alright?” he asked all of a sudden, and his eyes actually looked caring.

Kyungsoo bit on his lower lip, shrugging.

“He will be.” He shrugged, looking down at his feet. He didn’t know if it was alright for him to speak about this. Especially with Jongin.

“He must hate me for always forcing him to come here with me. He must despise me for putting him through that.” Jongin mumbled, shaking his head. “Sehun is a good boy. He’ll get over it someday. He has to.”

Kyungsoo was rendered speechless for the umpteenth time in just a few hours.

Jongin’s chuckle was sudden and just as soft as the look in his eyes.

“Say, Kyungsoo,” he started, turning towards him and stopping under the street lamp of the small street. “Am I a bad boss?”

A bad boss?

Kyungsoo stopped under the light as well.

He was demanding, and he was rude at times. He was intimidating and he was scary if he had to be.

But he did it for his job. He did it for his magazine. He did it for the people he was working with.

Kyungsoo had realized that after the benefit.

“No,” he shook his head.

Jongin ran a tongue over his plump lips. He was looking at him.

“Am I a bad person?”

Kyungsoo felt like time had stopped around them. Like the sound from the cars was distant and muffled, like the wind wasn’t blowing and messing up their hairs anymore.

He looked up to Jongin, to the way the fringe was falling over his round, honest eyes and the way his lips were slightly parted in anticipation.

It was like he was seeing him in a completely different light. Like he was talking to a different person. And there was nothing bad about him.

He felt warmth spreading in his chest, as he shook his head briefly again.

The word came out almost as a whisper.

“No.”

Jongin just stared at him quietly for a few more moments. Fleeting like the wind, yet infinite.

He ended up nodding, more hair falling over his eyes.

The serene moment was broken by Jongin stepping back and clearing his throat. He looked around the street and Kyungsoo looked down, suddenly feeling just how hot his face had gotten.

“Kyungsoo?”

“Yeah?” He almost yelped. He wanted to slap himself.

“Do you know Chinese?”

Kyungsoo blinked. If Jongin considered basic greetings and ordering food speaking Chinese, then yeah.

He cleared his throat.

“Not really. Why?”

“Because we left our phones in the hotel and I have _no_ idea where we are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In true ~~Ho~~ erigom fashion, Jongin headed for Paris for the next Gucci show and here I am, with an update~ 
> 
> I realize this chapter is slightly more boring, but I hope you liked it!
> 
> Please leave a comment and let me know what you think~ 


	6. Chapter 6

 

 

 

 

06

 

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes couldn’t move away from the words on the page.

Little words, but so much meaning behind them. So much thought poured into them.

It was probably the fifth or sixth time he was re-reading Jongin’s interview in the latest issue of the magazine. And with every next read he’d realize he had missed something the previous time. Something small, something tiny. Yet, carrying a thousand more meanings and layers.

He let out a breath when he closed the magazine and peeked down at the cover. Jongin’s lips were slightly parted in the picture, hair blown by the wind and a hand with pretty fingers covering half of his face. There were little, yellow dandelions peeking from between his fingers. The look in his eyes was sensual, as if it was inviting anybody who saw him to fall for him.

Demanding, really.

Kyungsoo sighed. Maybe there was more in that pretty head of Kim Jongin’s than he had thought before. A lot more.

Judging by that interview at least, and the way he had expressed himself.

He wondered if all of it was real, or if the editors had changed some of it to make it sound more impressive. He doubted that, however, as Jongin himself was an editor. The editor.

The door opened loudly, and the cold wind from the hallway made Kyungsoo shiver as he shoved the magazine to the side. Pretending he hadn’t just been staring at the cover until now. He almost scoffed at himself for being silly.

He worked in VOGUE. SO what if someone walked in and saw a VOGUE magazine on his desk.

He looked up instead of reprimanding himself to see Baekhyun barging in with two hangers and a very prominent pout on his face.

“Which one?”

Kyungsoo blinked stupidly at the designer, who had raised his hands higher, two strikingly different shirts hanging from them.

“What, you’re asking for advice? Me, of all people?”

“Well I don’t see anybody else around here, so I’ll have to work with what I get.”

Kyungsoo closed his mouth, looking back towards the coats. One seemed heavy, a light beige color. There was a pocket at the front. The sleeves were long. Too long actually. Kyungsoo supposed if he were to put that thing on the sleeves would fall all the way down to his ankles.  The other was simpler in shape. And it was black. Sort of. It was almost transparent, mesh was it? There were embroidered flowers on it, a striking red contrasting with the black. 

His eyes lingered on the black shirt, his mind very unhelpfully supplying him with images of Jongin wearing that excuse of a shirt, toned chest and abs peeking from underneath the fabric. Damn China and damn the very moment Kim Jongin opened that door shirtless. Ever since then there hadn’t been a day Kyungsoo hadn’t thought about it at some point or another.

He cleared his throat, shaking the image out of his head, before jugging his chin towards the black shirt.

“That one.”

Baekhyun grinned. He looked very pleased, as if that’s the answer he had been waiting for.

“Just what I thought,” Baekhyun lowered the shirts and threw them over his elbow, grin only widening. He seemed pleased with himself. Proud, even. “You, my friend, have finally started learning about fashion. I knew working here for some time would change you.”

“It hasn’t changed me.”

“I beg to differ.” Baekhyun smirked. “I don’t see you wearing khaki pants anymore and I call that progress.”

Kyungsoo shot him a look, before straightening up in his chair.

“What are those for anyways?”

“Pictorial.” Baekhyun wove his hand dismissively. “But if you liked that shirt, I can get one for you as well.”

Kyungsoo scoffed.

“No, thanks.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’d rather die than wear something transparent.”

“Then why’d you say you liked it better?”

Kyungsoo could practically feel his cheeks heating up.

Sure, he could never even imagine himself wearing a mesh shirt.

Jongin, however…

“It’s better than that monstrosity,” he motioned towards the beige sweater. Quick thinking. “It looks like a snake is shedding its skin on your arms.” 

It was Baekhyun’s turn to scoff.

“Where is Sehun anyways? I need to talk to him about something.” Baekhyun leaned over Kyungsoo’s desk, a glint in his eyes and a small smile on his lips. He continued in a hushed voice. “I’ve actually been thinking about asking him to model for my line. Do you think he’ll like that?”

He thought about it for a moment. Sehun had mentioned before he had always wanted to be a model. He had mentioned before it was why he had started work in this industry.

Besides, taking on some additional job would maybe take the kid’s mind off everything else. A certain Chinese assistant, in particular.

Kyungsoo felt the smile spreading on his lips before he even realized he was smiling.

“Like it? Baek, he’s gonna _love_ it.”

“I know, right?” Baekhyun grins widely, showing off a large amount of his teeth. “The things I do for this kid.”

Kyungsoo’s smile remained small, warm. His thoughts travelled back to his very first day in this office. How he’d thought he’d never fit in, how he’d thought his place wasn’t here.

Now, however, he had grown closer to so many people.

Sure, they were no friends of his like Chanyeol and Jongdae and sure, they didn’t even try to be subtle with their comments sometimes, but they still mattered. Some of the editors, some of the models. Some of the photographers.

Sehun.

Baekhyun.

And sure, they were no Chanyeol or Jongdae, but they were still friends. In their own way. With their snide comments and their bratty replies and with sarcastic comments and faux fur and leather.

On his first day here, he never would have thought that he’d actually come to _like_ them.

* * *

Sehun was on the phone. Hair still wet from the melting snowflakes and coat still on his back as he kept pacing back and forth with a big scowl on his face. Whoever he was talking to was apparently a ‘fucking dumbass’ who just got ‘fired’. 

Kyungsoo grimaced as he looked down to the ribbon he was trying to tie in the perfect bow on top of the red box.

The office was going crazy. Everybody was working – editors were calling in every ten minutes asking for Jongin who had still not shown up at work, business partners were calling to request features, invitations for tons of different events were arriving daily. Run throughs were being held more occasionally. Apparently people were buying more magazines in winter. They had about twenty different drafts for back-up articles for the December issue.

And on top of everything else, there was going to be a company Christmas party.

Which meant that it was him and Sehun stuck organizing it. Naturally.

The only thing that made the fact that he was preparing fake decorative present boxes better was the fact that all proceeds from the fundraiser would go to charity, as well as an additional percentage from the magazine.

_Do it for the children_ , he kept repeating to himself. Even after he got yet another nasty papercut.

“Those morons,” Sehun said in the same time he slammed the phone down. “They sent Jongin’s order to some wrong address!”

“What order?”

“His custom made Gucci suit for the Christmas party.” Sehun seemed annoyed as he was furiously typing something. That keyboard wouldn’t survive much longer after such treatment.

Kyungsoo sighed out quietly, shaking his head as he looked down at the bow. One side was bigger than the other. It annoyed him more than it should have.

He pulled on the ribbon, undoing the tie and starting all over again.

“So what?”

“So what?!” Sehun echoed, then scoffed. “That means he has no suit. It means we lost the damn suit and about ten thousand dollars.”

Kyungsoo shrugged.

“Well, I don’t think it’s that big of an issue. It’s not your fault,” he mumbled, fingers pressing down on the ribbon. “Besides, Jongin was probably like, born filthy rich or something. Stepped out of the womb wearing a suit. His umbilical cord was a Gucci belt.”

There was a quiet, breathy chuckle that resounded in the room.

Kyungsoo’s blood froze in his veins. That was _definitely_ not Sehun’s chuckle.

He almost dropped the box he was holding when he raised his head and saw Jongin standing by the door – snowflakes in his hair, and a large coat on his wide shoulders. He was looking at him with his mouth slightly opened in amusement. There was a barely visible smile at the corner of his lip, a maybe dumbfounded one.

Kyungsoo felt the breath leaving his chest as their eyes met.

_Shit_.

He was just about to start blurting out apologies, and maybe start begging to keep his job until at least after the holidays so he could afford buying presents and paying rent. Sehun, however, was already on his feet, shooting a dirty glance towards Kyungsoo, before reaching out to help Jongin out of his coat.

“Call Suho and ask him to come here as soon as possible.” Jongin started speaking first, breaking the silence as he started sliding the gloves off his hands. “And reschedule with Minseok. We’re killing the entire shoot, the orange reminds me too much of Halloween. It doesn’t fit the December issue. Besides, the girl they sent was nothing like what I imagined.”

Kyungsoo tried to ignore his shock for a few moments in favour of reaching out to grab a paper and start noting down everything coming out of Jongin’s mouth as the man ran a hand through his hair in irritation, the snowflakes disappearing.

“Is it that hard to find a healthy, happy girl who can hold a tray of cookies and make it look good? I’m thinking maybe Seulgi. Maybe. Contact Krystal and see what her schedule looks like. Have Baekhyun prepare the next run-through and tell him we’re holding it this afternoon. Cancel my appointment with those representatives of that idol group, I can’t deal with that now.”

Kyungsoo’s hand was dashing over the paper, his ugly scribbles filling the page.

“Sehun, go down to the marketing department and tell them all about the Christmas party. We want the news out. The more people we get to donate, the better.”

Sehun didn’t need to be told a second time. He rushed out the door as soon as Jongin finished talking.

“We need the invitations for the party to be sent out by Wednesday, so go over the guest list and make sure everything’s in order.”

Kyungsoo nodded, writing yet another bullet point on the growing list of tasks. He pursed his lips as Jongin walked past his desk towards his office. 

His heart was beating in his ears and it only skipped another beat, when Jongin’s soft voice resounded in the room again.

“Oh, and Kyungsoo?”

When he looked up he saw Jongin had stopped just under the arched doorway to his office. He was looking at him with slightly raised eyebrows.

“A bakery.”

Kyungsoo blinked.

“A bakery?”

“My parents owned a bakery.” Jongin said, one of his eyebrows raising a bit more up his forehead. “A very small bakery.”

Kyungsoo released a shaky breath when Jongin finally turned around and entered his office.

He hadn’t even realized he had been digging his nails into his palms until he spread out his fingers.

His mind was hazy.

Something in this world, some deity maybe, hated him. Had a personal vendetta against him.

Nothing else could explain his shitty luck. Of all times Jongin could have walked in, he had appeared when Kyungsoo was talking shit.

He wanted to smash his head in the decorative box in his hands.

* * *

“Hey!” Kyungsoo greeted Sehun when he saw him entering. The younger just gave him a suspicious look before moving over to his desk and grabbing the coffee cup that was waiting for him.

“You’re here before me and for some reason you seem way too cheerful. What happened?”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, as he stood up from his chair and grabbed the metal box on his desk. He undid the lid, as he shrugged and approached Sehun’s desk.

“I sent out all the invitations, I reschedules everything and I think I managed to find Jongin’s suit as well. Life is just being nice for once. And,” Kyungsoo put the opened box in front of Sehun. “My mom sent me homemade cookies for Christmas. Here, have some.”

Sehun looked at the box dubiously, before he looked up at Kyungsoo brattily.

“Do you know how much sugar is in those things? How much carbs?”

“It’s the holidays, Watson. You’re bound to get fat anyways. A cookie won’t change anything. Except for those ones, they’ll change your life. Trust me.” Kyungsoo shook the box in front of Sehun. Sehun, who seemed to be eyeing them way too long for someone who claimed he was on a diet.

“Did you eat half the box yourself,” Sehun reached out to pick up one cookie hesitantly. “You won’t fit in your clothes by January at this pace.”

“I wish,” Kyungsoo scoffed, putting the lid back on the box. “Baekhyun was here earlier. Raided half of the box.”

Kyungsoo smiled warmly at the sight of Sehun trying to contain the surprised sound as he tried the cookie. Indeed, his mother made the best Christmas sweets.

“As I was saying, I think I finished most of the things the last few days. We just have to call and confirm the lighting decorations and also check up on the caterers.”

Sehun hummed around a mouthful of the cookie, shaking the coat off his shoulders. He furrowed his brows.

“You said your mom sent those to you? Why?”

“Because I’d like to think she loves me.”

“No, smartass. You’re not spending Christmas with your family?”

Kyungsoo sat back in his chair and shrugged.

“Nah. I couldn’t travel back home cause of work, so my parents decided to go on a vacation. They’re going to have their white, magical Christmas in the Alps.”

“And you’re going to spend your white, magical Christmas in this white, magical office. Doesn’t seem quite fair.”

Kyungsoo let out a breathy chuckle.

“Shut up. I’m spending it with my other middle-class, work-oppressed friends. We’ll having our Christmas dinner together.”

His mind travelled to a very eager Jongdae promising he’d make an apple pie and if four years of being roommates in college and witnessing Jongdae’s cooking skills first hand accounted for anything, Kyungsoo had to remind himself at some point to actually buy a pie from some store during the week.

And Chanyeol-

“Speaking of friends!” Kyungsoo straightened up. “I need your help with something.”

“No.”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes.

“My friend is a very big Balenciaga fan, so I kind of wanted to get him something from them as a Christmas present. Baekhyun said they have a lot of things they don’t use anymore in the wardrobe, so I can get it with a big discount or something. Can you help me pick something out?”

Sehun just blinked at him, his face as stoic as ever.

He shook his head lightly.

“I don’t know what I’m more shocked at – that you have friends interested in fashion or that you pronounced Balenciaga properly for the first time since you started working here. Who _are_ you?”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes again, turning towards the computer.

“I’m taking that as a _yes_.”

* * *

The hall was decorated beautifully. The large Christmas tree was standing in the corner, magical and impressive.

Everyone seemed to be smiling. Everyone seemed at ease.

It was, after all, a Christmas party. And Kyungsoo supposed even the bitchiest of all editors and designers could get their hearts softened a bit by the smell of cinnamon filling the air and presents being exchanged.

He was at ease. Sehun was at ease – they didn’t have to work today. After preparing everything for the party, they finally got to have a drink themselves. They got to celebrate too.

Jongin, too.

He was dazzling in his suit. The tie was red, with some green pattern. Kyungsoo didn’t know if it was just a coincidence, or if even his boss was feeling the Christmas spirit.

His smile was blinding – wide and beautiful and Kyungsoo caught himself more than once staring at the man. When he was calm like this, not working but interacting with people. That serene look in his eyes reminded me of that Jongin in the sweatpants and the white T-shirt he had witnessed in China. It reminded him of that small glimpse of the real Jongin he had gotten the privilege to see. It was a pity he couldn’t see more of that man.

But it was okay. He got to see parts of him here and there and that was good enough for him.

Christmas. It truly was a magical holiday. Bringing people together and all.

His eyebrows flew up on his forehead when someone crashed into him from the side, two hands throwing themselves tightly around his. He felt lips pressing tightly on his cheek, accompanied by an obnoxious smacking sound.

He laughed, as he shook Baekhyun off himself.

“Consider that your Christmas present.”

“That was my Christmas present? Can I get a refund?”

“You can get another kiss, that’s what you can get.”

“Okay, you need to stay away from the punch. It’s only three pm.” Kyungsoo laughed, but let Baekhyun throw a hand around his shoulder anyways.

“I’m sober as a judge, honey.”

“Whatever you say.”

Kyungsoo was chatting with Baekhyun, occasionally being dragged by the editor back and forth when he saw co-workers of his he felt like he needed to greet.

A warm smile bloomed on Kyungsoo’s face when he caught a glimpse of Sehun in the crowd, talking to some of the models. The first assistant was wearing a cozy looking sweater with slacks, and somehow he managed to make it work so good. Sehun always did. Baekhyun was right to want to hire him to model for his brand.

It’s almost like Sehun sensed someone staring at him, because he turned around and their eyes met for a moment.

Kyungsoo had to blink quickly to make sure he wasn’t imagining Sehun’s smile – an actual smile. A wide, happy smile. With teeth and all. He had to blink to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating Sehun raising his hand with the punch glass he was holding, nodding his head a little as a greeting. Kyungsoo just smiled back widely as well.

Baekhyun dragged him away then, apparently he had seen another crowd of people he felt complied to join and annoy.

“WENDY!”

Baekhyun’s shout almost pierced Kyungsoo’s eardrum.  The screeching reply was just as loud and obnoxious.

“BAEKHYUN!” the female that Kyungsoo finally focused his eyes on raised her hands and started walking towards them. “There you are! I’ve been looking for your crusty ass for an hour!”

“I’m surprised you didn’t hear him singing along to Mariah Carey earlier. That was hard to miss.” Kyungsoo muttered while Wendy just laughed joyfully, punching Baekhyun in the shoulder.

“That was you?!”

“Where else have you heard such a beautiful voice. _Of course_ it was me.”

Wendy just laughed again, finally prying Bakehyun out of Kyungsoo’s arms into a light hug. She turned to him then.

“And we’re being completely rude. Kyungsoo! How are you doing?”

It had been a great party up until now.

Now, though, after he heard the author he admired so much calling him by his name, remembering him from the benefit – it just got ten times better.

He shone her a gleeful smile.

“Splendidly. What about you?”

“Same,” the tiny woman took a sip from her punch, before she hummed. She raised a finger, looking at Kyungsoo pointedly and then moving her hand from Baekhyun’s shoulder to his. “I actually wanted to talk to you!”

“To me?” Kyungsoo was genuinely surprised. He vaguely noticed Baekhyun getting dragged to the side by Krystal to go meet someone. “Of course, yeah, uh-…what is it?”

“I finally had the time to go through some of those stuff you sent me,” she started and Kyungsoo let out a strained ‘ _ah’_. He had completely forgotten about that. “I gotta say, I’m really impressed. They’re really good, Kyungsoo.”

He felt something warm in his chest at the compliment. It meant so much to him.

He was just about to gather the proper words to express it vocally as well, but Wendy stopped and looked at him quite seriously.

“And I mean it. I don’t just say it cause you’re a friend. Your writing is actually really good.” She took another sip from her punch. “There is an empty job spot in the publishing house. And to be frank, with a recommendation from me, the chances of you possibly getting it are pretty damn high.”

Kyungsoo was overwhelmed.

For a second, he thought he had even forgotten how to breathe as his brain was processing all this information.

An offer.

An offer for a job. A job he actually wanted to do.

The job he had been dreaming about for years.

He felt like the air around him wasn’t enough.

“I-….I don’t know what to say.”

“Oh, no, no, no.” Wendy laughed cheerfully, patting his shoulder. “You don’t have to say anything now. It’s an offer, so just think about it. I don’t expect you to answer me right away.”

Kyungsoo nodded, still a bit out of breath.

“Besides, let’s not spoil Christmas with work talk,” Wendy laughed. “I’ll get back you with this after the holidays.”

Kyungsoo nodded breathlessly, barely managing to mumble out a quiet _‘thank you’_ before Wendy wove goodbye and disappeared back in the crowd.

He felt like he was all alone in the middle of this huge crowd, his heart thumping loudly in his chest.

He looked around, still feeling quite overwhelmed.

And his eyes fell on Baekhyun laughing with Krystal and Suho and a few more editors.

Then moved on to Sehun who was standing next to Seulgi. Minseok was in front of them, taking their picture with his large camera.

And Jongin, of course. Surrounded by people, smiling his beautiful smile.

Kyungsoo shook his head.

He tipped his glass back, the sweet punch reminding him that he was here today to celebrate.

* * *

By the time the sun started disappearing and the Christmas lights in the hall started shining brightly, most of the guests had left.

It was barely six pm, but there were just a handful of people left chatting in the hall.

Most people had their families to go back to. To have dinner with them on Christmas Eve, then celebrate together with their loved ones.

Kyungsoo was thinking about leaving as well. Chanyeol and Jongdae were probably at Jongdae’s place, most probably setting the place on fire. Maybe he could go back a bit sooner than he had told them he would be there. Maybe he could help prevent further disasters.

But the unmistakable sound of Jongin’s voice stopped him.

“Kyungsoo!”

He turned around to see his boss walking straight towards him. He was buttoning up his blazer, looking just as perfect as he had looked a few hours ago. Not a single hair was out of place.

“Yes?” he asked when his boss finally reached him.

“Where is Sehun?”

“He left earlier,” Kyungsoo replied. “His family came to visit him. They’re spending the holidays together.”

“Ah, I see,” Jongin said quietly, eyebrow twitching. “Well, let’s go then.”

“Go?” Kyungsoo cautiously asked as Jongin started moving towards the exit. He followed a few steps behind him. “Go where?”

“To the office.”

Kyungsoo felt his mouth drying at once and his shoulder slumping.

“I-…Why are we going to the office?”

“I talked to Yuri from PR earlier and she mentioned that they never received the signed papers for the feature requests.”

“What?” Kyungsoo scoffed. “Me and Sehun organized those on Monday and sent them right away!”

“We have to go check and send them again if necessary. Otherwise we lose half the articles for the January issue.”

Jongin’s tone was definite. It didn’t allow any room for negotiating and arguing.

Kyungsoo felt his shoulders completely slumping, and a disappointed sigh escaping his lips.

He just followed after his boss.

* * *

He was maybe starting to develop a tick. His head was turning sharply towards the clock every few minutes and his fingers kept tapping on the surface of the desk.

Jongin’s voice coming from his office was monotone and calm. He was on the phone, still.

And it was getting late. It was almost eight. Kyungsoo bit on his lower lip. The phone buzzed on his desk again. He picked it up with fidgety fingers.

 

     ** _Chensa:_**

      Honestly Soo

      We need help here

 

**_Loey:_**

      For real tho

      You know that vine where the person tries flipping a pancake

      And the pan just breaks

      Yeah that was Jongdae in the kitchen

 

     **_Chensa:_**

      shuT UP

      stop lying my food looks fucking delicious okay

      Just hurry up Soo

      Food’s starting to get cold and I don’t think I can keep

      Chanyeol from devouring the turkey much longer

 

Kyungsoo breathed out almost desperately. He wrote a quick apology and that he’d try to be there as soon as possible, before almost slamming the phone back on the desk.

He threw another look towards the clock on the wall.

Then towards the clock on the computer screen.

Then towards the office, where he could hear Jongin’s melodic voice coming from.

The damn documents were in PR. 100 percent sure. He was absolutely sure. It was one of those important things him and Sehun had taken care of first thing this week.

He couldn’t believe it was Christmas Eve and he really was spending it in the office.

He almost felt like crying when his eyes shot towards the clock again.

He was about twenty seconds away from letting himself feel complete and utter hatred for Kim Jongin, twenty seconds away from completely giving up, when he finally saw Jongin appearing at the arched doorway. He looked tired, a hand flying up to rub his forehead.

Kyungsoo jumped up on his feet almost immediately.

He didn’t dare ask if it was all figured out now. He feared he’s have to stay even longer in here if he asked. Instead, he waited in complete silence and anticipation for Jongin to speak first.

And his boss did. He sighed, breath flying past his parted, plush lips. He raised his hand to loosen the red and green tie, before shaking his head.

“I suppose we’ll have to figure this out some other day. No point in sitting around here and waiting.”

Kyungsoo perked up immediately. He reached out to grab his phone.

“Your driver should be downstairs.” Kyungsoo said, suddenly feeling alive. Finally, he’d go to Jongdae’s and spend some good time with his friends. Spend the holidays with them.

He followed after his boss then.

Down the empty hallway to the elevators.

“The party was nice, no?” Jongin asked and Kyungsoo felt how forced the question sounded. Almost as if he was speaking to avoid the awkward silence on the twenty second ride on the elevator.

“It was.” Kyungsoo nodded. It wasn’t a lie. “Everyone enjoyed themselves. I think a lot of people donated, too.”

“That’s good.”

The driver was waiting with the black car right in front of the building, as promised. Kyungsoo almost felt like pushing Jongin towards the car so he’d walk quicker and so he could then rush to the subway and hurry to his friends.

Jongin, however, was walking leisurely. With his perfect posture and all, he looked like a model walking through the snow.

If Kyungsoo wasn’t in such a hurry, checking the time every few seconds, he would have stopped to appreciate the sight of the man and his sun kissed skin surrounded by the white snow. It was a magical sight.

Jongin stopped by the car, giving him a look. He raised an eyebrow when Kyungsoo’s eyes flashed towards his phone again.

“You seem to be in a hurry?” Jongin asked and Kyungsoo let out a strained laugh.

“Yeah…”

Jongin pursed his lips, then nodded.

“Get in, then. We’ll drop you off wherever you need to be.”

Kyungsoo blinked at Jongin holding the door open and not budging.

“What? Really?”

Jongin just looked at him for a few seconds before he shrugged. Then he motioned towards the car again.

“Come on.”

Kyungsoo blinked in surprise again, but didn’t wait to be invited again.

Jongin’s driver dropping him off would be much faster than waiting for the subway that only ran twice an hour. It _was_ Christmas Eve, after all.

It was cozy inside the car. Warm.

And it only seemed to get warmer when Jongin sat down next to him on the backseat.

Kyungsoo told the address to the driver quietly, and appreciated the quiet hum of the engine as the car was started and started moving down the road.

It was all too quiet in the car and the streets too. There was barely any traffic. Only the Christmas lights shining everywhere in the city.

Kyungsoo tried to focus on that instead of the fact that he was sitting next to Jongin so casually.

“Family?”

Kyungsoo looked towards Jongin when he heard him speaking. His boss was looking at him, hair still pushed up perfectly. Kyungsoo straightened up when he realized he was being asked a question.

Small talk. Breaking the awkward silence in the car.

“Uh, no. Not this year.”

“Oh.” Jongin hummed. “A girlfriend then? A boyfriend.”

“ _No!_ ” Kyungsoo’s voice sounded almost squeaky as he replied way too quickly. “No, I mean-…it’s nothing like that. My parents are on a vacation abroad, so I’m just spending Christmas Eve with some friends.”

“I see.”

Kyungsoo was pretty sure his face was starting to heat up again.

Before the awkward silence could settle again, he cleared his throat.

“What about you? How are you spending the evening?”

Kyungsoo wanted to bite on his tongue. He hoped he wasn’t too out of line. Jongin, however, just leaned back in the seat.

“With some killer takeout and a marathon of The Santa Clause, most probably.”

Kyungsoo opened his mouth.

Then closed it again.

He felt a pang in his chest.

“You’re…not seeing your family?”

“My parents are in the States, they’re spending the holidays with my sister and her family. I couldn’t join them. Too much work in the magazine.” Jongin shrugged. His eyes were closed as he was resting so Kyungsoo allowed the pitiful look to take over his face.

He felt something tugging on his heartstrings.

As the car was driving down the streets, the Christmas lights and decorations everywhere, all he could think about was all the families behind the walls of all those buildings. Celebrating together.

About Chanyeol and Jongdae who were waiting for him.

He looked towards Jongin, his lips pursing tightly.

Jongin had no one at home waiting for him tonight.

No one to spend Christmas with, no one to eat dinner with, no family around him at this moment.

And he felt so _bad_ for him. So damn bad.

No matter how demanding, no matter how bad a person could get someone – nobody deserved to be alone on Christmas.

He tried to bite on his lips harshly to stop himself, but his chest felt tight as he saw the car entering Jongdae’s street.

He let out a sigh, before he let the question slip out of his mouth.

“Why don’t you join me and my friends for dinner?”

Jongin raise this head from the seat and finally opened his eyes. He looked unsure, like he hadn’t heard right.

Kyungsoo sighed, before letting a small smile pull his lips back in compassion.

“It’s no five-star hotel and the food’s most possibly not even on the level of the killer takeout. In fact, the possibility of having to eat burnt lasagna is pretty high, but I suppose it’s better than a movie marathon.”

He wasn’t sure but it seemed like Jongin’s eyes were opened wider than usual. He was staring at him without blinking, and his lips were slightly parted and he looked speechless.

It was the first time he was seeing that expression on Kim Jongin’s face.

Kyungsoo blinked when he felt the car stopping. He just looked towards Jongin and raised his eyebrows the lightest bit.

Jongin breathed out lightly.

“I suppose it is…”

* * *

Kyungsoo maybe had to thank all supernatural deities in existence that his friends weren’t as socially awkward as him and if they were in any way surprised that he was bringing the Kim Jongin with himself, they didn’t let it show, sans for a quick glance once they had stepped through the front door of Jongdae’s small apartment.

In fact, at this point of the evening, when they were almost done with dinner, Kyungsoo felt like he was the only one who still felt awkward. Chanyeol and Jongdae were being their usual bubbly selves, completely having forgotten the fact that Kyungsoo was, in fact, almost two hours late. Or maybe they were just tactful enough to avoid the topic as the most possible culprit was sitting right in front of them.

Everything about this dinner seemed unreal – starting from the fact that Jongin was actually sitting here, in front of his two best friends, on Chrismas Eve, to the fact that Jongdae had actually managed to prepare that pie without burning it.

The topics were flowing naturally – Chanyeol was interested in Jongin’s work, he was starting to let the fashion nerd inside him show and Jongin took all the questions with a kind smile and an encouraging nod.

“You should come to our office sometime with Kyungsoo,” Jongin turned towards him during dinner and Kyungsoo straightened up in his seat. “You can bring him along sometime after the holidays.”

“Really?” Chanyeol’s voice was as booming as ever. It was entertaining to see his friend so excited about something. His eyes were shining and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah, really.” Jongin nodded. “We can show you around and stuff. It’s probably going to be interesting for you.”

“I-…wow,” Chanyeol eloquently said, still grinning. “That’s honestly gonna be great. I’ve read all about the-“

“Tone it down, Coco,” Jongdae scoffed, grabbing the pile of plates. “Before you go on fashion magazine tours, I’ve got another tour for you. To the kitchen sink, where you gotta help me with the dishes.”

Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows as he saw Jongin standing up from his seat, reaching out towards Jongdae.

“Please, let me help with that.”

Jongdae just pulled back out of Jongin’s grasp.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re a guest.”

“What am I then?” Chanyeol grumbled, but did follow Jongdae. “Chopped liver?”

“You practically live here, you imbecile.”

Kyungsoo could hear them bickering even after they entered the kitchen. Typical.

He felt full, and he felt happy now that he was with his friends.

Sure, it was still very weird that Jongin was also here, but after the first hour he had kind of started getting used to it.

Getting used to the fact that even after all these hours, Jongin still looked absolutely perfect. His blazer was gone, the white dress shirt’s sleeves were unbuttoned and rolled up, and the tie was tossed away somewhere.

It wasn’t the perfect suit anymore, but it somehow made him look even better.

Even more perfect.

He realized Jongin had caught him staring at him in his daze, and he startled, pushing his chair back.

He laughed nervously, fingers playing with the hem of his shirt.

“I hope they’re not driving you crazy. They tend to be a bit too much sometimes.”

“They’re great.” Jongin smiled, eyes shooting towards the kitchen, the muffled sound of ongoing bickering still to be heard.

Kyungsoo hummed in agreement, standing up from his chair and heading towards the window to Jongdae’s balcony. He peeked outside. It had started snowing again.

It was so beautiful.

The lights in the dark night, and the snow calmly falling. His breath left fog on the window.

“It’s so different.”

Kyungsoo snapped out of his trance when he realized Jongin had joined him by the window. When he realized his boss was also looking at the white street.

“What is?”

“This. It’s so different from everything I’m used to. It reminds me of the holidays when I was a kid.” Jongin shook his head with a wistful smile. “Before everything. Before modelling, before working, before Vogue.”

Kyungsoo just hummed.

He supposed life was somewhat different when you were someone like Kim Jongin.

Somewhat lonely.

“Here.”

Kyungsoo felt something touching the side of his arm and when he looked down he saw Jongin had reached out. He was handing him something.

Kyungsoo’s eyes shot up to see Jongin looking down at the envelope.

He hesitantly reached up to accept it. His brain was starting to malfunction again.

What was this? Was it some letter? Was it supposed to be a gift? In a letter envelope? He almost frowned. Was Jongin giving him money?

The sarcastic part of his brain supplied that it might be a Christmas bonus. He definitely deserved one after having to stay in the office on Christmas Eve.

He hated to admit that his fingers were actually shaking as he opened the envelope.

His eyebrows furrowed as he pulled out the two papers from inside.

Tickets.

His eyes widened as he read the text around the picture. He looked up towards Jongin.

“You said before that you liked ballet, but never really got to see much of it,” Jongin shrugged, smiling a crooked smile and looking outside the window again. “The Nutcracker’s possibly my favourite. I think you’ll also like it.”

Kyungsoo felt like someone had kicked him in chest, as he looked down towards the tickets again.

“I bought two, in case you didn’t want to go see it by yourself. You can bring a friend along. Jongdae looks like the type who’d enjoy it. Or you can bring Sehun. He looks like he needs to see something that isn’t based on a Nicholas Sparks novel.”

Kyungsoo let out a breathy chuckle at that, his mind still completely boggled. His eyes were still looking at the tickets, but he wasn’t really seeing. Everything seemed glassy, as he tried to get a hold of himself.

“I-…I don’t know what to say.” He ended up mumbling after a moment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even get you a present-“

Jongin interrupted him with a quiet chuckle – breathy and soft.

“If you hadn’t invited me here, I would have had to spend Christmas Eve by myself. Alone, in my big, empty house. Most probably not even having a movie marathon, but replying to business emails.” Jongin smiled almost sheepishly. “So you did give me a present. A great one, at that.”

Jongin raised his glass lightly at him and was about to turn around. Only now did Kyungsoo note how quiet it had gotten.

He watched as Jongin was about to turn away from the window and go join Jongdae and Chanyeol, who were very much failing at pretending they weren’t eavesdropping from the kitchen.

“Wait!” Kyungsoo stopped him before he had stepped away. Before he could stop himself from speaking even. Jongin did turn back to him, their eyes connecting for a brief moment. Kyungsoo could feel his heart beating loudly in his chest, as he reached his hand out, one of the tickets in his fingers. “You said it’s been ages since you’d seen a ballet play yourself, didn’t you?”

Jongin’s eyebrows quirked and he looked at him almost unbelievably. Kyungsoo held his breath.

He truly was crossing a lot of lines today.

“Besides, you did get two tickets. Do you want to go see it with me?”

Jongin’s smile was soft. Completely baffled, but soft. Warm even.

He raised a hand to rub his neck, the corners of his lips lifting into a smirk.

“I don’t know. My schedule’s pretty packed. I guess I’ll have to call my assistant and see what he can do about that.”

“You’re unbelievable.” Kyungsoo breathed out.

He’d lie if he said he wasn’t already getting nauseous at the amount of potential phone calls he’d have to make to clear the damn schedule. However, that didn’t seem to matter, not even the slightest bit.

Not when Jongin took the ticket from Kyungsoo’s hand. Their fingers brushed and Kyungsoo felt shivers running up his spine as he looked up to Jongin’s face.

He looked warm.

Jonginw as looking down at the ticket, looking happy. Truly happy. Not with a wide smile on his face, and not with his eyes forming those half crescents whenever he laughed.

No, there was a glint in his eyes. Content.

And then he suddenly looked up towards him. Their eyes met again and Kyungsoo’s breath hitched yet again.

“Thank you.”

Looking Jongin in the eyes was probably the hardest thing he had ever done. It was electrifying and he felt like he was falling into another world just looking at him.

It was hard, yet somehow addicting. He couldn’t look away.

He ended up nodding briefly.

“Merry Christmas, Jongin.”

It was even harder to look away when Jongin smiled. His heart clenched in his chest.

“Merry Christmas, Kyungsoo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m ….I don’t know. It’s October but I’m writing Christmas-themed chapters. That’s me, a hoe for Christmas.
> 
> Still, I hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you thought~


	7. Chapter 7

07

 

Kyungsoo was standing at the corner of the room with the pad in his hands and writing down bullet points about everything that was being said during the run through. 

Changed locations, changed outfits, orders from Hermes, firing photographers who apparently didn’t understand Jongin’s vision. He had to call Minseok again, pull him from his break. Apparently, he was the only one Jongin could work with without having to fire anybody.

The run through was going rather smoothly – most of the editors were gone so Sehun was in charge of hauling the racks with clothes back and forth and preparing the outfits for Baekhyun and Krystal to present to Jongin.

It was unusually calm – most outfits were approved almost right away, fitting the winter theme of the next edition of the magazine.

Jongin was sitting on his large desk, a pile of lists and books in front of him. He was reading through them lazily while waiting for Seulgi to get dressed with the next outfit.

“Is this the complete list?” Jongin asked and Kyungsoo’s head shot up to look at his boss. “The complete list with guests for the New Year’s Eve party?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo answered quickly. “Those are all the people we sent invitations to.”

He didn’t like the little crease that formed between Jongin’s eyebrows then, as he shuffled the papers, eyes scanning the pages.

“I don’t see Jongdae and Chanyeol’s names here.”

Kyungsoo felt all breath leaving him and the pen almost slipped out of his fingers. Sehun was the one who straightened up first, looking rather scandalized and concerned about having missed someone.

“I-“ Kyungsoo started, voice hoarse with shock and surprise. “I didn’t realize they were-“

“Send them invitations.” Jongin said in a definite tone, partially bored as he looked up towards Krystal, who was fixing something on Seulgi’s sleeve. “Putting on a shirt shouldn’t take a whole day, as far as I know.”

Kyungsoo blinked down quickly at the change of topic. He still felt breathless.

Jongdae and Chanyeol? Out of nowhere?

His eyes flashed towards Jongin who had abandoned the guest lists in favour of fixing Seulgi’s shirt himself, because there was apparently a defect with the ruffles.

Tragic.

They had to order new ones.

Kyungsoo quickly wrote that down, ignoring the way Sehun shuffled closer to him as the editors started discussing something about the color scheme of the outfits.

“He never told us anything about inviting people outside of the magazine,” Sehun said in a hushed whisper. “Do you even know who he’s talking about? Jongdae and Chanyeol. How are we supposed to find them?”

Kyungsoo let out a sigh at Sehun continuously firing questions. He could see the stress in his eyes. He just shook his head lightly, replied just as quietly.

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll deal with it.”

Sehun looked at him curiously, folding his arms in front of his chest.

“Who are these guys anyways?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes shot up quickly to look at the back of his boss, who was very much busy trying to pick one out of two almost identical jackets. Then he moved his gaze to Sehun, who just raised an eyebrow.

Christmas lights and snowy streets flashed in his mind, burnt pie and cheap wine. And Jongin, with his rolled up sleeves and undone tie in his friend’s old apartment, with his dazzling smile and beautiful eyes.

Kyungsoo shook his head, chasing those images away.

“It’s a long story.”

* * *

Chanyeol had needed about half a millisecond to agree to attend the party. Jongdae had needed a little more convincing. Kyungsoo had started with the basic _‘we’re gonna be there, you should come too’_. Chanyeol had chided in with the puppy eyes.

Only when he’d gotten to the part where he promised to introduce Jongdae to Son Wendy, _the_ Son Wendy, had Jongdae agreed to join. 

Exactly that was the reason his friends now stood out so much.

Among all the glamour of VOGUE, among all those people who knew one another – all those editors, all those writers and photographers, models, designers, assistants and interns, all those stylists and makeup artists – there was them.

Chanyeol was taller than even some of the models and he looked way too excited to be there, eyes soaking up everything from the fancy little bite sized sandwiches that waiters were carrying on little trays to the fancy lights and decorations.

Jongdae, on the other hand, hadn’t made the effort to look the part – he was pretty much the same Jongdae Kyungsoo had known all those years – the journalist student with the straight pants and the tucked in shirt, a rather unamused expression as he kept craning his neck to search the crowd.

“But where _is_ she?”

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo gave him a look. “When I find her, _if_ I find her, I’ll let you know.”

“This is such a fraud, I can’t believe you dragged me to a party where there isn’t even hard liquor.”

“There is, actually, hard liquor.”

Kyungsoo closed his eyes for a moment. He turned around then, to face Sehun and all his confused glory as he threw his friends a very suspicious look. Jongdae whistled quietly at the sight of Oh Sehun – who could blame him, really – and Chanyeol’s mouth was just hanging open in awe as he looked at the way Sehun carried himself with such elegance and poise, the expensive designer clothes fitting his figure perfectly.

Kyungsoo vaguely wondered if that’s what he had looked like when he first started working here. No wonder everybody had thought he was odd.

“Who are those people?” Sehun asked, face rather stoic as his eyes flashed to his friends again, no trace of shame or subtlety.

“Kim Jongdae, nice to meet you,” when jongdae sprawled his hand out and Sheun didn’t take it to return the handshake but instead only raised an eyebrow did his friend clear his throat. “What were you saying about that hard liquor?”

“At the bar in the corner of the room,” Sehun said dryly as he watched Jongdae walk away. His eyebrows raised even further as he looked at Kyungsoo. “Jongdae? As in, the Jongdae Jongin was asking for?”

“Same one.”

“You must be Chanyeol then.”

At his giant friend’s enthusiastic nod, Sehun seemed to relax a little at finally knowing who everybody was. Nothing could escape his sharp eyes.

“There’s been a problem with the catering service, so I’ll need you to keep an eye out for everything while I fix that.” Sehun shoved the pad in his hands with his ever blank expression. “If I’m not back by the time Jongin is here feel free to check with the local police station, cause I might just kill someone.”

“Do you need help?” Kyungsoo felt like it was necessary to at least ask. Sehun fixed his vest and then ran a hand through his hair.

“Unless you can cook cocktail shrimp and serve it yourself to all 200 guests within the next half an hour, then no.”

Kyungsoo sighed out slowly as he watched Sehun leaving.

“Is this guy alright?” Chanyeol seemed genuinely concerned. “He looked like he was in pain. Like, emotionally.”

“Yeah, no. That’s just his face,” Kyungsoo shook his head. “You get used to it with time.”

Kyungsoo looked down at the pad in his hands, then back to the crowd where both jongdae and Sheun had disappeared. He felt his shoulders slumping down.

“Chanyeol? Can you please find Jongdae and make sure he isn’t stalking the editors?”

“On it!”

Kyungsoo nodded, his chest feeling a little lighter.

“Thank you. I’ll find you later, alright?”

He didn’t move until he saw Chanyeol mixing with the crowd in the search for Jongdae.

That’s when he finally looked away and his eyes scanned the room.

He was pretty sure he saw two servers walking around with mostly empty trays. He could basically hear Sehun’s shrill and sassy, almost rude remark. _We’re not paying you to stand around doing nothing._ But everything was supposed to be perfect tonight and now Kyungsoo was in charge of it. The power that came with the pad was not a joke.

Kyungsoo took in a deep breath and prepared himself to ruin some poor people’s mood.

* * *

Everything was going rather smoothly.

Sehun had somehow managed to deal with the whole shrimp problem in less than fifteen minutes. Kyungsoo didn’t want to imagine the conversation that had happened behind the doors.

Jongin had arrived in the meantime, immediately being swarmed by editors, colleagues, models and designers. Kyungsoo had only been able to catch a quick glimpse of the man in his gorgeous fur coat that had immediately been taken away by Sehun and his perfectly styled, artfully tousled hair and beautiful smile grabbing a glass of champagne from one of the servers passing by him.

“Here,” Kyungsoo blinked in surprise when he heard the joyful voice of Baekhyun and when he realized the other man had shoved a glass in his hand. “You’re like, the only person who isn’t drinking anything and I won’t have that.”

“I just feel bad for Sehun,” Kyungsoo admitted. “He can’t catch a break. He deserves to have a drink too.”

“Honey, Sehun must be on his third glass of wine already. Give it two or three more glasses and that’s when the party can finally start.”

Kyungsoo felt hesitant when he looked down at the bubbly champagne.

“Mm,” Baekhyun pulled his glass away from his lips, as if he had just remembered something. “Forget about Sehun for a minute and tell me who _that_ is.”

Kyungsoo squinted his eyes in the direction Baekhyun was looking at. It was kind of hard to tell who he was referring to.

“He must be, what? 185? 186? More? He’s taller than Sehun!”

_Oh._

“Oh,” Kyungsoo let out an eloquent sound, now easily locating the man Baekhyun was talking about. “That’s Chanyeol. He’s my friend.” 

“Your friend?” Baekhyun raised an eyebrow. “Like, _friend_ friend or just friend?”

“What?”

“Are you two fucking?”

“What?! No!” Kyungsoo didn’t mean to sound too disgusted, but really. He was. Chanyeol was like a brother to him. A dumb, stupid, idiotic brother. “He’s a _friend_.”

Baekhyun’s smile was suspiciously pleased, as he dropped his own glass in Kyungsoo’s hand.

“Great.”

“Wait-“ Kyungsoo breathed out in defeat when Baekhyun just turned around and walked away towards where Chanyeol was standing with purpose in his step.

Kyungsoo almost groaned out loud,a s he tipped his glass back, the bubbls of the champagne tickling his throat. He brought Baekhyun’s glass to his lips too, downing the remainder of his drink too.

“Great. Fucking great.”

* * *

Surprisingly, Baekhyun had been right. Not much later, Sehun had joined him with a glass of champagne in his hand instead of the pad with tasks. He seemed relaxed now, finally, and Kyungsoo let himself smile.

Finally, no work. Just celebration.

This banquet at the very last day of the year was just as much of a celebration for them as it was for any other employee at VOGUE.

And sure, Kyungsoo was still the odd one, he was still the new one, the weird one.

But at least he had Sehun by his side. At least he had Baekhyun and Wendy and Minseok and Suho. Even Krystal and Seulgi.

Even Jongin.

Kyungsoo found himself enjoying his time there, be it with his own friends or other people from the magazine.

He only caught glimpses of Jongin every now and then, it seemed like his boss could not break free from all those people who wanted to talk to him. For once, not about work. For once, as friends.

There seemed to be a glass in his hand at all times, and his cheeks seemed to be gradually getting rosier every next time Kyungsoo looked in his direction.

It only seemed to get louder and nosier the closer the clock’s arrows neared to midnight. The excitement was growing, new bottles of champagne and wine were being opened, chatter was undying.

It did feel kind of festive, Kyungsoo couldn’t deny.

And the conversations didn’t die, not even with Kyungsoo. There was someone to talk to at all times.

He finally met Wendy and he finally introduced Jongdae to her. Jongdae, being about as big of a nerd as him – even bigger, really – almost died in the spot when he saw her. He froze up for a solid five seconds which Wendy seemed to find adorable, because she just stopped a server and asked him to refill all their glasses.

Kyungsoo’s eyelids were starting to feel heavy at some point because of all that alcohol, his vision – hazy.

He looked around at some point again, towards Jongin.

His cheeks were pink and his eyes were kind of hooded, he could tell even from here. He was talking to a rather old lady with a pretentious feather boa, one of the shareholders, Kyungsoo was pretty sure. Not really a conversation he could get out of.

But he must have sensed that someone was staring at him, because he turned just the slightest bit and his eyes met Kyungsoo’s for a couple long seconds.

Despite the haze, Kyungsoo had never seen anything more clearly – Jongin’s eyes were so beautiful. So gorgeous. Even from far away, his eyes were shining.

A brief smile pulled his lips as he raised his champagne glass in a greeting. Kyungsoo did the same, heart skipping a beat.

And as brief as that moment had been, as timeless, it ended in the blink of an eye.

* * *

The countdown was loud.

There were lights everywhere, and people holding each other with raised glasses and wide smiles.

Sending the old year away, greeting the new one.

Kyungsoo hurried forward to join his friends.

_Ten._

He stood next to Jongdae and Chanyeol.

_Nine._

Baekhyun threw an arm over his shoulders and laughed loudly.

_Eight._

Sehun appeared in front of them with a very rare smile on his face. His hair was dishevelled, and his vest was undone. He looked like he was having fun.

_Seven._

Kyungsoo’s eyes shot up to frantically search the crowd. Wendy wove at him from the side of the room where she was standing with another group of people. Minseok raised his glass at him.

_Six._

His eyes finally stopped on Jongin, who was looking at them distractedly, two hands on his shoulders as some old man talked to him, screaming the countdown in his face.

_Five._

He saw Jongin nodding with a bright smile and then eventually slipping out of the man’s grasp. His legs were long, his steps were quick as he walked towards them with purpose.

_Four._

Someone grasped his hand, holding their hands tightly. Kyungsoo turned around to catch Jongdae very widely smiling at him.

_Three._

Baekhyun let go of him and walked to his other side instead. Sehun placed a hand on his shoulder instead.

_Two._

Kyungsoo gripped his glass tightly, his heart beating loudly. It’s as if everyone was moving together, counting down. He looked back towards the crowd and Jongin who was walking towards them. So close.

_One._

The grip on his hand tightened, Sehun squeezed his shoulder. Jongin stopped right in front of them, kind of breathless.

Kyungsoo smiled.

“Happy New Year!”

The words were lost in the uproar of excited screams, in the sounds of fireworks. The clinking of glasses and excited laughter.

Kyungsoo felt Jongdae patting him on the shoulder twice with his wide, radiant smile.

Baekhyun was kissing Chanyeol, the giant’s hands flailing around as the tiny editor held him by the back of his neck tightly and demandingly. Kyungsoo wasn’t even surprised. His smile, if anything, only widened.

It was when he felt another hand on his shoulder that he straightened again.

An unfamiliar one. A light hand.

Jongin’s touch on his shoulder was somehow comforting, somehow nice and gentle. So foreign, yet so familiar.

Kyungsoo blinked in surprise when he realized Jongin had put one hand on his shoulder and his other hand on Sehun’s shoulder.

His eyes shone with something rather sincere as he looked at both of them and nodded briefly.

“Happy New Year!”

He felt breathless and it had nothing to do with all the screaming.

He felt breathless because Jongin always managed to take his breath away.

Especially now, when he was so close, with his rosy cheeks and red lips and beautiful eyes.

He coulnd’t even form a coherent reply, before Jongin let go of their shoulders and instead reached out to grab a glass of champagne for himself.

He raised it lightly and Kyungsoo took the hint.

The glass clinking together resounded loudly despite all the noise and lingered in his mind just like Jongin’s gaze did when he looked at him in that moment – an unreadable expression, a mysterious smile. Alcohol hazing those beautiful eyes, that shone brighter than any firework in the night sky.

* * *

Kyungsoo had managed to greet all his collegues and to drink about one glass of wine after that.

Jongin, however, had had to greet everybody. His toasts had been endless.

By the time it started nearing 1:30, Kyungsoo spotted his boss, unstable on his feet.

Kyungsoo hesitated for a few seconds, before walking forward. It was, after all, his responsibility to make sure everything was going smoothly at the party. Including his boss.

“Are you okay?” he asked hesitantly when he reached Jongin and the man looked at him with his blurry vision. A small smile pulled his lips and Kyungsoo could tell he had had one drink too many. More than one, really. He had definitely crossed the line of being tipsy a long time ago. He was possibly drunk already.

“Ah! Kyungsoo!” Jongin exclaimed, voice sounding nothing like usual – it was higher, somehow carefree. His words were slurred. “There you are!”

Kyungsoo blinked.

Yes. Definitely drunk.

“It’s getting really late,” Kyungsoo said, his head somehow feeling rather empty. It was like his brain had been squashed. He was distracted. It was unfair to look this good when you were barely able to stand on your feet, yet Jongin somehow still looked like a Greek god. “Do you want me to call your driver?”

“My driver,” Jongin seemed to find that entertaining, because he chuckled, leaning against the bar stool. “My driver. Yes. Yes, call him.”

Kyungsoo immediately pulled his phone out of his pocket, quickly texting the man to find him. He was supposed to be somewhere here.

Thankfully, it was someone who had been working with Jongin for years. The reply came about twenty seconds later. He was going to be waiting downstairs.

“Why do you look so serious, Kyungsoo?” Jongin laughed again, a hearty, entertained giggle and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but feel a little bit intrigued. Was this what drunk Kim Jongin was like? A laughing mess?

Was this Kim Jongin when he finally let go of everything?

“Let’s go,” Kyungsoo said after a while, slightly bowing and pointing the way. Jongin let out some sound, but peeled himself off the chair and started walking.

Kyungsoo had to reach out not even five seconds later to hold on to him, because there was something so unstable about his walk, something so shaky about his steps, that Kyungsoo feared his boss would actually fall.

It was odd, holding on to Kim Jongin’s elbow to make sure he wouldn’t face plant the floor.

His eyes connected with Sehun’s for a brief moment, the first assistant needing roughly about three seconds to figure out what was going on. He just nodded and Kyungsoo kept walking forward with Kim Jongin.

“Tonight was fun,” Jongin said as they entered the long hallway. “All the colors and all the people and all the food and drinks. It was fun, wasn’t it?”

“It was very fun.”

“You had fun, didn’t you?”

“I did,” Kyungsoo mumbled quietly, looking up to meet Kim Jongin’s rather insistent glance. He was staring right at him.

“But we barely talked tonight, Kyungsoo.” Jongin said then and he tripped and Kyungsoo had to dig his fingers in his arms to prevent him from falling. His boss only laughed when they reached the elevators. “Those old geezers. I had to talk to all of them but I didn’t want to.”

Kyungsoo blinked, trying to drive the haziness in his own mind away.

So this night, too, had been work for Jongin. Even tonight.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

Kyungsoo blinked in surprise when he looked at Jongin and the way his boss was still very intensely staring at him. The elevator door opened then and Jongin pointed at it, like a child, and his smile bloomed. He laughed quietly when he entered the elevator and Kyungsoo followed after him.

“You and Sehun,” Jongin said as he leaned against the door and Kyungsoo pressed the button on the elevator. “I wanted to spend more time with you and Sehun and Baekhyun, because you are the closest people I have around here.”

Kyungsoo felt his mouth drying. He was pretty sure a sober Jongin wouldn’t have said those things.

He was pretty sure this wasn’t something he was supposed to be listening to.

He didn’t know what to say.

He felt a weight on his shoulder and looked back at Jongin who was staring at him intently again, a hand reaching out to hold him.

“But I wanted to talk to you most of all,” Jongin said in a quiet, hushed tone. As if he was letting Kyungsoo in on a secret.

“You wanted to talk to me?” Kyungsoo sighed out, eyes flashing towards the number of the floor. “Why?”

“Because you’re so interesting, Kyungsoo.”

His breath hitched at Jongin’s radiating smile. So close to him.

“Kyungsoo,” his boss said then, eyelids fluttering as he spoke his name again. “Kyung. Soo. _Kyungsoo_. Even your name is interesting.”

“Alright,” Kyungsoo blinked quickly as the door of the elevator opened and he hooked at arm under Jongin’s elbow again, keeping him straight. “We’re almost there.”

“Almost where?” Jongin said immediately, before a laugh left his lips. “Oh! Oh, the driver. Right.”

It was silent for a bit as they walked across the lobby towards the massive front doors. Kyungsoo could already see the shiny black car waiting right in front of the entrance.

“Wait!”

Kyungsoo felt a tug on his hand when jongin stopped him right before they went through the door. His boss was standing straight then, and Kyungsoo was reminded of just how tall he actually was as he stared down at him.

“Yes?” Kyungsoo asked, breathless yet again. Kim Jongin was too close. Too close. It didn’t help him think.

Kyungsoo’s heart skipped a beat when he felt soft fingertips on his face. Jongin’s fingers were on his face, brushing his bangs out of his forehead.

And he was so close.

So damn close Kyungsoo could feel his breath on his skin.

Too close.

“Yixing was right,” Jongin said with an eerie chuckle. “You really are beautiful.”

It wasn’t until Jongin’s eyes were too close, way too close for Kyungsoo to even be able to focus ont hem clearly, that he realized that Jongin was leaning in.

It wasn’t until soft lips pressed against his lightly that he realized what was happening.

Jongin kissed him. A very soft peck on his frozen lips and Kyungsoo felt a tremor shaking up his entire body.

Jongin’s fingers tucked the hair behind Kyungsoo’s ear and then his hand moved behind his neck, holding his nape and pulling him closer.

Kyungsoo gasped when Jongin parted his lips. He felt his eyelids fluttering closed.

He could taste the sweet champagne on Jongin’s lips and he could taste something even sweeter.

It wasn’t until he couldn’t breathe at all that he realized what he had done.

He had kissed Jongin back.

He was kissing Jongin back.

His lips moving languidly and lazily against Jongin’s in the dark and empty lobby.

And it was so good, so much better than Kyungsoo would have ever imagined – Jongin’s lips were soft and skilled, moving with purpose and finesse. His breath was hot on his skin and his fingernails were scratching the back of Kyungsoo’s nape lightly.

It was when he felt a hand on his waist pulling him closer when he let out a breath and broke that kiss.

The air cleared his mind, and he looked up, shock feeling his entire body.

When he realized what he had just done, he froze again, hand moving up to his lips.

When he finally remembered where they were and who they were, who Jongin was, Kyungsoo felt another shock running through his body.

He stepped back, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry!” he blurted out and Jongin’s eyes were slightly wider now, slightly clearer than before.

“Kyungsoo-“

“I’m sorry!” Kyungsoo shook his head and lowered his gaze. The sweet taste of champagne and Jongin lingered on his lips and he realized he was shaking lightly when Jongin tried to reach out towards him again. “I-“

“Kyungsoo, it’s really-“

“The driver is waiting for you,” Kyungsoo shut his eyes closed for a moment, hand at the door, pushing it open.

Jongin gave him a look then. He seemed like he had a lot of things to say, and his eyes were shining despite the haze in them.

Yet Kyungsoo couldn’t bring himself to look at him. He just held the door open and waited.

Jongin eventually moved then, just past him.

Kyungsoo pursed his lips when he saw the driver opening the car’s door for Jongin.

His heart was thumping in his chest, his ears were drumming. He coulnd’t believe this.

He could not believe it.

He felt a hand on his wrist, a light brush of warm fingers, just before Jongin would walk away towards the car.

Kyungsoo found the strength to look up at him. His boss’ cheeks were still very much pink, and his eyes were still very much hazy.

He looked like he wanted to say something, like he was searching for the right words.

In the end, he just closed his mouth and Kyungsoo saw his shoulders slumping down.

“Happy New Year, Kyungsoo.”

He didn’t even have the chance to reply – he wasn’t even sure if he would have been able to – because Jongin entered the car then and Kyungsoo was left alone at the lobby of VOGUE, watching the shiny car disappearing on the mostly empty street.

His heart was still erratically beating in his chest, and the feeling of Jongin’s lips against his was burning in his mind.

“Fuck,” he said as he slumped against the elevator’s wall, hands raising up to pull at his hair. “ _Fuck_.”

Jongin had been drunk and Kyungsoo himself was tipsy.

And this had happened. And there was no going back now, no way to erase this from happening.

Kyungsoo’s worries were starting to overflow.

This was so different from any worries he had had so far. He was worried how this would affect his job. If Jongin remembered, would he fire him? Would he hate him for letting this happen? Would he despise him for not stopping it?

Would he lose his job? Would he lose his friends?

His mouth was dry by the time he returned to the floor where the party was still going on.

The air around him wasn’t enough.

All those worries were weighing down on him, yet despite all that he could not get rid of that feeling of softness and warmth on his lips, that sweet taste, those gentle fingers.

Somehow, he couldn’t convince himself that he didn’t like it.

That it was wrong.

Because it wasn’t.

He stopped the first server he saw, grabbing a full glass with some alcohol in it – he couldn’t even tell what it was when he let the liquid burn his throat.

If he couldn’t convince himself, then he would at least make himself forget.

Because he knew he wouldn’t be able to face tomorrow if he didn’t.

And to forget Kim Jongin’s kiss – Kyungsoo was sure he’d need more than just this one glass.

* * *

Kyungsoo felt like absolute shit when he woke up the next morning, a very sharp pain behind his eyes as eh sat up and tried to regulate his breathing. He had a horrible hangover.

“Oh, look!” he heard a deep, husky voice. Chanyeol looked at him with entertained eyes from the chair he was sitting on. “Mariah Carrey’s awake.”

Kyungsoo needed a few moments to process his surroundings. This was not his bed. This was not his house. This was not his living room.

He was in the tiny living room of Jongdae, sleeping on his couch, covered in one of those extra blankets he kept in his wardrobe.

Chanyeol was sitting at the table, a phone in one hand and a fork in the other, as he was wolfing down something that suspiciously looked like scrambled eggs. Kyungsoo would kill for some scrambled eggs right now.

He shut his eyes, trying to dull the headache.

“Mariah Carrey?” he asked, his voice gone. “What?”

“You don’t remember?” Chanyeol scoffed. “You were singing last night at the party. We couldn’t really get you to shut up too. You asked the DJ to play All I Want For Christmas Is You about five times in a row.”

Oh, right. Last night.

The New Year’s Eve party.

Kyungsoo let out a breath and rubbed his face, trying to get his brain to function. It was not complying.

Everything was a haze. Everything in his mind form last night was blurry.

There were some blurry images of him singing, of Baekhyun and Wendy joining him, of people filming with their phones. Kyungsoo almost groaned. Great, now he wasn’t only the odd one, he was the embarrassing one too.

“You got real drunk,” Jongdae appeared from the kitchen, carrying another plate with scrambled eggs and a glass of water. He brought them straight to Kyungsoo. An angel, truly. “WE had to drag you out, you were barely walking. I haven’t seen you that drunk since first year in college.”

“Yeah. You were crying in the car,” Chanyeol supplied not so helpfully. “You were trying to convince us the ending of Titanic was the saddest thing you’ve ever witnessed.”

Kyungsoo had no memory of that. He didn’t know if CHanyeol was fucking with him or if he really had gotten drunk to the point he coulnd’t remember it.

What he did remember was someone vaguely crying. Now that he thought of it, that might have been him.

He vaguely remembered talking to Sehun and Baekhyun, he remembered laughter and joy and-

His eyes widened as he looked at his friends.

He remembered a kiss.

He remembered Jongin’s face so close to his and he remembered their lips pressing together.

“Oh god,” Kyungsoo whispered quietly, hands clutching his face together, as he tried to shake reality away. “Oh god, no. No, no, no.”

“Chill, I agree. It’s a sad movie.”

“No, not the damn movie!” Kyungsoo snapped, feeling his hands shake.

“Are you OK?” Jongdae asked with squinted eyes. “You look mental.”

Kyungsoo’s breathing was becoming irregular as that memory took a more vivid image in his mind, as it became clearer. Out of everything last night, this was the clearest memory he had.

“I kissed Jongin last night.”

There was silence for a total of five seconds in which Chanyeol and Jongdae shared a confused look, then looked at him inquiringly. Kyugnsoo shook his head.

“I mean, he kissed me. And then I kissed him. And-…fuck, this is bad.”

Chanyeol and jongdae looked like cartoon characters as they looked at each other again, looking rather lost.

“Why?” Jongdae asked and Kyungsoo shot his eyes up to glare at him.

“ _Why_?! Because-…because he’s Kim Jongin! He’s my _boss_.” Kyungsoo probably looked just as exasperated as he felt. “You can’t just…go around kissing your boss, that’s not…that’s not right!”

“Why?” Chanyeol asked now, looking rather confused. “I mean, the way I see it it’s just two people kissing. Besides, you did say he kissed you first, so…”

“You don’t get it,” Kyungsoo felt himself deflating. “You just don’t get it. He is the same guy that I work for all day, every day. Not with, for. My work depends on him, if he so much as wishes to fire me, he can. And I let that happen, I let him kiss me. Now I feel cheap and dirty and pathetic, alright?”

Chanyeol frowned and Jongdae just kept staring at him. Kyungsoo sighed out.

“He’s the same guy that has despised me since the moment I walked in there for the first time.”

Jongdae was the one who stood up and gave him a hard look. A very level-headed one.

“Hey, knock it off. It’s not your fault if he kissed you first, so there’s no need to stress so much about it. It was just a kiss, and he was probably drunk and so were you. So forget about it, because I’m not going to stand here and watch my best friend lose nerve cells because of something as stupid as that, alright?” Jongdae said, raising an eyebrow and folding his hands in front of his chest. “Besides, if we’re talking about the same Kim Jongin here, he didn’t look like he despised you. At all. Quite on the contrary, actually.”

Kyungsoo opened his mouth, ready to fire a thousand questions, but Jongdae just gave him a look again.

“Now eat your damn eggs.”

* * *

Even Sehun noticed something was off with Kyungsoo the next day when he showed up at work.

“What is wrong with you?” Sehun frowned at him at some point in the morning. “You keep fidgeting in your seat. It’s distracting.”

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo mumbled, forcefully willing his legs to still down and stop tapping on the ground.

Sehun’s frown just deepened.

“And now you just look constipated. Knock it off.”

The truth was, Kyungsoo kept rehearsing his speech in his head.

He kept repeating the same words over and over, dreading the moment Jongin would walk through the glass doors of the office. Dreading the moment he’d have to face his boss.

He wasn’t going to make excuses. He was going to talk about it as it was – it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t his fault at all. And if Jongin was unhappy with it, then he had himself to blame first and foremost. He had been the one to kiss him. Not him.

Kyungsoo took in a deep breath, as he tried to concentrate on his work – arranging all the information from the last run through in a neat file that needed to be handed over to Jongin for the meeting with the editors later.

He also needed to note down all urgent messages and inform Jongin about them and _god_ -

Why did everything have to involve Jongin?

When Kyungsoo was so desperately trying to avoid him, why did he have to spend so much time with him?

He was equal parts distraught and irritated, as he kept chanting his speech mentally and as he continued arranging the sheets.

It was about half an hour later when the door to the office finally opened and before he even looked up, he heard the voices.

“-so I told her to cancel it, right? But she insists on including the feature.” Baekhyun was saying with a heated tone to Jongin, who was soaking up every word. He was wearing very heavy coat, long and mysterious, and a scarf was wrapped around his neck. “I told her it would definitely not be included in the edition because it just doesn’t fit anywhere, but she won’t listen to me. She wants to change the pictorial too and we can’t do that. Everything is ready for print, we can’t edit anything anymore.”

“I see,” Jongin said as they stopped in the middle of the office and Kyungsoo stood up from his chair in the same time Sehun did – both ready to grab the coat and put it away. “Is there a reason she wants to change it?”

“Other than her being a crazy witch?” Baekhyun popped his signature lollipop in his mouth, before shrugging. “No.”

Jongin scoffed, the action seemingly elegant when he performed it.

Kyugnsoo felt tense when his boss looked at him then.

And everything on his expression changed.

It changed from amused bewilderment to something else – he closed his mouth, those plush lips pursing together. His eyes were shining, but unreadable. He just stared at him a few seconds.

And Kyungsoo’s breath hitched.

Jongin knew. Jongin remembered.

Kyungsoo too, pursed his lips and stared back. He didn’t look away.

He didn’t even move as Jongin took one step closer to his desk and kept staring at him. The shining in his eyes intensified.

“Kyungsoo,” his boss started and Kyungsoo felt a shiver running through his body at the sound of his name being spoken by that godly person in front of him. He tensed too. Was Jongin going to start talking about it now? In front of Sehun and Baekhyun. He readied himself to be humiliated. Jongin, however, just put his coat at the corner of Kyungsoo;s desk and started rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. “Call the editors for an urgent meeting. I want them all in the conference room in fifteen minutes. Confirm my reservation for tonight. Is there anything important?”

Kyungsoo looked at Jongin straight in the eyes again.

_Say it._

Jongin’s eyes shone.

_Say it._

Jongin raised his eyebrow expectantly. Almost daringly.

_Say it!_

Kyungsoo pursed his lips and shook his head lightly.

“No. Nothing.”

Kyungsoo watched the way Jongin’s lips relaxed and the way his shoulders slumped down the tiniest bit.

He looked, for all the world, disappointed.

“Very well.”

Jongin straightened up then, running a hand through his hair and giving Kyungsoo one last unreadable look, before jugging his chin towards Baekhyun.

“Let’s go.”

Kyungsoo slumped down in his chair when the editors escaped the office, all words from his speech vanishing from his mind.

He was tired suddenly. So tired.

“I’ll call the editors,” Sehun said from his desk. “You do the reservation. And hang his coat.”

Kyungsoo nodded absentmindedly, hating the fact that the heavy coat in his arms was soft and that it smelled like Jongin.

He hurried to put it away in the wardrobe, his hand sliding against the wood.

Maybe ignoring it was the best decision, after all.

Ignore the problem until it disappears.

Kyungsoo breathed out heavily. He could do that.

* * *

It was the last work day of the week in the afternoon, it was nearing 5pm and Jongin was still in his office, Kyungsoo could see his light was still on. It was silent.

Sehun was typing up some documents and Kyungsoo was absentmindedly clicking through different files on their shared server.

“Sehun?”

Jongin’s voice was quiet and Kyungsoo perked up in the same time Sehun shot up from his seat to stand by the arch that lead to Jongin’s office.

“Go down to PR and ask Yuri about the documents for the collaboration with that singer. Did the other company approve the photoshoot location?”

“Taeyeon for the February edition or Jennie for the March one?”

“March.”

“Alright.”

Kyungsoo watched on as Sehun flashed out of the room, the glass door slowly shutting closed behind hima s he disappeared down the hallway.

“Kyungsoo.”

Jongin’s voice was quiet, yet Kyungsoo could hear him calling for him even so. He pursed his lips, as he pushed himself up from his chair. His footsteps sounded way too loud in the quiet office.

He halted at the door, hands uselessly and awkwardly flailing around until he brought them together in front of himself, around the notebook.

Jongin wasn’t looking up at him, he was too immersed in the papers he was going through, the desk light throwing an eerie light on his face. He was glowing, even after all those hours at work.

“Yes?”

“Did you clear my schedule for next Wednesday?”

Kyungsoo blinked quickly.

“Sorry, what?”

Jongin flashed a look up to him then. There were glasses on his nose, sliding down as he looked at him over them.

“My schedule. For the 13th. Did you clear it?”

Kyungsoo raked his brain, trying to remember such orders from earlier that day. What was on the 13th?

He could feel the crease between his eyebrows forming, as he looked at Jongin again.

And then it hit him.

“Oh!” he let out a sound. “Oh, I-“

“You didn’t?”

Kyungsoo closed his mouth then, looking back at Jongin who had raised an eyebrow. Just one. There was a tiny smirk playing on his lips.

He did not look angry or annoyed, just entertained. Kyungsoo took in a deep breath to calm himself down.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you still wanted to go after-…”

“After what?”

“After New Year’s Eve.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to go?”

Jongin’s gaze was daring and Kyungsoo felt small under his boss’ expectant eyes. It was very much clear that he remembered, it was very much clear that he knew exactly what Kyungsoo was talking about.

His cheeks were burning. He didn’t have the words, there was suddenly a lump forming in his throat. His palms were starting to sweat.

Jongin seemed to notice how frozen he was, because he raised a hand to pull his glasses off his face and he put all the papers down.

“You invited me, Kyungsoo, and I still want to go. What happened at New Year’s Eve is completely unrelated to this. If it does make you feel uncomfortable, however, and if you no longer wish to go with me, I will understand and respect that. I will return the ticket and you can invite someone else to join you that night.”

Kyungsoo felt like lightning had struck him, the connection between brain and tongue evaporating.

He felt his mouth drying, as he shook his head.

“It’s-…it’s not that. I _want_ you to go with me.” Kyungsoo said, immediately regretting what he had said. He shook his head. “It’s just…you made a mistake at New Year’s Eve. We both did. And I just thought that you-…regretted what happened that night.”

Nothing followed. No screaming, no nagging. No backhanded comments, no scoffs or laughs.

Nothing.

Kyungsoo looked up hesitantly to see Jongin was just silently staring at him with lightly raised eyebrows and that same shine in his deep eyes.

When their eyes connected, Jongin’s lips parted lightly and he relaxed his face, grabbing the pen from his desk again.

“Clear my schedule,” his boss said in his soft, velvety voice and Kyungsoo felt shivers running up his spine. “Tell Sehun he can leave earlier on Wednesday too.”

Kyungsoo needed a few moments to process this, his hands still shaking lightly, his heart thundering in his chest.

“Alright.”

“Kyungsoo?”

“Yes?”

His voice sounded squeaky when he turned around just before escaping Jongin’s office. The man behind the desk was looking at him with his soft eyes again, expression much softer than before. There was a mysterious, little smile on his lips.

“The only regret I have is that _you_ regret it.”

Kyungsoo felt a pang in his chest as he stared at Jongin. At the way those brown eyes twinkled, before the editor returned to his papers.

Kyungsoo barely dragged himself out of the room, leaning against the wall for support as soon as he was out of Jongin’s sight.

The only regret…

His breath hitched, as he processed those words. As he let them play out in his brain again and again.

_The only regret I have is that you regret it._

Kyungsoo let out a shuddering breath, pressing a hand to his chest, trying to control his heart.

He flashed a look towards the light streaming from Jongin’s office and his lips felt tingly. He remembered the kiss, he remembered Jongin’s hand on his face.

He remembered it all.

And he did not regret it.

Not one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello! First of all, a late Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates! I hope your holidays were nice!
> 
> Now, this chapter…I wrote over 10k words and there was a lot more to be written, but I realized it would be over 15k words if I posted it at once, so that’s why I’m going to separate it. I don’t know, man. This chapter tortured me a lot, I had a lot of worries about what to write and what would seem fitting. I hope I didn’t mess it up sljgfgh I posted this first, I’ll add the second part of the chapter as soon as I have the time to finish it!
> 
> And speaking of that, I’d like to address something that’s been going on lately. I have been getting a lot of very demanding and sometimes even rude comments, asking me where I’ve been, what I’ve been doing, why I have not been updating. As some of you maybe know, or don’t, I’m a university student. And I travel a lot. And I have exams and I work and I am generally Very Busy. It’s hard for me to consistently find time to write updates, but I still try doing it as much as I can.
> 
> That’s why I’d like to ask you to consider that before asking me for updates. I am busy, yet I still try. I know, and I appreciate the fact that there’s so many of you looking forward to it, and I do try to work on updates as often as I can, but at times it’s just impossible. So keep that in mind. Thank you.
> 
> With that being said, as promised, I’ll try to post the next chapter in the first few days of January! I hope you will have happy holidays and that you’ll have fun during the last few days of 2018~
> 
> Let me know what you think of this chapter and I’ll see you soon ^^
> 
> If you want to talk to me, you can hmu on twitter @jongnugget :)  
> 


	8. Chapter 8

08

 

Kyungsoo was in a rather good mood when he woke up at 6am that day to get ready for work.

It was a good day, and he supposed he had a reason to wear that obnoxiously fancy shirt Baekhyun gave him some weeks ago because apparently they were done with it after some photoshoot and he still hadn’t had the guts to try on. He paired it up with tight jeans and those new shoes he got himself for Christmas. His heart still ached, it was the first time he had purchased shoes for over 200$ for himself. He supposed it was worth it, though. It looked good.

He looked good.

The ride in the subway to the office was unusually calm. Normally, Sehun would have called him about a thousand times by now to make sure he was coming and to make sure he hadn’t forgotten any of his hundreds of routine tasks.

But today was good, and despite the snow and the fact that he had to bury his nose in his scarf to keep it warm, it was nice.

It was just five minutes before 7 when he escaped the elevator and Sehun still hadn’t called him. Not even once. A hint of worry crawled up Kyungsoo’s chest as he hurried down the white hallways of VOGUE.

He furrowed his eyebrows when he spotted a few figures in the office already. Sehun’s face was unnaturally red as he was blowing a balloon. Seulgi was right next to him, tying them. Wendy and Baekhyun were leaning over his desk.

Kyungsoo could feel the groan forming before he even pushed the door open.

He wondered what Jongin had come up with now to have all these people so busy this early in the morning. He wondered if he’d have to blow balloons with Sehun. That would be bad. He sucked at blowing balloons.

He contained the sigh, before finally entering the office silently.

Before he could ask what was going on, Sehun whipped his head – a long trained reflex. Maybe he was expecting Jongin. He always did.

Sehun looked kind of surprised to see him standing there, because he momentarily forgot about the balloon between his lips. He opened his mouth and the balloon flew away with a wheezing sound.

“You’re here already?” Sehun asked, attracting the attention of others.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Baekhyun hissed, moving his body around clumsily. Kyungsoo could hear hushed whispers and then he saw Wendy’s nervous smile.

He furrowed his eyebrows.

“What’s going on here?”

Baekhyun finally moved then, away from his desk. He brought a little cake in front of himself, with two lit up candles. The third one, Wendy was still struggling with.

“Happy birthday!”

Kyungsoo blinked at the sight of Baekhyun’s enthusiastic smile and the little cake in his hands, with now three functioning candles. Wendy was grinning beside him as well, yelling out an equally loud ‘happy birthday’.

Kyungsoo’s brain froze.

He hadn’t been expecting this. Out of all people in the world, he hadn’t expected his co-workers to do this for him.

His eyes flashed from one corner of the room to the other. From where Wendy and Baekhyun were holding the little cake, to sweet Seulgi smiling and waving at him with a balloon and Sehun holding on to his own throat and breathing heavily, barely managing to smile. His face was still red.

The warmth that started spreading inside him felt heavenly. He started feeling jittery, as his brain finally processed this – all of it.

 “Oh-” he let out a breath.

He watched Baekhyun’s eyes narrowing slightly.

“He’s not reacting. Why is he not reacting?” he squinted. “It’s today, right? We didn’t get the day wrong?”

Kyungsoo blinked quickly, before shaking his head.

“No! No, not it’s not that. It’s just-…I’m overwhelmed.” Kyungsoo laughed quietly. “I wasn’t expecting anything.”

Baekhyun’s face quickly morphed into a triumphant grin, as he jugged his chin at the cake.

“Well, come on then. The wish won’t make itself.”

Kyungsoo let out an astonished breath, as he took a few steps forward, holding on the carton box supporting the cake.

He felt excited, and he was happy. Today wasn’t only good, it was great.

He could sense nothing but fondness in hi own gaze as he looked at his co-workers, at his friends.

Wendy cheered loudly when he blew out the candles, and she was the first one to jump and hug him. Seulgi gave him a shy bow and Kyungsoo took it upon himself to shake her hand gently and thank her.

“I’ll go get a knife and plates,” Wendy announced and Seulgi followed after her.

“Well then,” Baekhyun hummed, shoving a bag in Kyungsoo’s chest. “Happy birthday. You better wear those.”

Kyungsoo looked down into the fancy plastic bag curiously, seeing white and black fabric.

“What is it?”

“Just some items from my newest collection,” the designer said with a dismissive wave of his hand, as he returned to his desk. Only now did Kyungsoo see the bottles. “It’s still not out. The collection, I mean. So feel free to feel flattered.”

Kyungsoo let out a chuckle and shook his head. He wrapped his fingers tightly around the present.

“Thank you, Baek.”

Kyungsoo felt a little poke on his side as he was taking his coat off.

He turned around to look at Sehun handing him a bag with a stylish ribbon on top of it. He was kind of avoiding his eyes.

“Here,” the first assistant said chicly. “Happy birthday.”

Kyungsoo barely suppressed the smile. He looked down at the package instead. Sehun shrugged.

“It’s nothing special,” he said. “But I remembered how you showed up with your old briefcase the first time we met, so I thought I’d get you a new one. A _good_ one.”

Kyungsoo almost scoffed. Almost. Talk about snarky. He had learned to love that about Sehun above all.

Besides, no matter what the younger one said, actions spoke louder. He had remembered something important to Kyungsoo, he had thought about giving him a meaningful present. That was nice of him.

Kyungsoo refrained himself from ruffling his hair, because it was all styled and he would risk losing an arm if he did that. He did, however, reach out to pat Sehun’s shoulder.

“Thank you. Really.”

Wendy and Seulgi returned then, with a few plates, a knife, different forks and plastic cups. Baekhyun exclaimed excitedly, as he grabbed the cups and brought them to Kyungsoo’s desk where those colourful bottles were lined up.

He started mixing stuff and Kyungsoo eyed the cocktails carefully, wondering how Baekhyun had so much energy.

They made Kyungsoo cut the cake, and he did. He ended up with frosting on his nose and a laughing Wendy by his side. Sehun escaped her reach as soon as whipped cream started landing on people’s faces.

“There you go,” Baekhyun sneaked in, presenting one of the plastic cups in front of Kyungsoo’s face. “Consider this a dowry. In exchange for your cute friend’s number.”

Kyungsoo scoffed.

“I don’t have cute friends.”

“Excuse you, _I_ am your friend and I am fucking cute.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes, throwing an arm over his shoulder. “You know who I’m talking about. Tall, muscular. Cute face. Big hands. Like, big. Really big.”

Kyungsoo pulled his lips back in a mock-grimace as he got out of Baekhyun’s grip.

“Okay, first of all – disgusting. Second of all, his name’s Chanyeol. And third of all, you spent the entire New Year’s Eve sucking faces with him and you didn’t even think of asking for his number?”

Baekhyun grinned.

“I was too busy sucking faces with him to think about such trivial matters.”

Kyungsoo took the plastic cup from Baekhyun’s hands.

“I’m meeting him tonight. I’ll ask him if he’s cool with it,” Kyungsoo shrugged, giving Baekhyun an examining look. “Or you could join us, if you want. And you can ask him yourself.”

Baekhyun’s smirk was sly and triumphant.

“Perfect.”

Kyungsoo spent most of the morning with his friends in the office, eating badly cut cake and drinking slowly. Completely ignoring his computer.

_It’s fine_ , Sehun had said earlier as Kyungsoo kept sending glances to his desk _, I came in earlier today. Answered all emails. We’re good_.

So he let himself fully relax for once, enjoying the time with his friends. It was him today – the center of attention of all these people he had initially considered all arrogant and snobby. Now, however, he couldn’t believe he had ever thought that in the first place. Not when he knew how caring and dedicated they were, how determined and ambitious.

Not when he knew he had become one of them.

Time seemed to fly by when they were just talking and enjoying themselves.

No one seemed to notice the arrows on the clock flying, no one seemed to notice the sun rising higher and higher up in the sky.

No one seemed to notice the way the door had opened behind them.

Not until a very quiet cough interrupting their laughter.

Kyungsoo startled, turning around to face Jongin and the way he was looking at all of them with slightly raised eyebrows.

He didn’t seem impressed. Not one bit. The last thing he had been expecting, most probably, was to see his employees slacking majorly like this.

“I see today is already a _very_ efficient day.” Jongin said, voice calm and expression unreadable.

Kyungsoo felt his throat constricting and his heart painfully thumping against his chest as he pursed his lips together.

His boss looked at each and every one of them slowly, with a measuring gaze, before he shot a gaze to the desk with half a cake on it and colourful glasses and bottles on top of, what Kyungsoo sincerely hoped wasn’t the case, paperwork.

“I assume all work for today’s done then,” Jongin said coolly then, shrugging his coat off his shoulders and laying it on Kyungsoo’s desk. He raised an eyebrow at all of them. “That would be the only valid excuse for drinking at 9.”

Kyungsoo was absolutely frozen in his place. Sehun seemed pale, absolutely stressed, as he tried to hide his cup behind a pencil holder. 

Baekhyun was the first one who moved. He picked up a paper cup.

“Chill, will you?” the designer said, handing the cup over to Jongin. “Unlike me, those margaritas are virgins.”

Kyungsoo threw a side glance to Baekhyun, and heard Wendy’s unamused scoff. Jongin just squinted his eyes, but took the cup from Baekhyun’s fingers anyways. He eyed the cocktail suspiciously, before glancing up at them again.

“What is this all about?”

“Kyungsoo’s birthday, of course!” Baekhyun replied brightly, in a tone that made it seem like it was obvious.

Kyungsoo’s breath hitched when Jongin’s eyes fixated on him immediately, something bright sparkling in those unreadable eyes of his. He lips parted briefly in surprise. He blinked a couple of times, before running his tongue over his lips, composing himself.

Kyungsoo felt relief bubbling in his chest when Baekhyun spoke up again, a hand finding its way around his shoulders. He didn’t think he could have handled Jongin staring at him any longer. Not now. Not anymore.

“We decided to throw him a little surprise party. He’s been working so hard, so we wanted to do something. And with his birthday, it was just the perfect opportunity.” Baekhyun smiled. “And I get to showcase my amazing bartender skills.”

“The office is not the place to be showcasing those skills.”

“Oh, shut up, you Grinch,” Baekhyun narrowed his eyes playfully at a still very serious Jongin. “Try the margarita first and then speak.”

“I am not going to-“

“I said, try it.” Baekhyun insisted, the playfulness gone from his voice. Kyungsoo couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but there was something harder in his gaze. “Forget about work and enjoy life for a moment, will you?”

Baekhyun stared Jongin down then, his eyes surprisingly serious and his lips pursed in a thin line, as he took Jongin’s piercing gaze.

Then, to Kyungsoo’s utter surprise, Jongin looked away first. He let out a breath and blinked quickly.

“Right,” he said eventually, clearing his throat. His fingers curled around the plastic cup and the cocktail almost overflowed. He turned to Kyungsoo then, kind of avoiding his eyes as he spoke. “Happy birthday.”

Kyungsoo opened his mouth to thank him, but no sound came out. Instead, he settled for nodding once. Then once again, just for good measure.

Jongin’s tongue ran over his lower lip again, slowly, in thought. Baekhyun seemed a bit more relaxed now. Wendy was smiling like the angel she was, trying to keep the atmosphere light.

“So, I read your interview in Esquire,” she said, tipping her glass towards Jongin. “I’m pretty sure it was edited, though. Some of the things in there don’t sound like you.”

“Should we run damage control?” Sehun immediately asked, straightening up and trying to redeem himself. “I can call the lawyers.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes flashed from Sehun to Jongin.

His boss was looking at him, with that same shine in his eyes, behind the unreadable haze that didn’t let Kyungsoo in on any of Jongin’s thoughts.

He ended up shaking his head.

“No,” he said. “No, it’s fine.”

“But if it’s-“

“I said it’s fine, Sehun,” Jongin said, forcing a smile. He took a few sips from Baekhyun’s drink, before setting it on the desk and absentmindedly nodding. “I can deal with it myself. Don’t worry about it. Not today.”

Kyungsoo’s mouth opened lightly as he saw Jongin approaching his desk where he had put the coat earlier, and the way he picked it up. He brought it over to the wardrobe in the corner, hanging it there by himself.

He started rolling up his sleeves on his way to the arched doorway to his office.

“Seulgi,” Jongin addressed the girl who immediately perked up. “You can pass by the wardrobe after you guys are done here, since you’re already in the building. Krystal told me the outfits for your photoshoot next week arrived, you can try them on and see if anything needs to be taken in.”

“Alright!” she said readily in the same time Kyungsoo heard Baekhyun sighing out. He saw him shaking his head in disappointment when Jongin put a hand on the wall and looked at them again.

“If anybody calls, just redirect them to my office.”

“At least come and have some cake, asshole.”

Kyungsoo blinked quickly at Baekhyun’s direct and unamused offence. Jongin’s lips just pulled back in a half smirk.

His eyes flashed towards Kyungsoo quickly then, amused and – was that a hint of regret? – apologetic.

“Maybe later.”

Kyungsoo let out a breath when Jongin disappeared behind the arched doorway and left the four of them alone by the desks. He looked down at his drink and sighed, thankful for Wendy’s ever cheerful chatter keeping him occupied

The office felt empty later, when Kyungsoo and Sehun were left alone with dirty plates, deflating balloons and no emails and calls to answer.

Jongin did not come out for cake the entire day and Kyungsoo’s sighs seemed to only become more frequent every time he looked up to the arched doorway and it remained empty.

* * *

The day had been languid and boring after that, him and Sehun not daring to move away from their desks – not when they knew that their boss was still in his office, working. A few other colleagues from other departments had passed by to wish him a happy birthday. Kyungsoo had just absentmindedly thanked them, eyes flicking to the arched doorway not far away from them.

It was when the sun started setting and Kyungsoo’s shoulders slumped even more, when Jongin finally appeared at said arch, looking just as perfect as he had looked hours ago with his tousled hair and sharp angles of his face and soft curves of his lips. Kyungsoo let out a shattered breath he didn’t even know he had been holding in, as he straightened up in his seat.

Jongin raised his hand to run his fingers through his hair, messing it up even more and somehow ending up looking even better. His sleeves were still rolled up and when Kyungsoo looked closely, he saw the dark circles under the man’s eyes – barely visible, but there.

“It’s getting late,” Jongin said, his honey voice the only thing to be heard in the quiet office, eyes flashing from Sehun towards him. “You probably have plans for tonight, don’t you?”

Kyungsoo just pursed his lips together, eyes darting towards the clock. Chanyeol and Jongdae would be waiting for him soon enough.

Jongin’s expression was knowing, as he nodded.

“You can go then.” Jongin said, voice sounding a bit tired. “Both of you.”

“But-“

“It’s fine, Sehun. I’ll manage.”

Kyungsoo looked towards the first assistant – they exchanged a very uncertain, a very confused look, before Kyungsoo breathed out again.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” Jongin smiled, finally, for the first time today and Kyungsoo didn’t want to feel all that relief flooding his chest, but he did. Jongin smiled, and somehow, everything was suddenly better. “Go have fun.”

Kyungsoo found it hard to form an eloquent reply for a few seconds, his head bopping down in something akin to a nod.

“I-…thank you.”

Jongin’s eyes shone with something, as he looked at him one last time, before straightening.

“And don’t forget, we’re only working until 4 tomorrow.”

Kyungsoo’s heart fluttered in his chest, again, and he could do nothing but contain the amused smile that threatened to bloom on his lips.

He watched as Jongin turned around, his backside just as beautiful and elegant as everything else about him. He wove his hand dismissively before disappearing back into his office.

“Go now. I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

And then it was just him and Sehun in the room, with Kyunsgoo’s heart uncomfortably jumping in his chest. Because, maybe, Jongin really cared, behind that hard and high façade. Behind the untouchable mask of power and authority, influence and impact, he was just a man.

A good one.

Kyungsoo shot his eyes up towards Sehun. The first assistant was looking at him with slightly raised eyebrows.

_Let’s go_ , he mouthed, and Kyungsoo nodded.

Chanyeol and Jongdae really would be waiting for him soon, and he still had to go and drag Baekhyun out of his office.

He pushed his chair back and finally stood up, throwing one last look towards the arched doorway.

_Tomorrow_.

His lips curled up at the thought, anticipation, fright and absolute excitement filling his entire body.

* * *

Kyungsoo could see his breath in the air. It was cold.

He shoved his hands deeper in the rather light coat’s pockets, trying to at least get some warmth. Some semblance of warmth. Any. That’s what he deserved for dressing like this. Just for the sake of looking good he was now freezing.

His shoulders were tense as he stepped from one foot on another, moving around just to keep warm.

And he waited.

The traffic on the street was heavy, there were tons of people on the sidewalks. Tens of people walking in and out of the tall, shiny building behind him.

Standing in front of it, standing in front of VOGUE’s headquarters like this, all alone – nothing but a mere human in front of that massive monument of power and influence – he felt intimidated. Even though he spent the majority of his time in this building it still surprised him every time he saw it.

He was lucky. Lucky to have this opportunity.

A particularly hard blow of wind in his face made him shiver. He couldn’t feel the tip of his nose anymore.  He threw a quick look towards the clock above the entrance.

4:42.

Sehun was long gone, leaving the moment the clock struck four. He had made plans with his friends, for the first time in ages possibly. Kyungsoo couldn’t blame him for taking the chance right away.

And Jongin was already twelve minutes late. Kyungsoo sighed out. It wasn’t much, but the winter was harsh, the wind – unforgiving, the chill – freezing.

Utter relief filled his entire body within a second, when he saw the black SUV with the dark windows coming from around the corner.

Relief and excitement, anticipation.

Anxiety, too. Worries. Stress.

He breathed in deeply as the car stopped in its rightful spot right in front of the building’s entrance. Right in front of him.

The door opened, and Jongin stepped out confidently. With poise and elegance.

If VOGUE, with its impressive building and thousands of employees, was a kingdom, then Jongin was its king. And the king was now looking at him, the harsh wind blowing his hair. Despite that, his lips pulled back in a smile – small and entrancing.

Kyungsoo’s breath hitched. He couldn’t help it. He never could.

“I’m late,” Jongin stated. “Sorry. I had to take care of something before coming.”

It was enough of a sacrifice for Jongin to free half of his work day. Half of their work day, really. It was already more than anything Kyungsoo had ever expected. He just shook his head.

“It’s alright.”

“Everything upstairs is settled?” Jongin asked, a quirk of his eyebrow and Kyungsoo nodded.

“All emails are answered, everything for the run through tomorrow is ready. The appointment with Suho is rescheduled to 10am on Friday and-“

“A simple _yes_ would have been enough,” Jongin interrupted him with a smile, as he opened the door of the car wider. “Come on, it’s cold out here. You must be freezing.”

Kyungsoo’s heart was constricting in his chest, as he took the few steps forward, closer to Jongin and the door of the car that his boss was holding open for him. He took a deep breath as he entered the vehicle, the familiar leather seats just as comfortable as they had been last time.

Only when Jongin entered the car after him and it was just the two of them back there did Kyungsoo realize what he was doing and how he was not ready for it.

Because when Jongin was sitting so close to him, hair unruly from the wind and those deep eyes piercing through him, those plush lips parted, looking so soft and inviting – that’s when Kyungsoo realized that in front of Jongin, he felt so small. So intimidated by all that power and beauty.

A struck by admiration peasant, so very far away from the level of someone fitting to be with a king.

Yet Jongin was looking at him with that faint, comfortable smile on his lips – a look filled with  curiosity and interest.

A look so very different from the one Kyungsoo would see daily in the building of VOGUE. Something so very new.

Jongin was looking at him like they were equal.

And maybe, here and now, they were.

Kyungsoo smiled, relaxing in the seat, as the car’s engine purred quietly, and they started moving down the busy streets of Seoul.

* * *

Kyungsoo had only seen ballet plays a couple times in his life – local theatres with small, cramped seats. This theatre, however, was glamorous. The hall they walked in was breathtaking – all red velvet and gold ornaments and decorations. It looked like a place out of a movie. And the seats Jongin had bought were amazing. Merely numbers and letters on the tickets to Kyungsoo at first, but when they walked inside the beautiful theatre, Kyungsoo realized they weren’t just any seats. They had box seats.

A room for just the two of them, away from the rest of the audience. His eyes had widened in awe as he took in the sight from that place in the theatre.

And that was only the first of many, many surprises.

Kyungsoo knew next to nothing about ballet, but when the lights in the theatre dimmed and the spotlight shone on the stage, when the play actually _started_ – he couldn’t really look away. Not for even one moment.

He was so immersed in it, so engaged by the intensity and complexity of the dance, by the simplicity and the beauty of the performance. It was rather breath taking.

He had almost forgotten about Jongin standing by his side. His boss, too, had stilled down when the dancers started appearing on the stage. He, too, had started watching intently, with a longing glint in his eyes.

He’s throw a glance towards him from time to time, just to see that perfect face partially lit from the stage lights, partially hidden by flickering shadows. That face – it was also breath taking.

Everything about the ballet was perfect – the music, the dancing, the acting. Kyungsoo could feel his face aching with a smile he couldn’t contain, he could feel his hands gripping the railing of the box as the children appeared on the stage, dressed as mice, and as they started performing along with the other ballerinas. He heard Jongin’s light, affectionate chuckle beside him. He didn’t know if it was the play or that quiet sound of Jongin’s laughter warming his heart up.

The music got intense and Kyungsoo’s breath hitched when the nutcracker stabbed the mouse king. As the stage emptied and instead, a calmer tune filled the theatre. As the ballerinas in white, majestic dresses started dancing. The Snowflakes.

Kyungsoo had to blink a couple of times, when the curtain dropped and the lights came back to life, as the people in the seats below them started buzzing.

“Entr’act,” Jongin said and Kyungsoo turned to look at him. His boss was already staring at him, a little smile on his face. Kyungsoo’s heart skipped a beat.

French. Of all things Jongin could have done, he started speaking French while looking like _that_.

Perfect face, styled hair, a simple dress shirt tucked neatly in straight pants. Rather simple clothes, yet elegant and so beautifully looking. Kyungsoo had no doubt they were yet another series of brand names.

“We have twenty minutes before the second act,” Jongin said, looking at him again. “Do you want to stay here or do you want to go outside?”

“I-…I don’t know. Do _you_ want to go outside? We can go.”

Jongin looked down, his cheeks riding up from his smile. He shook his head very lightly, but Kyungsoo didn’t miss it.

“I asked you, Kyungsoo. What do _you_ want to do?”

Kyungsoo let out a ragged breath, eyes shooting towards the stage. They had twenty minutes, and then another fifty minutes of act two. He bit on the inside of his cheek, before looking back in Jongin’s direction.

“The restroom,” Kyungsoo mumbled quietly and Jongin just raised an eyebrow. “I need to go to the restroom.”

“Alright,” Jongin said, finally standing up from his wide seat. “Let’s go.”

It was harder to escape the hall. Everyone was hurrying – people hurrying to the snack bar, others rushing to the restrooms. Some were pulling lighters and cigarettes from their pockets, hurrying to the front of the building to have a drag before the second act would start.

“I’ll wait for you here,” Jongin said, leaning against a pillar in the lobby, and Kyungsoo could feel the blush slowly crawling its way up to his cheeks as he nodded stiffly. He hurried forward to the restrooms.

Thankfully, the line in the men’s toilets wasn’t as long as the one at the women’s. He hurried, still feeling his heart doing leaps in his chest, all those realizations hitting him at once.

He was all alone with Jongin.

He was all alone with Jongin, watching a ballet.

He was all alone with Jongin, just the two of them, with no work. Just all that beauty.

He quickly washed his hands, throwing a look up to the mirror and he almost laughed at himself. He looked just as confused and frightened as he looked.

Kyungsoo forced himself to relax then.

Just two adults, watching a ballet, having a good time.

He forced himself to calmly breathe out, as he ran a hand through his hair, trying to fix it quickly before returning.

Jongin was waiting for him. And he was smiling.

And he looked so, so perfect.

_But of course_ , Kyungsoo almost scoffed as he ran a hand down the front of his own dress shirt, _they were at a theatre. People were supposed to dress up for places like this._

It wasn’t because of him.

It was not because of him.

Just two adults, watching a ballet, spending some time together, alone.

Kyungsoo looked up to the mirror again, staring at his own eyes.

Fuck.

That oddly sounded like a date.

He bit on the inside of his cheeks harshly, once again forcing himself to relax.

_Don’t be ridiculous, Kyungsoo,_ he scolded himself internally, as he ran his hands down the dress shirt again, _don’t be a fool_.

He straightened up, giving himself one last hard look in the mirror. He couldn’t make himself look any better.

And then he hurried out. He didn’t want to keep Jongin waiting.

He stopped in his step when he saw Jongin again, standing by that pillar with his back to him. Even so, he was the most striking person in the room.

So perfect, so elegant on his low heeled dress shoes, looking like royalty under the rich interior of the theatre.

A king not only in VOGUE. He carried himself with this power wherever he was.

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo said as soon as he reached Jongin. His boss turned around. “There was a line.”

“Don’t worry,” Jongin said, stretching his hand out to offer Kyungsoo a wine glass. Kyungsoo hesitantly reached out to take it from his hand, his mind spinning. This was too much. All too much. This was too fancy for someone like him. Ballet and wine and Jongin.

Kyungsoo quickly raised the glass to his lips, trying to ignore that awkward silence between them. Trying to ignore the fact that Jongin was staring at him.

The wine was sweet. It had a fruity taste to it, a hint of berries.

“So,” Kyungsoo started, tired of avoiding Jongin’s eyes. He hesitantly looked up to him and tried to will his heart to relax upon staring at the galaxies in Jongin’s deep eyes. “You said The Nutcracker’s your favourite ballet. Why?”

Jongin smiled. Kyungsoo almost complained when he also raised the glass to his lips to drink from his wine. He wanted to look at that smile for a moment longer.

“It’s the first play I ever saw,” his boss said, leaning against the piller. “My parents brought me to see it. I was just a child back then.”

Kyungsoo supposed that was a nice sentiment.

“It’s a ballet for children,” Jongin continued, shrugging. “Or at least that’s what people say. The mice, the soldiers, the gingerbread men, the candy land and everything else, it’s meant for children. But as I grew, I started asking myself, why should only children be allowed to dream?”

Kyungsoo had no answer to that and Jongin smiled after a little bit, tipping his glass back again.

“Dreaming is for everybody. This ballet too, it’s for everybody. It brings happiness to people. That’s why it’s my favourite.”

There was silence for a bit, while Kyungsoo contemplated those words.

Jongin was right. Dreaming was for everybody.

Children maybe dreamed of candy lands and mice warriors, maybe they dreamed of toys coming to life, maybe they dreamed of snowflakes dancing.

But adults, too, they dreamed.

Kyungsoo’s eyes travelled back to Jongin and the way he was just resting peacefully so close to him, a content look on his face.

Yes. Adults dreamed, too.

“What about you?” Jongin asked, drawing him out of his thoughts, a hopeful look in his eyes. “Do you like it?”

Kyungsoo didn’t even need to think about his answer. He nodded.

“I love it.”

Jongin’s smile was genuine, and maybe even relieved, as he raised the wine to his lips again.

* * *

During the second act of the show, all Kyungsoo could really think about was Jongin.

All he could see was a young kid with Jongin’s full lips and curious, big eyes, leaning forward In his seat and feet dangling in the air. A little kid watching in awe as the dancers floated on the stage, as the story unfolded.

All he could see was a young kid, a young Jongin, falling in love with what he was watching and dreaming.

And his eyes would eventually travel to Jongin again, the adult, and he wouldn’t see something too different. HE was an adult, a gorgeously perfect one at that, and he had achieved so much, so early in his life.

Yet his eyes were still shining with fascination, he was still dreaming.

And maybe it wasn’t the glamorous outfits or the handsome face, maybe it wasn’t the beautiful words he spoke or the way he carried himself, no. It was none of that.

It was that childish innocence in his eyes and the spark of ambition and determination, that hidden part of Jongin that Kyungsoo had only seen a few times before – the soft and delicate part of him, the part of him that just dreamed.

That’s what made him even more perfect.

* * *

The winter air was chilly, as they walked towards the car. Kyungsoo’s steps were hesitant, he didn’t know if he was supposed to follow.

Jongin opened the door to the car then, and he held it open as he turned to look at him.

“You haven’t eaten yet, have you?” his boss asked, the scarf hanging from his shoulders, swayed by the winter wind. Kyungsoo shook his head. “Let’s go grab dinner, then?”

Don’t be a fool, Kyungsoo. Don’t be a fool.

It is nothing like that.

“Yeah, sure.”

And when Jongin had said they would grab dinner, Kyungsoo had imaged some small restaurant, maybe even some fast food chain. It was likely, it was nearing midnight.

What he hadn’t been expecting was the black SUV to stop in front of a place like this.

The name sounded vaguely familiar, he was pretty sure he had been calling them before to make reservations for Jongin and some associates of his. A very expensive place, most probably, a very extravagant one, by the looks of it.

Kyungsoo didn’t realize he was frozen in his place until Jongin turned sideways to look at him, waiting for him under the lights of the main entrance.

Kyungsoo forced his shock away, as he stepped forward, walking after Jongin as they entered the restaurant. There was quiet music playing.

“Good evening, sir,” a middle aged man in a tuxedo greeted them.

Jongin moved forward.

“I have a reservation,” he said and Kyungsoo blinked up in surprise. “Kim Jongin.”

Of course, everybody knew Kim Jongin. Realization spread on the man’s face, as he immediately motioned for someone to come closer. Before Kyungsoo knew it, a lady was helping him out of his coat.

“Of course, sir, follow me.”

Kyungsoo didn’t think he’d ever been in a place like this. He was in just as much awe here, as he had been at the theatre. The man lead them forward through the tables, skipping all the free ones, until the got to the very back of the restaurant.

He led them through a door and Kyungsoo blinked stupidly again.

Only one table.

One table in the entire room. A couch on the side, a smaller table for drinks. There were elegant designs on the ceiling, the light scattered around the room.

Kyungsoo’s head was spinning.

A private dining room.

The ballet.

And Jongin. All of Jongin. All of him, with him. Only with him.

He was short on breath, as the man with the tuxedo held out the chair for him and waited for him to sit down before handing him the menu and slowly disappearing from the room.

Kyungsoo felt completely clueless, as he opened up the menu. Completely speechless.

It was one of those places with no prices on the menu. He almost cringed.

“Their chicken dishes are very good,” Jongin said, breaking the silence and Kyungsoo looked up. His boss wasn’t even looking at the menu, he just smirked a little. “But then, I might be biased. I love chicken.”

“I can’t even read half of those things,” Kyungsoo gave up with a sigh. He couldn’t understand all those foreign names of dishes he had never heard of in his entire life.

Jongin smiled again, a knowing glint in his eyes. He shrugged his shoulders elegantly.

“I can order for you.”

Something about that sounded particularly exciting to Kyungsoo. Particularly private. He felt his cheeks heating up, as he nodded quickly.

“What is your favourite food?” Jongin asked, maybe just to make conversation, maybe to know what to order for him. Kyungsoo didn’t know. He just sighed out.

“I don’t know, I don’t think I have a favourite food. I eat everything.”

“Even brussel sprouts?”

Kyungsoo made a face and Jongin chuckled lightly.

“What about truffles?”

Kyungsoo almost squinted his eyes. He let out a breath, feeling more embarrassed than anything.

But Jongin knew him. Jongin knew who he was – he knew he was nothing special, he knew that.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” Kyungsoo said, lightness in his voice. “But I’m more of a McDonald’s type of guy. I’ve never tried truffles before.”

“What are you saying,” Jongin mumbled, fingers drumming on the table. “Everybody’s a McDonald’s type of guy.”

Kyungsoo doubted that. Jongin looked like a person who had never stepped foot in McDonald’s or any other food chain of the sort. Kyungsoo would say he was missing out on life, but was he, really? Was he, when restaurants like this were his go-to places?

“Well, you have to try truffles someday. It’s really a hit or miss.” Jongin said, fingers still drumming on the table and distracting Kyungsoo from his intense look. “But not here and now. It’s not the right season for them now.”

Kyungsoo didn’t even know truffles had a season. He wasn’t even a hundred percent sure what a damn truffle was.

The waiter came after that, and Jongin ordered for them. It sounded like he was speaking another language, as Kyungsoo just nodded along and stared dumbly.

“-and a bottle of Case Basse di Gianfranco Soldera. 2006.”

Something in Kyungsoo’s chest and stomach fluttered.

There was something so hot about this. Something so hot about a man looking so confident and knowing his shit.

Or maybe it was just Jongin.

“Is that all, sir?”

“That’s all.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes trailed after the server who escaped the room quietly and left them alone again. His heart was working hard today. He was starting tog et exhausted from all that fluttering in his chest.

“Ah!” Jongin exclaimed and Kyungsoo blinked up in surprise when he saw him reaching back to grab something from his bag. “I almost forgot.”

Kyungsoo’s lips parted when Jongin slid something across the table.

“It was your birthday yesterday. I got you a little something.”

Kyungsoo felt all brain process inside his head stopping at once as he stared at the velvet box lying in front of him.

“I wanted to apologize, too.” Jongin said and Kyungsoo looked up from the box towards him. His boss was looking at him with remorse. “Had I known, I wouldn’t have been so harsh on you. I must have ruined your birthday. I wanted to make it up to you.”

“Is this why you brought me to this place?”

Something shone in Jongin’s eyes, as he smiled slowly and mysteriously.

“ _No_.”

Kyungsoo let out a ragged breath.

Jongin hadn’t ruined his birthday. Not at all. In his own way, he had even tried showing kindness. Taking on all of the workload himself. In his own way, he had tried his best.

But this?

Kyungsoo looked down to the velvet box again, heart palpitations starting again.

This was too much.

“You should stop giving me gifts,” Kyungsoo said quietly, too afraid to touch the box, too afraid to open it. He looked up to his boss, who seemed strangely entertained.

He was probably going to reply, had it not been for the server walking in with the wine glasses and a very fancy looking wine bottle in hands. He poured wine for them, leaving the bottle at the side of the table, in a pile of ice. Kyungsoo tried to focus on the ruby red liquid in his glass just to distract himself until they were alone in the room again.

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo said quietly, a defeated tone to his voice. His eyes flashed up. “It’s your birthday tomorrow, isn’t it? I didn’t get you anything.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jongin said dismissively, a faint smile on his lips as he reached forward, a finger circling the rim of his glass. “You already invited me to the ballet.”

Kyungsoo gave him a look and Jongin smiled widely, jokingly. Kyungsoo felt the urge to smack him.

“Won’t you open that?”

“I don’t want to.” Kyungsoo almost whined and watched Jongin’s smile only widening. “Because I know it’s going to be something obnoxiously expensive that I could never repay.”

“That’s why it’s a gift,” Jongin noted, one eyebrow raising on his forehead. “You don’t have to repay it.”

Kyungsoo eyed the box cautiously. His fingers ran the down its side. It felt soft under his touch.

“Go on,” Jongin urged, anticipation in his eyes.

Kyungsoo took in a deep breath before finally pulling the box into his hands and pushing the top open. He almost wished he hadn’t done it.

It was a watch. A silver watch, black display, silver band. A lot of arrows and circles. He recognized the unmistakable golden crown.

He let out a breath, the world around him spinning, as he shook his head.

“No,” he said, the brain-mouth connection quite lost at this point. “No. No, I can’t accept this.”

“It’s a gift,” Jongin said, unfazed.

“ _It’s a Rolex watch, Jongin_ ,” Kyungsoo said, hearing the scandalous and stressed sound of his own voice. “This is-…it is-“

“It’s a gift,” Jongin repeated, just as calmly as before. His eyes were sparkling as he leaned back in his chair. “I’m not going to take it back.”

“But-“

“You can do whatever you want with it, but I’m not accepting it back. Throw it out, if you will,” Jongin raised his eyebrows and shrugged. “Although, I do admit that would be a shame.”

“You’re crazy,” Kyungsoo sighed out, eyes travelling back to the watch.

“Maybe I am.” Jongin just said calmly, a little smile playing on his lips.

Kyungsoo needed a few moments to collect his thoughts. He could not believe this. Any of it. He closed the box and rested his hand on top of it.

His mouth felt dry as he looked up to Jongin again.

“Thank you. Really.”

Jongin seemed to appreciate this reaction more, because his face visibly brightened and he nodded.

“You’re welcome.”

“So,” Kyungsoo cleared his throat, trying to change the subject. “Your birthday. Any big plans for that?”

“Mm, not really.” Jongin circled his finger around the glass again, shaking his head. “The key to a good birthday are low expectations. I’ll be happy enough if I don’t have to deal with fake snakes swarming me all day long with stupid birthday wishes that they don’t really mean.”

Kyungsoo pursed his lips together.

Maybe he could call Sehun, maybe they could do something small for Jongin. Something like the mini party they had thrown for him yesterday.

However, this was Jongin. He didn’t know if that would be fitting.

He looked at his boss curiously. Christmas, his birthday. Why did it seem like even the happiest days in the year were so lonely and so tiring for him? It was kind of tragic.

“Do you want me to reschedule your appointments?” Kyungsoo asked quietly, “I can cancel some of the-“

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin interrupted him with a laugh. A genuine, quiet laugh lacing his name as Jongin spoke it. And it sounded beautiful like this, his name. “No work talk. Don’t spoil the evening.”

“Sorry.” He blurted out almost immediately. Jongin just chuckled lightly again, yet Kyungsoo felt at unease. It wasn’t fair. It was not fair. So unfair, that he got to receive everything and Jongin was stuck with nothing. Well, figuratively. “Is there anything you want then, for your birthday?”

Jongin looked at him again, longer this time, a thoughtful expression on his face. He seemed intrigued.

“I don’t want gifts,” his boss said, voice somewhat calmer and more quiet than before. “But there _is_ something that you could give me.”

Kyungsoo blinked quickly, immediately leaning forward in his seat.

“What is it?”

“An answer.”

Kyungsoo pursed his lips, eyebrows furrowing.

“An answer? An answer to what?”

Jongin seemed uncertain and, for all the world, nervous, as he looked at him. It was certainly the first time Kyungsoo was seeing him like this – the ever powerful leader, his boss, the model and designer, the editor, the celebrity.

“This past month, Kyungsoo, ever since we went to China,” Jongin leaned on the table, closer to him. “Ever since we went to China, I have been feeling a certain-…a certain pull. A certain _something_. And then at New Year’s Eve we kissed, Kyungsoo. I kissed you, and you kissed me back, I know it. I am sure of it.”

Kyungsoo felt something crawling at his chest at the mention of that, and he felt his breathing becoming irregular.

“Was that only the alcohol, or did you _want_ to kiss me back?” Jongin asked, eyebrows raised in expectation. “Because I know _I_ wanted to kiss you."

There were a few moments of silence that felt like centuries to Kyungsoo, who just stood frozen in his seat. Jongin leaned over the table, even closer. 

"I _like_ you, Kyungsoo. And I need to know...I need to know whether you like me too or if I am just imagining things.”

Kyungsoo was pretty sure the world had ceased to exist. That time and space were trying to consume him, to end him. He sure hoped they would, because Jongin’s inquiring gaze was burning right through him along with the hyperventilation he was feeling inside.

Jongin  _wanted_ to kiss him.

Jongin  _liked_ him.

Kyungsoo’s lips parted as his breaths became heavier.

“I am not-…this is-“ Kyungsoo mumbled, suddenly finding it so hard to speak coherently. He closed his eyes, shaking his head. He didn’t realize he was trembling. “This is not right. You are my boss.”

“Forget about that for a moment.” Jongin interrupted him almost immediately, shaking his head and reaching out with his hands. He reluctantly stopped himself from grabbing Kyungsoo’s hands. “Forget about all that. Forget about me being your boss, forget about that stupid editor in chief, forget about everything and just tell me how you feel about me. Just me.”

It felt like a gamble. A cruel and exhilarating gamble.

Kyungsoo stared at Jongin for a few moments, taking his time to sort his own thoughts. Jongin wasn’t rushing him either, he was just silently waiting for the answer.

Kyungsoo listened to him for a moment then.

He tried to forget about everything.

He forgot about his boss, he forgot about the magazine. He forgot about China, he forgot about their work, he forgot about everything. He forgot about New Year’s Eve, he forgot about the ballet. He forgot about the damn watch.

Everything. He tried to abstract himself from it and to just look at the man that Kim Jongin was.

A young man, handsome and kind, intelligent and ambitious. A young man, whose eyes shone as he watched ballet and whose laughter sounded genuine and throaty, borderline dorky. A yung man, whose smile would light up his entire face.

A young man he didn’t know much about.

A young man he wanted to know so much more about.

Kyungsoo took a few moments to gather his courage to reach out and place his hand on top of Jongin’s. His skin felt soft and warm under his fingertips.

“I like that stupid editor in chief,” Kyungsoo smiled, feeling the blush in his cheeks, but he didn’t mind it. Jongin’s face lit up when Kyungsoo squeezed his hand in his lightly and leaned closer. “And I like _you_.”

Jongin’s smile was beautiful when he smiled. He reached out to grab his glass of wine, raising it slightly over the table and tilting it towards Kyungsoo. He waited for him to pick up his own glass.

“To the best birthday ever,” Jongin said quietly, voice sounding happier than Kyungsoo had ever heard it before. He smiled.

“It’s not your birthday yet.”

“It is, actually.”

Kyungsoo looked towards the clock hanging on the wall.

_ 12:03. _

Kyungsoo felt his lips pulling back in a small smile. He tipped his glass forward too, until a silent clang resounded in the quiet room.

“Happy birthday.”

Jongin just smiled as both of them raised the glasses to their lips, a hand moving underneath his to lightly intertwine their fingers on top of the table.

Kyungsoo hid his smile behind the glass.


	9. Chapter 9

The following few days were hard for Kyungsoo.

Virtually, nothing had changed. Jongin was still the untouchable editor-in-chief of VOGUE, he was still his second assistant. Every day was filled with an unforgivable work load, there was no time to even breathe.

However, he knew something that no one else did. Beyond that façade, everything had changed. Because Jongin had told him things that no boss was supposed to tell their assistant. Because Kyungsoo felt things he was not supposed to. Because everything in his world was suddenly upside down, and there was nothing he could do about it in the white office.

All he could do was to shove it to the back of his mind and distract himself with work. There were emails to be answered, phone calls to be made. Schedules to be changed and photoshoots to be arranged.

There was so much work.

Yet, there was a tingling feeling in his chest every time Jongin walked past the double glass doors of their office. A reminder.

And that tingling feeling – it made everything so much more complicated. Because he might have gotten closer to Jongin, he might have shared his thoughts and feelings with him, he might have accepted his honesty. He might have given it a chance. Them.

But that was all behind closed doors, so to say. It was between just the two of them.

In the office, however, that changed nothing. Jongin still had his work, so did Kyungsoo and Sehun and Baekhyun. They all had their responsibilities.

If anything, Kyungsoo had gotten jumpier at work those past few days. Shooting awkward glances and stumbling over his own words, unable to look his boss in the eye.

“I will need you to stop all preparations on the Berlin photoshoot,” Jongin said first thing when he walked into the office that day and Kyungsoo felt himself straightening up and blinking quickly at the annoyed expression of his boss. He didn’t know if he was talking to him or Sehun. It didn’t really matter. “I received the publishers’ denial to raise the budget for the anniversary issue. This won’t do. Arrange a meeting with them as soon as possible, this is a pressing matter.”

Kyungsoo stood up from his chair to grab Jongin’s coat and bag out of his arms and take them to the side, while the other man continued talking.

“If it can happen today, reschedule the run through for tomorrow. RVSP yes to the Chanel party. Also get me out of that interview for Marie Claire. I don’t feel like doing it.”

“But you’ve already cancelled four interviews this month alone.”

Kyungsoo was kind of glad that he wasn’t in Sehun’s place right now, because the look Jongin shot in his direction was deadly.

“Let’s make it five then.”

Kyungsoo heard Sehun letting out a breath when Jongin disappeared into his office. Jongin had some good days, but he also had some bad days. It seemed like today was one of those.

Kyungsoo could only hang the coat carefully and throw a look towards the archway separating the two rooms.

“Where’s my tea?” Jongin’s voice reached them from the other room only a moment later, and Kyungsoo straightened up yet again.

He threw a quick, distressed look towards Sehun, who just nodded absentmindedly.

Kyungsoo got the hint.

He grabbed his own jacket as quickly as possible, and he sprinted out the door. He hoped the Starbucks across the street had already opened. 

* * *

When Kyungsoo handed Jongin his tea exactly six minutes later, he felt Jongin’s fingers brushing against his. He startled a bit when their eyes met, and he pulled his hand away, as if burned. Jongin just smirked lightly. Kyungsoo could feel the other man’s lingering stare as he turned around and hurried out of his office and back to his desk.

Things like that kept happening in the following week.

In between all that work, and all those different appointments and schedules, Kyungsoo would occasionally sense some things, he would occasionally notice the deliberate touches and lingering stares. And he was confused.

So damn confused, because he was _at work_.

Because he was _working_ , he had so much work to do, and he was just so, so confused.

He had all those feelings and all those questions bottled up inside him and he could do nothing about them. He could just continue working and withstanding the building pressure inside his chest forming after every little brush of their fingers or shared glance.

And the worst part of it?

Jongin’s little smirks. Barely visible, but there.

It’s as if he knew exactly what he was doing to Kyungsoo, exactly how conflicted he felt about this whole ordeal – and he smirked like that on purpose. To remind Kyungsoo of everything when he was trying so hard to forget, at least while he was working. While he was _supposed_ to be working anyways.

It’s as if he really enjoyed watching Kyungsoo suffer. Watching him get flustered and confused, jittery and awkward every time he smirked at him.

 _Real sleek_ , Kyungsoo thought to himself with a disgruntled pout forming on his face as he angrily hit the buttons of his keyboard, cancelling yet another meeting that his boss didn’t feel like attending. Jongin had made sure to smile at him about three times while giving him the instructions, and somehow a hand had also landed on top of his while he had been taking his notes. _Real fucking sleek_ , Kyungsoo smashed the send button _, with his stupid pretty eyes and his stupid pretty smile_.

“Are you okay?”

Kyungsoo looked up from his computer to Sehun, who was staring at him with one raised eyebrow. There was little to no concern to be heard in his question. A lot of judgement, though.

He had for sure noticed how annoyed Kyungsoo looked with life, it had been going on for a week now, after all.

When the first assistant just raised his eyebrow even higher, Kyungsoo shook his head with a scoff and looked away from him.

He didn’t have the time for this. He had emails to answer.

* * *

Jongin’s instruction had been quiet, but clear. Not leaving Kyungsoo the chance to say no. Not when Sehun was in the room next door and even his boss had had to resort to whispering.

_Wait for me in the lobby after work._

So Kyungsoo did.

He was standing in the lobby, in the _empty_ lobby, and he waited. Sehun seemed to buy it when he told him he was waiting for a friend to come pick him up.

Technically, it wasn’t a lie.

So now he was all alone, throwing glances towards the building’s main entrance and waiting for Jongin to appear.

Kyungsoo didn’t know what to think. This last week at work had been so busy, filled with tension. He was getting really stressed.

Mostly because he kept wondering if this was all a joke to Jongin.

Because, really, why would someone like Jongin ever even like someone like him? Why’d he bother? Kyungsoo wasn’t worth the time and energy. He was nobody.

Those thoughts, adding on to the confusion at work about how to behave, about what to say or how to act – it was piling up and reaching a very dangerous level. Kyungsoo would snap if it kept building up at this pace.

Until today, of course, when Jongin told him to wait for him.

It was pathetic, he knew that, but Kyungsoo held on to that little sentence in the hopes that it would change something. That it would explain some things to him, that he would finally have the answers he so desperately needed.

He looked up when he finally heard the sounds from the buzzing evening in the city, when the doors to the building opened and in walked Jongin with confidence and authority. And Kyungsoo’s breath hitched. Yet again, as always.

He had never seen Jongin dressed as casually as this.

He was wearing light blue skinny jeans, that were hugging his gorgeous model legs perfectly. He was also wearing a large bomber jacket with fur on the collar. It was Balenciaga, Kyungsoo could see the letters from far away. His sneakers were simple. Converse, was it? Kyunsoo was pretty sure he had the same pair of sneakers lying somewhere at home. Possibly the only thing that both him and Jongin owned.

It was a simple outfit, casual, despite the names on the tags, and Jongin had never looked so good to Kyungsoo. He looked somehow younger, somehow carefree.

Especially when he looked at him and finally smiled, a dazzling smile that he seemed to have been holding in for an entire week. Kyungsoo could feel his heartbeat raising.

“Hey,” Jongin greeted with his honey-dipped voice and Kyungsoo just stood there frozen in his daze, still staring at that perfect human being walking towards him across the large, empty lobby. “Sorry I kept you waiting.”

“It’s fine.” Kyungsoo barely managed to croak out. Jongin’s smile softened, then, from a big grin to a small smile. Kyungsoo’s heart was aching. “You look…you look good.”

Jongin looked down at his clothes with a condescending smirk, before shaking his head and pointing at Kyungsoo instead.

“So do you.”

Kyungsoo looked down to hide his smile. He was wearing one of those turtlenecks from Baekhyun’s collection and a large black coat on top of that. He was pretty sure the scarf was from Louis Vuitton, because of the logo and mostly because Sehun kept eyeing it this morning. It was the only colourful thing about his outfit.

“Well, nothing I’m wearing is from Target, so I guess it looks fine.”

Jongin’s chuckle was low, as he shook his head.

“I didn’t mean the clothes.”

 Kyungsoo buried his face down in the scarf again. He could feel his face heating up. It was awkwardly silent for a few moments, to the point he could hear his heart beating in his ears.

He ran a tongue over his dry lips, before finally looking up.

“So, uh…what’s this about?”

“Oh, I figured we could go out since it’s Friday night.” Jongin said, a nonchalant tone to his voice, but a very serious look in his eyes. “Maybe we can go see a movie. Maybe we can get McDonald’s. I remember you said you liked that.”

“O-.. _oh_.”

“If you want to, of course.” Jongin added quickly, blinking a few times, before shaking his head. A few strands of hair fell over his eyes. “If you’re free. I forgot to ask if you already had plans. How stupid of me.”

“I don’t!” Kyungsoo interrupted, his voice maybe a tad louder than he had wanted it to be. “Have plans. I don’t have any plans. I would lo-…I mean, McDonald’s and the movies sounds great.”

It did. It truly did. It sounded so _normal_. So _simple_.

And with Jongin looking the way he did, nothing could make for a more perfect Friday night.

Just one thing, maybe, and it was the relieved and pleased smile that bloomed on Kim Jongin’s lips, as he nodded.

“Very well. Let’s go then,” he motioned towards the door. “My car’s just out front.”

Kyungsoo pursed his lips as he started walking alongside Jongin. His heart fluttered a little when Jongin pulled the heavy door and held it open for him.

He waddled forward awkwardly, eyes shooting up to search the familiar black SUV with the tinted windows and that expressionless driver of Jongin’s who never seemed to say anything.

Jongin, however, put a hand lightly on his shoulder and guided him towards the car right in front of them. It was a shiny black thing, looking exactly like what he would imagine the car of a rich person to look like. Kyungsoo barely held in the sigh. Figures.

“I told my driver to get me home first. Then I switched cars, that’s why I was a bit late.” Jongin explained quickly, maybe sensing Kyungsoo’s curious glance. “Figured it would be nice to have some privacy.”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo hated himself for letting his voice sound an octave higher than usual.

Did Jongin realize what he was doing to him? Did he realize what effect his words had on him?

Kyungsoo needed a few moments.

So when Jongin opened the passenger door for him and held it open until Kyungsoo slid on the comfortable leather, he took those few seconds it took his boss to round the car to breathe in deeply and then exhale.

 _Get yourself together_ , he nagged himself mentally, as he straightened in the seat.

He smiled when Jongin sat down in the car behind the wheel and gave him a look, something soft in those usually unreadable eyes, as he, too, smiled.

“Buckle up.”

* * *

“It’s been ages since I’ve had this stuff,” Jongin exclaimed between bites and Kyungsoo couldn’t help the somewhat soft tingle in his chest. “It’s so _bad_ , but it’s so _good_!”

Kyungsoo laughed quietly, taking yet another bite from his hamburger. It truly was spectacular – seeing Jongin all casual, with McDonald’s fries and two burgers on his tray. The ketchup from the little package was messing up almost everything on the tray but nobody seemed to mind.

He was seeing Jongin in a different light tonight, here, in the badly lit corner table of the theater’s McDonald’s, as they waited for their movie.

He kept watching, as Jongin grabbed another fry and dipped it in the mess of ketchup on the tray. There seemed to be a hint of an amused smile on his lips even while he chewed, a streak of red on his lips. Kyungsoo blinked quickly, eyes focusing on the other man’s lips.

A grave mistake. Because of some stupid ketchup he was now staring at Jongin’s lips and he couldn’t seem to look away. They were plump and they were beautiful.

And they were soft. Kyungsoo knew that. He remembered.

Just at the memories, his own lips started burning, the trace of Jongin’s touch coming back to life to hit him in the most uncomfortable moment.

Why was he thinking about their kiss now? Of all times, why now?

When Jongin was in front of him with smeared ketchup on his lips and the innocent expression of a child as he pondered out loud if he should also buy chicken nuggets.

And that stupid red, it was driving him crazy. Those lips, they were driving him crazy.

“You have some…“ Kyungsoo interrupted, voice faltering in the middle of his sentence. He was blinking quickly at Jongin, hand hesitantly reaching up. He stopped himself before he went for Jongin’s face. Instead, his fingers brushed against his own lip.

Jongin seemed to get the hint, because he grabbed the first napkin he saw and raised it to his lips, wiping that little bit of ketchup. He set the napkin back on the table and then looked up to Kyungsoo.

His eyes examined him for a few torturously long moments, before his lips pulled back in a smile as he let out a breath. He looked amused, and Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if it was positively or negatively, as Jongin leaned on the table.

“You’re still uncomfortable around me, aren’t you?” he said in bewilderment and Kyungsoo hoped he didn’t look as guilty as he felt.

He wasn’t uncomfortable, he was just reasonable. Not uncomfortable, but realistic.

Completely enchanted by everything Jongin did, for it all seemed to be filled with grace and beauty.

Whipped. He was so goddamn whipped.

And if it came off as him being uncomfortable, then maybe yes. Maybe he was.

Uncomfortable by the fact that he seemed to be stripped of all defences when it was just the two of them, when Jongin didn’t keep up a front, when he was _just Jongin_. Just Jongin was powerful. Even more so than his boss, in completely different and charming ways.

Kyungsoo didn’t reply to his question, instead he looked down and reached out for his milkshake, fingers pulling the lid off. He played with the straw, watching it disappear in the fluffy texture of the drink, before he let out a quiet sigh and looked up back to Jongin.

The other man still seemed amused, his eyes never moving away from his as he traced every little movement Kyungsoo made.

“Let me show you a secret,” Kyungsoo said in the brightest tone he could produce, trying to change the subject. He picked up a fry, dipping it inside the milkshake without a second thought. He watched Jongin’s eyebrows furrowing in distaste as he followed his movement. “Nothing can beat the fries and milkshake combination, not even nuggets and barbeque sauce.”

He enjoyed the absolutely terrified expression on Jongin’s face as he ate his milkshake-covered-fry.

“That looks absolutely gross.”

Kyungsoo smiled, pushing his milkshake to the middle of the table.

“Try it.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Then how would you know if it’s gross or not?”

Jongin stared at him for a couple long seconds, eyes lightly squinted. _Alright_ , his gaze seemed to say, _I’ll let you avoid it once_.

“Fair enough,” he ended up saying, as he picked up a fry.

Another sight Kyungsoo hadn’t been expecting to see.

Kim Jongin – _the_ Kim Jongin – dipping a McDonald’s fry in milkshake and hesitantly holding it up to his lips. He threw an inquiring look towards him and Kyungsoo just raised his eyebrows. Jongin’s gaze was challenging as he actually ate the fry.

Kyungsoo smiled as he watched his boss chewing with a very concentrated expression. He almost laughed when Jongin shot a look towards him again.

“It _is_ gross,” he ended up saying after a bit, and it was followed by a low chuckle and him leaning on the table again, holding up yet another fry between his slender fingers. “But I love it.”

Kyungsoo’s lips pulled back in a lopsided smirk as he watched Jongin dipping the fry in his milkshake again, a goofy smile spreading on that gorgeous face. And just like that, the dark corner of McDonald’s turned into the brightest place Kyungsoo had ever been.

* * *

Kyungsoo wasn’t really able to concentrate on the movie. He was busier thinking about Jongin during most of it to pay attention to the fighting happening on the big screen in front of him. The images seemed kind of blurred.

He would throw occasional glances to the side, to Jongin.

To see the flickering lights from the movie reflecting on his amused face, to see the light making the angles of his jaw even more defined and the curve of his lips – even softer.

That sight, Jongin’s side profile, was a million times more interesting than anything happening in the movie they were watching.

He didn’t know how long they’d been watching but at some point the main characters started kissing. Kyungsoo wasn’t even sure how it all lead up to that. Had he been paying attention, he would have known. But he hadn’t.

He had spent the majority of the movie thinking.

What did this make him and Jongin? Going to a play together, having dinner together at a fancy restaurant? That ridiculously expensive watch, those stolen touches and glances at work. The movies.

Jongin’s hand was resting on the handle of the seat, palm relaxed. His fingers were long and elegant, and Kyungsoo wondered how warm his hand would be if he touched it now. How soft his fingertips would feel against his own.

It looked so inviting.

Kyungsoo looked away, blinking quickly, the blurred images from the movie coming in focs as he looked at the large screen. He couldn’t hear a single word the actors were saying, all he could hear were the thousand screaming voices in his head.  

_You are not worthless. You deserve this._

_He likes you. He said it himself, he likes you._

_Stop worrying so much._

_He kissed you. He said he wanted to kiss you._

Kyungsoo leaned his head back against the seat, lips suddenly dry. It felt too damn stuffy in here, like there wasn’t enough air for him to breathe.

And he was too close to Jongin. Their fingers almost brushing, their shoulders occasionally bumping. Too close.

_Stop being such a coward._

Kyungsoo pursed his lips together for a brief moment, and he shut his eyes closed.

He raised his arm and slid his fingers against Jongin’s skin. His hand found its way inside Jongin’s palm, snugly fitting. Jongin’s hand was warm. So pleasantly warm as Kyungsoo mustered up the courage to intertwine their fingers together loosely.

And then he waited, with his breath locked in his throat.

And it seemed like he waited for an eternity, even though it had only been a second, when he felt Jongin shifting beside him, their shoulders pressing tightly as Jongin leaned over towards him.

Kyungsoo felt breathless when Jongin’s hot breath tickled his skin as he whispered in his ear.

“I was waiting for you to do that.”

Kyungsoo breathed out, chest feeling like someone had kicked him. Yet, it felt good. So good. So amazing.

When Jongin tightened his fingers around his hand, Kyungsoo bit on his lower lip, absolutely flustered, but so warm. So goddamn warm.

He flashed a look to their linked hands and then back up to Jongin’s handsome face. The other man wasn’t looking at him, his eyes were still trained on the movie.

There was, however, a smile on his plump lips and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but feel that same tingle in his chest again.

That smile, it was because of him.

Kyungsoo smiled, as he looked back towards the movie. Maybe now he had some answers.

And maybe that tingle he felt in his chest every now and then – maybe it was a little bit more than just happiness and admiration.

* * *

“Let me drive you home?” Jongin held the car door open and Kyungsoo blinked quickly, shaking his head. He could already feel the blush hitting his cheeks.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. I can just take the subway and-“

“Kyungsoo, please,” Jongin just smiled, as he opened the door of his black sports car even wider. “It’s cold, it’s late and I _want_ to.”

Kyungsoo threw a quick look towards the street. There weren’t many cars out, so he supposed it really must have gotten late. And Jongin was right, it was cold.

He sighed out, as he finally nodded. Jongin beamed when he entered the car.

He waited for Jongin to get in the seat behind the wheel, before he finally reached up to pull the scarf away from his neck.

“Thank you.”

Jongin just smirked, as he shook his head and turned the key. The engine of the car purred sweetly.

“You don’t have to thank me, you know,” Jongin said, “Not for stuff like this. It’s kind of disheartening when people thank me for the smallest things. Makes me wonder what they really think of me.”

Kyungsoo hummed quietly, staring out the window as the car moved past the almost empty garage of the mall.

“Well, you’re Kim Jongin. You’re a busy man. You’re untouchable. No one would even dare ask you for such a thing, so when you offer it yourself people feel the need to thank you.”

“Even you?” Jongin raised an eyebrow at him for the briefest of moments, before returning his eyes back on the road. Kyungsoo remained silent, eyes shooting down to look at his hands. “Driving someone home when it’s already past midnight, when it’s so cold outside and the subway might not even be running anymore…it’s the decent thing to do. _Especially_ when you had been out together, on a date.”

“That was a date?” Kyungsoo blinked to the side, eyes inspecting the little smirk that pulled Jongin’s lips back again.

“No, I just really love bringing my second assistants to the movies.”

It was Kyungsoo’s turn to smirk, eyes shooting back down to his palms.

“I had to ask,” he said eventually. “I couldn’t be sure. I needed to hear it from you.”

“Why?”

“I told you,” Kyungsoo shrugged, looking out the window and the empty streets, the light from the street lamps flashing by him. “You’re untouchable.”

It was silent for a bit longer than usual and Kyungsoo vaguely wondered if he’d said something that might have offended Jongin. He didn’t dare look at him. He felt like he’d just say something else that was entirely ridiculous and stupid if he did.

“I don’t want to be untouchable,” Jongin said quietly and Kyungsoo’s head whipped in his direction at once. “Not to you.”

Kyungsoo opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He had not reply to that.

Instead, he felt the tingling in his chest intensifying, spreading through his entire body in soft waves.

“Anyways,” Jongin laughed, breaking the silence and Kyungsoo was dragged out of his own complicated thoughts in an instant, blinded by that beautiful smile. “You didn’t tell me your address. I don’t know where to drive you to.”

* * *

Kyungsoo thought it was rather chivalry of Jongin to hurry to round the car so he could open the door for him again.

Kyungsoo felt breathless as he stood up in the cold, his apartment building just across the street. It felt kind of odd, Jongin’s luxurious car in a neighbourhood as simple as his.

He blinked quickly when Jongin shut the door after he got out and smiled at him.

“After you.”

“What?” Kyungsoo shot his gaze up to Jongin, who just grinned. He didn’t seem to have a problem with the word ‘what’ when it wasn’t in the office.

“I’m walking you home, of course. Isn’t that what people usually do.”

“Maybe in the forties, yes.”

“So what, I am old fashioned.”

“And the editor in chief of the biggest fashion magazine, keeping up with every single latest trend.” Kyungsoo mumbled, raising his eyebrows. “A hopeless romantic.”

Jongin smirked.

“I try.”

“Suit yourself,” Kyungsoo shrugged, hopping off the sidewalk and walking across the empty street with Jongin by his side.

He was pretty sure they made less than twenty steps, that it took them about half a minute at most, before Kyungsoo stopped in front of the door of the building and raised an eyebrow at Jongin.

“That’s me.”

He watched as Jongin eyed the building with nothing but pure interest in his eyes. The wind was blowing his unstyled hair, and there was just something ethereal in the way his skin glowed golden under the light of the streetlight.

And then their eyes met and Kyungsoo’s breath hitched yet again.

The tingling reached his fingertips, he felt like his entire body was vibrating in the search of the proper words.

He settled for the two that came to his mind first.

“Thank you,” he said quietly in the silent night. “I had fun tonight.”

“So did I.”

He was glad to see nothing but sincerity in Jongin’s eyes. It made him happy.

And then his breath hitched yet again, when Jongin’s soft fingers wrapped around one of his hands, holding it tightly. The other hand he raised to his face, those long and slender fingers pushing away a bang from his forehead and then sliding down to hold his face, hand lodged between his ear and his neck, a thumb brushing against his jawline. Kyungsoo’s breath came out shattered at the electrifying touch, as he looked up to see Jongin’s gaze locked on him.

He was leaning closer and Kyungsoo’s lips parted.

Jongin was leaning closer and Kyungsoo’s heart did a backflip in his ribcage.

He didn’t pull back. He didn’t want to pull back.

He could already feel Jongin’s hot breath on his lips. His mind was going dizzy.

And he was waiting for that kiss. He didn’t know how long he had been waiting for it. Seconds, hours. Ever since New Year’s Eve, he had been waiting.

But that kiss didn’t come, instead he felt Jongin pressing his forehead against his.

 “Am I still untouchable?”

Kyungsoo’s eyelids fluttered open and he saw Jongin’s parted lips first, before he looked up to his eyes. So dizzy.

Jongin’s thumb ran over his jawline again, electricity dancing on his skin.

“You can touch me, Kyungsoo.”

Touch him?

Kyungsoo breathed out, lowering his gaze. His head shifted the tiniest bit and it pressed his forehead even tighter against Jongin’s. He could feel the other’s breath on his skin and it was driving him mad. So close.

Touch.

Kyungsoo moved his free hand hesitantly up to Jongin’s waist, grabbing the hem of his leather jacket and curling his fingers tightly around it, pressing his fist to the other’s body.

He pulled his other hand out of Jongin’s grasp then, and caught his wrist instead, guiding his palm to his waist. He held his breath when he laid Jongin’s hand on his own body, before raising his hand up to Jongin’s shoulder.

His hand slid slowly up the column of his neck and behind his head. He buried his fingers in Jongin’s hair.

And then he looked at his eyes again.

So close.

He barely saw the way Jongin’s lips curled up into the tiniest of smirks, pleased and satisfied, before the man finally leaned down and pressed their lips together.

After so long, after thinking about this for days, for weeks, after recalling the feeling of Jongin’s lips against his – it was happening again.

Jongin was kissing him and Kyungsoo was kissing him back. Without the blur of alcohol between them, without the clouded judgement.

And it was so much better than anything Kyungsoo remembered.

Jongin’s lips were soft against his, but demanding. He was kissing him eagerly, every move of his lips deliberate and just as elegant as breath-taking as everything that Kim Jongin was.  

Kyungsoo’s eyelids fluttered closed at the sensation. At the emotions that coursed through his body as his fingers tightened into a fist around Jongin’s hair and he pulled him even closer, meeting every eager kiss with hunger and urgency.

He had been waiting so long for this.

And now that he had it he couldn’t seem to get enough of it.

Jongin’s real kiss, a sober Jongin’s kiss, a kiss he really meant – it was nothing like Kyungsoo had ever imagined. It was sending electricity through his entire body, it was making colors spike behind his closed eyelids.

Jongin’s hand slid from his waist to his lower back, pulling him closer and pressing their bodies together. He deepened the kiss, lips parting and a tongue tracing Kyungsoo’s lips.

And Kyungsoo was shaking. He locked Jongin’s lower lip between his own, not wanting to break the kiss.

He didn’t care that he couldn’t breathe, he didn’t care that he was getting dizzy.

All he cared about was that fire engulfing his entire body at the sensation of Jongin’s confident hands and skilled lips.

He breathed in deeply when Jongin broke the kiss, pressing his forehead against his again. His skin was warm.

Kyungsoo’s chest was heaving up and down, the air burning his lungs and the trace of Jongin’s lips burning his skin.

 _Holy shit_ , maybe he really was on fire.

He realized how tightly his fingers were wrapped around Jongin’s hair, to the point of pulling it and he immediately spread his hand, sliding it down Jongin’s neck to his shoulder. He held on to him for support.

He was afraid he would crumble if he didn’t.

Noone said anything for a few long moments, both of them gasping for air. Jongin’s hand was still on his lower back, still pressing him tightly against him.

“It’s really late,” Jongin said eventually, his voice sounding hoarse. “And you’ve been working all day before I dragged you out.”

“So have you,” Kyungsoo sounded breathless when he replied. He didn’t even know what he was saying. His mind was a beautiful mess, as he stared down to Jongin’s lips again.  

He didn’t want to let go of him now that he had had a real taste. He didn’t want him to leave.

Jongin just smirked lightly at that reply, and he leaned down to kiss him again. Briefly, shortly. Just an innocent press of his lips against Kyungsoo’s.

Kyungsoo reluctantly let go of his leather jacket and tried to hold in the sigh as Jongin stepped back. He brushed his thumb against his collarbone one time, before withdrawing his hand. His eyes were shining even in the dark night.

“Good night, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo didn’t even have the chance to reply. He doubted he could, even if he wanted. His words were stuck in his throat, as he watched Jongin turning around and walking across the street, back to his car.

He pressed his lips together tightly when Jongin turned to look at him before entering the car.

He smiled, and even from across the street, he was so handsome. So perfect.

Out of reach, but not untouchable.

Not anymore.

Kyungsoo smiled back at him, raising his hand in a weak wave.

He watched the car driving away and he didn’t move until it disappeared behind the corner of the big boulevard.

When it did, he finally let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding in. He slumped back against the door of his building, his feet barely holding him up anymore, raising a hand to lay out flat on his chest.

His heart was racing.

A dazed smile tugged on his lips, as he finally looked away from the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated, I read through every single one of them and you have no idea how grateful I am ^^
> 
> You can come talk to me on twitter @jongnugget, I don't bite haha
> 
> Until next time ^^


	10. Chapter 10

10

 

Kyungsoo was in the middle of replying to an email when the glass doors of the office swung open and Sehun entered the office in a hurry, all clad in black with his phone pressed to his ear and a prominent frown etched on his lips. 

“-no. No, I remember _clearly_ telling you that we will _not_ require such pointless services. If you don’t have the guts to fire the guy, then I will. Give me his number and I will do your goddamn work for you, but not before letting Mr. Kim know how _incompetent_ and _lazy_ you are.” 

Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows and let out a low whistle when Sehun stormed by his desk and grabbed one of the coffee cups. It wasn’t even 7 yet and they were already firing people today. Just another day at work.

“ _No_ ,” the volume of Sehun’s voice raised and Kyungsoo flinched at how the first assistant slammed the cup down on his own desk. “Mr. Kim only works with _one_ photographer and his name is Kim Minseok. Did you hire Kim Minseok for the job like we instructed you to? No, you didn’t. Hence, you didn’t do your job. He-…no, _you absolute-…_ we do not _need_ your damn teams, we do not _want_ them. How many times do I have to repeat myself? No photographers. No makeup artists. No stylists. Nothing.”

He watched as Sehun stared blankly at the wall with a very deep crease between his eyebrows, before finally letting out some disgruntled sound. 

“ _Have a nice day.”_

He might have as well said ‘fuck you’, at least judging by the venom dripping from his voice. It wouldn’t have made that big of a difference. 

Kyungsoo almost chuckled at the way he slammed the phone down on his desk and reached up to harshly tug on the scarf around his neck. 

“I am _so_ tired of dealing with inadequate dolts every single day.”

That was such a Sehun thing to say, looking absolutely flawless even when he was pissed off, using big words with such a condescending tone. Kyungsoo would have hated this months ago. Now, all he could do was smirk a little. 

“Well aren’t _you_ a ray of sunshine on this lovely morning.” Sehun just shot him a deadly glare, before reaching down to turn on his computer. Kyungsoo shook his head. “What was all that about anyways?”

“We’re going to Japan next week.”

Well, that was new. Kyungsoo’s eyebrows shot up on his forehead.

“We are?”

Sehun’s look was even deadlier and darker this time.

“I just said that, yes.” 

It took the first assistant about twenty seconds to compose himself and to will the annoyed frown from his face, before finally deciding to not act like a complete ass first thing in the morning. Kyungsoo appreciated that subtle shift of his eyebrows before he turned towards him.

“Remember that feature that ELLE Japan called us for in January? Well, _apparently_ , Jongin decided last night at midnight that he wanted to do it, so he called me and now we’re doing it.”

“I see.”

“Go down to the wardrobe, please. Find Krystal and ask her to give you the outfits Jongin requested for the spring issue and ask if he said anything about the run through yet. And I,” Sehun let out a breath as he picked up the stationary phone. “I will call Minseok and beg him to clear his schedule for us.”

Kyungsoo nodded briefly, hitting send on the email he had written, before standing up and starting his day in a hurry. 

* * *

“Alright,” Sehun said as soon as he saw Kyungsoo stepping back into the office. Baekhyun was leaning on his desk, a lollipop hanging from the corner of his mouth, an oversized hoodie drowning out his body and a pad in his hand. He was lazily sketching something and only raised the pencil in a semblance of a greeting. “I need you to book our plane tickets.”

“Did you get Minseok?”

“Of course I did,” Sehun replied indignantly. 

“Alright, so a ticket for Jongin, Minseok, his stylist and…?” 

“You and me, of course.” Sehun hummed, typing something on his phone. “Baekhyun, too.”

Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows at Baekhyun, who was still sketching, not even moving an inch when Kyungsoo approached his desk. 

“What, you’re coming too? Why?”

“Because, my dear little Soo, it’s in Japan.” Baekhyun said merrily, before closing his sketchbook and pulling the lollipop out of his mouth. “ _And_ the magazine is paying.”

Kyungsoo mused in bewilderment, before dragging his pad from under Baekhyun’s ass. 

“You rich people are the worst.”

Sehun laughed, a dry chuckle, a maybe kind of stressed-out-of-his-mind chuckle, and Kyungsoo completely understood. If anything, at least Sehun smiled for the first time today. It was worth Baekhyun’s scoff. 

“Right. As if your ass isn’t going to enjoy a free week-long trip to Hokkaido.”

Kyungsoo didn’t have the time to process the fact that Baekhyun said Hokkaido, before he opened his mouth and let out the first thought that crossed his mind.

“ _A week?!_ ”

“Yeah?” Baekhyun blinked and Kyungsoo just let out a breath. 

“The final draft for the April issue should be done by the end of the month and you’re telling me we’re going to waste an entire week in Japan just for some photoshoot?”

“I know, right?” Sehun seemed just as annoyed as he did in the morning. “Imagine all the work we’ll have to do once we’re back.”

Kyungsoo slumped back in his chair. He was going to get a headache just thinking about it. 

“Well, look at it from the positive side,” Baekhyun offered. “You _are_ getting a free trip to Hokkaido.”

“Not everybody’s getting a free trip, you jackass,” Sehun frowned and Kyungsoo reached out to kick Baekhyun lightly under his desk.

“Yeah. Some of us have work to do.”

* * *

The day was spent mostly preparing for the photoshoot, arranging accommodations and transportation, securing equipment and booking locations. When Jongin arrived, carrying another pile of work with himself, Kyungsoo was already too tired to even function. 

And by the time the clock struck six, he didn’t even want to move anymore. His limbs and eyelids felt heavy.

Sehun left first, shooting out of his seat the moment Kyungsoo said he’d stay a little longer. 

Kyungsoo was reading the last of the documents they had to sort and send out, when a soft voice resounded in the empty, dark office.

“Sehun.” 

Kyungsoo’s head snapped up when he realized that Jongin was calling for his first assistant. He stood up from his chair slowly, back aching as he approached the arched doorway and followed the light streaming from Jongin’s office.

The man was sitting behind his massive desk, papers scattered in front of him. There were glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. The burgundy turtleneck sweater he was wearing was awfully fitting and Kyungsoo felt his heart constricting in his chest. 

“He’s not here,” Kyungsoo said and Jongin blinked up from the papers at the sound of his voice. “He left about half an hour ago.” 

The editor seemed taken aback, as he looked at the watch on his wrist. Kyungsoo saw his eyebrows furrowing when he checked the time.

“I didn’t realize it’s so late already.” 

_ Obviously _ , Kyungsoo thought to himself after taking another quick glimpse at all those papers. 

“Can I help you?” 

Jongin seemed to contemplate that for a moment, before eventually nodding. 

“I need the draft version of the article about Taeyeon and the B-cuts from her shoot.” 

“Yeah, I have them here.”  

Kyungsoo pulled the large envelope from his desk and hurried to pass it to Jongin. 

Jongin, whose eyes lingered on him a few seconds longer than usual, before his lips pulled back in a tired smile. His voice was soft and warm.

“You don’t have to stay, Kyungsoo. I can finish up alone.” 

“You know how sometimes you’re so tired you don’t even want to move?” Kyungsoo leaned his shoulder on the wall and shrugged when Jongin nodded with a bitter smile, a relatable look in his eyes. “Yeah, I feel like I’ll collapse halfway home if I leave now.” 

“Would it sound horrible if I say I’m glad?” 

Kyungsoo smiled and shook his head. He just watched as Jongin tilted his head towards the chair on the other side of his desk.

“Keep me company, then?” 

That, Kyungsoo could do. He was more than happy to sit down in the chair and indulge himself while watching his boss-slash-boyfriend focusing on his work again. 

He unsealed the envelope and pulled out the papers and photos inside of it. 

Jongin would purse his lips together every time he got immersed in something he was reading, that’s what Kyungsoo had noticed. Pressing his plump lips together in a thin line, hand occasionally flying up to push the glasses up his nose. He would blink too quickly when looking between different photos, sharp eyes scanning for even the smallest of flaws, for the tiniest of imperfections. 

He would bite on his lower lip when arranging the papers on the table, and Kyungsoo would lose a little part of his sanity every time he did. 

“What do you think about this?” 

Kyungsoo had to blink a couple times before he remembered there was nobody else in the office and that Jongin was, in fact, talking to him. That he was looking at him. 

“About what?” 

Jongin spread his hand over the left side of the desk. Photos of that singer in a yellow gown, golden and black letters filing the pages. Accessories, hats, shoes, bags, all different shades of the sun. 

“Golden fantasy, or,” Jongin’s hand motioned to the right side of his desk, where Kyungsoo could see all colours of the rainbow, happy models posing in parks together, holding hands, running. “One fine day?” 

Kyungsoo blinked at the photos, a pang in his chest.

Was Jongin actually asking him about his opinion on the next issue’s theme? Him, of all people. He didn’t even realize that he was holding his breath in shock, until he looked back to the desk and all those articles and photos.

The beautiful models in casual clothes, running and having fun.

The golden chic and elegant gowns. 

It was different. So different.

Yet, the moment he looked down at those pictures, he had an answer.

Half a year ago, he would have pointed towards the colourful theme without batting an eyelid.

Now, however, his eyes lingered on the other theme. 

Gold. So much gold. The colours, the elegance. The warmth.

They made him think of Jongin. 

The gold reminded him of Jongin’s beautiful skin, the way it almost beamed under the light, the way he was always shining.

The elegance reminded him of how Jongin always carried himself, not just his clothes but his entire being – everything he did was beautiful and poised. 

And the warmth – it reminded him of Jongin’s smile. He didn’t think he’d ever seen anything warmer than that. 

His mouth felt dry as he finally pointed towards the left side of the desk. 

There was a barely visible smile on Jongin’s lips when he nodded. Kyungsoo almost burst with the delight and relief he felt in his chest. 

He just leaned back in the chair and stared as Jongin pulled the golden papers closer to himself and started writing notes on the sides, scratching out parts from the text and adding little things. Drawing arrows to indicate what pictures should be moved and made bigger. 

And Kyungsoo just stared. He could stare at him all night. 

He was watching the way the shirt tightly hugged Jongin’s body, how the pencil was dancing between his fingers, how exquisitely perfect he looked even when tired.

He was oozing power. He was in charge, the man behind everything, and Kyungsoo was just struck with awe and something else. Something like happiness. To be in the presence of a man like this. 

To be lucky enough to be more than just an employee to him. 

“Why is the trip to Japan a whole week?” he blurted out before he could stop himself. The question sounded awfully loud in the empty room, especially when Jongin stopped writing and looked at him with slightly raised eyebrows. “You only have your photoshoot on Monday, so why are we staying there the whole week?” 

“Why are you asking?” 

Kyungsoo blinked quickly, before eventually shrugging.

“We will have less than a week to finish the next month’s issue and all the documentation that comes with it,” Kyungsoo explained quietly. “Sehun and me, we’re just-…a bit confused, that’s all.” 

“I don’t see what you’re confused about,” Jongin said calmly, looking down to finish whatever he was writing, before putting the pencil down and removing the glasses from his nose. Then he stared at him, right at him, and Kyungsoo felt small. So small. “I just want to spend more time with you.”

The silence in the office was deafening. Kyungsoo was pretty sure he could hear his heartbeat picking up. He was pretty sure Jongin could hear it. 

His mouth opened, but no sound came out.

It was hard to compose himself when Jongin was still looking at him intently with that light smile on his gorgeous face. 

“I-“ Kyungsoo’s mouth was dry, as he shook his head. “Sehun would definitely not like the sound of that.” 

Jongin smiled wider at that, a childish glint in his eyes.

“What Sehun doesn’t know won’t kill him.” 

“But Sehun _will_ be there with you, every second of the day.” Kyungsoo slumped back in his chair. “We’re gonna get caught.” 

“I didn’t realize we were hiding.” 

Kyungsoo froze at the sound of that, shaking his head abruptly.

“You’re not serious, are you?” he asked, feeling stunned. “No…no, what if Sehun actually finds out? What will he _think_ of me then? What will _everybody_ in the magazine think of me? They’ll think I’m just a-…a low, gold digging-“ 

“That’s never going to happen,” Jongin cut him off before he could insult himself. Kyungsoo sighed out.

“A lot can happen between now and never.” 

Jongin’s eyebrows furrowed for a split second. 

“Between now and never,” he echoed silently in thought, before reaching out to hold Kyungsoo’s hand over the golden pictures for the next issue. His touch was warm and gentle, reassuring, as he squeezed his hand tightly in his. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think about it this way.” 

Kyungsoo looked down to their linked hands, feeling mixed emotions in his heart.

He closed his eyes when laughter bubbled in his throat. The chuckle escaped his lips before he could stop it.

“What’s funny?” Jongin asked, perching the glasses back on his nose. 

“If people did find out someday, maybe Baekhyun would actually get that before and after piece he wanted so much.”  

Kyungsoo scoffed at his own thought, while Jongin just stared at him blankly. 

“I don’t think that’s funny. Making fun of you would mean making fun of me,” the editor said, picking up his pencil again. He looked at him pointily. “I don’t like it when people make fun of me and what’s mine.”   

Kyungsoo was too busy processing the word ‘ _mine’_ to pay attention to the playful smirk that started playing at the corner of Jongin’s mouth. 

“And do you know what happens to people like that? People who insult me?” 

Kyungsoo had to bite down on his lip to stop himself from grinning. Something about the playful smile on Jongin’s lips was contagious, yet something about the serious glint in his eyes was alarming. 

“What?”

“Ask Human Resources tomorrow,” Jongin said, tapping his pencil on the papers and giving him one last smirk before returning to his work. “I’m pretty sure they have a long list of reasons for employee termination.” 

Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if Jongin was joking or not, he couldn’t quite tell, and that’s the reason his heart skipped a beat in excitement as he looked at him again. That same feeling of awe returned as he leaned on the desk and just drowned out in the sound of their breathing and the pencil scratching the paper. 

Awe and something else. Something more. 

* * *

“Alright,” Kyungsoo entered the tent that had been put up near the first shooting location on the cliffs of Shakotan peninsula. “The lights are all set and Minseok is ready.”

“And the security team has closed the area,” Sehun announced after looking up from his phone. “They say that there are a lot of tourists down at the beach, though. Maybe we should reconsider the second location?”

It was silent in the tent for a few moments, as Jongin’s make up artists pulled the brush away from his face and gave him the green light to move and speak again. 

And when he did, when he opened his beautiful eyes, now even deeper and more sensual because of the colour on his eyelids, the shading on his face and lips seemingly softer than ever, Kyungsoo forgot about work for a moment and just stared. 

Jongin stood up from the chair without even looking at the mirror twice, and started unbuttoning his shirt. 

“We’re not changing the location,” he said calmly and with certainty. “Sehun, you’ll go down to the location and help clear out the area. If needed, call the other security team down there as well. Start setting up the equipment so we can finish as fast as possible.”

“Alright,” Sehun nodded, as he darted out of the tent.

“Bring the satin shirt,” Jongin said next and the woman in the back straightened up at the command. “This one does not look good with those trousers. Besides, it is windy outside. We might as well make use of that. Have we heard back from the design team?”

Kyungsoo blinked quickly when the woman rushed past him and escaped the tent as well, undoubtedly, to run towards the van where the racks of clothes were hanging.

“Yes,” he almost squeaked out. “Junmyeon called and said they needed the samples from March 2018.”

“Very well,” Jongin said. “Tell Baekhyun to contact his team and have the samples sent over to HQ as soon as possible. We will need at least five blouses. And I’m thinking the Chanel miniskirts. Get black, white and orange ones. Two of each.”

Kyungsoo’s fingers were already dancing on the iPad, taking notes as Jongin just kept speaking. 

“Leave the rest to Krystal. Tell her we will need the Loewe ankle boots in each colour matching the blouses.” Jongin made a short pause and Kyungsoo’s hand barely caught up on his notes before he continued. “And sunglasses too. Ask Krystal if she can get her sister to send us samples from Blanc & Eclare.”

Kyungsoo was taking notes, all those words and commends echoing in his brain, until he saw Jongin’s hand appearing in his range of vision. Until Jongin’s hand pushed the iPad down slowly and Kyungsoo looked up to him. Those echoes slowly started sounding muted when he realized that he had been so caught up in taking notes to realize that everybody else had left the tent and It was just the two of them. 

It didn’t help that Jongin’s shirt was now unbuttoned, hanging loosely and revealing his toned body, and it definitely didn’t help that he was looking at him with those sharp eyes, and that those pink lips were parted and so close to his own. 

“ Are you okay?” he asked and Kyungsoo blinked at him. “You look tired.” 

Kyungsoo supposed he did. He was tired. They’d been travelling the whole day. Two flights, then a train, then a car ride. Then running on cliffs to arrange the photoshoot. He was tired.

But if he was tired, then everybody else on the team was too. 

His lips pulled back in a half smile, and his finger danced along the hem of Jongin’s unbuttoned shirt.

“I’m not the one that has to pose for photos now. Don’t worry about me.” 

Kyungsoo’s eyelids fluttered when Jongin’s palm found its way to his face, cupping his cheek. He leaned into the touch and let his face be guided forward, closer and closer until those pink lips were all he could see, until he felt Jongin’s breath on his skin. 

It’s all he wanted, all he needed. 

But the sour smile prevailed, and he raised his fingers to put over Jongin’s, ready to pull his hand away.

“Your stylist will be back any moment now.” 

Jongin inched closer to him then and Kyungsoo’s eyelids fluttered again. He closed his eyes when Jongin pressed their lips together quickly. Such a simple kiss, yet it made everything inside Kyungsoo turn in excitement. 

He almost whined when Jongin pulled back, breaking the kiss and slid his arm away from Kyungsoo’s face. 

“Tonight, then.” 

Kyungsoo’s heart stopped beating for a moment at the promise hanging in the air, at the sight of Jongin smirking at him and stepping back just before the wind entered the tent along with the stylist that was carrying three different hangers. 

He needed a few moments to collect his thoughts and all his scattered emotions, before he remembered the iPad in his hand and all the tasks he had to finish. 

He threw one last quick glance at Jongin, who was sliding the shirt off his shoulders. 

Tonight, Kyungsoo thought, feeling especially giddy. 

_ Tonight _ . 

* * *

It was beautiful. Absolutely breath-taking, standing on that cliff and witnessing the absolute beauty that Kim Jongin was. 

The wind was blowing hard, the satin clinging to Jongin’s body in elegant waves, his hair unruly. There was nothing behind him but the sight of the ocean, nothing but nature surrounding him on the cliffs of the island. 

“Alright, you’re becoming one with the wind,” Minseok was saying, snapping photos, the flashes going off every now and then. The teams with the lighting were following him around. “Fluid and smooth, but strong. Look over your shoulder towards the sea.” 

Kyungsoo was standing behind all the crew with Sehun, watching Jongin pose as told, the moves flowing one after another, the deliberate gazes towards the camera powerful and fierce, yet soft. 

He was born to do this. 

And Kyungsoo was in a daze. He didn’t feel tired anymore. This, he could watch forever. 

“So,” Baekhyun interrupted his thoughts, the chain hanging from his round glasses clinking whenever the wind pushed it. Kyungsoo thought he looked like a grandmother. “Your friend. When can I see him again?” 

Kyungsoo scoffed, an exasperated sound accompanied by a sharp look in the editor’s direction. 

“Didn't you get his number already?!” 

“I did,” Baekhyun hummed, his red hair looking like fire. “Can I get his address next?” 

“I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.” 

“Is it really?” Baekhyun laughed, bumping his shoulder against Kyungsoo’s. “Come on. Maybe I want to send him some pieces from my personal collection. You don’t know.” 

“Or you want to _show_ him your personal collection.” 

“I mean, that too, but hey!” 

Kyungsoo scoffed and rolled his eyes. Baekhyun just grinned, completely unaffected by all those people around them.

“Oh, come on. Don’t you want to be happy for me and your friend? We can even go on double dates.” Baekhyun threw an arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders. “ _If_ you ever get someone to like you despite that permanent frown on your face, that is. It causes wrinkles, you know?” 

Kyungsoo had to try hard not to scoff again. Instead, he shook Baekhyun off himself and twisted his arms in front of his chest instead.

“Maybe I _have_ someone already.” 

It seemed like everybody went silent for a few moments, even the wind. Kyungsoo just stared at Baekhyun with slightly raised eyebrows, waiting for him to say something. 

It was Sehun, however, who snorted first. 

“Yeah, right.” 

Kyungsoo breathed in, his eyes flashing towards Jongin – the deity on the cliff, looking more like a mirage than an actual human being. Even if he did tell them, they wouldn’t believe it. 

But he didn’t want to tell them. Not now. Not yet. 

He just shrugged instead.

“Listen, if Chanyeol wants you to have his address, he can give it to you himself. Just ask him.” 

He could hear Baekhyun complaining and whining on the side, but he chose to ignore him for the time being.

Instead, he focused back on his boss and the way he was so effortlessly making everything look so simple and beautiful. 

* * *

“The gateway to hell,” Baekhyun explained hotly as they escaped the changing room and the warmth of the water’s steam hit them. “That’s what they call it.” 

Kyungsoo was curiously looking around. It was beautiful. 

A gift from ELLE Japan for the Korean crew – a night at Noboribetsu onsen, its healing waters and a night in the traditional onsen ryokan. 

It was Kyungsoo’s first time at a hot spring. He hadn’t expected it to look so beautiful at night, the fairy lights decorating the strong pillars shining beautifully along the lanterns floating on the water. 

It was slightly mortifying, thinking about entering the water without the protection of his towel, but the steam made everything blurrier, it made his mind feel safer. It was relaxing.

The water was warm around him and the moment Kyungsoo finally dipped inside it, he let out a sigh. It felt like his exhaustion was starting to leave his body, floating away on the waters of the hot spring. 

The sake was served on a wooden tray that floated on the water and they had their drinks together as a team. The mood of everybody seemed to have improved significantly. 

Kyungsoo could feel Jongin’s intent stare. He was very much aware of the other man looking at him. 

However, Kyungsoo tried his best not to stare back. He knew that if he looked at Jongin now, for longer than usual, he wouldn’t be able to look away.

Not when Jongin’s naked chest peeked from the water, not when he could see his strong shoulders. Not when he looked so relaxed and so beautiful in the steam of the hot spring. Now was not the time to stare at him. Not was not the time to suffer like this. 

Yet, it was hard not to. Not when he was everything Kyungsoo wanted to look at. 

So hard. 

Especially hard not to when Jongin raised his hands and pushed his hair back, droplets of water falling from his hair. 

“More sake?” Sehun asked, and Kyungsoo straightened up, looking back at the second assistant. “Should I order more?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun cheered, the white towel messily wrapped on his head. “And should we also ask fi they can get us a room ready for dinner?” 

“Yes. Do that.” 

Kyungsoo blinked at Jongin when he heard their boss speaking for what seemed like the first time ever since they entered the water. 

Kyungsoo didn’t know if it was the steam, the smell of sulphur or Jongin’s gaze that made him feel so lightheaded. 

“Ask if they have yakitori!” Baekhyun called after Sehun who was heading out to speak to the innkeepers. 

“You have such cheap taste,” Minseok clicked his tongue. “Ask if they have shirako instead.” 

“Now why in the world would I eat _that_? It’s _disgusting_!” 

“It’s a delicacy!” 

Kyungsoo was too busy listening to the photographer and the designer bickering to realize that Jongin had snuck out from between them. Too busy to notice him until he felt fingers wrapping around his elbow under the water and pulling him to the side. 

Jongin didn’t stop walking and guiding him forward until they were far enough from the rest of their team to see nothing but steam between them. 

Far enough until they reached the large stones at the corner of the onsen. 

Kyungsoo was about to ask Jongin what he wanted, to tell him something, anything really, but Jongin’s hands grabbed his face and pulled him forward. 

He kissed him then, nothing like that small and simple kiss from this morning at the cliffs. 

He crashed their lips together fiercely, nothing but need and want and lust in the movement of his tongue against his. Kyungsoo’s hands flailed around uselessly in surprise when Jongin pushed him against the stone, his back pressed against it while Jongin continued kissing him. 

Kyungsoo was suddenly very aware of how hot It was. How hot the steam was, how hot his body felt, how hot Jongin’s lips on his were. Hot. So goddamn hot. 

He couldn’t find it within himself to worry about the others seeing them, even though the stone and steam were blocking their view. He couldn’t find it within himself to worry about anything but the feeling of Jongin pressing his body against his. 

Kyungsoo was pretty sure his face was red already – due to the heat of the hot springs and the heat in his body. Jongin was so close, he was pressing against him, _all of him_ , naked under the water.

Jongin moved his head back then, for just a moment, before diving down to press his lips against Kyungsoo’s jawline and down his neck. His hands slid down from his face to his chest, until they settled for his waist, pulling him closer and pressing their bodies even tighter. 

It was hard to keep the little mewls to himself.

Kyungsoo finally regained control over his arms, guiding them to Jongin’s chest and sliding them down the smooth skin. 

And once he touched him, he could not stop. 

His fingers slid over Jongin’s abs, feeling the firm muscles under his fingertips. His brain was in a haze – he was touching Jongin. Jongin was touching him. 

And it felt so, so good. 

“Stop,” Kyungsoo found the willpower within himself to croak out. Jongin kissed his neck again, biting on his skin lightly, before eventually pulling back the slightest bit to look at him. Kyungsoo felt like such a wreck in his arms. He was pretty sure he _looked_ like a wreck too, judging by the little satisfied glint in Jongin’s eyes. “The others- “ 

“Are too busy being crackheads.” 

“It’s a public onsen,” Kyungsoo breathed out a shattered breath. “Anybody can walk in here and see us and you’re-…you’re making this really hard for me, okay?” 

Kyungsoo’s breath hitched when Jongin deliberately pressed their bodies together again, very much aware of that stiffness between his legs. He felt his cheeks heating up at the little smirk that pulled Jongin’s lips. 

“I noticed.” 

Kyungsoo pursed his lips, before gently tapping Jongin’s chest. The other man seemed to get the hint, because he finally moved back, letting go of Kyungsoo’s waist. He breathed out, feeling both relief and regret at the same time. 

“You looked very beautiful today,” Kyungsoo said quietly, his voice getting drowned by the sound of water splashing when Jongin floated back on the water. A smile tugged on his lips.

“Did I?” 

“Don’t you always?” 

Jongin smiled again, when he looked at him.

“So did you.” 

Kyungsoo looked down with a small scoff, trying to will the heat away from his face, before shaking his head. 

He didn’t expect Jongin to come closer again, to grab his chin between two fingers and to raise his face so their eyes would meet.

“You did,” he repeated quietly, hair falling over his eyes, but he never looked away from him. “Don’t you know how beautiful you are, Kyungsoo?” 

He felt speechless. 

Never in his wildest dreams had he ever imagined Jongin to call him beautiful while playing with his hair and holding his face. 

Never in his wildest dreams had he ever thought he’d feel like this for someone. 

He wanted to cherish this moment, to make It last forever. 

But Sehun’s voice cut through the distant silence, announcing that the owners of the inn would set up the room for their dinner while they showered. 

“Kyungsoo?” Sehun’s voice resounded around them, louder than before, and Kyungsoo let out a quick breath before sliding out from Jongin’s touch. He stepped back just when Sehun appeared at the other side of the wooden deck. 

He spotted them then, eyes flashing from Kyungsoo to Jongin, and if he thought it was weird that they were together in the furthest part of the hot spring, he didn’t say anything about it. Kyungsoo did, however, see that unmistakable piercing and questioning gaze that lasted less than a second before Sehun looked away from him and raised his arm. 

“I have your yukatas here. Let’s go?” 

Kyungsoo nodded, sending one last quick look towards Jongin before he started moving away.

What he saw was a very composed and calm man, a hint of a smile on his lips.

Kyungsoo wished _he_ had that sort of self-control. 

Instead, he hurried to take the towel and yukata from Sehun’s hands, wrapping it around himself in a hurry. He needed a shower. 

He needed a shower asap. 

* * *

“I did _not_ come to Japan to leave without taking photos for Instagram,” Baekhyun announced after their dinner. “Minseok, mind taking some pictures of me in front of the ryokan?”

“I was actually about to sleep and-“

“That wasn’t really a question, sweetheart.” Baekhyun hooked an arm under the photographer’s hand. Sehun perked up at the sight of that.

“Wait! I want pictures too!”

“Then grab the _geta_ and let’s go!”

Kyungsoo shook his head when Baekhyun looked at him inquiringly He was too tired to go out for a stroll and to harass the poor photographer who had been working the whole day. 

“Jongin?”

“Nah,” his boss said. “I still have some paperwork to look over and then I’ll sleep. I’m tired.”

“Well then,” Baekhyun shrugged, not really interested. “Good night!”

Before anybody could say anything else, Baekhyun started dragging Minseok to the opposite side of the hallway. Sehun threw a look towards Kyungsoo, an unreadable one, before turning around and hurrying after them. 

“I guess we’re alone now,” Jongin mused quietly when the others finally disappeared from that sight and Kyungsoo nodded breathlessly. “Do you want to stay with me tonight?”

Kyungsoo was pretty sure his brain cracked. His mind went into overdrive and then nothing. A blank. Jongin broke his brain. 

He didn’t know what to think. He didn’t know how to sort his thoughts.

All he knew was that the heat started filling his entire body again and that he was more than ready to agree. At the subtle nod, Jongin just smiled down at him and started leading the way down the hallway to the biggest room that had been booked for him. 

Kyungsoo’s mouth felt dry when Jongin pulled the sliding door open and let him enter first. His eyes flashed to the futon that had been set on the ground of the traditional room. There was a table to the side with ingredients for tea. 

And then his eyes flashed back to the futon. 

And then to Jongin, who had closed the door now. 

_ Tonight _ , the word echoed in Kyungsoo’s mind and he felt panic rising in his chest. Not the panic that made one anxious, not the panic that made him nervous. It was that sweet sort of panic, anticipation. 

Jongin was the first one to sit down on the futon, fingers reaching out to grab his phone from the little table and check it. 

A little frown appeared on his face and Kyungsoo’s brow twitched at the sight.

“What’s wrong?”

Jongin looked up to him, then shook his head. He dropped the phone back on the ground and lied down on the futon, a sigh escaping his lips when his head rested on the pillow. He closed his eyes.

“It’s work. But I don’t want to deal with it tonight.”

“Do you need me to-“

“All I need you to do is come here.”

Kyungsoo blinked in surprise at how Jongin patted the empty side of the futon, his eyes still closed and face relaxing more and more with every passing second. 

He was tired, Kyungsoo could tell. He was so, so tired from travelling and working all day long, and now that exhaustion was finally catching up to him. He could see it in the way Jongin’s chest was starting to heave up and down slower and slower, his breaths becoming deeper. 

Kyungsoo couldn’t help the fond smile that bloomed on his face as he watched Jongin finally resting, he couldn’t help the warmth that replaced that anticipation and worry from earlier.

Instead, he lied down on the futon carefully, next to Jongin. He didn’t hesitate to raise his hand and intertwine their fingers. 

He, too, felt a sigh leaving his lips when he finally rested his head. Everything became lightheaded. He didn’t know if it was the relaxing effect of the hot springs, or if it was just the content in his heart, but he felt safe and he felt happy. 

A little yelp escaped his lips when Jongin shifted and lied on his side, when he pulled him closer and wrapped a hand around him. 

He placed a gentle kiss on his forehead then, before tucking his head under his chin. 

“Good night, Kyungsoo,” his boyfriend said, voice a little slurred and raspy. 

Kyungsoo smiled widely, nuzzling his face into Jongin’s chest and wrapping his fingers tightly around Jongin’s yukata.

* * *

Kyungsoo felt incredibly warm, and that faint light wasn’t helping. Neither did that reassuring and soft touch on the side of his head.

He lazily cracked his eyes open, to only have his breath hitch at how close Jongin’s face was to his on the pillow, at how the other man was looking at him. That touch on the side of his head was Jongin’s hand, his fingers playing with his hair. 

Jongin seemed to startle a little when he noticed Kyungsoo was awake, looking at him. He let out a breath, his hand immediately retreating from his hair.

“Did I wake you? I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t.”

Jongin’s face was a little puffy from sleep and Kyungsoo didn’t think he’d ever seen something as cute as his chubby cheeks and puffy lips. He smiled when Jongin put his hand on top of his and started playing with his fingers.

“You know, I’ve been looking at you sleeping for about fifteen minutes-“

“And that’s not creepy at all.”

“-and all I kept thinking is how beautiful you are.” Jongin said, ignoring Kyungsoo’s remark. “And I just kept wondering, how could I not notice this from the moment you stepped into my office for the first time?”

Kyungsoo shrugged as best as he could while lying down, absentmindedly noting that the knot on Jongin’s yukata was undone. That it was hanging loosely around his shoulders, his collarbones showing. 

“I was wearing pants from Costco and that old briefcase that Sehun wanted to burn. There was nothing for you to notice.”

“I don’t mean your clothes.” Jongin scoffed, finger moving up to Kyungsoo’s face, tracing his lips. “Yixing really was right.”

“Oh my _God_ ,” Kyungsoo rolled away on his back, a smile blooming on his face. “Will you _ever_ let this go?” 

Jongin’s face broke into a smile too, then, as he moved and suddenly, he was on top of Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo laughed when the other man trapped him between the ground and his body. It hit him then, how beautiful this moment was. How he had forgotten for a little while that Jongin was his boss and that he was only his second assistant. 

This moment was beautiful, because it was just the two of them – just Jongin and just Kyungsoo. 

And maybe his heart felt so much more than awe and admiration. Something so much more. 

Jongin leaned down to press their lips together briefly. Just a subtle touch, a soft, gentle kiss. 

Kyungsoo tugged on the loose knot of Jongin’s yukata. He felt his boyfriend smiling in the kiss as he leaned down to kiss him again. 

It was, indeed, beautiful, when he could forget for a while about everything. About the world they lived in and pay attention to Jongin only. 

Someone’s phone started buzzing. Kyungsoo knew for a fact it wasn’t his own, since Jongin was right next to him – on top of him, actually – it couldn’t be him with tasks so early in the morning. 

Jongin let out a quiet groan after checking his phone.

“I’m sorry, I have to take this.”

Kyungsoo just smiled as the other man rolled off him and stood up from the futon.

“Junmyeon.”

Kyungsoo sat up in the futon, putting a hand over his racing heart. He watched as Jongin retreated to the sliding door of the balcony, the yukata loosely hanging around his body and his hair sticking out in all directions from sleep. 

He was beautiful. 

Kyungsoo buzzed out the talking, he didn’t pay attention to Jongin speaking about features and edits on articles – it was still too early in the morning for him to think about all that. Instead, he shuffled closer to the little table with the tea ingredients.

He was about to make tea for both of them, when his eyes fell on something else.

There, at the corner of the table, was a book – a magazine, with a golden cover and VOGUE’s black logo on top. 

There were notes sticking out from the pages and when Kyungsoo pulled it closer, he recognizes Jongin’s writing. A mock-up.

The mock-up magazine for the April issue, with that singer on the cover in the golden gown, with all those pictures Jongin had been going over the other night in the office, with all his notes finally assembled in order. 

Kyungsoo was about to look away from it with a little smile, appreciating the fact that Jongin did, in fact, take his opinion into consideration. He was about to look away and start making tea, when another note caught his attention. Plastered on the cover, with Jongin’s beautiful handwriting on it – a quick scribble.

_ Between now and never.  _

Kyungsoo blinked at it quickly, as he pulled the mock-up even closer. 

His eyes traced the cover, before he realized why Jongin’s scribble was on that note. 

The main feature on the magazine. 

Jongin had picked his little choice of words from the other day as the title of the article. 

Kyungsoo picked up the magazine with the golden cover in his hands as the smile pulled his lips back. He felt unexplainable happiness bursting inside him, as he hugged the magazine close to his chest. 

And in this moment, as he listened to Jongin’s quiet voice in the background, as he looked at his back on the balcony, he felt nothing but complete happiness and awe.

And something more. Always something more.

 

 

twitter: @jongnugget


	11. Chapter 11

11

 

   (or 10,5)

 

“Well would you look at that,” Jongdae’s voice was shrill and loud when Kyungsoo approached their usual table in the bar. “I didn’t realize we were going to Seoul Fashion Week.”

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo laughed quietly, taking his seat naturally. Jongdae just raised his eyebrows.

“I’m just saying. It’s like I’m drinking with one of those stuck up snobs we used to make fun of in college, except it’s you. It’s just weird, you know.”

Kyungsoo didn’t take it to heart. Ever since he had started dressing up, ever since he had discovered that there was, maybe, some joy in trying hard to look your best, ever since he had started investing more than usual in his outfits and accepting more and more clothes from the wardrobes in VOGUE that Baekhyun would just give away like Santa on Christmas, Jongdae had decided that peak comedy would ensue when he poked fun at him. Kyungsoo agreed. It was kind of ironic. 

“I see bags,” Jongdae smirked, as he pushed a beer towards Kyungsoo. “Did you get me a present from Japan?”

“I did, jackass, but now I’m starting to think you don’t deserve it.”

“But I do,” Chanyeol chided in. “Give me my presents, daddy.” 

“You say that one more time and all you’re getting is a punch in the face,” Kyungsoo laughed again. He felt light, so light.

So happy and so free. It had been a while since he had been able to go out for drinks with his best friends. 

And after their amazing trip in Japan, he had so much to tell them about. 

For starters, he had decided today would be a good day to finally tell them about himself and Jongin. It was about time they knew. About time someone knew. Kyungsoo needed someone to shriek at about all his feelings and insecurities. And there was no person he could think of he’d rather tell first than his two best friends. 

And after that he would tell them all about Jongin, about how sweet he was when it was just the two of them. He’d tell them about the late-night walks on the beautiful streets of Hokkaido, he’d tell them about Jongin treating the entire team to rich dinners, he’d tell them about those light forehead kisses and warm hugs. He’d tell them how his heart always skipped a beat whenever Jongin smiled at him. 

He reached down to pick up the bags before shoving them in each boy’s chest. Jongdae looked at the bag curiously, while Chanyeol resembled a puppy when he excitedly started rummaging through the paper. 

“Hey,” Kyungsoo remembered suddenly while watching his friend. “Did Baekhyun call you?” 

Chanyeol seemed startled at the sound of the editor’s name, because he seemingly forgot about the present in his hands. He looked up, fingers fumbling with the paper.

“Yeah,” the man said, barely containing his smile. His ears were starting to look kind of red. “Yeah, he did.”

“I can’t believe what’s happening to this friend group.” Jongdae sighed out dramatically, hand clutching at his heart. “One of us sold his soul for designer coats and shirts and another one started dating a designer.”

While Chanyeol laughed cheerfully and then continued rummaging through the bag he was given, Kyungsoo pulled the beer to his lips, taking one brave sip, before clearing his throat. Now was a good time to bring it up, he supposed. As good a time as any. 

“About that…I actually have something to tell you.”

* * *

The following week after their return from Japan was hectic. Not only did they have little to no time to finish up all arrangements before the printing of the April issue would begin, but also pressing inquiries about the following months’ magazines were coming in daily. Aside from that, him and Sehun had to keep track of Jongin’s projects and interviews, of his personal schedule along with the development of the magazine, and every little whim he had.

To say that week was exhausting, both physically and emotionally, would be an understatement.

Kyungsoo felt, for the most part, dead on the inside and there wasn’t much he could do to make the long days at work feel any less tiring. Nobody could, really. Sehun was drinking _too_ much coffee, Jongin was showing up in the office early in the morning, unlike all those other times he’d appear short before lunch. Hell, even Baekhyun seemed to have had his usual grin wiped off his face for a little while as he rushed in and out of their office, bringing different samples and sketches, designs and articles with different questions and notes all over them. Everybody had a hard time.

If anything, at least those short, stolen moments he had with only Jongin, no matter how rare during this week – they felt sweet and precious, especially after he had managed to open up so much more. Those little brushes of their fingers late at night, or the lingering stares as one of them left the room, or even the quick ‘Good Night’ texts sent in the darkest hours of the night – they all made Kyungsoo’s heart flutter with excitement despite the dark circles under his eyes growing.

It was on that Friday, at 12 o’clock at noon, that he finally felt all that weight from his shoulders falling. It seemed like the entire office got brighter, like everybody collectively dropped a ton of weight off their shoulders, as they finally submitted the final draft of the mock-up and gave a green light for the printing to start.

The rest of the afternoon felt leisure, compared to the hell of the previous days.

Even with editors and designers, stylists and models storming in for the run through in Jongin’s office, it felt so much easier than everything before it.

When everything was finally set up, Kyungsoo grabbed his pad and gave an absentminded smile to Sehun, before he entered the office, too, about to keep the protocol as the second assistant.

The run-through, as always, was rather eventful. Everybody had different opinions, throwing them in and driving poor Seulgi absolutely mad as she had to change every minute. Jongin was leaning on his desk, eyes as sharp as a hawk’s as he watched everything. Kyungsoo diligently kept taking notes every time an outfit was finally put together and approved for a photoshoot.

“This is from Loewe?”  Jongin pursed his lips at the coat that Krystal offered. “I don’t like it.”

“What about this?” Baekhyun pulled on something transparent hanging among all the coats. Jongin seemed intrigued, as he nodded.

Seulgi quickly put on the coat over the tight black turtleneck she was wearing.

“A vinyl trench coat?” Junmyeon frowned, his eyebrows furrowing. “Didn’t we have something similar to that back in 2017?”

“No, it was a jacket,” Krystal replied, producing black sock-boots out of nowhere and passing them on to Seulgi. “And if we pair it up with the right accessories-“

“Do you still have the spare eyeglasses from Blanc & Eclare?” Jongin interrupted and Krystal nodded, immediately pulling out a box and presenting it to him.

Kyungsoo watched as Jongin chose a pair of very angular sunglasses and gave them to Seulgi.

Kyungsoo looked at the model in the middle of the room. She was wearing black bike shorts, and that see through plastic coat was falling below their hem. Kyungsoo didn’t know what to think. He just bit on his lip, taking another look at her.

At this point, he’d learned a few things. Like, fashion wasn’t necessarily about looking good, especially not high fashion. It was about being unique. It was about making a statement. Now, he wasn’t completely sure what the statement was in this outfit, but he was just starting to understand. He was proud of himself for even having come this far.

“We need a hat for this,” Jongin said suddenly, and Baekhyun dove towards the boxes. 

Chaos ensued in the office then, people looking for different hats, boxes being exchanged. When a hat wasn’t produced in over thirty seconds, Kyungsoo noticed Jongin raising his eyebrows just the tiniest bit, on that fine line between bored and annoyed.

“Today, please.”

“What if we use a tiara?” Krystal offered and Jongin just crunched up his nose in distaste. “A headband then?”

“No.”

Kyungsoo quickly scribbled down that exchange, before leaning down to watch Baekhyun and Junmyeon rummaging through a box in the corner.

“Why are you not prepared?” Jongin ended up sighing out and pushing himself off the edge of the desk, approaching the model in the middle of the room. “Am I asking for too much when I ask you to come to the run through with ready ideas and sorted outfits? Am I reaching for the stars?”

Kyungsoo would have felt bad for the editors and designers if he wasn’t too busy looking at the way Jongin reached out to fix the collar of the vinyl trench coat. He picked up some silver bracelets that were displayed on the table next to them and handed them to Seulgi. She quickly put them on as instructed.

Now, Kyungsoo did feel bad for the editors and designers who were still struggling with the boxes when jongin turned around and there was still no hat waiting for his approval. Kyungsoo saw the less than disappointed and more than sharp look in his brown eyes, a look he had seen all too well in the months since he had started working here. It was when he realized that sharp words would follow, and feelings would be hurt.

He looked around for boxes, with the full intention to help everybody, when he spotted yet another few boxes stacked up on the side. There were two hats on one of them. One was a bucket hat with silver hoops hanging from the side, the other was a beanie with some obnoxious crystals on the side.

Kyungsoo leaned down to grab the bucket hat before Jongin could speak.

“What about this one?”

He didn’t expect all eyes in the office to turn towards him, all editors to look at him as if he had fallen on Earth from another planet.

There was a rather cold look in Krystal’s eyes, like she was wondering when the hell he started understanding fashion and why the hell he thought he was allowed to speak at all. That, or it was just her face. He couldn’t quite tell with her and Sehun.

Junmyeon looked mostly confused, as his eyes flashed from Kyungsoo to the bucket hat he was holding, and then to Jongin. And then back again.

Baekhyun was the only one who seemed genuinely surprised in a good way. He didn’t look like he wanted to murder Kyungsoo, so that, for one, was a good thing. In fact, he almost looked relieved that the attention of the boss wasn’t on them anymore.

And the boss…the editor in chief. He was looking at him with a blank expression – that blank expression that Kyungsoo had started hating so much ever since him and Jongin started seeing each other. He hated it because Jongin had completely mastered it – keeping his emotions hidden and not letting in anybody on his thoughts. And it was like torture to Kyungsoo, who felt so helpless and insignificant in the room with all those prominent and important people in the magazine.

He was about to lower his arm and go back to his little corner and die in shame and regret for even speaking up, but Jongin stepped towards him then. He took the bucket hat from his hand and that contemplating, blank expression wasn’t directed at Kyungsoo anymore, all the focus had been moved to the bucket hat with its three silver hoops.

He watched as Jongin moved back to Seulgi and put the hat on her head, before stepping back and carefully looking at it. It felt like a lifetime, before he finally moved and spoke.

“Good,” he announced in the silence of the room. “I like this.”

And Kyungsoo felt relief spreading in his chest at that, and he knew Jongin actually meant it, because if there was anything he had learned about Kim Jongin, it was that he always took his work seriously. He wouldn’t have just said that if he didn’t really think it looked okay.

Kyungsoo contained the sigh that bubbled in his throat and instead started scribbling down in his notebook again.

The designers and editors seemed to have gone past their initial moment of shock, because they suddenly started throwing in their ideas again.

“If we’re going for casual and futuristic, we might also add gloves?” Junmyeon suggested, picking up some metallic gloves.

“Yes. Yes, let’s try that. Maybe just one glove.”

As Kyungsoo’s heart resumed beating and as the run through continued, he let himself look at Seulgi once. She looked like a sci-fi goth fisherman. Woman.

Whatever.

He didn’t know how all those random items worked together, but they somehow did. And somehow, Kyungsoo felt pride inside him.

Because maybe, hard work sometimes paid off.

Because maybe, when Jongin caught his gaze in the middle of yet another outfit change, and a ghost of a smile played on his lips, and his eyes blinked in a playful and reassuring wink, Kyungsoo _knew_ that it did.

* * *

Jongin was wearing a black low turtleneck and black trousers, with black pointy shoes. His coat was checkered, reaching his knees. Kyungsoo thought that it was kind of ridiculous – how Jongin’s outfits were so simple sometimes, yet so goddamn impactful. He always looked good, no matter what he wore. His taste was great, his body was great. It was perfect. 

The wind would sometimes blow in their faces, and Jongin’s soft hair would fly back with his coat and he was so _beautiful_ under the lights in the dark alleys of the park. 

He was so beautiful and with that small smile on his lips, a happy and relaxed one, he looked serene. 

They were just walking down the alleys of the park aimlessly, talking about everything and nothing in the same time. And Kyungsoo found himself enjoying their time together so much, he felt full of energy despite the tiring week and having worked all day before that. But it was Friday night, and he knew he had the whole weekend ahead, and he had Jongin’s company this evening and that was enough to make him happy.

“Have you eaten?” Jongin asked all of a sudden.

“No, not yet.”

“Should we get some food then? I’m kind of hungry too.”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo nodded. Food sounded good right now. Besides, it had been a while since he had seen Jongin stuffing his face with food. There was something adorable about seeing him like that. 

“What should we get then?” Jongin whipped out his phone. “We can go to BLT Steak if you want, I can call the driver.”

BLT Steak. Kyungsoo almost laughed when he heard the name. It was that fancy and obnoxiously expensive steak restaurant where Jongin and Yixing always went for their business meetings. 

Extravagant and lavish. That’s really not what he needed tonight. 

Instead, he whipped his head around, scanning the different alleys of the park. He didn’t even realize how it took next to no bravery on his part to actually hook his hand under Jongin’s elbow and link their arms together.

“How about something different?”

“Different?” Jongin asked, his eyebrows arching in suspicion.

Kyungsoo just grinned as he dragged the taller man forward. 

* * *

The night market was lively at this hour of the evening. The food stalls were lining both sides of the street. 

Jongin had looked a bit taken aback that Kyungsoo had dragged him there, but slowly a certain glint appeared in his eyes as they started walking down the street. As Kyungsoo explained excitedly what was good and what was bad, Jongin was just silently listening to him, looking at him with that soft look in his eyes, and soaking in every word he said. 

In the end, Kyungsoo had decided to get a spiral-cut potato. Jongin had picked chicken skewers. 

It was definitely a sight to see – Kim Jongin, editor in chief of VOGUE Korea, walking down the simple night market looking like he jumped straight off a runway and eating chicken skewers, the fascination of a child lighting up his face. 

Kyungsoo realized, as he just stared at him quietly and chewed on his potato, that he maybe knew what that something else was.

That he was absolutely terrified by it.

Jongin let out an almost moan around a mouthful of chicken, and then turned to him.

“This is _so good_!” he mused.

Kyungsoo smiled. He definitely knew.

He was so in love. 

He didn’t have time to linger on that anymore, because Jongin spoke to him again, a quiet laugh interrupting his thoughts.

“How do you even eat that?” 

Kyungsoo blinked towards his tornado potato. 

“You just kinda have to push it up. Or just work your way around it,” he shrugged, lifting the potato. ”Here, do you want to try?”

Jongin seemed excited when he nodded and Kyungsoo’s heart swelled. He raised his hand towards Jongin’s mouth, his skin tickled where Jongin wrapped his hand around it and guided the food closer to himself. 

They sure stood out, both of them dressed too well for a place like this – even him. But he didn’t care one bit, not when he could watch Jongin nibbling on the side of the potato snack, dusting off crumbs from himself as if he was wearing a bib and not a 2000$ Burberry coat. 

“This is good, too,” Jongin said with a smile, raising his own food to Kyungsoo’s lips. “Try mine.”

Kyungsoo felt a heat creeping on his cheeks, as he nodded. He tried to contain the smile when he opened his mouth and accepted the food, teeth wrapping around the piece of chicken, before sliding it off the wooden stick. 

“Oh ‘y God!” Kyungsoo yelped almost instantly, eyes widening. “ _It’s hot_!” 

As he struggled with he chicken that was slightly burning the inside of his mouth, torn between spewing it out and just swallowing it and ending up just jumping around in his spot mouth halfway open as he whined, he absentmindedly saw Jongin’s eyes widening a little.

And then he heard the brightest, dorkiest laugh in the world and for a moment there he forgot about the too hot chicken and instead focused on Jongin laughing in front of him with a wide-open mouth and face all crunched up. He was _adorable_. And his laugh – it was infectious and so _dumb_ and Kyungsoo _loved_ it. 

“Shu’ up!” he bumped him instead and hurried to swallow the half-chewed bite, before it’d do any more damage. 

Jongin seemed to collect himself then, a little bit at least – there was still a smile dancing on his lips, but his eyebrows twitched in apology and concern, as he lunged forward to hold Kyungsoo’s face in his arms. That chicken skewer in his fingers was dangerously close to Kyungsoo’s hair.

“Sorry,” Jongin said, the laughter still audible in his voice. “I’m sorry, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Kyungsoo grumbled.

“I’m sorry for laughing,” Jongin apologized again, but his lips were still stretched in a soft smile and that was all Kyungsoo could pay attention to. “You just looked so adorable.”

“I am glad my suffering entertains you,” Kyungsoo said. He almost hummed to himself. That would explain a big portion of their workdays. 

“I’m sorry,” Jongin repeated with a now more serious face, leaning down to press their lips together briefly in the middle of the night market. He pulled back with raised eyebrows and smile still as charming and beautiful. “Really.”

“Apology accepted,” Kyungsoo pulled him forward. “Let’s get some tteokbokki.”

Jongin was more than happy to follow. They walked down to the next stall, lining up. They ordered just one portion. ‘ _We can share, no?_ ’, Jongin asked with a raise of his eyebrows and Kyungsoo just smirked.  

He was about to pull his wallet out and pay, when Jongin’s hand stopped him.

“No,” the man said. “Please, let me. You already paid for the other food.”

“So?” Kyungsoo scoffed. “You already paid for every other date we’ve been on.”

“That doesn’t matter.” Jongin shook his head, reaching down in his pocket to pull out a card. He stretched his arm out over the food stall towards the owner, who just gave him a funny look.

It was Kyungsoo’s turn to laugh. 

Except, unlike Jongin, he actually tried to hide it, raisin an arm to cover his face as he stifled his chuckles. Rich people could be so funny sometimes. 

“I’m sorry, we only accept cash,” the man behind the cart said and Jongin just stared at him like he had started speaking a foreign language. 

Figures. Of course Jongin didn’t carry cash on himself. Maybe cause cash was for broke bitches, like himself, Kyungsoo supposed, as he stifled yet another chuckle when Jongin turned to look at him as if he had committed some sort of betrayal.

“You were saying?” Kyungsoo teased, as he pulled out two bills from his wallet and handed them to the owner of the stall. Jongin just crunched up his nose.

They walked down the street, sharing one little bowl of hot tteokbokki in the chilly spring evening and it was so beautiful and so nice. Jongin seemed to be scandalized by the fact that places weren’t accepting cards in 2019. Kyungsoo thought that was hilarious. 

By the time they were finished with the food, they had escaped the main street and Kyungsoo had to stifle a yawn. Jongin seemed to notice. 

“Let me walk you home?” he offered gently and Kyungsoo let out a quiet laugh.

“My home is like half an hour’s walk from here. It’s a long way.”

“I get to spend more time with you then,” Jongin shrugged. 

Kyungsoo didn’t really have anything to say against that, so he just smiled and started walking with Jongin by his side. 

It was a beautiful evening, and it was a fun time he had with his boyfriend. 

_ Boyfriend _ . It sounded weird even in his thoughts, calling Jongin his _boyfriend_. 

But he was, and Kyungsoo didn’t think he’d ever felt more lightheaded and happier than he did now. 

It was about twenty minutes later and a block away from Kyungsoo’s apartment building, when they were passing by one of the bigger streets in his neighbourhood, when a girl approached them. She separated from her group of friends and walked towards them with intent and slightly widened eyes.

“Uh, excuse me,” she started and Kyungsoo blinked quickly when he saw her looking at the man with him hesitantly. “You’re Kim Jongin, no?”

_ Ah.  _

Kyungsoo held his breath as he watched Jongin politely nodding and suddenly – suddenly he didn’t look like his boyfriend Jongin. Suddenly he was model Jongin all over again. Designer Jongin. Editor-in-chief of VOGUE Jongin. All poise and elegance and power. 

“Oh my God,” the girl let out an excited shriek. “I’m such a huge fan of your work. Your work with Ralph Lauren two years ago inspired me to enrol in a fashion school. I’m studying to be a designer.”

Kyungsoo just looked at the exchange silently from the side. How Jongin kept his work-smile on, as he politely thanked the girl with a light bow and how he asked, maybe out of curiosity or maybe out of courtesy, about her work. She seemed all too happy to reply. 

He just let a little smile pull his lip back. A maybe not so happy smile, a maybe kind of bitter smile. 

Because no matter how much fun they had, no matter how happy they were and no matter how amazing everything was, it never really would be real, would it? There was a constant reminder, that Jongin was _Jongin_ and that he was just himself – the overly ambitious journalist student who had decided to try something new just so he wouldn’t be unemployed. 

The sigh was starting to build up in his chest as his eyes glassed over and he didn’t quite pay attention to that girl in front of him spazzing in joy and happiness. They were talking about clothes and about designers and inspirations and Kyungsoo completely tuned out. 

Clothes, designers, fashion, outfits. That hadn’t been Kyungsoo’s world until only a few months ago. And to someone like Jongin, whom fashion was simply a part of, he wondered what this exactly meant.

He wondered what a man like Jongin ever saw in someone like him. What he even liked about him, because he’d never really talked about it. It was a troubling though, a thought aiming straight at all his insecurities and firing gasoline to an already existing turmoil. 

“Can I please get your autograph?”

“Of course,” Jongin replied with his sweet honey voice and quickly signed the diary that the girl handed him. “Good luck with your works! Maybe we will meet again in the future!” 

Kyungsoo snapped out of his trance when he saw the girl retreating and when Jongin finally returned his attention to him, a little oblivious smile on his lips, as he put a hand on Kyungsoo’s back and they continued walking down the street. 

Kyungsoo somehow couldn’t shake off those mood dampening thoughts out of his system, while Jongin continued chatting as cheerfully as before, as if their conversation hadn’t even stopped flowing.  Kyungsoo tried to chide himself, to yell at himself to stop being so unnecessarily dramatic and overly pessimistic, because they had a good time. They had a fun time. If they didn’t, Jongin wouldn’t have been by his side right now, walking him home at eleven pm in the dark little streets of distant neighbourhoods. 

Yet, the little annoying voice in his head kept reminding him just how different they were and Kyungsoo felt like he would start crying if he didn’t stop thinking about it in the next thirty seconds.

“Are you okay?” Jongin asked, stopping in his spot. Kyungsoo looked up to realize that they were just across his building’s front door already and that Jongin was looking at him with genuine concern on his handsome face. “You look troubled. Is everything alright?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo hurried to say, shaking his head. “Yes, everything’s fine. I’m fine.”

He expected Jongin to just nod and go with it. What he didn’t expect was Jongin putting his hands on his shoulders and the crease between his furrowed eyebrows deepening. 

“I’m very good at two things in this world and one of them is detecting liars,” the man said, his hands squeezing Kyungsoo’s shoulders. “What is it? Did I say something?”

“No!” Kyungsoo said, quickly, too loudly. “No, it’s not you. It’s just…”

“Just what?”

Kyungsoo took in a deep breath, trying to avoid Jongin’s sharp eyes focused on him. That same look he had earlier today during the run through while looking at the outfit Seulgi was wearing was now in his eyes again – sharp and calculating and so focuses and Kyungsoo’s knees were feeling wobbly. He closed his eyes for a moment.

“I was just wondering why a person like you would ever like a person like me.” 

The silence that fell between them was heavy and Kyungsoo didn’t have the guts to look up and look Jongin in the eyes. Not when that grip on his shoulders loosened a little. 

_ Way to go _ , he almost cursed out loud, _you just ruined the evening_. He wanted to kick himself. 

It took him a long moment to take a deep breathe and to gather the courage to look up. 

Jongin’s eyes were just as sharp, and his expression was unreadable and Kyungsoo let out a sigh.

“I know it’s dumb,” he said quietly. “But I can’t help but feel that you just deserve someone better, someone from your world, and I don’t understand why you’d choose someone like me who is no-“

“Why a person like me would ever like a person like you?” Jongin interrupted him, voice a little low and hoarse when he hummed and Kyungsoo felt a shiver running up his spine. “Let’s see. Well, first of all, you’re smart.”

Kyungsoo blinked in surprise when Jongin’s hands slid down his arms and he held on to his hands tightly. Jongin looked absolutely serious and sincere as he looked at him.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had an assistant with a resume as impressive as yours. Hell, some of my editors aren’t as qualified as you are. You’re intelligent, you are perceptive. You are able to learn so quickly, too. That takes a lot out of a person and I really like that about you.”

“Jongin-“

“You’re funny.” The other man continued as he pulled on his arms and they shuffled slowly across the street. “Even when your jokes are aimed at me, or when you make fun of my umbilical cord, I don’t mind it. I like it, actually. You are funny. It makes talking to you so much more entertaining.”

Kyungsoo felt his heart skipping a heartbeat and his face burning. He shook his head.

“Jongin, I really am not trying to fish for compliments.”

“I _know_ you’re not. Because you’re different.” His boyfriend said and smiled. “And I like that about you too. You walked into my office, into VOGUE, with department store clothes and an attitude and you didn’t give a damn and I knew that if I didn’t like you back then the way I do now, then I sure as hell respected you. You were _you_ and no one could take that away from you.”

Kyungsoo bit on his lower lip, a thump in his chest. Regret.

“And then you showed up to work all dressed up and I-…” Jongin shook his head, smirking a little. “I was kind of disappointed, really. Impressed by the way you looked, of course, but kind of disappointed that you’d caved in. For a total of about a whole minute, when Yixing told you you looked good and then something inside me clicked and honest to God, I was ready to kick him out of our office because I _hated_ the fact that he was talking to you like that. _Flirting_.”

Kyungsoo was speechless as Jongin held on to his hands tighter. 

“That entire afternoon was hell for me, until you came in my office and started talking about work. And I was just looking at you and wondering why the hell you were still being so nice to me after I had been treating you so horribly until that point. And I realized that it wasn’t the _clothes_ that mattered, it was _you_ – your way with people anyways. Everybody around me is nice to me because they _have_ to be. Because their work depends on it. I never know who actually means it. But not you. You were nice because that’s just who you are. You aren’t like them.” Jongin smiled a lopsided smirk, shaking his arms. “You’re _kind_. I _love_ that about you.”

Kyungsoo looked down, knowing full well that his face was probably a very dark hue of pink already. He felt so stupid now. So, so goddamn stupid.

But he also felt so happy. More than happy. He felt like he would burst. 

Especially when he felt a gentle hand on his cheek, lifting his face up. When his eyes met Jongin’s, he felt his heart skipping a beat at the sight of that beautiful smile. 

“And you’re beautiful,” Jongin leaned down, pressing their lips together once in a faint kiss. “And you’re cute.”

Kyungsoo answered the kiss that followed, he laid out his hands on Jongin’s chest and allowed the other man to pull him closer and deepen the kiss.

He didn’t need any more reassurances. He knew now.

All he needed was to feel Jongin closer to himself and to kiss him and to hold him and to know that he was _his_. That he wanted to be his only. 

He trapped Jongin’s bottom lip between his own, teeth lightly scratching against it before he let go. Jongin dived in again, hungrier for more. Their lips moved together, their bodies pressed tighter, Kyungsoo’s fingers curled around the fabric of Jongin’s shirt. 

The kiss left him breathless. He leaned his forehead against Jongin’s holder as he tried to catch his breath and gather the scattered pieces of his mind. 

“So cute,” Jongin mumbled in his ear with a raspy voice. “So cute, that I kind of want to _ruin_ you.”

Kyungsoo felt a shiver running up his spine – the best kind of shiver, as his entire body tingled in excitement and his fingers curled into even tighter fists against Jongin’s chest. 

“Do you want to come in?” Kyungsoo asked, voice sounding too deep with hardly concealed want. He felt Jongin’s chest vibrating under his touch. He laughed quietly.

“I didn’t say all that because I wanted to _get laid_ ,” the other man said, stepping back to look Kyungsoo in the eyes. “I actually meant it.” 

“I know you did.”

It was Kyungsoo’s turn to pull Jongin down by the collar of his coat, crashing their lips together again and pulling him closer to the front door. With all worries gone and with only Jongin on his mind and in his heart, he only had one thing he wanted more and the promise of it laid hidden in the bedroom of his small apartment. 

He had to take a deep breath to calm himself down when he pulled back from the kiss, shaky fingers looking for his keys in his pockets. Jongin’s hands moving to his waist and holding him tight as he tried to unlock the door and his lips ghosting over his neck made Kyungsoo feel more alive than ever, anticipation and excitement pumping in his veins.  

“Let’s go.”

 

 

 

twitter: @jongnugget


	12. Chapter 12

 

12

 

Kyungsoo woke up first that morning.

His eyelids felt heavy because of all the sleep he’d gotten, and his heart felt full when he eventually cracked his eyes open and the first thing he saw was Jongin’s beautiful face inches away from his. He was still asleep, a rueful expression on his face. He looked angelic in the white sheets and with the sun streaming from the window forming an almost halo around his head.

Kyungsoo took his time admiring the beauty of the other man, a small smile pulling his lips back.

He reached out, a finger removing bangs from Jongin’s forehead just so he could see his entire face. A face so calm and so ethereal, nothing like the face he had seen last night.

Now that face had been something different. Eyes shut tightly in pleasure, lips pulled back over perfect white teeth to let out low moans, lips so red and alluring.

Kyungsoo’s hand moved down to trace a line down Jongin’s naked shoulder, down his strong byceps and all the way down until his fingertips. Jongin’s fingers were beautiful. And if anything, Kyungsoo knew just powerful they could be. How he knew how to touch him, where to touch him, feathery kisses of his fingertips against his skin driving him crazy all night.

Kyungsoo had Jongin in front of himself to remind him of last night for now.

Kyungsoo felt sore all over – his shoulders felt stiff and his legs felt like jelly. The skin on his neck felt tender when he looked up to Jongin’s face again, he was pretty sure there were marks there from when Jongin had sucked on his skin. And even though everything hurt right now, in the sweetest way possible, even after all these hours he still felt so complete, so alive.

And all those moments from last night, Jongin whispering his name in between kisses, Jongin touching him, finally touching him where Kyungsoo needed him to, finally giving him what he had so desperately wanted – they were burning in his memory now and all Kyungsoo could do was rest his head back on the pillow and just look at Jongin, whose legs were still entwined with his under the blanket.

All he could think about was how perfect he was – how handsome his face was, how perfect his body was. How toned and beautiful it looked when Kyungsoo finally got to see all of it, to touch all of it. How aware he was of every movement of his, how he knew when to stop and when to give more, when to press harder on Kyungsoo’s skin and when to just run his hands down his skin, the tickling sensation of a feathery touch.

He remembered Jongin had told him he’d been a dancer once. Before VOGUE, before modelling. He certainly knew now that it definitely showed in the way he moved. In the way he had rolled his hips forward and had left him breathless and begging for more. Kyungsoo blinked quickly, feeling more heat rising to his cheeks at the images playing in his mind.

His fingers were absentmindedly drawing little patterns on Jongin’s arm, as he was simply lost in his thoughts, admiring his boyfriend.

He felt like a mess. He was almost certain that he looked like a mess.

A wrecked, well fucked, complete mess.

He wanted to humanize himself before Jongin woke up, he wanted to brush his teeth and wash his face, fix his hair and inspect the damage on his neck. He couldn’t stop the images of his best friends making fun of him if he showed up in the bar with a scarf in the middle of March. He wouldn’t hear the end of it.

He let out a quiet breath and rolled to his side, his body not really appreciating the moving. He was about to get off the bed, when he felt a weight on his waist – a hand wrapping around him to pull him back. He let out a little chuckle in surprise when Jongin dragged him on the bed closer to himself, pressing his back against his chest.

“No,” Kyungsoo heard a quiet, still sleepy and hoarse voice in his ear, “Stay.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t really fight it. He didn’t have the strength to, he still mostly felt like a jellyfish, and he didn’t really want to. Jongin’s arms were strong around him, his embrace was warm and loving and his breath was tickling Kyungsoo’s naked shoulder.

He didn’t want to leave. Ever.

Instead, a smile slowly spread on his lips as he nuzzled closer into Jongin’s hug and until he felt the other man resting his chin over his head and holding him tight.

“Good morning,” Kyungsoo mumbled quietly.

“Good morning,” Jongin’s reply was almost immediate, still quiet, a whisper in his ear. “How are you feeling?”

Kyungsoo contemplated it for a moment. Sure, his body was aching, and sure maybe Jongin’s hug was suffocating and too warm and maybe he needed air, but there was nothing in his life he had wanted more. Nothing could ever top this moment.

He didn’t know if his body could handle any more happiness. He felt like he would burst.

“Never better.”

Kyungsoo smiled when he felt Jongin pressing a kiss on his head, on his messy hair, as he just held him close to his chest, their legs still intertwined under the blanket in a mess of limbs. Kyungsoo appreciated the fact that Jongin was a cuddler. As if he could get any more perfect.

“How,” Kyungsoo started, realizing full well that he would sound like a fool, but Jongin had already seen all of him. And even so, he liked him. “How are you so good at everything you do? Last night was-….I don’t think I’ve ever…”

“Ever what?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt this good during sex,” Kyungsoo admitted, pressing into Jongin’s embrace even further to hide his flustered face. “I wish we could do this every night. It was perfect. You were perfect.”

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin said with a warning in his hoarse voice and a smile in his tone. “We just woke up and you’re already driving me wild. I can’t promise I can control myself if you keep stroking my ego.”

“Who said I want you to control yourself?” Kyungsoo challenged.

Jongin seemed to like that, because his embrace loosened enough for Kyungsoo to lie down on his back and allow Jongin to climb over him. He looked very much awake now, his gorgeous brown eyes staring down at him as he caged him between his arms.

“You look beautiful,” he said quietly and Kyungsoo felt butterflies in his stomach. Jongin was a liar. He was tired and his face was puffy from sleep, he was a mess and Jongin was a liar, yet Kyungsoo loved this so much.

Jongin leaned down to kiss him then. His lips were gentle and soft against his. He wasn’t in a rush, he was taking his sweet time as he locked their lips together and their mouths melted into one another.

And it was rocking Kyungsoo’s world all over again, even the lightest and sweetest of kisses was driving him insane.

It was almost too hard to break the kiss when a loud ringtone filled the room. Almost too hard to let go of Jongin’s lips and let him reach out to his phone that was insistently ringing on the nightstand.

The man above him seemed reluctant when they finally separated. He looked annoyed when he actually reached out to grab the phone.

Kyungsoo watched as Jongin declined the call and then pressed on to the power button until the phone’s screen turned black. Kyungsoo blinked quickly as Jongin tossed the turned off device to the side and focused on him again.

“Was that work?” he asked, feeling a little alarmed. He knew Jongin still had to approve some of the last designs for some photoshoot with an idol group for the upcoming edition of the magazine. He knew Jongin still had to submit his final notes on the selection of approved articles. He knew Jongin still had so much work to do this weekend.

“Yeah,” Jongin replied absentmindedly and Kyungsoo almost frowned. _Almost_.

“But what if it’s-”

Jongin shut him up with a kiss, a light peck over closed lips.

“It can wait,” he said with a tone that didn’t allow any objections. When he pressed his forehead against Kyungsoo’s, all rationality evaporated from his mind anyways, as he wrapped his hands around Jongin’s naked shoulders and just held on to him for dear life when the other one’s hands slid down his body, hands touching and groping and holding him. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse and heavy with want again. “VOGUE can survive one day without me.”

* * *

Jongin had spent a majority of the Saturday with him, he had ordered takeout for them and he had only left his tiny little apartment in the middle of the afternoon. Kyungsoo couldn’t have asked for more. He knew Jongin had work to do. He couldn’t stop him from doing it.

On Sunday, he had met Jongdae and Chanyeol. Asked them to come over with pizza and beer for a movie marathon. They had, naturally, teased him for the hickeys littering his neck, but Kyungsoo hadn’t really paid much attention to them. Those hickeys were just a reminder of how goddamn lucky he was.

But Monday came, and he had work to do, and it was time to wake up from his little fairy tale.

The turtleneck made him feel stuffy, but for the sake of avoiding curious glances and low whispers, he forced himself to wear it as high as possible. His jeans were held by the black belt and the black pointy shoes completed his outfit. He looked good enough with his blazer. Good enough and simple enough to avoid attracting anybody’s attention.

Before he left for work, though, he hesitated at his doorstep, before he quickly returned to his bedroom and opened the velvet box.

The watch Jongin had given him for his birthday felt heavy on his wrist when he put it on, but he didn’t take it off. It looked good and it fit perfectly. And just looking at it made Kyungsoo’s heart swell with joy. Only after making sure that it was tightly secured around his wrist did he leave his apartment and head for work.

It was a quiet morning overall. Every time the door opened, Kyungsoo would almost fall off his chair in surprise and anticipation. Every time he would think it was Jongin finally coming to work, but it was always either an assistant of an editor or people from other departments coming with different questions for their boss.

“What is _up_ with you today?” Sehun mumbled yet again with a judging look when the door of the office opened and Kyungsoo almost shot up from his chair. It wasn’t Jongin, it was Sooyoung from Marketing, who started quickly speaking about some offers for features and photoshoots with Jongin landing in their department.

“Where did those offers come from?” Sehun asked, strong eyebrows furrowing in confusion. When Sooyoung just mumbled something after her breath, Kyungsoo heard the first assistant letting out a sigh and standing up from the chair. “I’ll come take a look. It might be that hideous magazine that we rejected a few months ago, maybe they’re trying to snake their way in through other departments. I’ll be back in a bit, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo  just nodded absentmindedly, checking Jongin’s schedule during the week to see if it would be possible to fit a meeting with the publishers per their request. It was looking quite packed. He had to wait for his boss to arrive and ask him what to cancel so he could fit in the other meeting.

About twenty seconds after Sehun left, the door of their office opened again and Kyungsoo’s head snapped up. It was Minseok. Kyungsoo’s eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Hey!” he greeted, a little taken aback upon the sight of the photographer carrying a large backpack, equipment sticking out of it and a camera hanging around his neck. “What are you doing here?”

“I just came to leave this for Baekhyun, because I cannot go up the stairs carrying this,” Minseok groaned when he reached out to drop a large envelope on Kyungsoo’s desk, the weight of the things on his back crushing him. Of course, Kyungsoo nodded. Baekhyun was wasting his time in their office most of the time anyways. He supposed he’d show up in the next hour or so. “If you could give it to him when he shows up later, that would be lovely. And I’m off down to the studio. I have to process some photos in the darkroom.”

 “Do you need help carrying that?”

Minseok gave him a little smile, hands tightening around the straps of the backpack.

“I’ll manage.”

And then he was waddling out of the room and Kyungsoo smiled softly at the retreating tiny man, before finally looking down at the thick envelope.

It was opened, so he supposed whatever was inside wasn’t confidential or anything. He pulled out the big stack of pictures and his breath hitched at the sight of the one on top.

He moved it to the side to look at the second one. And the third one. Forth, fifth, sixth.

His lungs were begging for air by the time he remembered how to breathe.

Because the last thing he had been expecting on those black and white photographs was _Chanyeol_. The last thing he had been expecting was to see his _best friend_. Modelling. Looking absolutely gorgeous and laidback, staring into the camera and posing naturally. Standing up straight, looking over his shoulder, sitting on a couch, flipping through a magazine, holding a flower in his large hands.

To say Kyungsoo was shocked would be an understatement.

He moved the photos then, to reveal more similar ones underneath them. Chanyeol was wearing different outfits in those pictures, and his hair was styled. Those pictures had been taken with a purpose, Kyungsoo figured as he kept flipping through the pictures. He felt a light pang in his chest – why had Chanyeol never told him he did this? Why hadn’t he shared with him and Jongdae that he had tried modelling? Kyungsoo almost let out a sigh, making a mental note to definitely ask him about it someday. He didn’t want his best friend to feel like he couldn’t talk about something with him.

He halted when a second figure appeared in the pictures – a significantly tinier frame, with round glasses and a blinding smile.

Baekhyun.

Now, the pictures that followed didn’t look as professional anymore. Chanyeol wasn’t posing and he wasn’t trying to keep a straight face. He was looking at Baekhyun and the way he seemed to approach him even more with every following photo, his smile widening in every following picture.

Kyungsoo felt his cheeks burning as he continued flipping through the pictures. It was almost too personal, too intimate. The way Baekhyun and Chanyeol were looking at each other on those pictures, the way Baekhyun had reached out to touch Chanyeol’s face as they were sitting on the couch. They way Minseok had captured them both laughing. Kyungsoo could practically hear the loud wheezes in his mind just staring at the pictures.

And those photos, they were beautiful.

He didn’t have time to stack up the pictures and shove them back in the envelope before he sensed the door opening again. All color drained from his face when Baekhyun walked in with all his glory, that stupid lollipop hanging from the corner of his mouth as he smiled and approached Kyungsoo after quickly scanning the empty office.

“Sehun’s not here?”

“Uh, no,” Kyungsoo croaked out. “He just left. Some problem in Marketing.”

Baekhyun hummed as he looked down to the desk and finally saw all the spread out pictures of Chanyeol and himself. He didn’t say anything about Kyungsoo snooping around, just raised his eyebrows a little in surprise.

“Ah, Minseok’s been here already,” he exclaimed enthusiastically, as he reached down to drag a paper out of his bag. “Good.”

Kyungsoo felt relief for a total of three seconds, until Baekhyun slammed the paper – the photo he had pulled out – on the desk. He slapped the picture on top of his and Chanyeol’s, successfully covering himself.

Kyungsoo needed to blink a couple times to realize what Baekhyun was showing him.

It was a picture of Sehun. It didn’t look as professional as all those other pictures. It looked like a picture someone had sneakily taken while they were working, yet Sehun looked absolutely gorgeous in it. He always did.

“So? What do you think?”

Kyungsoo looked down again, to that picture of Sehun hiding half of the other one. He could only see Sehun and Chanyeol now, and he furrowed his eyebrows. He blinked up to Bakehyun.

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo was confused, looking down to the pictures again. “They’d make a lovely couple?”

Baekhyun scoffed and before Kyungsoo knew it, the other one had reached down to pinch his forearm. Kyungsoo pulled back with a whine.

“As the next faces of my new collection!”

Kyungsoo was kind of dumbfounded as his eyes widened and he looked down to the pictures on the desk. This had been Sehun’s dream since the moment he had started working here in VOGUE, before that even. But Chanyeol? He really needed to talk to him one of these days.

“I-…I don’t know. They look good. They look great, but-“

“But?” Baekhyun prompted.

“I don’t know! It’s just so weird to me. Chanyeol is my best friend, I just never thought I’d see him modelling and here he is, doing exactly that.”

Baekhyun chuckled quietly, as he started gathering the pictures in one messy pile.

“You’d be surprised,” the designer said. “He’s a natural!”

“I can see,” Kyungsoo mused quietly, before eventually shaking his head lightly. “They look great, Baek. They’d love it, I’m sure.”

Baekhyun seemed rather pleased as he picked up the envelope.

“Well, tell Sehun to come by my office when he returns then. I guess it’s about time I make an official offer.”

* * *

Sehun came back from Baekhyun’s office looking rather shaken up. He had a dazed expression on his face and, for the first time since he had met him, a very distant look in his eyes and a slowly blooming smile on his lips.

Kyungsoo couldn’t help but feel absolutely thrilled for the boy. It’s what he had wanted for so long and now he finally had the opportunity to do it.

He wanted to talk to Sehun about it, to congratulate him, but it was then that Jongin showed up to work and Sehun snapped out of his daydreams as the orders and tasks started raining. As the list of people that had to be called kept growing. Kyungsoo made another mental reminder to himself to definitely talk to Sehun sometime later, or the next day.

But for now, he had work to do. A lot of it, too.

He smiled at Jongin briefly before their boss disappeared in his office. Jongin halted in his steps for a millisecond, to look at him, something in his eyes shining as he looked at him.

A smirk pulled his lips when his eyes fell on the turtleneck that was covering his neck – a knowing smirk that only Kyungsoo understood.

And then his eyes stopped on Kyngsoo’s wrist and the heavy watch and that smirk turned into something else, a fluid and soft smile that played on Kim Jongin’s for a few stolen seconds, before he disappeared in his office.

Kyungsoo just smiled stupidly to himself as he sat back down and started doing his tasks one by one.

Chanyeol was happy with Baekhyun, and Baekhyun was happy.

Sehun was happy and so was Jongin.

And he was happy too.

He couldn’t have wished for a better start of the week.

* * *

Kyungsoo tried not to think about the way Jongin’s driver curiously looked at him when he escaped the car with the tinted windows together with Jongin. He also didn’t really have time to think about it because as soon as they were out of the car, the vehicle disappeared down the street and Jongin grabbed his hand, urging him to move forward.

Kyungoso mused at the size of the building in front of himself – it was one of those flashy buildings in the good part of the city, where rent would be impossible for almost any normal human being.

Kim Jongin, however, strutted forward like he owned the place (and maybe he did own the entire place, Kyungsoo was almost too afraid to ask). There lobby was huge and already more modern than anything in Kyungsoo’s old apartment building. He almost felt a little ashamed for letting Jongin enter his home when he lived in a place like this.

“I live on the last floor,” Jongin explained as they entered the big elevator. “I like the view.”

Kyungsoo was taking in everything with curious eyes and an open mouth, jaw dropped in awe from the moment Jongin unlocked the door with a card.

This place was _huge_.

All open space and minimalism. The furniture was quite simple – mostly black and white and brown. Modern and sharp looking. The most colourful thing about jongin’s living room and kitchen island were the large paintings hanging on his walls. Contemporary art, sharp lines and interesting figures. Kyungsoo didn’t know much about art, but he sure appreciated the way a single picture could change the atmosphere in the entire room.

The entire wall on the side was made of glass and Kyungsoo felt like someone punched him in the gut as he walked forward. He could see the entire city from up here, a panorama view – all the blinking lights in the dark evening. It was magical.

He was about to touch the spotless glass but stopped himself just before he did. He didn’t want to leave fingerprints on it.

Instead, he blinked when he felt Jongin walking up to him. He wrapped his hands around him from behind, resting his chin on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“I told you,” he said quietly. “The view is nice.”

“It is,” Kyungsoo agreed, sounding breathless. He turned around in Jongin’s arms, holding his arm as he looked around again.

When he looked harder he finally noticed signs of life in this apartment. Signs of Jongin.

There were scattered VOGUE magazines on the coffee table in front of the couch.

There was a jacket hanging on the bar chair at the kitchen.

There were little dog water bowls on the side of the plant in the corner of the room. Kyungsoo cocked his head just when he heard quiet tapping.

Tapping that only got louder. Rushed clanking of tiny paws, nails hitting the polished floors.

Kyungsoo let out a quiet laugh when three poodles appeared from the corner, rushing towards Jongin, fluffy tails shaking madly behind them in their excitement.

“Ah,” Jongin said quietly as he crunched down just when the dogs reached him and excitedly started jumping around him. A loving smile lit up his face as he reached out to pet the poodles, to play with them.

Kyungsoo let out a chuckle again when one of the dogs approached him and sniffed his leg, before rounding him curiously and sniffing him again.

He ducked down and spread out his hand for the brown poodle to sniff before he reached out to pet its head. The dog seemed to like it, so Kyungsoo scratched it behind its ears.

“He likes you,” Jongin mused from the side, still playing with his two other dogs.

“I didn’t know you had pets.” Kyungsoo smiled softly, playing with the dog that was now excitedly jumping around him too.

“I do,” Jongin said in a tiny voice as he leaned down when one of his dogs barked. He was so close to the poodle that their noses almost touched. “They’re my children. Monggu, Jjangu and-”

Kyungsoo didn’t know what was more adorable – the fact that Jongin was referring to his dogs as his children or the way he yelped when the white poodle tried licking his face.

“No, Jjangah,” Jongin laughed, immediately backing up. “Sit down, girl. No kisses for you tonight.”

Kyungsoo smiled at the way the fluffy poodle actually obeyed the commend and sat down. The other two poodles were still madly running around the room. Jongin was staring at him and Kyungsoo almost fell over when he noticed those eyes s focused on him. A little smile was tugging on the corner of Jongin’s lips.

“I have others I’d rather kiss tonight.”

Kyungsoo almost melted, a happy bark accompanying the sound of his heart skipping a beat.

* * *

Kyungsoo was shocked that Sehun was the one who actually asked him to go out to grab a coffee after work on the following day. Sehun seemed quite troubled, so Kyungsoo made sure to quickly tell Jongin that he couldn’t go out with him that evening.

That’s how he found himself sitting in the Starbucks across the street from VOGUE’s headquarters on a tiny table in the corner of the café with Sehun, a large cup of tea in front of him. Sehun was having something with a lot of whipped cream on top of it, something with syrup streaming on the sides of the cup. Some Cappu-Frappa-Licious monstrosity with lots of sugar. That was the only sign Kyungsoo needed to know that Sehun was feeling upset.

“Alright,” Kyungsoo tapped his fingers on the table. “What’s going on?”

Sehun seemed reluctant to speak. Instead, he dove down and sipped on his sugar bomb like a child being cornered. But Kyungsoo wasn’t in a hurry. He just waited, until Sehun took in a deep breath and straightened.

“Baekhyun offered me a job.” Sehun said, voice sounding kind of heavy. Kyungsoo just blinked and waited. “A modelling job for his brand.”

“It’s more than just a modelling job,” Kyungsoo smiled. “He’s offering you to eb the face of the brand.”

Sehun shot his eyes up to look at him, looking slightly surprised.

“You knew?”

“He told me the other day, yeah.” Kyungsoo nodded, leaning back in the chair. He knitted his eyebrows together. “That’s a good thing, right?”

“Yes. Yes, of course it is.”

Then it was silent again and Sehun was looking darkly at his drink, as if it had betrayed him, and Kyungsoo pursed his lips. He was confused.

“But you’re not happy about it.”

It wasn’t really a question. It was an observation. Sehun wasn’t half as thrilled as Kyungsoo had expected him to be. He wondered why. The other day, when he had returned from Baekhyun’s office, he had looked thrilled. Now, however, he didn’t seem convinced.

“It’s not that,” Sehun frowned, still avoiding his eyes. “I _am_ happy.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Sehun sipped on his drink again, as if trying to delay the conversation. He looked like he regretted coming here and Kyungsoo’s eyebrows only raised in worry. Sehun was just a kid. If he could help him, in any way, he would.

“I thought this was everything I ever wanted,” Sehun ended up sighing. “It was everything I worked so hard for, but it was all because I wanted to be good enough for _him_.”

Oh.

Kyungsoo slumped back in his chair, his lips pursing together, images of the golden haired assistant in China flashing in his mind.

“And ever since the last time I met him there,” Sehun continued, shrugging. “I haven’t talked to him. I’ve been ignoring his texts, his apologies. I’ve had enough of it.”

Kyungsoo remained silent and instead listened. He felt like that’s Sehun needed right now. Someone to listen to him. Someone neutral. And he could do that for him. He wanted to.

“And you know, funny enough, I realized I can actually live without him. I don’t need him to be happy.” Sehun said, a bewildered tone to his voice. “But then Baekhyun offered me the job and all I’ve been thinking about the past two days is that I only got it because of Luhan. Because I was trying to hard to impress him and now I’ll get that job and if I accept it, I will be reminded every day that it is because of him that I got to where I am right now.”

Kyungsoo didn’t mean to scoff, but when he did and when Sehun looked at him sharply, he didn’t even regret it. Instead, he leaned forward.

“Did Luhan do your job in VOGUE for you?”

“What? No.”

“Did Luhan wake up every day at 5 am and rush to be the first in the office to make sure Jongin would have nothing to complain about when he arrived?”

Sehun’s face seemed to soften, as he shook his head.

“No.”

“Did Luhan make sure that every benefit and every event looked as perfect as possible, earning praises from various magazines and news outlets?”

“…no.”

“Did Luhan work with Baekhyun and help him even when it wasn’t his job to? Supported his ideas and designs even though he wasn’t being paid for it? Encouraged him as a friend?” Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow. “No. No, he didn’t. It was all you, Sehun.”

Sehun looked down to look at his coffee again, not as angrily. He sliding his hands down the cup every now and then and Kyungsoo just smiled a small smile while looking at him.

“Do you want to do it, Sehun?”

“It’s all I’ve ever wanted,” the first assistant sighed out, finally looking him in the eye. “It would finally give me the chance to…I don’t know, make a name for myself. _Do_ something with my life.”

“You should do it then,” Kyungsoo said confidently and looked at how vulnerable Sehun looked on the table in front of him. He felt too bad for not noticing. He had been so busy with Jongin, so busy thinking about himself that he hadn’t noticed his friend struggling. “You can do it and you will be _great_ at it.”

A barely visible smile pulled on Sehun’s lips, as he nodded once. Mostly to himself, Kyungsoo supposed, as he watched the younger assistant repeat the motion.

“Yeah…yeah, you’re right.” Sehun finally looked up. “I should be doing this for myself.”

“There you go,” Kyungsoo smiled.

“And the best part is,” Sehun said, looking a bit more relaxed as he shrugged and sipped on his dring again. For the first time looking kind of bashful. That was a first, considering he didn’t have a problem talking about his sex life. “Junmyeon asked me out.”

Kyungsoo’s eyebrows shot up.

“What? Really?” his voice was sort of high pitched. “That’s great.”

“I know, right,” Sehun smiled in a daze, messing up the whipped cream with his straw. “It’s about time I move on, I guess. Junmyeon is a good guy. I like him.”

“I’m happy for you,” Kyungsoo meant it. He really did. Judging by Sehun’s pleased smile, he knew too.

“Thank you, Kyungsoo,” the first assistant said after a little moment of silence, a soft look on his usually blank face.

Kyungsoo just shook his head, pulling the tea closer to himself.

“You don’t have to thank me for being your friend.”

Sehun smiled again, bringing the cup up to his lips and filling the silence with a loud sip and a smack of his lips.

“Anyways,” he straightened up, all the sap gone from his eyes and Kyungsoo almost laughed. Now this was the Sehun he knew, the one who looked at him with slightly raised eyebrows. “Is there anything you want to tell me? Anything at all?”

Kyungsoo almost choked on his tea. He shot his eyes towards the first assistant who was looking at him with a calculating gaze. The tea burned down his throat as he shook his head in a hurry, trying not to look as stressed as he felt on the inside.

“Nope.”

“Nothing at all?” Sehun raised one perfect eyebrow and when Kyungsoo confidently declined again, Sehun let out a quiet chuckle and shook his head, leaning back in his seat and crossing his legs. “Alright then. Maybe next time.”

* * *

It had been a leisure day with not much to do. Sehun had been in a good mood (Kyungsoo could imagine why), when he told him he could take ten extra minutes for lunch. They had nothing to do upstairs anyways.

So he was sitting there with Baekhyun and Seulgi, having lunch in the company’s cafeteria, and just enjoying his time, for once.

“This is so _nice_ ,” Baekhyun had said way too loudly and way too excitedly when he saw the watch on his wrist. Kyungsoo was wearing a T-shirt with short sleeves, the suspenders hidden under the black blazer. Baekhyun’s lips had curved in a satisfied smirk when he’d so shamelessly looked him up and down in the line to the cash register. “Is this what parents feel like? I’m so proud right now.”

It was a good time and they talked about a lot of things – mostly about Baekhyun finally telling them in hushed whispers that he had gotten both Sehun and Chanyeol to agree to model for his brand, so they were going to start working on it sometime next month after the teams were ready with the final designs. _It’s a secret though_ , Baekhyun had chuckled quietly in the end, _so don’t tell anybody just yet_. Seulgi was telling them about some new feature she had, an advertisement job for a sports brand. They talked about a lot of things and just like that, twenty minutes passed and Kyungsoo had to excuse himself and hurry back to their office.

Sehun greeted him with a lopsided smile and a nod, while he kept slamming the buttons of his keyboard, replying to an email.

Kyungsoo peeked through the arched doorway – Jongin still wasn’t here, his office was empty.

He shrugged, finding his way back to his seat and stretching before finally looking at the desktop. They had emails to answer.

So he opened the browser and saw all those indications for new emails.

A certain one, the last one he had received, caught his attention.

It was from Wendy Son. Sent from her business email in Marie Claire.

And that’s when he felt the breath leaving his lungs. When he looked at the subject of the email and there, with big bold letters saw it.

_Job Offer – Editor_

Kyungsoo felt his eyes widening as he stared. He had almost forgotten about this, about Wendy promising to send him more details about the job in the future when the position as clear. And now she had sent it.

His eyes scanned the email quickly but he couldn’t really focus. Instead, he felt his eyes glassing over.

Wendy had just offered him the job he wanted and she was going to wait for his reply.

His eyes flashed around the room in pure and utter shock, his mouth feeling rather dry. They landed on his own wrist eventually, on the watch from Jongin.

Suddenly, it felt so much heavier than it had just moments ago.

Suddenly, it felt like an anchor.

Kyungsoo harshly bit on his lower lip, as he stared at the desktop again, the email open on the screen taunting him.

He only had one thought as his mind went completely blank.

_Fuck_.


	13. Chapter 13

 

 

13

 

 

“Did you confirm Jongin’s attendance at the Ralph Lauren store opening party?” Sehun asked in the quiet office, the only sound coming from their fingers endlessly dancing on the keyboards.

“Not yet,” Kyungsoo replied, eyes glued to the monitor of the computer, his vision getting hazy from the list of unanswered emails. Sehun let out some sort of a hum. “I just denied the interview for Dazed.”

“Alright. I’ll confirm Ralph Lauren, you do Gucci.” Sehun said, the tapping of fingers against the keyboard becoming stronger as he started typing the email. “Did he say anything about the Miu Miu show in Hong Kong?”

“Doesn’t want to fly to Hong Kong,” Kyungsoo said absentmindedly, glaring at the new email that just rolled in their inbox from PR. Sehun let out an understanding hum while Kyungsoo just scanned the email. His shoulders slumped. “We’ve got more paperwork from the lawyers. I’ll go pick it up from PR.”

“Great, thanks.” Sehun said distractedly, eyes flashing from his phone, to the planner on his desk, to the laptop and computer, and then to the calendar hanging on the wall by his desk. “While you’re downstairs, get the editors to move their goddamn asses. Jongin will be here in less than half an hour and they haven’t even _started_ setting up the things for the run through. He will be _pissed_ if they’re late again.”

_Oh, shit_. Right. The run through.

It had completely slipped Kyungsoo’s mind. He finished the last sentence of the email, quick proof-read it, although it had become procedure at this point to write the same thing over and over again. Then he slammed the send button, pulled the iPad and almost fell off his chair when he pushed it back too hard.

Sehun gave him a look over the laptop, probably wondering what the fuck he was doing, but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t have the time to be snarky, Kyungsoo supposed, as he almost ran out of the office.

They all had so much work to do, as always. Kyungsoo breathed out a sigh, as he drew a battle plan in his mind – PR, Baekhyun’s office, Junmyeon’s office, Krystal’s office, calling Seulgi and the stylists, setting up Jongin’s office. And only 29 minutes.

He pressed his lips together and started walking again. There was no time to waste.

* * *

“Chanel sent us some items from their summer collection for the feature,” Junmyeon read off from his pad. “So did Valentino.”  

Kyungsoo looked up from his papers in the corner to look at Jongin and the way his eyes scanned the racks with clothes, delicate fingers brushing against the expensive fabrics.

There was a serious look on his face, a concentrated crease between his eyebrows.

Kyungsoo couldn’t look at him for long. Instead, he looked back down, knuckles turning white from the tight hold on the pad. The guilt of staying silent was eating him from the inside.

He had been too busy since the beginning of the week with work to actually think about Wendy’s offer in more detail. He felt guilty, he felt _wrong_ for not letting his boss know about it yet. And until now he hadn’t had the time to bring it up. He hadn’t had the time to really think about it – sans the sleepless nights and the short lunch breaks at work. He’d just stare at the email from Wendy and do nothing. Stare and wonder.

But seeing _Jongin_ – that was different. Seeing Jongin walk in the office every day with his gorgeous face and with his soft and beautiful eyes – now that was a different type of painful. A completely different type of guilt. It caused a pain to creep in his chest – slowly but surely, as he felt the consequences of him not telling his _boyfriend_ about it piling up before he had even made a decision.

Unease. That’s what had taken hold of Kyungsoo’s heart ever since that dreadful morning he saw Wendy’s email. That’s what had his heart in its tight grasp, not letting go for even a moment. Unease, because he didn’t know what he wanted. He was conflicted.

“That’s not going to work,” Krystal said eventually, her sharp voice cutting through the silence and through Kyungsoo’s thoughts. “The contract with that idol group? We’re supposed to have the pictorial with those boys up in the next issue and all we got from Chanel are skirts.”

“That’s certainly a problem, because we also have a contract with Chanel to feature their items.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes shifted up again hesitantly, looking at Jongin’s back again as his boss looked through the rack of clothes. Junmyeon seemed like he was facing a math problem, while Krystal just kept frowning at the other editor.

“Well then,” she said, eyes challenging Junmyeon. “What do you suggest we do with three men?”

“Huh,” Baekhyun’s soft exclamation from the side reminded Kyungsoo that he was also in the room. Lollipop secured between his teeth and a sly smirk pulling on his lips, he leaned back on the rack with clothes as everybody looked at him. “Now that brings me back.”

“We don’t have time for this,” Krystal frowned at him, while Junmyeon closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Kyungsoo looked down to hide the half-smirk pulling on his lips. He didn’t know why those two were always so serious. He thought Baekhyun’s joke was funny.

It _was_ a joke. _Right_?

His eyes shot back up to the redhead, who was just smirking at distant memories and maybe he hadn’t been joking at all. Kyungsoo just blinked at him, making a mental note to maybe ask him later about it. Or maybe to never bring it up again. He was conflicted.

“We’re going to use this,” Jongin said eventually, ignoring everybody’s brawling and pulling out some long red pants, wide and funny looking. They almost looked like a skirt if he didn’t pay attention. He reached out to pick one of the wool hats with the Chanel logo. “And we’re going to use this too.”

“Should I call Seulgi?” Krystal asked, eyeing the clothes. Kyungsoo blinked quickly at the unimpressed look Jongin gave her.

“Why would you call Seulgi?”

“Well…” Krystal motioned towards the pants-slash-skirt, her voice faltering.

Kyungsoo knew what she meant. Kind of. Those were clothes for a female, even he could tell – the fit, the style. The math problem Junmyeon seemed to have been facing must have just evolved into calculus, judging by his confused expression.

“Those are for the idols,” Jongin said with a collected tone. “Call their stylist, have them alter the clothes if needed. And if they have any complaints tell them we’d be more than happy to cancel the shoot.”

“But we aren’t-“

“We need a shirt for this,” Jongin interrupted whatever it was that Junmyeon started saying. “Something black.”

“Something like Alexander Wang?” Baekhyun suggested, lollipop hanging from the corner of his mouth, as he picked up a T-shirt with a white logo at the front.

Jongin nodded, apparently pleased, as he took the piece of clothing from Baekhyun’s hands and brought it over to the rest of the outfit.

“Perfect.”

Kyungsoo quickly noted down the important information, the designers and the idols they were meant for. He needed to make sure him and Sehun shipped the outfits to the idols’ management as soon as possible so they could get back to them.

“Alright, that’s it for the pictorial.” Jongin leaned back on his desk. “Let’s move on to the outdoor spread and the family articles. I saw the ideas from the art department.”

“Yes, we received the ideas as well,” Junmyeon said. “They came up with the picnic layout, so we could put text in the form of a-“

“No.” Jongin’s voice was almost cold as he spoke and Kyungsoo pursed his lips, quickly writing in his pad. “What I need to know is who came up with something as ridiculous and infantile as that.”

Junmyeon didn’t say anything, obviously not wanting to rat out his colleagues. Jongin didn’t seem to really care about them either, because he just frowned and continued.

“We are _not_ some teenage magazine or one of those publications that write about knits and patterns.” Kyungsoo almost winced at Jongin’s tone. He was _not_ happy, he could tell. And he hadn’t even told him about Wendy’s offer yet. The thought alone made his skin crawl. “We are VOGUE. And you are suggesting a _picnic_ theme.”

There was silence in the room for a little bit, nobody daring to say anything, until Jongin eventually breathed out and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Do you have anything else?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes shot from Krystal to Junmyeon, both of them looking down at their notes, fingers fidgeting with the papers in their arms. They didn’t seem to have anything.

Baekhyun, on the other side, just pulled the lollipop out of his mouth with a loud pop, and peeled himself off the rack with a complete disregard for all notes he might have had.

“It’s an outdoor spread, right?” he asked, walking forward. “So camp.”

“Camp?” Krystal asked, confused. “Like beige shorts and boy scout badges kind of camp?”

“ _No_ ,” Baekhyun gave her a look. “Fashion camp. Like a nod to the upcoming Met Gala. It would be nice to bring that up in the articles anyways, PR keep getting requests for it every single day. It would be a nice touch and also word play if we shoot it outdoors.“

Kyungsoo blinked at the redhead, looking like a college student in his oversized hoodie and trainers and not like one of the richest designers and editors in the fashion elite in Seoul.

Baekhyun just wove his lollipop around, motioning wildly.

“All grand and exaggerated. Fun, but also chic. It doesn’t even have to be models and clothes. It can be art.” Baekhyun was saying. “Or we can have models wearing contemporary outfits in front of art pieces from the 17th century. Tracing back to the origins of fashion as we know it…come on. Does nobody have vision?!”

Jongin just raised a hand, briefly, to stop Baekhyun from talking any more. The air in the room was tense, Kyungsoo didn’t even dare move.

He knew that look in Jongin’s eyes – calculating and assertive. He could practically hear the gears in his brain shifting at an unbelievable pace. Vision and ideas coming together to create the plans for the next issue.

“That is great idea,” Jongin said, causing a pleased smile to bloom on Baekhyun’s face. “It is amazing, actually. That’s what we’re going to do.”

Kyungsoo started scribbling down in his pad as soon as Jongin started talking.

“We need to contact PR right away and have them sort out the legal issues. Get in touch with galleries and museums, see what the requirements would be for us to loan the art pieces for photoshoots.”

“That’s going to be so complicated, though,” Junmyeon furrowed his eyebrows. “Art pieces from the 17th century? Who would let us use them for pictorials?”

“I guess we’re going to find out soon enough,” Jongin said, eyes shooting towards Kyungsoo, who startled in his designated corner. “Call a meeting of the directors, tell them I want to meet them today by five. As soon as you get the green light from PR start calling the galleries and let me know what they say about their conditions.”

“Krystal, I will need you to start scouting locations – the older, the better. Mausoleums, crypts. I want it to be authentic. Junmyeon, see if we can score an interview with the organizers of the Met Gala. And Baekhyun, I will need you to go down to the art department and explain to them precisely what you had in mind. Don’t let them sneak in any of that picnic crap.”

Kyungsoo looked up from the pad in his hands to see the editors scattering – picking up notes and pads from the tables, pulling racks, hanging clothes back on their hangers.

Jongin’s eyes were on him.

“Get the company of those idols on the phone. If we’re doing a spread on the Met Gala, we’re going all out on that. I’m afraid we’ll have to change our terms with them. Maybe four less pages. Direct the call to my office.”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo squeaked out, eyes lingering on Jongin for a few more seconds.

In the midst of the chaos in his office, Jongin smiled at him – a tired smile, but sincere and kind. Something in his eyes glimmered, something that was definitely not his boss Kim Jongin. Something that was meant just for him, from his boyfriend. Something private.

Kyungsoo’s breath hitched and he looked away. That steel grip of guilt on his heart just tightened and he was afraid he would burst before he could even stumble out of the office and tackle the pile of work he had instead.

He didn’t linger long enough to watch the glint in Jongin’s eyes disappearing, being replaced by a flash of confusion and concern.

* * *

“Okay, what the hell is wrong with you?”

Kyungsoo looked up from his fingers. Jongdae’s voice was sharp and demanding, but the look in his eyes was completely the opposite – he seemed genuinely concerned as he stared at him. The expression on Chanyeol’s face wasn’t much different.

“I’m just not having a great day,” Kyungsoo raised the beer to his mouth, taking a brave sip. A frown pulled on his lips. “Not having a great week, really.”

“Why? What happened?”

Kyungsoo pursed his lips briefly.

He hadn’t talked about it with anybody. He had kept it all to himself ever since the beginning of the week and every single day the weight kept adding on his shoulders. He felt crushed. He needed to tell someone.

And there was nobody else he’d rather tell but his two best friends.

“I got a job offer,” Kyungsoo mumbled, the pains in his chest obnoxiously reminding him how horrible it felt to have a conscience.

He watched his best friends exchanging a look.

“A job offer?” Chanyeol asked. “What job offer?”

“Editor.”

He blinked when Jongdae almost chortled on his beer. He looked at him like he had suddenly grown a second head.

“What a _horrible_ week, really. Sounds absolutely horrific.”

Kyungsoo didn’t appreciate the sarcasm dipping from his friend’s voice.

Editor. Writer.

That had always been the dream. His and Jongdae’s. That’s what they had always wanted.

“You don’t understand,” Kyungsoo shook his head, looking down. As if the guilt he felt already wasn’t enough, he suddenly felt guilty because he was getting an offer Jongdae had been wanting his entire life, and he was contemplating turning it down. “It’s in Marie Claire.”

“So what?” Jongdae shrugged, “You’re already working in a fashion magazine anyways.”

Kyungsoo just heaved a sigh looking down.

Yes, he did work in a fashion magazine.

But Marie Claire was not VOGUE.

Wendy was not Jongin.

“I just-…I don’t know,” Kyungsoo shook his head, suddenly regretting speaking about it at all. “It’s what I’ve always wanted, but now that I have this offer I don’t-…I’m not sure that I really _want_ it, you know?”

“No,” Jongdae deadpanned. “I don’t even know why we’re talking about this. This has been your dream for years – granted, maybe not writing about skirts and ruffles, but it’s still writing. That’s what you’ve always wanted.”

“Man, I don’t know,” Chanyeol said and Kyungsoo looked at him. His friend shrugged, a certain twist on his eyebrows that made him look constipated. “I think you should wait before making a decision. You just started dating Jongin and all.”  

There was a silent gasp and Kyungsoo turned to look at Jongdae.

“Oh, I get it now. I get it, I get it. The _boyfriend_.” Jongdae scoffed, giving him an incredulous look. “Are you really trying to tell me you’re not going to follow your dreams because of some guy?”

Jongin wasn’t just _some guy_ to Kyungsoo. Jongin had become so much more than just _some guy_. And it hurt to look at him and think about a future in which he would not see him every day. A future in which the two of them would no longer be only separated by a thin wall.

A future in which the two of them were not together anymore. That’s what Kyungsoo feared would happen if he took the other job.

It was irrational, yes. It was stupid. They were both grown-ups. Yet, it bothered him. It _scared_ him.

“You’re not right, Dae,” Chanyeol said, nudging the shorter man. “Jongin does kind of have a say in this, I think.”

“Just because you’re ready to kiss his _and_ that editor’s ass,”  Jongdae mumbled, earning himself another nudge. This time, more violent and purposeful. He winced. “Sorry, sorry. Jesus. I was _joking_.”

Kyungsoo shook his head. Obviously, his friends wouldn’t help him decide, that much was clear.

Jongdae was right – this was his dream.

Chanyeol was also right – Jongin deserved to be a part of this decision.

“You’re being a complete ass, Dae.” Chanyeol huffed. “You know how I feel about Baekhyun and you know Kyungsoo is dating Jongin. Apologize.”

Jongdae stared at him intently, then he stared at Kyungsoo, who just stared back. Eventually, he breathed out and raised his arms.

“Alright. Fine. I’m sorry.” He shook his head, looking apologetic. “You know I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I’m just saying…if you say that Jongin has to know and that he’s worth all that worrying and contemplating, then I believe you. And I will try my best not to judge you and to support you, no matter what you decide doing. I’ve always got your back.”  

Kyungsoo pursed his lips and his fingers tightened around the beer bottle. He nodded.

“Thank you.”

“Speaking of that guy,” Jongdae straightened up, the look in his eyes changing. “When will we finally get to meet him?”

“Jongin?” Kyungsoo asked, confused. When Jongdae nodded eagerly, Kyungsoo frowned. “You already met him.”

“Not like that, no.” Jongdae leaned forward on the little table in the bar. “As your _boyfriend_ , and not as the boss you’re still afraid of.”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. He took another sip from his beer.

“I don’t know, I’ll ask him when he has time,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “And I’m not afraid of him, fuck you.”

Jongdae just let out a breath, a sharp chuckle. Chanyeol just shook his head with a little smile.

And Kyungsoo stared at his beer, not even taking another sip.

Instead, the guilt kept drumming in his chest, somewhat dulled. He was _not_ afraid of Jongin. He couldn’t possibly be. Not when Jongin had been so kind and gentle with him, so patient and understanding. Always giving him the space he needed, always telling him the truth.

Always being _honest_.

Kyungsoo bit down on his lip, closing his eyes and trying to will all those worries and thoughts away, as he raised the bottle to his lips again.

* * *

He needed to tell Jongin. It was eating him from the inside and what made everything worse was that he couldn’t even decide yet. He’d look at Jongin, and all those questions would start pulsing in his head. And then he’d look away and try to ignore all his problems, hoping they would just disappear.

“Are you alright?” Jongin asked him, his sweet, caring voice laced with concern on that dark evening. It was just the two of them in the office, Kyungsoo was waiting for documents from PR and Jongin was waiting for the mock up of the magazine. It was just the two of them and Kyungsoo had nowhere to escape from Jongin’s gentle fingers that burned through his skin when he reached out to hold his hand over the desk. Nowhere to escape from Jongin’s sharp, yet soft eyes focusing on his face. “You look worried. You look tired. You’ve been very distant the last few days.”

Kyungsoo almost wanted to laugh. Of course, nothing ever escaped Jongin’s assertive gaze. Nothing could slip past him.

“Did I do something wrong?” Jongin asked, a little smile pulling on his lips – bitter and wavering, a failing attempt to mask the concern in his eyes.

Kyungsoo’s heart clenched at that question.

What a horrible human he was. Not only was he lying to Jongin, but he was also making him feel like he did something wrong. Like it was his fault that Kyungsoo was such a mess.

“No,” he breathed out, bringing his free hand to put on Jongin’s. He clutched on him, holding on to him tightly, head hanging low as he shook it and the hair covered his eyes. “God, no. You did nothing wrong.”

“That’s a relief,” Jongin said quietly, but never let go of his hands. Kyungsoo could still feel the other’s gaze on himself. “Do you want to talk about it? Can I help?”

_Now_.

Kyungsoo had to say it now.

Now was the perfect time to bring it up. To discuss it like adults. To talk it out.

But when he looked up and saw Jongin’s soft smile and his inviting eyes, he felt the honesty slipping out of his grasp, being replaced by something else. Something selfish.

He didn’t want to lose Jongin. Not when he had him. Not when he knew how amazing it felt to have him, not when he had gotten to know him like no one else before.

He ended up shaking his head, fingers probably digging uncomfortably into Jongin’s arms. He shook his head again, almost frantically.

“Just stay with me.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes fluttered closed when Jongin rounded the desk, not letting go of his hand for even a second, and sat on the armrest of the chair. He breathed out when Jongin put his arms around him and pulled him closer, burying his face in his side, holding him close.

Kyungsoo breathed in deeply, the scent of Jongin all around him, Jongin’s fingers in his hair, Jongin’s arms holding him tight. Only Jongin.

Staying with him.

* * *

The shining car looked so out of place in his tiny and average neighbourhood in the orange light of the sunset.

Jongin, who was leaning against the back door of it, also looked so out of place in his tiny and average neighbourhood. He was standing tall, all poise and elegance, ethereal beauty emanating grace as his skin turned to gold under the sun’s last gentle caress. He was wearing a long grey coat, plaid, and his trousers, or at least the part that Kyungsoo could see from them, were wider than usual and covering the top of his black pointy shoes. There was a sling bag hanging from his shoulder – mustard yellow, small. It stood out.

Kyungsoo’s breath hitched when he saw Jongin looking like that. He looked perfect. The way the coat was falling freely around him, the way it hugged his figure in all the right places – Kyungsoo couldn’t describe it. Perfect felt like a weak word in that moment.

Their eyes met then, and Jongin’s eyebrows shot up when he finally spotted him across the street.

And Kyungsoo tried to contain the smile.

Because today, he too looked out of place in his tiny and average neighbourhood.

They were going to a party – yet another one of all those countless fashion parties Jongin was always invited to go to. Kyungsoo and Sehun needed to attend today as well, though. They had work to do tonight – people to talk to, interviews to arrange, art pieces to discuss.

When Baekhyun had offered him help with coordinating his outfit, Kyungsoo had refused. He knew exactly what he needed this time, he knew exactly what he wanted.

He was wearing a long cardigan over a shirt. The cardigan had the brand’s obnoxious logos on the front. The pants were something he’d never put on usually, something with laces at the front and metal studs here and there. And had it been any other day, he probably wouldn’t have. But he guessed it was time to pull out some of those most striking pieces of clothing Baekhyun had once given him. A party of a huge brand sure called for the extra touch of extravagance.

He walked across the street quickly, before a car could run him over, towards Jongin, whose eyebrows were still raised in utter surprise. He didn’t even try to be subtle when he looked him up and down.

Kyungsoo felt his heart fluttering when Jongin reached out and touched the collar of his shirt underneath the cardigan, gentle fingers fixing an almost invisible crease.

“I’m impressed,” he said, and Kyungsoo felt more than pleased with the compliment. Especially since it was coming from Jongin. From his boyfriend. He smiled, holding Jongin’s hand and leaning closer.

“I’m impressive.”

Jongin’s lips cracked in a smile and he pulled Kyungsoo forward by his arms. Their bodies pressed together against the car and Kyungsoo’s breath hitched again when their eyes met. He could feel Jongin’s hot breath on his skin.

“You are.”

He almost expected Jongin to lean down and kiss him, he was ready for it. It’s what he needed, what he so desperately wanted.

Instead, he felt  gentle fingers on his skin, on the side of his face.

Jongin’s eyes were looking up as his hand lightly touched his hair. Then he looked back at him, a knowing smirk blooming on his plump lips.

“Your hair’s up.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t wait for Jongin to lean down and kiss him. He put a hand on his shoulder and pulled him down instead, locking their lips for a quick, but very much needed, soothing kiss.

Jongin’s smirk was still present, even when they parted. Kyungsoo shrugged.

“I remembered you liked it.”

Jongin’s smirk only seemed to spread when he opened the door of the car and waited for Kyungsoo to get in before him.

* * *

The entire night was magical – Kyungsoo had never really attended a fashion launch event like this, a party with only designers and models. It felt sophisticated. It felt somewhat dirty. Somewhat raw. Real beauty and all of its dark secrets.

The lights were dimmed, it was dark – almost like a club. Jongin looked striking even when Kyungsoo couldn’t see him perfectly. And he was so good in what he was doing – talking to everybody, arranging things. He was perfect at doing his job properly. Kyungsoo always had admired that. He doubted he’d ever stop admiring it.

And as he watched how the night progressed, how Jongin managed to create opportunities with simple conversations, Kyungsoo decided to keep everything to himself. At least until he finally decided.

There was no point in telling Jongin just yet. No point in burdening him with unnecessary struggles and questions. No point in telling him and potentially ruining everything between them. Maybe he was scared, after all. And what Jongin didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

It felt liberating to have finally made a decision. The decision to wait.

It made him feel somewhat lightheaded. After an entire week of worrying, it made him feel free.

So when Jongin’s fingers became braver, when his own fingers started searching and wanting, he let himself be dragged off to a corner, a little part of the room, hidden behind a plant and decorations, shielding them from curious eyes. When Jongin kissed him in the darkest hours of the night, when the music became louder and the lights became darker, he didn’t mind it one bit. He didn’t care about all those designers and models, he did not know them.

He only knew Jongin and the way his lips felt against his – soft and sweet and intoxicating. Everything he needed to forget.

Kyungsoo gasped when Jongin pressed him against the wall, driving a knee between his legs, putting pressure on him. Making every nerve ending in his body burn. He almost whined when Jongin rubbed himself against him, pressing their bodies even closer and tighter, but the taller man swallowed his mewls in a kiss.

All lips and tongue, feeling the loud music inside his bones, blood and lust coursing through his veins.

He didn’t know where to put his hands. It was too tempting to put them on Jongin’s body, too tempting to let them run over that ridiculously expensive coat. He wanted to tear it off Jongin. He wanted to rip the buttons open and just feel the other’s chest underneath his fingertips. But he knew he couldn’t do that. Not here. Not now.

He settled for holding on to his shoulders – he was afraid he’d fall if he wasn’t. His knees were becoming weaker with every following kiss.

Jongin, however, didn’t seem to have as many worries.

His hands had started off holding him by his waist, fingers neatly tucked between the cardigan and over his shirt, clutching tightly on his body and keeping him close.

And then they started sliding south, to Kyungsoo’s hips, then lower on his thigh, pulling his leg up around Jongin’s waist and pressing their crotches together until Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if he was breathing anymore. And then they slid around his body, hugging him tight, dipping lower.

Kyungsoo gasped in the kiss when Jongin held on to his ass and pressed his knee higher again, the pleasure building up in his abdomen. A moan bubbled in his throat when Jongin’s lips latched on his neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses and light bites.

Everything he needed to forget all his worries was in his arms.

Everything he had ever needed.

Everything he had wanted was in those kisses and in those touches. Everything he so desperately craved.

He wanted more. He _needed_ more.

Until someone cleared their throat and everything was suddenly louder than the booming music around them – Kyungsoo’s heart beating wildly, Jongin letting out a hiss when he pulled back, the chatter of people in the room. Everything was suddenly louder. So much louder.

It took Kyungsoo’s eyes a moment to adjust, to focus back on reality and the person who was standing next to that hideous plant.

If Sehun had been surprised to have caught them making out so recklessly in the corner of a party, he sure didn’t let it show on his face. He seemed as stoic as ever, sharp eyebrows raised just the tiniest bit as his eyes moved from Kyungsoo to Jongin.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he said, voice just as professional as it always was. He didn’t seem fazed. Not one bit. “I’m afraid the lack of your presence is starting to get noticeable, Jongin.”

While Sehun seemed to be perfectly composed, and while Jongin just stood up straight, as if he hadn’t just been caught sucking the neck of his secretary, Kyungsoo felt his entire face burning and his heart beating loudly against his ribs.

He didn’t know if it was embarrassment from having to face Sehun now or excitement from getting caught. The line was thin and blurred and maybe Kyungsoo had had one drink too many.

“There are officials from the Met here. They heard about the project from PR and they wanted to speak to you,” Sehun continued, the little bubble of lust and animalistic lack of self-control diffusing slowly around them. Kyungsoo pursed his lips when Sehun’s eyes shot towards him for a millisecond, before returning to Jongin. “I can tell them you’re…otherwise engaged, though.”

“No, that’s quite alright,” Jongin said, voice husky and lower than usual. He shot Kyungsoo a look – a lingering look, dark and filled with want and Kyungsoo felt every hair on his body straightening with the unspoken promises in that look. “I’ll go speak to them. Sehun, do you have a ride home?”

“I came with Junmyeon.”

“Great,” Jongin said, flashing Kyungsoo one last look, a barely visible smirk appearing on his lips. He looked so sinfully perfect, so sinfully imperfect. “Call my driver and have him come here in fifteen minutes. You go wait for me in the car, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo’s breath hitched when Jongin raised a hand to his collar, smirking down at the wrinkly mess that his outfit had become. His eyelids fluttered again when Jongin leaned closer, his lips brushing against his ear.

“I’m not done with you yet.”

Kyungsoo felt shivers running up his spine, and his heart skipping a beat, when Jongin stepped back and smirked at him one last time before disappearing into the room.

Kyungsoo would have slumped back against the wall, trying to contain his feelings and emotions, but he felt a pair of eyes on himself.

Sehun was looking at him, that unreadable expression finally cracking. There was a knowing look in his eyes.

“Don’t even say it.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Sehun said, then he smirked. Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes at him, not really appreciating that look on Sehun’s face. That look, as if he had known all along. As if it was Christmas and he just woke up to a pile of presents. Maybe he had known all along. Kyungsoo didn’t know. He didn’t know a thing.

“I hate you.”

“Of course you don’t.” Sehun said, holding the pad up closer to his chest. “You know, Junmyeon left half an hour ago _.”_

Kyungsoo’s eyes shot up to look at the first assistant in shock. Sehun just smirked again.

He turned on his heel, maybe to follow Jongin and make sure everything went smoothly, that all contacts were exchanged, and all emails were going to be written and sent tomorrow morning.

Just before he walked away, though, he turned to give Kyungsoo one more look, from his head down to his toes.

“You’re _welcome_.” Sehun raised his eyebrows, a friendly glint in his eyes. “And fix your goddamn shirt, you look like an absolute mess. _Jesus_.”

 

_[twitter](https://twitter.com/jongnugget) _

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

 

14

 

 

The loud sound of the alarm startled him.

He kept his eyes closed as he exhaled tiredly, the shrill sound only increasing in volume. He reached out blindly, fingers searching the nightstand for his phone.

And then there was silence.

6am sharp. The start of yet another long day.

Kyungsoo breathed in deeply, as he finally cracked his eyes open and sat up. He didn’t really want to get up, but he had no choice. He had a job to do, he had an office to get to. He had coffees to buy on the way, he had a shitload of emails to answer, he had people to call and schedules to confirm.

But it was Friday, and maybe that’s the only thing that would make all those hours in the office easier. The last day of the week he had to be there before he could make up excuses and spend the entire weekend at home by himself, alone with his thoughts and his endless questions. Before he could sit down and properly think about everything that was bothering him and eating him up from the inside.

He shook his head, willing those thoughts away, and breathed in deeply again. He had to get ready.

The shower felt refreshing, it finally made his mind clearer, it woke him up and that was a good start. He stared at his reflection in the foggy mirror. His face looked thinner than before, he had melted down. He didn’t know if it was because of how busy life had been lately or because of all that stress piling up, but he had lost some weight. Not enough for others to notice, but enough for him to. Not enough for him to worry, enough for him to sigh out and shake his head, fingers running through his damp hair and enough for him to turn his back on the mirror and ignore it.

He was in the middle of buttoning his shirt up when another shrill sound resounded in his empty apartment. A sound that made his heart skip a beat in surprise, because it wasn’t his follow up alarm, and it wasn’t Sehun making sure to call him and to obnoxiously remind him that he had to pick up the Hermes scarves on his way to work, along with his vanilla latte-cappa-thing from Starbucks. His phone was dark and silent on his messy blankets and Kyungsoo whipped his head in the direction of the door when his doorbell rang again.

Kyungsoo furrowed his eyebrows, almost tripping in his jeans.

_Who_ was visiting him so early? _Why_ would anybody visit him so early when they knew he had work to go to?

Maybe it was Chanyeol and Jongdae, playing some practical joke on him. If it was them, Kyungsoo would murder them. He didn’t have time to waste when he had so much to do.

Or holy shit, what if it was his mother? She did like doing stuff like this without telling him first – her showing up at 6:30 on a weekday wouldn’t be anything he hadn’t experienced before. He still had flashbacks to college and having to hide his then boyfriend because she had decided to visit without warning.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he hissed, pulling his jeans up in one sharp movement, fingers fumbling with the button. He raised his voice then, “Coming!”

He opened the door in a hurry and his breath got caught in his throat.

Because the last person he had been expecting to see was Jongin, but it was exactly him who was standing there, in his doorway, staring back at him.

Kyungsoo’s first thought when he saw the taller man was to internally curse. Was he late? He couldn’t have been, right? He set up his alarm, he woke up on time. Did he forget something about work?

The panic rose inside his chest as his eyes grew wider. Did Jongin know? Had he found out somehow? Why wasn’t he screaming at him already?

“Hi,” was what Jongin said instead, a little smile on his lips, and Kyungsoo just kept staring, trying to blink the confusion away. He finally noted how soft Jongin’s hair looked, freely falling over his eyes – fluffy and untouched, no product in it. He finally took note of the sweatshirt and the jeans Jongin was wearing. Of the plastic bag he was holding. Kyungsoo let out another breath, bewildered. Jongin raised one perfect eyebrow, the smile on his lips amused. “May I come in?”

Kyungsoo startled in his place, fingers dropping from the undone buttons of his shirt, as he hurried to open the door wider.

“ _Yes_ ,” he said, voice coming out squeaky. He furrowed his brows and cleared his throat, as he watched Jongin walking inside his tiny apartment. “What-…What are you doing here?”

Kyungsoo felt his heart beating way too wildly in his chest, his unease clouding his thoughts. He could just close the door slowly and watch Jongin comfortably walking to his kitchen counter and putting that plastic bag on it, before turning towards him. He leaned on the counter, a shy tug on the corner of his lips.

“I brought some stuff,” he said, shrugging. “I wanted to spend some time with you today.”

Kyungsoo blinked again, feeling exceptionally dumb. He hadn’t gotten the days mixed up, had he?

“It’s Friday,” he stated the obvious, just blinking in Jongin’s direction. Trying to read the situation. All he saw was Jongin’s smile widening slowly. “We have work today. We have the meeting with Accounting today. You have the interview with-“

“Don’t worry about VOGUE,” Jongin interrupted him, a patient look in his eyes, something unreadable, yet so soft and warm. “I handled the files that Accounting needed last night with Sehun. Today should be slow for once.”

“But-“

“No buts,” Jongin said, pushing himself off the counter and walking towards him. Kyungsoo’s breath left him when Jongin’s hands found their way to his waist, gentle fingers pulling him closer until their bodies were pressed together. Kyungsoo blinked when Jongin raised a hand to run a hand between his eyebrows, over that concerned crease, a light chuckle escaping his perfect lips. “Don’t worry. I’ve taken care of everything.”

Kyungsoo’s eyelids fluttered when Jongin leaned down and pressed a quick kiss on his forehead, before letting go of him and returning to the counter. He heard the rustling of plastic when Jongin pulled the bag.

“I didn’t know what you usually have for breakfast, so I got different things,” Jongin said, pulling out the coffee holder with two cups in it and then bags with the logo of that bakery down the street. Kyungsoo’s mouth opened, he wanted to say something – anything, really - but no sound came out.

Instead, he startled again when his phone buzzed loudly.

“And that must be Sehun,” Jongin laughed, his quiet chuckle reaching Kyungsoo who grabbed for his phone.

It _was_ Sehun. Or rather, a very curt, a very Sehun-like text message. He was basically saying the same thing Jongin had said not even a minute ago.

No need to go to work.

Kyungsoo bit on his lip harshly, locking his phone again and throwing it away on the couch. He looked at Jongin’s back – at the man who was still taking out things from the plastic bag. Just _how many_ things had he bought? Kyungsoo felt something tugging on his heart.

Something tugging him towards Jongin.

He walked forward cautiously, until he was standing next to Jongin by the counter, curiosity burning inside him as he looked at the editor in chief’s concentrated expression as he lined up different croissants and toasts in front of him.

Kyungsoo’s mouth was dry when he finally spoke up. When he _tried_ to.

“Why-…why did you-“

“Because,” Jongin said, turning towards him and pulling him closer again, their bodies pressing together lightly when he loosely caught him by his hips. “I’m travelling to Taiwan tomorrow morning. I won’t see you until Monday. And besides, I just wanted us to relax.”

Kyungsoo breathed out a sigh of relief and a thousand more emotions. He closed his eyes for a moment, leaning into the touch of Jongin’s hand when the other man caressed his face.

“I wanted to take care of you for once.”

Kyungsoo looked up to meet Jongin’s eyes. There was something incredibly genuine in those beautiful brown orbs, something so soft and warm that it made his heart flutter.

He nodded eventually, raising his own hand to hold Jongin’s hand against his face. He intertwined their fingers and finally saw Jongin’s smile spreading in the most gentle way possible.

“So,” his boyfriend said, pulling back the slightest bit with eyes shooting towards the counter. “Are you a croissant or a sandwich type of person? Muffin or protein bar?”

Kyungsoo’s own lips curled into a small smile as he looked down at his suddenly full counter.

Maybe he didn’t have to worry about losing some weight, after all.

* * *

True to his word, Jongin had made sure it was a free day, full of nothing but relaxation and laziness. After having breakfast, Jongin had somehow convinced him to go back to bed for an hour or two – none of them had to work, they could sleep in. So they did.

And later in the morning, after hanging out in his tiny apartment for the most part, and after hearing Jongin’s stomach growling, Kyungsoo suggested they went to the little supermarket and got some stuff. He suggested to cook something for lunch and at the sound of that Jongin’s eyes had twinkled in excitement.

That’s how they’d spent the latter part of their morning in the tiny supermarket of his neighbourhood, with Jongin pushing the cart and filling it with every single thing Kyungsoo checked out, even if he didn’t really need it.

When they got to the alcohol aisle, Jongin had frowned at the wines. _‘Is this all they have in here?’_ , he had asked, a disapproving and judging tone to his voice. He had picked up the most expensive wine he could see in the entire aisle – _a_ _27$ bottle_ – and he had proceeded to the counters with a deep scowl on his face, while Kyungsoo had just started laughing behind him. He hadn’t even let Kyungsoo suggest paying, he had shut him up with a quick look and a little smirk, passing his black card to the unamused clerk in the shop.

Jongin was completely useless in a kitchen, that’s what Kyungsoo learned as they started preparing lunch. He asked the taller man to cut an onion, which had resulted with unevenly chopped pieces and a teary Jongin.

Quickly cooked chicken breasts with tofu and veggies had been their lunch – served in unmatching plates – nothing special. Just Kyungsoo and Jongin spending time together and eating lunch lazily on the tiny dining table in his kitchen. Yet, it felt precious. More precious than any of those expensive and flashy restaurants they had been to before.

And the hours were just rolling by with them talking about everything and anything, with them moving from the tiny dining table to the tiny couch with the voices coming from the TV buzzing in the background, drinking the cheap supermarket wine. Kyungsoo thought it was alright. Jongin winced at his first sip but didn’t complain out loud about it. He didn’t really seem to care about the wine. He was too busy holding Kyungsoo against himself, a finger playing with his hair distractedly.

Kyungsoo sighed out in content, his eyes closing as he leaned back against Jongin’s chest again. He felt so content like this – well rested, relaxed, with the one person he wanted.

“Why?” he asked quietly, breathing in deeply the scent of Jongin when he nuzzled his face in his chest, careful of the wine glass in his hands. “Why did you do all this today? Monday’s going to be absolute hell because we skipped today. All the emails, all the-“

“I told you not to worry about all that,” Jongin said softly, “Not now.”

It was all easier said than done and Kyungsoo just sighed out as he sat up and looked at Jongin. His fingers were still in his hair and when Kyungsoo pursed his lips, Jongin slid them down the side of his neck. His thumb brushed against his jawline and something glimmered in his eyes.

Something restless.

When Jongin looked at him with worry written all over his face, Kyungsoo felt his breath hitching again.

“You’ve been keeping to yourself lately, you’ve been very distant. You’ve been looking unwell this last week. Pale and jumpy.” Jongin sighed out, shaking his head and fingers caressing Kyungsoo’s face again. “I can tell whatever is upsetting you is really taking a toll on you.”

Kyungsoo felt a pang in his chest.

So someone _had_ noticed. The one person he didn’t want to have noticed.

He ran a tongue over his suddenly dry lips. The air around him wasn’t enough, as he felt the worry inside him rising again.

Jongin pursed his lips. His gaze was inquiring, calculating, as he tilted his head and tried to smile.

“I wanted to try distracting you.”

Kyungsoo bit on the inside of his cheek as he looked at Jongin and that genuine emotion on his face. That genuine care, that genuine worry.

And he felt that pang in his chest again.

Jongin didn’t deserve to be lied to. Yet, he still couldn’t bring himself to speak about it. He didn’t want to ruin what they had right now. That beautiful moment, that moment just the two of them shared. Something so intimate and private. He was that selfish, yes.

He raised the glass to his lips and gulped down the rest of his wine in one go. It burned his throat a little, giving him very much needed strength.

He put the glass away on the table, before diving forward to kiss Jongin. To lock their lips together and feel the taste of the cheap wine on the other’s lips.

Kyungsoo needed this. He furrowed his eyebrows, hungrily kissing Jongin, sucking on his lower lip and whining into the open-mouthed kiss. His fingers tightened around the front of Jongin’s sweatshirt, pulling him closer.

“ _Woah_ ,” Jongin said when they parted for breath. Kyungsoo was ready to dive in for another kiss, but Jongin’s hand sliding behind his neck stopped him. The tan man gave him a look, intrigued, with a bewildered smile on his lips. He put away his wine, before looking at him again. “What was that for?”

“You said you wanted to distract me,” Kyungsoo breathed on the other’s skin, lips latching on Jongin’s neck, sucking on the skin. Jongin hissed underneath him, his fingers tightening around his waist. Kyungsoo’s lips ghosted on Jongin’s skin, all the way back to his lips. He whispered, “ _Distract me._ ”

Jongin didn’t need to be told twice.

When he kissed him it was passionate and needy, maybe as needy as Kyungsoo himself. His lips were moving against his with purpose, and his fingers dug into his flesh when he pulled him closer.

It was promising, and it was everything Kyungsoo needed to know that he could stand up and drag Jongin along to the bedroom. So he did – he caught Jongin’s hands and pulled him forward, their lips still connected in a messy kiss.

He didn’t stop until he felt the bed behind his legs and Jongin didn’t stop until he laid him down on the mattress gently, his plump lips peppering sweet kisses along Kyungsoo’s jawline. He hovered over him, that soft, brown hair tickling Kyungsoo’s face as Jongin dipped down to connect their lips again.

It was a surprisingly soft, a surprisingly tender kiss. The way Jongin held him trapped between his body and the bed and the way he was lightly pressing their lips together, tongues languidly moving together, was just so intimate. It made Kyungsoo’s heart flutter.

“ _Jongin_ ,” he sighed out when he felt the other man’s fingers sliding up to the top button of his partially undone shirt. Kyungsoo closed his eyes and sighed out when he felt Jongin’s quick fingers working the buttons open one by one and when he felt Jongin’s soft lips pressing kisses down his chest on the skin that was being revealed to him with every button being undone.

Jongin was handling him so gently and lovingly. He really was taking care of him.

He sat up so Jongin could slide the fabric off his shoulders. He also sat up to tug on Jongin’s sweatshirt impatiently. The tanned male smirked at him, raising his arms to help Kyungsoo rid him of it. Kyungsoo was more than pleased when he tossed the sweatshirt on the floor of his bedroom, eyes sliding down to rake in the gorgeous view of his boyfriend’s toned and lean chest – strong pecs and soft abs, sharp lines and smooth skin. He couldn’t help but run his fingers down Jongin’s chest, feeling his body under his fingertips.

But Jongin’s elegant fingers wrapped around his wrists loosely, stopping his hands from sliding down even more down south. Instead, he pushed him down on the mattress again slowly. He had the gaze of a predator, a hungry look in his lust-filled eyes, when he leaned down and started pressing kisses against Kyungsoo’s body again. On his face, on his neck, on his chest, on his collarbones. On his nipples, in a line down to his navel. On the line where his jeans started, teeth brushing against his skin lightly.

The room was only filled with Kyungsoo’s needy breaths of Jongin’s name. His mind was spinning when Jongin finally moved his fingers and started pulling his jeans down, the heat in his abdomen already setting his entire body on fire.

Kyungsoo hastily started kicking them off his legs. He couldn’t get rid of them faster if he wanted to. Instead, once his legs were free again, he wrapped them around Jongin’s waist, pulling his body down and pressing their crotches together.

Jongin’s low moan was music to his ears and the way his eyebrows closed and his eyebrows furrowed in complete bliss was art. Kyungsoo could stare at him forever.

“We need to get rid of this,” he heard Jongin saying, a certain hoarseness to his voice that sent a shot of electricity through Kyungsoo’s body when the other man’s fingers started playing with the hem of his shorts.

Kyungsoo bucked his hips up, letting Jongin slide the shorts down his legs. The cool air on his exposed body made him shiver in the best way possible, pleasure pooling in his stomach. Jongin’s eyes were on him, on all of him, and he seemed like he was in a daze. An expression he didn’t get to see often on the editor’s face. An expression that was so out of hand, so out of control, that it was nothing he would have imagined seeing on Jongin’s face when they fist met.

But he was looking at him like that – with that uncontrollable look in his eyes – as if he was a prize, a treasure, and it made Kyungsoo feel wanted and liked. Loved even. Appreciated. And that certainly drove him crazy.

“Come here,” he whispered, hands reaching out to grab Jongin’s shoulders and to pull the other man down to clash their lips together in that much craved kiss. Jongin swallowed the moans that ripped out of Kyungsoo’s body when the editor grinded on him, the rough fabric of his jeans rubbing against Kyungsoo’s hardening and sensitive member. The friction made his insides turn, it made his entire body scream for more. For so much more.

He almost complained when Jongin broke the kiss and started kissing his neck instead, while grinding down on him. Kyungsoo pursed his lips and threw his head back.

“No,” Jongin said, eyes flashing up. They were darker than usual, filled with lust. “I want to hear you.”

And what Jongin wanted, Jongin got. He always did. Kyungsoo’s lips parted to release the moan when Jongin pressed their crotches together again, and when he dipped down to press an open-mouthed kiss directly on his nipple his back arched off the bed, the sweetest delight coursing through his veins.

“I want you,” Kyungsoo whispered, because he didn’t trust himself to speak any louder. He was afraid he’d start sobbing because of all that pent-up pleasure, because of all his issues. So he just whispered, fingers clinging to Jongin’s body, urging him. “I _need_ you.”

The sounds from the TV were still buzzing in the other room, the light creaking of the door whenever the breeze came in through the window and grazed it. The sounds of cars from the street, the distant chatter of people.

Yet, Kyungsoo could hear nothing but his own heavy breaths and needy moans and the loud beating of his heart.

Kyungsoo wanted to keep his eyes open when Jongin sunk down and his kisses started trailing down his thighs, tickling his skin. He wanted to watch, because Jongin looking so perfectly wrecked was definitely a sight he wanted engraved in his mind. But those light kisses, those feathery touches had his eyes rolling back in pleasure and his hands uselessly flailing around on the messed up sheets of the mattress.

The loudest gasp escaped his lips when he felt Jongin’s mouth on his hole, a delicate touch of his tongue against his rim. Kyungsoo’s entire body shot up in surprise and Jongin had to tightly grab his waist to keep him from moving.

His entire body was writhing on the sheets as Jongin kept lapping on his hole, tongue as skilful as his fingers, and the moans that ripped out of his chest were loud and whiny.

“ _Oh God_ ,” Kyungsoo trapped his lower lips between his teeth, eyes shooting wide open because of the pleasure he was feeling. His fingers dug into the sheets. “Keep going.”

Kyungsoo was pretty sure his soul left his body when Jongin’s tongue slid past his ring of muscles. He was eating him out the same way eh did everything else – with elegance and precision. Making sure it was perfect. And it was, it really was. Kyungsoo was whining and sobbing in his bliss, working hard to keep his legs open and not to smash Jongin’s head between his knees.

His eyelids fluttered when he felt Jongin sliding a finger inside him, mouth moving to kiss him on his thigh, on his abdomen, on the tip of his already hard and leaking cock. Kyungsoo gasped again at the deeper intrusion. Finally, inside him. He pressed his hips down to meet Jongin’s finger, wanting more, needing more. He just wanted Jongin to make him his over and over again, to not leave a part of him untouched. He wanted to be his.

Here and everywhere.

Kyungsoo’s fingers blindly reached up to search his nightstand. Jongin didn’t stop his fingers and kisses for even a second. In fact, he slid in a second finger along the first and Kyungsoo had to fight hard with himself to not come here and now. Heavens knew, he probably could. Jongin was working magic on him.

He let out a sigh of relief when he finally found the little bottle of lube, tossing it down on the bed towards Jongin.

The editor seemed to take the hint, because he slid his fingers in and out of Kyungsoo a few more times, pressing a wet kiss to the tip of his cock again, before finally sliding away from him.

His eyes were sultry, and the way he looked when he stood up from the bed was out of this world – his lips were red, puffy from all that kissing, and his body seemed golden under the orange rays of the late afternoon sun streaming through the window. Kyungsoo used those few seconds to compose himself, to regulate his breathing. TO prepare himself for what was to come.

His favourite sound in the world – Jongin undoing his belt with hasty and impatient fingers, kicking the fabric down his legs, along with his underwear. His body was heavenly, and he was also hard – as hard as Kyungsoo himself. He was glad to know he had this effect on the other man.

Kyungsoo’s breath hitched in anticipation when the mattress underneath him dipped as jongin joined him on the bed again. Those elegant fingers were focused on the lube bottle, on spreading it on his member carefully.

“You ready?” Jongin asked, hovering above him. A finger flew up to remove a sweaty strand of hair from his forehead. Kyungsoo nodded breathlessly. He’d never been readier.

Jongin smiled down at him, palm caressing his cheek as he leaned down to kiss him. Again, that soft and calming touch of his lips against his, under complete control.

Kyungsoo shut his eyes tightly at the sensation of Jongin’s member aligning with his entrance, at the sudden weight inside his body when Jongin pushed in slowly. As he filled him up completely and stood there, unmoving, littering Kyungsoo’s face with kisses until he remembered how to breathe. The air burned his lungs, as if his body wasn’t on fire already. He reached out to grab Jongin’s shoulders again, fingers digging into the other’s skin tightly, as he relished the sensation of their bodies being so close, connected. Of Jongin inside him and his hot breaths on his skin, as he waited for him.

“Move. _Please_ ,” Kyungsoo croaked out. He breathed out when Jongin looked at him, expression hardly containing the want in his eyes. He appreciated the quick kiss on his cheek, before Jongin pulled back, almost sliding out of him, before rolling his hips forward again.

Kyungsoo closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relief. It felt so good to be filled like this. Especially when Jongin’s pace increased and he found a rhythm of his hips pulling back and then thrusting forward. The feeling of his cock dragging sweetly against his walls was causing every part of him to rejoice in utter bliss.

His breaths were heavy and his moans were rolling off his tongue. His entire body felt sensitive beneath Jongin, as his boyfriend slowly picked up the pace. As the painfully slow thrusts became harder and deeper by the second. Kyungsoo forgot about everything else in the world, but that sweet burning sensation and Jongin’s name on his lips.

Kyungsoo gasped when Jongin reached down and pulled him up with his strong hands, changing the angle and depth of his thrusts. Kyungsoo whined pathetically, fingers holding on to him for dear life as he thrusted deeper inside him, finding that one spot that made everything in Kyungsoo’s world evaporate.

His eyes rolled back and his head lulled down on Jongin’s shoulder. He let out another shattered breath when Jongin’s lips latched on his neck and he started sucking and nibbling on the skin, never breaking the rhythm of his thrusts. Kyungsoo’s body felt limp, pleasure coming from everywhere. “

“ _Fuck_ ,” Kyungsoo hissed at a particularly hard thrust, a moan rolling off his tongue.

Pleasure. All he could feel was pleasure.

All he could hear was his own ragged breathing and the low, hoarse groans coming out of Jongin’s lips, mixed with blissful moans of his name every now and then.

Kyungsoo raised a hand to Jongin’s face, pulling him closer to connect their lips in a sweet kiss. He pushed down to meet Jongin’s thrusts, both of them simultaneously moaning in each other’s mouths. It felt good to know that Jongin was just as affected as him, that he was having just as much fun as he did.

He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. He had known since the moment they first walked into the bedroom. Especially not when Jongin laid him down on the bed again and started fucking into him harder and deeper than before, thrusts more erratic than before. Not controlled anymore, not precise and fluid. Just needy and hasty. Kyungsoo felt himself tightening around Jongin and he heard the other man releasing a low growl at the sensation.

Kyungsoo would have probably screamed out in pleasure when graceful fingers wrapped around his cock and started pumping his length in rhythm with the thrusts, but Jongin’s lips silenced him.

His back arched off the bed and all he could see was white when his pleasure peaked. He felt his entire body shuddering and his load shooting all over Jongin’s hand, as the other man kept rolling his hips and pushing inside him, riding him through his orgasm.

Kyungsoo’s eyelids fluttered again when only a few seconds later Jongin stiffened above him and he felt him coming inside him. He was breathing heavily, supporting himself on shaky arms above Kyungsoo.

“Come over here,” Kyungsoo said, voice broken and load at this point as he reached up to pull Jongin down on the bed. He hissed when the other man slid out of him, the emptiness sudden.

He felt boneless, but he willed himself to roll on his side, and to look at Jongin’s face. At that beautiful, gleaming with sweat face, at those soft eyes that were locked on him, at those plump lips, red and abused. He had never looked more perfect.

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo whispered, leaning down to press a kiss on Jongin’s cheek. He shut his eyes tightly, feeling the other’s chest rising up and down with his heavy breaths.

Jongin’s hand felt heavy when it found its way to his waist, pulling him closer. Kyungsoo didn’t fight it. He nuzzled into Jongin, hiding his face in the crook of his neck.

“Anytime.”

* * *

Reality started slipping slowly after shower and dinner and after the sun’s last rays disappeared. As the moon slowly started rising up in the night’s sky, and they lied down on the couch together, limbs tangled together, embraces loose. As long as they were close to one another.

Reality started slipping slowly when Kyungsoo’s worries started resurfacing again, as he started looking for the strength within himself to finally say it. To risk it all and say it. He knew, especially after today, that Jongin cared about him. That he _truly_ cared. He deserved the truth and Kyungsoo _wanted_ to tell him. He wanted to let him in on his struggles, he wanted them to work it all out together.

Yet, it was so hard. When Jongin’s hands were lazily playing with his hair and as he was peering down at his face so affectionately, it was so hard to speak those words that would ruin that perfect moment.

“Why are you so pretty?” Jongin asked at one point, catching Kyungsoo off guard. He felt heat rising to his cheeks. He was flustered, mostly because it felt kind of ridiculous to have _Jongin_ , of all people, asking him that. “Why are you so cute?”

If Jongin’s goal was distracting him, then he surely succeeded because Kyungsoo found himself shaking his head shyly and leaning down to shut Jongin up with chaste kisses.

He almost wished he could freeze this moment and stay like this forever.

Life, however, was unkind, and when Jongin stood up, Kyungsoo felt a childish frown making its way to his lips.

“ _Stay_ ,” Kyungsoo whispered, holding the door open after Jongin who had just stepped out of his apartment.

Jongin turned around then, a very tempted look in his eyes. He looked like he would nod and return inside. For a moment, Kyungsoo really thought he’d stay.

But a small, lopsided smile pulled on Jongins lips when he reached up to pull Kyungsoo forward by his neck. Their noses were brushing and Kyungsoo could feel his breath on his skin.

“I can’t. I still have to pack for tomorrow.”

Kyungsoo closed his eyes when Jongin kissed him softly, a gentle kiss, a promise. He wanted to cling to him, he didn’t want to break the kiss, but Jongin’s fingers slid down from his neck and he finally stepped back.

“I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo sighed out, trying his best to smile and to ignore the weight in his heart. “I’ll see you on Monday.”

When Jongin turned around and started walking down the stairs, Kyungsoo heaved a sigh.

There were so many more things to say. Things that were on his tongue, but he still was too afraid to utter.

He closed the door with a quiet sigh, returning to his empty apartment and pulling the robe tighter around himself, trying to breathe in Jongin’s scent.

* * *

“So you and Jongin, huh?”

Kyungsoo looked up sharply from the documents on his desk. Sehun wasn’t looking at him. He did, however, have a little smirk pulling on his lips as he kept typing whatever it was that he was typing on his phone.

It was an inevitable conversation, Kyungsoo supposed, his breath catching in his throat as he looked at the first assistant. A conversation that was bound to happen at some point. Especially after the launch party.

There was no point in trying to avoid the subject, Kyungsoo knew he’d have to go through it anyways. Instead, he furrowed his eyebrows and leaned back in his chair.

“How the hell did you know anyways?”

“Oh, you mean aside from you making out in a corner of a party in front of a hundred people?” Sehun raised his eyebrow at him, looking unimpressed. “Just a hunch.”

Kyungsoo frowned at the first assistant.

“Did-…did Jongin tell you?”

“ _Please_ ,” Sehun scoffed, still typing on his phone.  “I spend more time around Jongin than I do with my family. I know him better than anybody else ever did before me. He didn’t have to say anything, I could read him like an open book. He didn’t, however, tell me, because he doesn’t pay me to be his friend. He pays me to do my job without meddling in his personal business.”

Kyungsoo watched as Sehun finally set the phone down on the desk and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Besides, you were so obvious. Staying behind after work hours? Jongin declining all those interviews? That ridiculously long trip to Japan? All those lingering stares and smiles? Do you take me for an idiot?”

“What are we talking about, lovelies?”

Kyungsoo straightened up in absolute distress as Baekhyun walked into the office, carrying two boxes that he set on Sehun’s desk.

“Just how Kyungsoo and Jongin both suck at keeping secrets,” Sehun said and Kyungsoo shot him a deadly look.

Baekhyun, however, didn’t seem impressed, as he just leaned back on the desk and gave Kyungsoo a sleazy look.

“Ah, so _that_ cat’s out of the bag now, huh? How long have you two been fucking? Before or after Japan?”

“I-… _what_?” Kyungsoo breathed out, eyes shooting from Baekhyun to Sehun and then back again. “You knew too?”

“Of course I knew,” Baekhyun huffed, pushing one of the boxes closer to Sehun. “That’s for Jongin to evaluate, the other needs to be shipped for processing in the fabric.” Then he looked back towards Kyungsoo, a smirk pulling his lips. “I know _everything_.”

There was something unsettling in the suddenly sombre look in Baekhyun’s eyes. Something utterly disturbing as the usually playful and smiling Baekhyun looked at him with a twitch of his eyebrows.

“Speaking of secrets,” the redhead said, voice lower. “What do you plan on doing about the job offer?”

Kyungsoo must have looked comically ridiculous, because Baekhyun just let out a scoff and rolled his eyes.

“Wendy told me about it,” the designer hummed, throwing a look towards Sehun, who didn’t react in any way. He seemed to be very much aware of the situation too.

“Do you all just keep gossiping around, how the hell do you-“

“Don’t avoid the question,” Baekhyun raised his eyebrows, before eventually shrugging. “And yes. Yes, we do. There’s not much to do on calm days.”

Kyungsoo wanted to counter that, but Baekhyun’s look on him was surprisingly serious, and so was Sehun’s. He felt cornered. He felt helpless.

He then looked back at his colleagues and friends.

So many worries. He didn’t want to keep Sehun tied to his spot as assistant. He didn’t want to make him feel guilty for also getting another job offer. He didn’t want both of them to leave Jongin. _He_ didn’t want to leave Jongin. Yet, he had to consider everything. HE had to think about himself and his future.

He leaned back in the chair again, breathing out heavily. His eyes flashed towards the computer on his desk, towards the email waiting in his drafts, waiting to be sent.

And then he looked back to his friends, shaking his head tiredly.

“I have no idea.”

 

 

 

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	15. Editor's Cut

**Editor's Cut**

_Jongin_

 

 

All eyes were on him as he entered the building through the front entrance. Everybody’s pace seemed to quicken, everybody seemed to suddenly come alive – moving faster, almost running out of his way.

"Good morning, Mr. Kim," the receptionist greeted him kindly, just like he did every morning. He nodded curtly in his direction, not even staying behind for a second. There were piles of work that were waiting to be finished. He didn’t have time to stay back for pleasantries and useless chatter. He never did. Instead, he hurried to the barriers where the receptions had swiped the entrance card for him to enter. "Have a great day, Mr. Kim!"

Other whispers of the same greeting followed him all the way until he reached the elevator. There was some young kid there – too young, maybe 20 at most. Too short to be a model. Too bland to be a designer. An intern, he supposed, as he entered the elvator.

"Oh, I‘m sorry, Mr. Kim." the intern looked startled when he saw him, almost dropping whatever sketches he was holding. Then he bowed and stumbled out of the elevator. Whatever he said next, probably wishing him a good day too, remained unheard because the doors of the elevator closed swiftly and Jongin heaved a sigh, looking at his watch.

10:27

 There was no time to waste on anything. His foot impatiently started tapping the floor of the elevator until it finally reached the 12th floor and the doors slid open to reveal the long white hall with the white walls and white desks. The huge windows and the glass doors.

VOGUE.

A place that felt so natural, so _his_ , that he almost breathed out a sigh – a mix of exasperation and relief.

He walked forward, the distant clattering of heels on the white tiles sounding like background music to his every day life at this point.

He pushed the glass doors open, stepping into the white office.

"-so I told him I won‘t sleep with him cause that‘s usually not what I do on a first date-"

"Since when?"  Sehun scoffed.

"-but he pouted and he was so cute and like, what was I supposed to do then? Say no?"

He felt a smile tugging on his lips at the not so unusual sight – Baekhyun with his faded red hair sitting on Kyungsoo‘s desk and staring challengingly at a slightly underwhelmed Sehun, whose eyes were fixated on the laptop screen. Kyungsoo‘s fingers were tapping on the keyboard, he was writing an email by the looks of it, a disapproving glint in his beautiful, big eyes, as he dragged some documents from under Baekhyun‘s ass.

VOGUE. A place that felt like home.

"Nobody wants to hear about your sexcapades first thing in the morning."

Three pairs of eyes moved towards him then. Sehun shot out of his seat immediately, rushing forward to help him out of his jacket. Kyungsoo‘s eyes flashed towards him, a little smile stretching his lips, a kind of tired smile, a kind of ‚finally he can shut up because you‘re here‘ smile. Jongin understood it all too well.

And then there was Baekhyun, who just hopped off the desk with raised eyebrows.

"A little dicking never hurt anybody. Trust me." His most trusted editor crossed his arms inf ront of his chest. "Besides, it‘s not first thing in the morning for all of us. Some of us start our work day at 9."

"And some of us start it at 7," Kyungsoo‘s mumble was low, but Jongin heard it. His eyes flashed towards the desk where his second assistant was sitting in that large office chair – he wasn‘t even looking towards them as he continued writing the email, that suit fitting his form beautifully. Tom Ford, was it? His eyes lingered on the man a little longer than necessary, the smile tugging on his lips. It was Baekhyun who let out the audible laugh.

Jongin‘s eyes narrowed and he almost sighed out.

"Anyways, I‘ve been waiting for you," Baekhyun said eventually, picking up a stack of papers from Kyungsoo‘s desk, along with a box. Jongin‘s eyes narrowed. "The samples from the fabric in busan are here. There are a lot of corrections to be made and I don‘t think we can manage it all on time. Also, there‘s this absolute mockery of an article that I received for the mock up."

"Alright," he nodded, a sour taste filling his mouth. "We‘ll go over it right away. Any news from the manager of the actress?"

"No," Sehun said once he‘d hanged his coat. "But we did get a call from Minseok. He won‘t be available next week due to family matters, so we will have to reschedule your photoshoot for Elle."

Jongin pursed his lips in thought for a mere second, before nodding.

"Alright. Push the board meeting to Friday and see if Minseok is available today after four. If he can‘t do it today, contact Elle and cancel the feature. If he can, call the stylists and makeup artists, we will need them at the studio by two."

If Sehun had anything to day about his decision, he didn‘t. He just pulled out a tablet and started noting down everything that he said.

"Then call Krystal and tell her we‘ll be needing headshots from all our models by Wednesday. We are looking for new faces for the spring-summer campaign. Talk to marketing. See if they can start working on connections with the Met. Get passes for our reporters and photographers. What happened with the art galleries?"

"We can‘t take the artwork, but we _could_ have a photoshoot in the Louvre," Kyungsoo said, finally looking away from the computer and picking up a notebook instead. He looked down at it, slightly hesitant. "There are a ton of requirements and conditions, though. I‘ve compiled them and forwarded them to you, as well as the legal department."

"What about the costs?"

"For a crew of up to 50 people, it would be over 36 thousand dollars, depending on the different galleries we want to use."

Jongin hummed in understanding.

"Very well. Forward the terms to the financial department too, let‘s see if we can make it work."

He was about to let everybody return to their work and newly given tasks, and enter his office with Baekhyun to check those articles, but Kyungsoo clearing his throat quietly stopped him.

"What about the run through?" the man asked, looking at him from under dark lashes. His plush lips were parted and Jongin wanted to just look at them and forget about anything else. But work was a pressing matter right here and now, so he had to clear his own throat and to collect his thoughts before he‘d make a fool of himself. "If we reschedule the photoshoot to today and push the board meeting for Friday, when should we fit in the run through?"

Jongin almost cursed out loud. He felt the sigh building up in his chest and the frown pulling on his lips.

"Is Thursday afternoon free?"

"No," Sehun said after approximately 0.2 seconds. "Dior flaship store opening."

 _Damn it_. He set his jaw, looking around the room, his head already hurting. SO many things to do and so little time. If he could stretch the week, he would.

His eyes flashed towards Sehun first, then towards Kyungsoo. Finally, they landed on Baekhyun. He pursed his lips in thought. It lasted less than two seconds.

"Alright, then," he said, reaching up to pull on the tie that was getting too tight around his neck. "Leave the run-through for today. Sehun, you will record everything that happens in there and you will report to me in the evening."

"Alright, but who is going to-"

„Baekhyun,“ Jongin cut his assistant off and the editor looked him from behind rimmed glasses. "You‘re going to assemble the final outfits today at the run through. Sehun, you can also give your input in my absense. If there are any changes that need to be made I will contact you after getting the report tonight."

To say Baekhyun seemed surprised would be an understatement. To say he was obviously pleased would be true. He almost choked on that damn lollipop that was hanging from the corner of his mouth, a grin slowly stretching on his face.

"And Kyungsoo," Jongin‘s head turned to his second assistant, to his boyfriend. It felt like he was breathing fresh air when he looked at the shorter man with those beautiful, big eyes and those plush lips that brought out not so distant memories. He was grateful that the tie was not so tight around his neck anymore. If it was, his face would have gotten red already. "You‘ll come with me to studio in the afternoon. Everything will be very rushed, so I‘ll need your help there, directing the styling and the makeup teams."

The silence that fell in the office was almost suffocating, but also liberating. He nodded absentmindedly, mostly to himself, quite pleased with the decisions he had made. Then he stepped forward, towards the arched doorway of his office. He raised his eyebrows at Baekhyun.

"Come on, now," he urged, hand motioning towards the papers in Baekhyun‘s arms. „We don‘t have a lot of time and we need to fix that.“

* * *

It was the third change of clothes and his eyelids were starting to burn from how tired he was – every time he closed his eyes it was harder to open them again and face all the flashes of the camera and the burning light from the reflectors that was blinding him.

Every time a picture was taken, the beep would fill the sound and Minseok’s assistants would look towards the screens of the laptops perched on different chairs and tables next to the photographer.

“Look at the camera,” Minseok instructed and despite the flashes and the burning, Jongin forced himself to look up, face and body relaxed, as he put one leg in front of the other, his finger hooking in the belt hoop. He started spinning slowly, arm stretched out. He raised his chin then, looking at the camera. The following series of sounds was loud – camera shutter going off, assistants looking back and forth between the different pieces of equipment. Minseok’s voice sounded muffled in the middle of all that ruckus. “ _Excellent!_ ”

Jongin just stood there, in the corner of the studio, in front of the white backdrop, moving ever so slightly, giving looks to the camera and letting Minseok work his magic. They had worked together for many years now – Minseok knew him all too well. He knew when to take the picture, he knew how to take it. He knew how much to raise his camera or how much to lower his body to the floor, giving different depths to each photograph, making every single shot unique. That’s what made him the best, and that’s what made him the only photographer Jongin ever agreed to work with.

He raised his hand for a pose, fingers brushing the few locks of hair that were falling over his eyes, and he looked at the camera again. Click. He turned to the side, hand sliding down his face. Click. His finger brushed against his lower lip and he sighed out. Click. Click. Down to his chin and neck. Click. He caught the cuff of the white shirt, looking down. Click. He turned on his heel, the light fabric of the shirt swaying behind him. Click.

His eyes shot up when he heard the heavy doors of the studio opening. Surely enough, it was Kyungsoo.

He let out a sigh of relief upon the sight of the smaller man walking in with all those cup holders. His cheeks were sort of pink, maybe from hurrying so much, his hair was unruly and his eyes were shooting in all directions when he walked in, until they met Jongin’s.

That’s when he stopped in his place and gave him a half smile, awkwardly shaking one of the cup holders. He then startled, when a few drops of coffee got on his hand. Jongin almost chuckled.

Kyungsoo sometimes was so awkward to the point it would look equal parts amusing and endearing. Lately, exactly that awkwardness, that seamless shift of his behaviour whenever Jongin was around – turning into a little, awkward ball of nerves – was starting to look more and more precious to him. He appreciated every little smile on those plush lips, every awkward flash of a quick look from those big, doe eyes.

“Let’s take a short break,” Minseok said before he could, eyes already hungrily and almost maniacally following the coffee cups in Kyungsoo’s arms.

Jongin felt all tension disappearing from his shoulders, when Minseok set down his camera and almost jogged to where Kyungsoo was standing, picking up one of the heavy tray cup holders from his hands to bring over to his assistants.

He, too, walked forward. Waiting for the crowd around Kyungsoo to clear out, all the staff taking their coffees and scattering, until Kyungsoo was left standing there, dishevelled almost, with two cups left in his hands.

“There you go,” Kyungsoo said after quickly scanning the tag on the cup. “Iced matcha tea.”

“Thank you,” Jongin mumbled, taking the cold cup from Kyungsoo’s fingers, skin brushing against the other’s hand. Kyungsoo looked up at the soft contact, doe eyes widened, when Jongin caught his hand without a single care. He tilted his head. “Let’s sit down?”

Kyungsoo nodded, a little grateful smile blooming on his pretty face. Jongin turned around to scan the studio. The stylists were sitting on the little couch in the corner of the studio. The scattered chairs were also occupied – either by Minseok’s assistants, or by equipment. There wasn’t much of a choice.

He dragged Kyungsoo forward to the white backdrop, to those little cubes and chairs that had been scattered for the photoshoot.

“There we go,” Jongin picked up one of the chairs, offering it to Kyungsoo, who seemed a little bit stunned, sitting in the middle of all those lights. He sat down on one of the cubes and took a sip of his drink.

The liquid felt freezing as he felt it trickle down his throat and behind his chest. It felt awakening, his entire body reacting to the cold. It was refreshing.

Even more so that Kyungsoo’s little agitated sighs as he raised a hand to try and flatten his hair.

“The wind outside is really strong,” he almost whined, fingers running through his hair. Jongin just smiled in his cup. Endearing. Kyungsoo seemed to have given up on his hair after another three strokes of his fingers against the unruly locks, before shaking his head in defeat. “Anyways, Sehun texted me. Junmyeon asked for some edited copy of an article about the history of VOGUE…?”

Jongin held in the sigh.

“Tell Junmyeon to wait, I’m ready with it but I want to discuss it with him in more detail. Tell him we’ll be back in the office by 9.”

“Alright,” Kyungsoo had pulled out a tablet to quickly type in Jongin’s instructions. “Sehun also says that we never received the sponsored items from, uh-…Fergamo.”

Jongin smiled now, a real smile stretching his lips and letting his teeth show, as he lowered his head to hide it. So adorable.

“Ferragamo, you mean,” he corrected quietly, taking another sip from his tea. “And yes, I am aware. Krystal told me. She said she contacted them again, they will send it for the next issue. Tell them to continue the run through without those belts.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo muttered, a light blush creeping on his cheeks.

There was something entirely fascinating about Kyungsoo’s face and how expressive it was – a thousand words could fit in just one look. A thousand emotions could be relayed by a simple move of his eyebrows or a twitch of his lips. A scrunch of his nose. His face was like an open book that Jongin would read all the time.

“Is there anything else?” he asked, raising one eyebrow as his eyes flashed to the coffee resting on the ground next to Kyungsoo’s leg. “That will get cold.”

“It’s already cold,” Kyungsoo sighed, leaning down to pick up the cup. “Iced Americano.”

“ _Gross_ ,” Jongin sniffed and it was Kyungsoo’s turn to smile and to hide that smile by lowering his head.

His hand lowered with the tea, as he took the moment to appreciate Kyungsoo’s cheeks that rode up and made his eyes turn into little crescents when he smiled, to appreciate the way his lips stretched and started resembling a heart.

He felt a pang in his chest. _So beautiful_.

“Are you-“ he started but cut himself off. He had been about to ask something very stupid. Of course Kyungsoo didn’t have plans for later. They were supposed to go back to the office after this, to tackle another pile of work that just kept getting bigger and bigger in their absence. Sehun was a great assistant, but he wasn’t Superman. He couldn’t possibly finish everything by himself. He cleared his throat and corrected the question. “Do you want to go somewhere after work today?”

Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows while sipping on his eyebrows, eyes shooting to the side. Jongin followed his glance and he smirked.

“Don’t mind them,” he said, ignoring the stylists that were looking at them every now and then. Kyungsoo didn’t seem convinced however, because he pursed his lips and Jongin gave him a lopsided smile.

He sometimes forgot just how different they were. And not because Kyungsoo had started dressing up, not because he was fitting in VOGUE finally, making friends with designers and models. All of that didn’t matter.

He sometimes forgot that despite it all, Kyungsoo was still just a very shy and closed off college graduate. He was not used to being in the spotlight, was not used to being the talk. He was not used to leading the lifestyle that Jongin had had for years now.

He straightened up then, raising a hand to run through his hair, completely forgetting about that stupid beret perched on his head with a few pins. He scowled at the pull on his hair and caught the hat. The glare that he sent in the direction of the stylists wasn’t even completely intentional, but it worked its purpose and caused the three women to look away at once.

Kyungsoo, who had followed his eyes, simply sighed out in front of him. His smile was angelic when he smiled, so different from the sharp lines of his jawline and eyebrows. Eventually, he nodded absentmindedly.

“It will be really late when we finish, though.” He remarked and Jongin hummed in agreement.

“We can always go back to my place.”

It was always fun to see Kyungsoo blushing when he hit him with something like this out of nowhere. He had to admit, he sometimes did it intentionally just to see the way the other man would tense suddenly for a few moments, before blinking his surprise away. Jongin smirked when Kyungsoo’s eyes wandered around the entire set, actively avoiding his face, as he nodded.

“Sure,” his voice was kind of squeaky, before he cleared his throat. “You, uh-…you have the fitting at Dior tomorrow morning anyways and I was supposed to meet you there.”

“We’ll just go together then. That’s great.”

Jongin tried not to feel to excited, but that giddiness spread in his chest slowly. At least he had something to look forward to after the entire day of work. At least he had Kyungsoo to look forward to.

Be it his soft eyes peering up at him, or those soft lips pressing against his. Be it his deep laughter when he laughed or the way his eyebrows furrowed when he was concentrated on what Jongin was saying.

As long as he got to spend some time with him, he was happy.

He blinked, a little surprised, when Kyungsoo reached out to gently pull out the beret from his fingers. He then raised it to his head and Jongin understood his intentions on time. He lowered his head a little, letting his boyfriend put the beret back on his head. Gentle fingers, even gentler and more precise than those of the hair stylist, were arranging the hair under the beret, before he finally pulled it down on his head. He felt the slide of the pins as Kyungsoo secured it in place.

He didn’t even care how it looked, he didn’t even care if his hair was sticking out in all directions.

He looked up with a half-smile. Kyungsoo was already distractedly smiling, that little crease between his eyebrows as he looked at the beret, trying to fix any imperfections. Then his fingers slid down to the collar of his white shirt, down to the ruffles hanging from the front.

 _Click_.

Kyungsoo lowered his hands suddenly, head shooting to the side. Jongin looked in the direction of the sound too.

Minseok was smiling behind his camera.

“Don’t stop,” the photographer said, suddenly looking apologetic. Jongin blinked towards Kyungsoo quickly. The shorter man seemed surprised, he seemed tense and most of all – he seemed uncomfortable. Jongin tried to be as discreet as he could when he slid his hand over Kyungsoo’s in what he hoped would be a soothing gesture.

“No, that’s enough,” he said, standing up from the cube and handing his cup to a stunned Kyungsoo. “We still need to return to the office after this, so let’s continue. Everybody’s had their break already, I’m assuming.”

He raised an eyebrow in challenge, daring anyone to say anything. Nobody did.

He watched Kyungsoo retreating to the back of the room, and he almost sighed out. It was like scaring a little bird that had just started trusting you. What he would give to have Kyungsoo be more comfortable around him and others, the way he was when it was just the two of them.

The studio was suddenly alive again, the assistants running back and forth to arrange the lights, the stylists rushing towards him with their tools. Jongin dismissed them with a quick wave as he walked forward to Minseok.

“Hey, I’m really sorry,” Minseok started quietly, shooting a look towards the corner where Kyungsoo was now standing. “I didn’t think he’d get this flustered.”

Jongin nodded understandingly. He looked down to the laptop and the preview of the last shot.

Of him and Kyungsoo looking at each other with those dazed smiles, Kyungsoo’s hand holding that ruffle of his shirt. He didn’t realize how close they had been leaning towards one another until he saw the picture. Had he leaned only a little bit lower then his nose would have touched Kyungsoo.

He smiled at the picture. There was something incredibly raw in it, something incredibly intimate in it.

“Don’t delete this one,” Jongin told Minseok quietly with a sharp glance. “Send it to me once you get home.”

Minseok’s nod was solemn and the smile tugging on his lips was knowing.

* * *

Jongin’s eyelids cracked open, the chilly morning air cold on his arm.

He breathed in deeply and brought his hand around Kyungsoo’s naked shoulders. Sure enough, they were cold. He reached down to pull the blanket higher, to cover Kyungsoo and himself.

Despite the chilly air and the cold in the room because of the open window, he had never felt warmer.

There was something absolutely terrifying in waking up next to someone when you were so used to being alone. Something so absolutely terrifying in having someone in your arms, of someone’s face nuzzling so close to your naked chest in their sleep. Something so terrifying in having someone else’s hair smell like your shampoo.

Yet something so absolutely lovely about it. Jongin peered down at Kyungsoo, at how relaxed his face was while he was sleeping. He looked like an angel – an angel that was all his.

He looked around his wide and empty room. He had gotten so used to it – nothing but bland cream walls and expensive artwork, big windows and expensive furniture. So minimalistic, so simple.

Now, however, it was anything but simple. It was so much more.

That large window, revealing all of Seoul in front of their eyes like the most beautiful painting that could ever exist – it wasn’t just a window anymore. It was the window where him and Kyungsoo had sat on the floor for hours with wine glasses in their hands, talking and taking in the view.

That bathroom, the big and empty bathroom that he would normally use just to take a quick shower in the morning – it wasn’t just a bathroom anymore. It was the place where Kyungsoo gingerly asked him if he had a spare toothbrush. A spare toothbrush that was now in the cup holder next to his.

That bed, the large and comfortable bed that he only slept in after a tiring day at work, just a piece of furniture bought to serve its purpose– it wasn’t just a bed anymore. It was the bed where he got to see all of Kyungsoo – the rawest and most sincere of all layers of Kyungsoo. The place where he got to make him his, to claim him with his lips and to hold his shaking body tightly, to not let go until the sun rose above the horizon and slowly lit up all of Seoul.

It was absolutely terrifying, to have someone come into your life and leave their mark on everything that you had thought was so insignificant before. TO have them come and turn everything upside down.

And it was absolutely terrifying that he didn’t mind.

He just wrapped his hand around Kyungsoo again and tucked his head under his chin, heart skipping a beat in his chest. His eyes looked out of the large window and he watched as the sun’s rays started caressing the city with their gentle and warm touch.

It was absolutely terrifying, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

* * *

“You should try it too,” Jongin said, as he looked to the side where Kyungsoo seemed a tad bit bored and tired, as he waited.

“What?” Kyungsoo looked up from his phone towards him. Jongin just smirked.

“A suit. You should try one on too.”

“Right,” Kyungsoo scoffed, looking back to his phone. Jongin rolled his eyes and turned to the tailor who was making him stay with spread arms as they attached pins to the side of the suit’s top, arranging the buttons and the cross at the front of the top.

“Give me a second,” he told the man, who finished attaching a pin and stepped back.

Jongin stepped down from the little podium and walked towards the obnoxiously large rack of clothes in the fitting rooms of the Dior store. His eyes raked the different materials, the different textures.

“Is there a problem, Mr. Kim?” he heard one of the other tailors asking. “Do you want to try another suit?”

“Not me,” he hummed, pulling out a wool jacket from the racks, with its matching trousers. They were black, simple. Stylish. Something he could definitely see Kyungsoo wearing. “These are for him. Get them taken in.”

“ _What_?!” Kyungsoo looked up from his phone again, this time a little quicker and a little more surprised than before. Jongin handed the suit to the lady who rushed towards him and started pulling another little podium for Kyungsoo to stand on as she started pulling out pins and measuring tapes.

“Come on,” Jongin said with a smile, returning to his own place and spreading his arms again as his tailor continued his work. “It’s fun.”

“How is having someone shove pins around you any fun?!” Kyungsoo frowned and elicited a few quiet chuckles from around the room. The enthusiastic young woman was urging him to get up from the couch, though, and despite his apparent hesitance, he did stand up. He shot a look towards him and Jongin nodded encouragingly.

“It really is fun, trust me,” Jongin insisted, watching Kyungsoo’s eyebrows shoot up for a moment, before his shoulders slumped and he looked at that free little podium next to Jongin’s. “Do it for me?”

Kyungsoo looked up at that, surprised and most probably flustered. He pursed his lips, those plush lips that Jongin do desperately wanted to kiss but he couldn’t move now.

“Fine,” Kyungsoo let himself be pushed up. He gave him a sharp look. “But you’re not going to tell Baekhyun and Sehun anything about this. They’re already having enough of a blast making fun of me.”

“Making fun of you for _what_?”

Jongin didn’t mean to sound threatening or as sharp as he did. He blinked at Kyungsoo’s quiet laughter.

“Hey, no need to murder anybody. They’re just being friends. And that’s what friends do, they make fun of each other.”

Jongin blinked. He then shrugged.

“I guess.”

* * *

It was about an hour later when Jongin was finally back in his own clothes and waiting for the tailor to finish with Kyungsoo, who seemed more and more reluctant with every second passing. Especially ever since Jongin had perched himself on the couch and started staring at him and the way he was standing there, unable to move.

“You’re really liking this, aren’t you?” Kyungsoo had scoffed at him at one point and Jongin had just laughed.

“Hey, I did tell you it’s fun.”

“Fun for _you_.”

But it was all worth it when the tailors stepped away from Kyungsoo and Jongin finally got to see him. The suit fit his body perfectly – every curve accentuated, every line sharp. The fabric of the calligraphy shirt clung to Kyungsoo’s chest just enough and Jongin found himself blinking way too quickly. Because sure, he was a workaholic, his job was important to him. He was attached to the magazine and to fashion. But there was just something pleasing in being in on a secret that nobody else knew – only he knew what was beneath those perfect clothes. And for the first time in forever, he didn’t care about the fashion. He didn’t care about the suit. Only for the person inside it.

“Say something,” Kyungsoo chided, face looking suspiciously flushed. “This is nerve-wracking.”

Jongin nodded. Indeed. It was nerve-wracking. How a piece of clothing could make him think about his entire life. Past and present and future.

“You look like a walking felony,” Jongin said simply, shrugging. “It’s perfect.”

Kyungsoo’s lip curled into a little smile. He looked down to the suit with a little shrug.

“It is pretty, yeah,” he mumbled absentmindedly. After a few seconds, he looked up. “Alright. We’re done here, right? Let me get out of this and help them get rid of all the pins and we can leave.”

Jongin stood up when the tailors helped Kyungsoo get out of the suit. His eyes narrowed when the tailor reached for the first pin.

“No,” he said and she looked up to him, surprised. “Don’t take those out.”

He could feel Kyungsoo’s sharp gaze on himself. For once, he ignored it, as he continued speaking to the tailors.

“Get that taken in and send it along with my suit.”

“No!” Kyungsoo protested, jumping down from the podium before the assistants of the tailors could unbutton the shirt. “No, I don’t _need_ a suit.”

“But you look good in it,” Jongin reputed with a shrug, turning to the tailor. “Put it on my card.”

“Jongin!”

“Thank you,” he smiled at the tailor, who was shooting confused glances between him and Kyungsoo. He finally walked away with both suits and Jongin looked down to the dumbfounded man in front of himself.

“Why-…why’d you do that?!” Kyungsoo sighed, already defeated.

“Because you liked it,” Jongin said and Kyungsoo just raised his brows with a frown. Jongin shrugged. “Because it looked good on you.”

Kyungsoo still was frowning stubbornly and Jongin just laughed, reaching out to slide his hands down the silky sleeves of the Dior shirt the shorter was still wearing. He pulled him closer, their bodies meeting sharply.

“Because I _wanted_ to.”

Kyungsoo just sighed out, but didn’t say anything else. There was nothing to say.

It was something everybody knew. Whatever Kim Jongin wanted, Kim Jongin got.

“It’s not fair,” Kyungsoo said eventually, when it was just the two of them in the fitting room. He sounded defeated, almost whiny. “You get me these ridiculously expensive gifts and I can’t do the same for you. It’s really frustrating.”

Jongin laughed at that.

Maybe, sometimes, it was more than great that Kyungsoo wasn’t so used to his world. Because he still got to see the purity in people, he still got to see the difference in their worlds and it was fascinating. Nobody in his world would have complained about an expensive gift. And then there was Kyungsoo.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jongin said, raising his hand to cup Kyungsoo’s face. “You have already given me the biggest gift you could possibly give me.”

Kyungsoo blinked up to him, a confused glint in his eyes, but Jongin just smiled it off.

He leaned down to press their lips together instead, in a soft and slow kiss.

And that kiss made everything inside him warm again.

Yes, he gave Kyungsoo a watch and a suit. Yes, he could keep giving him expensive gifts, he could give him shoes, he could him a laptop, a car, he could give him a house if he wished.

But nothing would ever amount to what Kyungsoo had already given him.

An escape from his grey and lonely life.

 _Colour_.

Jongin shut his eyes tightly, pressing their bodies even tighter and letting his entire body react to Kyungsoo’s touch and his breath trapped between his lips.

* * *

The bar was little and for a place this little and unknown, it was quite crowded.

“Because it’s Saturday night,” Kyungsoo had said loudly when they first entered, loud enough for him to hear over the music from the live band playing on the little stage.

It was definitely something new. The tables were little and cramped too close to one another, the chairs weren’t really comfortable. Some of the glasses had questionable stains on them and some of the old men by the bar were speaking too loudly and too hotly.

But it had a rather interesting charm. A rather mundane feeling to it. Chaotic and loud.

Jongin took a sip straight from the beer bottle, looking around the decorative lights.

It was fascinating. He liked it.

Kyungsoo’s friends seemed to be looking at him like he was some sort of fossil. Jongdae’s eyes were surprisingly calculating. Chanyeol’s were shooting down to his clothes every minute or so.

At some point, Jongin started wondering what was wrong with them. He looked down to his white shirt. Kyungsoo had said casual, right? So he’d pulled out the first shirt from Ralph Lauren he found in his wardrobe and he just dragged it on without much thought. They were only going to a bar, after all.

Surprisingly enough, when Jongin wasn’t in his element at a VOGUE party, and when it wasn’t Christmas eve, there seemed to be a very awkward silence falling over the table every time the three friends shared some inside joke and laughed. Then they’d be silent again until some of the four came forward with a random topic they could discuss for another two minutes before awkwardly laughing again and then taking a sip of their drink and trying to think of something else to speak about.

It’s not that he didn’t enjoy his time with Kyungsoo’s friends – he did. He really did. He just thought that it was surprisingly intimidating. Now that Kyungsoo wasn’t just his employee, now that Kyungsoo was his boyfriend, he wanted his friends to _like_ him. He wanted them to _approve_ of him.

He’d never given much thought to it before, because everybody around him liked him. They _had_ to like him. But Kyungsoo’s friends were different. They weren’t like those people who worked with him.

“Oh!” Jongin mused quickly once a new thought crossed his mind. He pulled the beer from his lips, raising his eyebrows in Chanyeol’s direction. “Baekhyun told me that he’s considering you as a model for his next line, isn’t that right?”

“Ah, yes,” Jongdae leaned back, a Cheshire grin pulling on his lips. “WE have the next Gigi Hadid in the making here.”

“I told you to stop saying that,” Chanyeol chided him from the side. Jongdae’s grin only grew wider.

“The next Heidi Klum.”

“Why are you only saying female models anyways?”

“The next Lee Sungkyung!”

Jongin smiled at the friendly banter, taking another sip from his beer as Chanyeol proceeded to shove Jongdae harder, eliciting a loud laugh.

“I don’t see why not,” Jongin chuckled eventually, motioning vaguely towards Chanyeol. “You’ve got the build, you’ve got the face-“

“Easy now,” Kyungsoo hummed beside him, draping an arm over his shoulder. “Last I checked you were dating me.”

Jongin startled for a second. He might have slipped too much into his usual position again. He winced and Kyungsoo just smiled at his expression, as he leaned down to press their lips together for a quick kiss.

“Get a room,” he heard someone mumbling from the side and the comment made him smile in the kiss. Last time he’d heard that he’d been in high school.

“Anyways,” Jongin said after finally pulling back from Kyungsoo and nodding at Chanyeol. “It should be really fun. I hope I’ll get to see you around VOGUE sometime.”

“Thanks,” the tall guy smiled at him – a surprisingly wide smile for someone with a face that small.

And then it was silent again. Everybody sipping on their drinks awkwardly, until Kyungsoo tapped his shoulder and stood up with a groan. Jongin blinked up at him.

“I’m gonna go to the toilet real quick,” Kyungsoo said and Jongin felt the chills running up his spine. _No. No, no, no. Don’t leave me alone with them_ , he wanted to scream, already choking on the awkward air surrounding their table. Kyungsoo, however – that _traitor_ – smiled at them and started walking away. “I’ll be right back.”

Jongin’s eyes lingered on Kyungsoo’s retreating figure in the small bar. He felt the breath leaving him and his shoulder slumping down in defeat when Kyungsoo disappeared from his sight.

When he turned around, he almost backed up in his chair. Suddenly, the air around them wasn’t awkward, it was tense. For some reason, Jongdae was looking at him with a very threatening glint in his eyes and Chanyeol was leaning over the table, eyebrows raised.

“Listen,” Jongdae started, setting his beer down on the table and raising one eyebrow. “Kyungsoo’s a very quiet guy and whenever something bothers him he’d rather let it bother only him than actually open up. He’s a nice kid, alright.”

Jongin opened his mouth, wanting to say something, without really being sure of what exactly it was yet. Jongdae beat him to it.

“I’ve known him for over ten years, and if I have learned one thing, it’s that his heart is made of gold-“

“-and irony and sarcasm,” Chanyeol chided from the side, earning himself a nudge in the ribs.

“Shut up,” Jongdae frowned, before turning back to him. A kind of tired look in his eyes, tired but deadly. “Be nice to him. It’s what he deserves.”

“I know,” Jongin quickly said. If there was one thing he knew for sure right now it was that – that Kyungsoo deserved everything nice. That he was a _good_ person. His eyes shifted from Jongdae to Chanyeol and then back. Neither of them looked impressed and he almost frowned. He felt a certain tugging at his chest as he looked at Kyungsoo’s friends. They definitely did not seem as muscular and tall, respectively, last time they’d met. Jongin was nervous as his eyes shifted between the two again. What was that? The compulsory best friends intervention? He let out a breath slowly, nodding vaguely. “He’s, uh-….he’s lucky to have friend like you tw-“

“Don’t even try, homeboy.”

Jongin was rendered speechless at the scoff, and that was new. Kim Jongin being left speechless at the sight of two college graduates just staring at him with raised eyebrows and knowing smirks.

He let out a sharp breath. Unbelievable. Kyungsoo really had turned his world upside down.

He watched as those smirks morphed into kind smiles and as Chanyeol and Jongdae both leaned back casually into their chairs, and he whipped his head around just when a hand touched his shoulder.

“You guys alright?” Kyungsoo asked, a suspicious look in his eyes as he stared from Jongdae and Chanyeol towards him. Jongin felt the two other boys also looking towards him, with challenge written all over their faces.

 _Get yourself together_ , he chided himself. _You’re a model. You know how to act._

He tried to smile as best as he could without looking weird, raising his free hand to put over Kyungsoo’s shoulders and bring him towards himself, letting him lean his head against his shoulder.

“Never better.”

* * *

* * *

So yeah, a little something different today, a sort of bonus chapter for you from Jongin's POV~ As it is something like a filler, that is just written to give more insight on Jongin's perspective, it isn't necessarily in the same timeline as the other events. Just a filler ^^

I hope you liked it! Please let me know what you thought and leave me comments~ 

You can talk to me on twitter @jongnugget :)


	16. Chapter 15

15

 

 

Kyungsoo thought there was something odd about the atmosphere in the office when he walked in and Sehun wasn’t already erratically answering emails, or screaming at people on the phone, or going through Jongin’s calendar and fixing schedules. 

When he stepped inside the office, Sehun was just sitting on the chair behind his desk, an empty look in his eyes and a scowl on his lips. He was just staring at the wall, fingers absentmindedly playing with a pen.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo said in the silence of their office. Only then did Sehun snap out of his trance and flashed his eyes towards him. He blinked quickly, then nodded vaguely in a greeting.

It was weird, that Sehun hadn’t yet started showering him with a rain of words and tasks that had to be taken care of during the day. 

He walked forward to the younger and set down one of the coffee cups on the white surface of his desk before turning towards his own. 

“Thanks,” Sehun said behind him and Kyungsoo just vaguely wove his hand, taking his seat and leaning down to turn on the computer. 

The silence fell in the office again, the only sound coming from Sehun’s occasional sips and from the low hum of the computer in front of him. 

Kyungsoo didn’t press it. He knew better than anybody that people just needed their silence sometimes. Or maybe Sehun wasn’t feeling well.

He shot a quick look towards the younger to make sure he wasn’t paler than usual or something. He wasn’t. He was just sipping on his coffee and staring distractedly at the wall and Kyungsoo just pressed his lips and looked away from him and back to the computer.

There were a few emails, but nothing too urgent. He pulled the planner closer to himself, eyes scanning the page. There was going to be a run through later, and a few meetings. It was going to be a relatively busy day, but if nothing unexpected didn’t pop up, then they’d be fine. Maybe they could even leave earlier if some of the meetings didn’t take too much time. 

Kyungsoo was in the middle of reading some interview request, when Sehun’s voice suddenly broke the silence and almost gave him a heart attack.

“Have you told him?”

“What?” Kyungsoo breathed out, finishing the sentence before looking towards Sehun with furrowed eyebrows. The first assistant just straightened up in his Louis Vuitton shirt and gave him a rather unenthusiastic look.

“Jongin. Have you told him about the job offer yet?”

Kyungsoo felt the colour draining from his own face as he looked down to look at his fingers instead – somehow, they were far more interesting now than they had been seconds ago. Much easier to look at than Sehun’s face. 

He breathed in deeply, eyes flashing around the room. The guilt he felt in his chest started pulsating again, coming back alive at the mention of his inner turmoil. 

But there was something else, too. Sehun’s serious face, Sehun’s question out of the blue.

Kyungsoo’s head snapped up, panic stirring in his stomach. 

“Why?” he fired the question. “Did he say something? Does he know?” 

It was the first assistant’s turn to give him a weird look, before lightly shaking his head.

“No. I don’t think he knows.”

Kyungsoo wanted to breathe out in relief, but really, he didn’t feel any better at the sound of that. He just kept prolonging the inevitable. 

“Then why are you asking?” 

“Because I still haven’t told him either,” Sehun sighed out, a shattered breath slipping past his lips. Kyungsoo watched the first assistant raising the coffee to his lips and taking another sip. And then another. He wasn’t really looking at him. “I thought about letting Baekhyun tell him, but that just doesn’t seem right somehow. Besides, it’s not _Baekhyun_ that will have to submit _my_ letter of resignation.”

Sehun seemed tired. Tired and confused and frustrated and Kyungsoo just pursed his lips in compassion. He knew all too well how he felt.

“I just don’t know how to go on about it.”

Kyungsoo sighed out, leaning back in his own chair and just looked at Sehun. He knew how much the job meant to Sehun – the younger had been so excited while telling him about the few pictorials he had already shot, he had been so excited while telling him about the people he had met, the stylists that had done his makeup and hair, the coordinators who had brought him different outfits, the photographers who had worked with him. It meant so much to Sehun.

But he also knew that this job, too, being Jongin’s assistant, meant a lot to him too. Hell, he knew that better than anybody. 

Millions would kill for that job, right? 

He watched as Sehun shot his eyebrows up and took another brave sip of his coffee.

Then he put it down on the desk, a certain edge to his look.

“Tell you what,” Sehun started, sounding like he had a goal. Like he always did when he did his job. “Let’s do it together. Today.” 

Kyungsoo blinked at the younger one. The panic stirred even harder; the guilt started spreading to his fingertips. 

But there was something reassuring about Sehun’s eyes. Something very comforting about the thought that he wouldn’t be alone in this. That he wouldn’t be the only one disappointing Jongin. That he wouldn’t be the only one who had kept secrets.

_ Today _ .

The word scared him.

Because today meant now. It meant from the moment Jongin walked into their office, to the moment he came out of his last meeting. An awfully pressing time frame.

But it was today that he would get it done, he decided, after throwing a look towards Sehun yet again.

Today, he would finally tell Jongin. He would finally let go of all secrets and he would tell him. Despite his guilt, despite his panic. Despite his insecurities and fears, he would tell Jongin today. 

It was about time he finally did. 

His eyes locked with Sehun’s as he nodded.

“Today.”

* * *

Jongin walked into the office in all his glory, black fitted trousers and a beige jacket, with a darker turtleneck under it. His shoes were pointed and black. It was minimalistic, but it was beautiful. The beige suited his golden skin. He looked like he had been dipped in honey, like an absolute dream. 

He was talking on the phone when he walked in, listening intently to whatever the person on the other side of the line was saying. He did, however, slow down to shine a quick smile in Kyungsoo’s direction, before disappearing inside his office.

Kyungsoo hadn’t realized just how tense his shoulders had become until Jongin disappeared under the arch and he let out the breath he had been holding in. His heart was beating hard against his chest, to the point it almost hurt. 

He shot a look towards Sehun. If the first assistant felt the same way as him, he sure did not let anyone in on it. His face was blank, a barely noticeable shift of his eyebrows to indicate that he was concerned. 

It was another ten minutes later when the quiet talking from the office ceased and Jongin appeared at the arched doorway, soft brown hair falling over his eyes. Slender fingers were immediately raised to push it away, as he looked from Kyungsoo to Sehun.

“I just talked to Krystal,” the editor said. “We have received new sponsored items from Fendi’s new line, so I will need one of you two to pick them up before the run through starts.”

“Alright,” Kyungsoo almost squeaked as he pulled the notebook closer and started writing down what Jongin had just said. Pick up Fendi items. 

“We are also doing a segment on less known designers,” Jongin said quite seriously, fixing an invisible crease on his jacket. He looked almost exasperated when he looked up again. “Get in touch with Tao’s people. I will give him one last chance. Tell him to have a sketchbook ready by Friday if he wants to be considered for a feature in the next issue.”

Kyungsoo pursed his lips, writing everything down. He still remembered Tao. The first person in the industry whom he had seen defying Jongin’s advice and the first person who had shown any sort of interest in _him_. The eccentric designer who had so blatantly flirted with him. If Jongin knew about that-

He shook his head quickly, shooing those distracting thoughts out of his mind. 

“What else do we have for today?” Jongin asked and it was Sehun who spoke first.

“The publishers requested a meeting regarding the costs of production. I have all details and documents from Financial they might need here,” Sehun handed Jongin a thick folder with papers and then threw a look towards the clock on the wall. “So you have that in fifteen minutes. Then you have lunch with the associates in 12:30. You need to be back by 3 for the meeting with the other magazines’ editors regarding the Met Gala. And after the meeting, there’s the run through at 5.” 

“Very well,” Jongin said. “Anything else?” 

It was Kyungsoo’s turn to pull up the information from the last emails.

“Invitation to Tommy Hilfiger’s show in Seoul next month?” Kyungsoo looked up to see Jongin contemplating for a few moments.

“I’ll think about it. I might send another editor.”

“Okay. There’s also a VIP invitation to Gucci’s Cruise in Arles, end of the next month again.”

“Yes,” Jongin said without hesitation. “Get back to them and additionally request journalist passes for our teams during the event.”

Kyungsoo hummed, immediately writing it down and adding it on his list with tasks. When he didn’t say anything else, Jongin straightened up and ran his fingers through his hair again.

“Call Minseok and find out when he’s coming back from China. We will be shooting for the next issue next week, so find out if we can get him to work on it. And get Junmyeon to prepare all side articles drafts and bring them to me before the run through.”

Kyungsoo nodded again, adding yet another two bullet points to his growing list of tasks. 

“Jongin?” 

Kyungsoo blinked up when he heard Sehun’s voice. His breath got caught in his throat. 

The same glint of determination was present in Sehun’s eyes again. The same certainness from earlier. He was going for it.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” 

Jongin didn’t seem to think much of Sehun’s request, because he just looked down to his wristwatch, to confirm that he still had some free time, before nodding.

“Yes, of course,” he ended up saying. “Come in.” 

Kyungsoo’s heart was tumbling in his chest at the sight of Jongin turning back and walking inside his office again. Then he flashed a look towards Sehun. Sehun, who stood up from his desk and fixed his shirt.

Kyungsoo could swear he saw his Adam’s apple bobbing. 

When their eyes met for a brief second, Kyungsoo pursed his lips in a smile. _Good_ _luck_ , he mouthed. 

Sehun just blinked, too quickly, before nodding and finally walking through the arched doorway. 

Kyungsoo held his breath when he heard the muffled voices coming from the other room. He couldn’t quite make out the words, he didn’t really want to. 

Yet, he could not let go of that breath he was holding. He put a hand over his racing heart, forcing himself to breathe out slowly. 

Why was he so nervous about Sehun telling Jongin first? 

Was it because he had to do it after that? Because he promised him to do so? Is that why his heart ached so much?

He shook his head again, looking down towards his tasks.

He had work to do. He would worry about speaking to Jongin later. When it was his turn to face him. 

It was about ten minutes later when Kyungsoo heard shoes tapping on the floor and when he finally saw Sehun walking out of Jongin’s office. 

There was this weird mixture of guilt, but also relief present on his face. This weird dazed expression of finally completing something you’d been struggling with.

Jongin walked out after him.

His face was definitely darker than it had been earlier. He looked unhappy, but he did not look angry, so that was good at least. Kim Jongin was good at hiding his thoughts behind an unreadable mask. All Kyungsoo could detect from his face right now, based on that darker look in his eyes, was that he seemed to be somewhat disappointed. But that was about it. 

“I’m going to see the publishers now,” Jongin said, voice duller than before. “Have my driver pick me up from here at 12:15 sharp.” 

And that’s all he said, before he walked out of the room and left them in the complete silence of the office.

Kyungsoo had to blink a couple of times in the direction of the glass door, before remembering the situation. He turned back to Sehun.

“Well?”

“He took it better than I expected,” the first assistant said quietly, a little smile finally starting to dance on his lips. Kyungsoo envied that relaxation that the younger man must have been feeling now. He almost sighed out. At least one of them was calm now. “He even offered to look at the pictures from the pictorials. Might feature them on the next issue if they fit the theme of the magazine.”

Kyungsoo smiled, a certain fondness filling his chest at the sight of that childlike happiness shining in Sehun’s eyes. 

_ I know him better than anybody else _ , he remembered Sehun’s words about Jongin from before. _He doesn’t pay me to be his friend._

Kyungsoo smiled wider at the thought of that. Sure, Sehun seemed cold sometimes and sure, Jongin was such a busy and important person, one wouldn’t have thought that he would actually consider his assistant his friend. Kyungsoo knew, however. He knew it from the way Jongin had joined them first at New Year’s Eve, he knew it from the way Jongin had invited Sehun along to Japan, he knew it from the way he laughed and acted around him – Jongin really did think of Sehun as a friend. He didn’t have to pay him to be one. He just was. 

And Kyungsoo just knew in that moment that yes, Jongin was maybe a little hurt that his friend would not be by his side anymore, but that he ultimately was happy for him. He wanted to support him, to help him follow his dreams – offering him the first of undoubtedly many opportunities to be noticed by the world. 

“That’s great,” Kyungsoo said finally, sincerely smiling at Sehun, who was beaming at this point. 

His heart still was erratically beating in his chest, and he still felt very nervous, but there was also ease calming down the aches in his chest. 

Everything would be alright.

* * *

Kyungsoo saw Baekhyun approaching the glass door from the other side of the long, white corridor, carrying a box with stacked notebooks on top of it. He winced when he saw Baekhyun.

“Wow, don’t you look like Santa Claus.”

Kyungsoo just pursed his lips, getting a tighter hold on all those hangers he was holding. When Jongin had said Fendi had sent some items, he hadn’t clarified that they’d sent their entire goddamn collection. Kyungsoo was barely holding them over his shoulder, only looking forward to barging inside the office and finally putting them on the racks. He really did look like Santa Claus. 

If Santa Claus was carrying a pile of clothes worth thousands of dollars, anyways. 

“What’s that?”

“Fendi,” Kyungsoo barely croaked out. “For the run through.” 

“Oooh,” Baekhyun’s eyes lit up. “Sponsored items. Lovely. We’re getting new clothes, boys.”

Kyungsoo nodded in appreciation when Baekhyun showed mercy on him and his soul and held the door open for him. He stumbled in with the clothes, barely acknowledging Sehun, who was arguing with someone on the phone. 

“-I don’t care if he promised to stay there.” Sehun was practically hissing. “And I don’t care-…no! No, aren’t you listening? I don’t give a fuck that you got a goddamn dog that needs photos. He is coming back to Seoul, whether you like it or not. Let him know that I’ve already booked his tickets.”

Kyungsoo threw a look towards him when the first assistant shut the phone with a loud bang, then rubbed at his eyes. He let out a deep sigh.

“What was that?” 

“I was getting Minseok for next week’s photoshoots.” 

“So naturally, you had to scream.” Baekhyun noted, setting the box on Kyungsoo’s desk. Sehun rolled his eyes.

“Minseok’s with Chinese VOGUE right now. I had to talk to Luhan to figure this out.”

“Oh, well in that case, scream away,” Baekhyun hummed, while Kyungsoo simply pursed his lips. He knew that was a sensitive topic. The red-haired designer leaned on his desk. “Wait. Luhan got a dog?”

Kyungsoo almost laughed at the deadly look that Sehun shot in Baekhyun’s direction. 

The door opened again then, and Kyungsoo looked up when the breeze hit his face. 

Jongin had just walked back in from the meeting. He looked annoyed. He always did after lunch with associates. He’d once said that it was because they always turned even lunch break into work hours. 

The first thing he did when he walked in was to throw a look towards the clock on the wall. 

The second thing he did was look around the room, until his eyes fell on Baekhyun.

“What are you doing here?” 

“The samples from the fabric are ready,” Baekhyun tapped the large box on Kyungsoo’s desk. “Quality control from the boss before I approve them for further production.”

“Right,” Jongin said, voice somewhat strained as he almost groaned. “I completely forgot about that. Give them to my driver when we come back later, he’ll drive them to my apartment, and I’ll check them tonight.” 

“Alright,” Baekhyun nodded, handing the notebooks to Jongin. “And those are some ideas I had about the photoshoot in the Louvre.” 

“Great,” Jongin nodded, hands flying up to undo the buttons of his jacket. “Bring them later at the run through, I’ll take a look at them after that. I need the black Burberry coat.”

Kyungsoo sprung up from his chair and approached the large closet in the corner of the room. 

Absentmindedly, he listened to the editors behind him talking as he searched for the coat Jongin needed.

“So,” Jongin’s voice was somewhat quieter as he spoke up again. “Baekhyun, Sehun told me about Priv é . You can send me those pictures from the photoshoot you had for your line with Sehun, I will look at them too. I told Sehun already, but if they fit we could try featuring them in the next issue.”

“What, really?” Baekhyun’s voice raised up by at least an octave. Kyungsoo couldn’t see his face right now, but he was sure it was twisted in pleasant surprise, judging by his tone. “That would be great!” 

“Yes. Just email them to me.”

“Well now that you finally know,” Baekhyun sounded a little hesitant as he spoke. “I have some adequate interns down in the art department who’d be very interested in the free assistant positions.” 

Kyungsoo almost stumbled forward and fell inside the closet. Position _s_. Plural. 

Baekhyun was speaking about _both_ assistant positions. He felt his breath hitching and his fingers tightening around the fabric of the Burberry coat. He almost wished he’d fall forward. He almost wished the closet would open up and swallow him whole. And maybe send him to Narnia or some shit, because the last place he wanted to be right now was here.

He turned around and saw the funny look in Jongin’s eyes, as his boyfriend eyed the designer. If he thought there was anything weird about what had slipped out of Baekhyun’s mouth, then he didn’t say anything. Instead, he shrugged his beige jacket off his shoulders.

“Yeah, sure. Send them in tomorrow.”

“Great. Thank you!” Baekhyun said in a sing-song voice, unaware of the daggers Kyungsoo was shooting in his direction. He picked up the box with the samples and turned to leave. “Hurry up, the editors from Marie Claire and Ceci are already in the conference room. I’ll meet you there.” 

Jongin nodded quickly and headed towards his office when Baekhyun left, erratically fixing the fabric of his turtleneck sweater. 

Kyungsoo took a deep breath, eyes shooting towards Sehun briefly. The first assistant just smiled at him, the same way Kyungsoo had smiled at him earlier. He felt something inside his chest crashing as he tried to build up the courage to finally let it all out. To finally tell Jongin everything. He wanted to tell him. He needed to. 

The longer he waited, the worse it would get. 

So he just nodded, mostly to himself, before picking up the black coat and walking inside Jongin’s office. 

The other man was leaning over his desk, pulling his phone closer, along with some papers that had been stacked and prepared earlier.

“Jongin?” 

The man turned around at the sound of Kyungsoo speaking up. His eyes flashed down to the coat.

“Ah, yes. Thank you.” 

Kyungsoo walked a little closer, holding the jacket up and waiting for Jongin to slip his arm inside the sleeve, bending his knees lightly to reach Kyungsoo’s height. 

All he could hear was the shuffling of papers and his own heartbeat. Jongin was too busy fixing the cuff of the coat to see him just awkwardly shifting in his place. 

“I want-…” Kyungsoo started quietly, his voice airy. Jongin looked at him then, with raised eyebrows, fingers still erratically working on the cuff in a hurry. “I want to talk to you about something.” 

“Yeah?” Jongin asked, sounding a little tired, as he pulled on the sleeve to look at his wrist and the expensive watch. A crease formed itself between his eyebrows when he furrowed them and pursed his lips. He looked at Kyungsoo, seemingly apologetic. “Can it wait until after the meeting? I’m afraid I’m already running late.”  

Kyungsoo pursed his lips, heart drumming in his chest and sending waves throughout his entire body. He couldn’t have this discussion with Jongin in the one minute he had to spare before rushing off to another meeting. One minute would not be long enough for him to muster up the courage to speak about it all. 

He nodded and Jongin looked up from his coat finally. Before Kyungsoo even knew it, Jongin had leaned down, a hand on one side of his face to pull him closer. He pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, a soft look in his eyes, as he smiled again.

“I’ll talk to you later.” 

Kyungsoo let out a breath when Jongin walked out of the office, the black Burberry coat majestically flowing behind him as he headed for yet another meeting, giving Kyungsoo another hour to gather his thoughts and rehearse his monologue again and again. 

* * *

The office was louder now that it had been all day – there were editors and designers walking around, carrying racks of clothes, preparing Jongin’s office for the run through. Boxes were being carried in, photos were being discussed. Kyungsoo was helping Krystal set up the pre-approved accessories on Jongin’s massive desk. 

Seulgi was chilling on the side with Sehun, hair pulled up in a high ponytail as she waited for Jongin to arrive so she’d stand up on the little podium and wait for the designers start playing dress up with her. Junmyeon was talking on the phone with some of the journalists of VOGUE, asking about the audios from some interview with actors. 

There were a lot of things happening around him, but all Kyungsoo could think about were those waves of nervousness hitting him every now and then, as the time he would have to talk to Jongin approached. 

He was just about to pick up yet another box with accessories from his desk and bring it back to Krystal, when the glass door was pushed open and in stormed Jongin. 

He was holding on to his black coat, that he almost threw on Sehun’s desk, a finger hooked under the turtleneck, pulling at it around the neck. His lips were pressed in a scowl, and his eyebrows were furrowed. 

And Kyungsoo just froze. 

Because there was something in Jongin’s eyes that gave him chills, something scary. He was fuming.

And the worst part? That deadly look was directed towards him. 

_ He knew _ .

He didn’t even have to speak. Kyungsoo already knew. There was no other reason for him to look at him this way.

Jongin had found out.

“Kyungsoo, in my office. Now.” Jongin’s voice was low and dangerous and Kyungsoo felt something crushing his chest. “Everybody else, get out.”

“What?” Krystal said, quite distractedly, as she pulled on the box on Kyungsoo’s desk. 

But Jongin wasn’t messing around. He shot a glare in her direction. Everybody seemed to freeze. The room fell silent, nobody dared speak.

“Out. _Now_.”

Kyungsoo’s breath hitched and he felt his mouth going dry at the way the editors shared confused looks, before walking out of the office. Seulgi followed them, a curious glint in her eyes as she flashed a look at Kyungsoo. 

Sehun lingered a few moments, something akin to shock written on his face – surprise. He blinked from Jongin towards Kyungsoo, his eyes softening. He looked almost regretful and apologetic, when he started walking after the rest of the team, out of the room.

Kyungsoo didn’t even realize he was shaking until he was left alone in the office. Didn’t even realize how he wasn’t breathing until he walked on unstable feet towards the arched doorway and into Jongin’s office. 

The editor was standing by the window, quietly, and he was just staring at him as he walked in and stopped between the racks of clothes. There was an unreadable expression on his face.

That goddamn unreadable expression, that Kyungsoo hated so much. 

He just stared at him, very much aware of that hard look in Jongin’s eyes. That judging look that he had seen so many times when his boss was not happy. That authoritative look, filled with power. The look meant to scare people, the look meant to intimidate them.

And it worked. 

Kyungsoo had never felt smaller than he did now. He opened his mouth, unsure of what he wanted to say. Unsure of where to start.

Jongin, however, beat him to it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Kyungsoo felt like someone had kicked him in the chest at the sound of Jongin’s strained, barely collected voice. He looked away, towards his feet. 

So he really knew now.  

All those practiced monologues, all those practiced sentences and excuses evaporated from his mind. Kyungsoo’s fingers curled into fists, as he just stared at the ground, unable to gather his voice to speak. 

“Why did I have to find out from Son Wendy that she offered you, _my boyfriend_ , a job?” 

Kyungsoo didn’t dare look up. He just shot his eyes closed. He could hear that anger that had been so blatantly visible in Jongin’s eyes creeping into his voice too, sneaking in and making his words sting. 

“I was the only clueless one in that meeting,” Jongin continued, voice unforgiving, tone ice cold and letting him in more and more on the extent of his anger with every word. Kyungsoo bit on his lower lip, his heart aching. He heard a sharp intake of breath and he heard Jongin striding through the room. “You made me look like a _fool_.”

Kyungsoo opened his mouth again, but his voice got caught in his throat again. He couldn’t bring himself to speak. Everything he could say would sound so pathetic now. So childish. So goddamn stupid.

He shut his eyes closed again. He knew it. He should have told Jongin earlier. He should have told him the moment he received that email.

He startled at the sound of Jongin pushing one of the racks with all those designer clothes. At the clattering sound of the metal hitting the tiled floor. Kyungsoo’s eyes shot down at the mess of clothes on the floor, pupils shaking. 

“God damn it, _LOOK AT ME_ ,” Jongin said, almost screamed really, the anger finally fully detectable in his voice. And Kyungsoo was too afraid to look up. Too guilty. Too sorry. But there was nowhere to go, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. It was just him and Jongin in the empty office, surrounded by the truth. 

He blinked up hesitantly. Jongin, for the first time ever since he had met him, looked messy. His hair was sticking out from all those times he had run his fingers through it in frustration. There was a wild look in his eyes, and his lips were pulled back in a grimace. Kyungsoo could tell he was angry. He could tell he was hurt.

He was shaking when Jongin raised a hand to run through his hair again, pulling at his own hair.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I-“ Kyungsoo voice sounded broken before he had even started speaking. He breathed in deeply, shaking his head, hands flailing around him uselessly. “I _wanted_ to tell you.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I was going to tell you today,” Kyungsoo said quickly, refusing to let those sobs come out in his words. Refusing to let himself break. “I was going to tell you before you went downstairs, but-“ 

“But what?” Jongin said, voice chilly and sharp. Kyungsoo startled again when he saw the fire in his eyes, the fury. “I was too busy? _Excuses_.” 

Kyungsoo pressed his lips, feeling the pangs in his chest. Too deeply, too strongly. It _hurt_. 

“You have known for _three weeks_.” Jongin almost hissed, leaning over the desk with that mad look in his eyes. “Three weeks and you never mentioned it. Not once.” 

“I-“

“Not even when I asked you what was wrong. Not even when I knew you were hiding something. That you _all_ were hiding something.” Jongin turned back and buried his face in his palms. Kyungsoo’s breath was shaky when he saw the other man rubbing at his face in frustration, before pushing the hair back again.

Kyungsoo startled again when Jongin kicked at those scattered clothes on the floor, pacing around the office aimlessly. 

He really did look like a mess. Kyungsoo couldn’t decide if he was too angry to look at him, or if he was going to lash out even more. 

And all that mess – that beautiful mess that Kim Jongin had become in front of him – it was his fault. Because he hadn’t shared earlier. Because he had found out from someone else. 

Because he had found out that Kyungsoo was lying to him. Keeping secrets from him.

Kyungsoo wanted to cry. He had known that it would all go to hell.

He had ruined everything.

“You can’t do this to me,” Jongin said eventually, after a little while. His eyes were red, his lips were parted. He was breathing heavily, unable to conceal the hurt that spread on his entire face. The hurt that weighed down on him and made his shoulders slump. Kim Jongin was a _wreck_ in front of him and it was all his fault. He repeated, quietly: “You can’t do this to me.” 

Kyungsoo pursed his lips, eyes wavering.

“I can’t-…” Jongin closed his eyes for a moment, as if trying to collect his own thoughts, before opening them again and finally dropping his hands down from his hair. “I can’t lose both of you in one day. I can’t lose you.”

Kyungsoo felt a pang in his chest at how broken Jongin looked suddenly. At the wounded and dull look in his eyes. At the way he seemed so defeated, so tired and _alone_. 

“You can’t leave me,” he said, voice quiet, as he shook his head once, his bangs falling over his eyes. He shook his head again then, plush lips pursing together. “Please don’t leave me.” 

Kyungsoo lost the ability to speak again. All thoughts were clouding his mind, but above all – seeing Jongin so vulnerable and so hurt, all because of him. It was messing him up. Messing him up so hard that he was unable to think about anything but the fact that he absolutely hated himself right now. 

He blinked when he sensed Jongin shifting – raising a hand to cover his mouth and nose, looking at him with all that hurt, anger, agony and betrayal filling his eyes. Kyungsoo didn’t think he’d ever seen someone in so much pain. 

He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but Jongin just shook his head briefly. He walked past him, their shoulders bumping and sending Kyungsoo stumbling back a few steps. 

Kyungsoo blinked, tears brimming his vision, and he watched, unable to move or do anything.

He was left standing there alone, shaking, when Jongin reached out to grab his coat and stormed out of the big, white office, the glass door closing behind him.  

 

 

[twitter](https://twitter.com/jongnugget)


	17. Chapter 16

16

 

 

Every time Kyungsoo had unlocked his phone and seen the blue check under his countless messages, he had felt a pang in his chest. Jongin had read his texts, yet he wasn’t replying. He wasn’t answering to any of his calls. 

As the hours of the night had rolled by, he had stopped reading the messages too, the grey check haunting him and messing with his mind. 

He hadn’t been able to catch a blink of sleep that night. He hadn’t known what to feel – there was something more than just guilt and regret. Something more. Something rooting deeper and harshly hurting him from the inside. 

Disappointment.

Taking over his entire body, devouring him, torturing him, until there was nothing left to destroy.

And then the morning came, and he felt numb. He felt empty. 

Kyungsoo was afraid to leave his home and go to work. He was afraid that he would have to face Jongin after what had happened. All the words he had to say, all apologies, all excuses – he had written in those text messages that had remained unanswered. And he didn’t know what else to do. What else to say. 

But when the harsh alarm resounded through his room, he slowly stood up from the bed.

He had made the mistake of avoiding things once. And look where it had led him to. He was even more afraid to stay here.  

He was tired, his face was puffy from crying, his eyes were probably still red and lifeless, his hair was not brushed, and he was wearing some old jeans and the first shirt he had seen hanging from the handle of his couch. 

Sehun surely had a lot to say when he saw him entering the office like that – a complete mess. But instead of speaking, Sehun just pursed his lips and remained silent. Kyungsoo looked away from that pitying look in the first assistant’s eyes. When the younger asked him if he wanted to talk about it, Kyungsoo just shook his head soundlessly. He did not need this now. He didn’t need any of this. 

The work he had learned to complete quickly seemed torturous today. He had to read the emails at least twice, his eyes glazing over the words. He was redirecting the phone calls to Sehun. He didn’t trust his voice today. He didn’t trust himself to speak and ruin even more things. 

And as the sun rose higher in the sky, Kyungsoo’s shoulders kept slumping even more. He was shooting anxious looks towards the door of the office, waiting for the storm to come. 

But it never did. 

Jongin didn’t show up at work that day. 

Nor the day after. 

And the day after. 

He didn’t show up to his scheduled interview with Bazaar and he hadn’t let anyone know.

The string of unread texts and unanswered calls kept growing and Kyungsoo’s heart kept shrinking more and more with every passing minute. 

This silence – this deafening silence – hurt even more than the shouting. 

And along that hurt and regret, along the disappointment and guilt, something else was starting to awaken. 

Worry. 

He was worried. Because he had no idea where Jongin was or how he was doing. He hadn’t heart from him ever since that dreadful day.

More often than once Kyungsoo kept wishing he could turn back the time and do everything properly. He should have told Jongin the moment he had found out. If he had maybe they wouldn’t have been here now. 

“We need to finish some last things for the party tomorrow.” Sehun said, voice strained, as the arrow on the clock slipped past 7. The sun had set, and Kyungsoo’s fingers kept tightening around his phone, waiting for something. Anything. 

Right. The party. There was supposed to be a conference tomorrow. A meeting of VOGUE and some little magazine that they were buying. An acquisition. They were supposed to sign the papers tomorrow, and then they were supposed to celebrate at the rooftop of the building. 

“Why bother?” he asked, voice still hoarse. “He probably won’t even show up.” 

“He has to.” Sehun said, with as much conviction as he could. Kyungsoo looked up. Sehun might have sounded sure, but his eyes weren’t. They were shooting around the room, as he let out a breath, and returned to furiously typing something. 

* * *

Kyungsoo wished Baekhyun would just choke him at this point. That he would pull harder on that tie he had insisted on putting on him and just end it all. 

“I get that you’re not in the best condition right now,” the editor had said when showing up with a comb in one hand and a tie in the other. “But we still have work to do and I can’t have you looking like someone who came straight out of The Walking Dead.”

Kyungsoo had just breathed out when Baekhyun forced him in a blazer and fixed his hair, before finally giving an approving hum and putting a hand on his shoulder. There was something especially bright in his eyes, a sort of brightness that gave Kyungsoo hope.

Hope that he so desperately needed right now.

“You can’t keep moping around forever, Soo. Nothing will change if you just sit here and destroy yourself.” 

“I didn’t just sit here,” Kyungsoo whispered, pushing his phone on the desk. Baekhyun’s eyes shot down to the black screen. “I must have sent a thousand texts. No reply. Nothing.”

Baekhyun remained silent then, that flicker of hope in his eyes wavering. Kyungsoo tried not to look as crushed as he felt.

The redhead dug his fingers into his shoulder then, holding him until Kyungsoo blinked up again to see Baekhyun giving him a lopsided smile.

“He’ll come around.” 

Kyungsoo just pursed his lips. 

He wasn’t so sure about that. Not anymore. 

* * *

Kyungsoo was helping Krystal carry in some boxes with samples and sponsored items, when the door of the office opened behind them. He almost dropped the box. 

Because Jongin was standing there, looking absolutely marvellous. 

He was standing tall, perfect posture with perfect poise. The coat was falling straight down and his turtleneck shirt was hugging his body tightly. 

He didn’t look like a person who had broken down just a few days before. He didn’t look like a person who in any way had been hurt. He didn’t look like a wreck. He didn’t look like Kyungsoo.

Well composed and collected, level-headed and strong. 

He looked perfect. As always.

At first glance, at least. When Kyungsoo blinked the curtains of initial shock away, and actually _looked_ , Jongin did seem tired. More so than usual. The dark circles under his eyes weren’t prominent, but they sure were there. His lips were curved down in the faintest of frowns.

And his eyes were blank. There was an empty look on his face.

No hint of that warmth or kindness that Kyungsoo had gotten so used to in the past few months. No hint of that little smile that reached his eyes whenever he saw Kyungsoo in the morning.

No. There was nothing when their eyes met now. 

Just a fleeting, cold look, before Jongin looked away from him and entered his office instead. 

Kyungsoo felt like someone had pierced him straight in the gut. 

He had thought he would be ready for this moment. He had been dreading it, sure, but he had been anticipating it as well. He had been waiting for it, hoping that something would change, that things would get better when they met again.

But this? 

This he was not ready for. For that nothingness, that apathy. 

His hands were shaking when he quickly put the box down on the desk, fingers flying up to cover his mouth. 

He almost ran out of the office, not stopping to turn around when Krystal called out his name, not acknowledging Sehun reaching out towards him. 

He just wanted to escape. 

* * *

But he could run, he could run for hours, for days. And he still couldn’t escape. Because life was cruel and he just had to put up with it. 

He had to put on a brave face and smile until he could be by himself again. Until he could be alone again. Only then could he let go of that brave façade. Only then could he completely break down. 

But not now. Now, he had caterers to deal with, and he had guests to attend to. He had to make sure everybody was having a good time celebrating the acquisition of that small company. He had to make sure everybody was showering in the joy of VOGUE gaining even more power. Of Jongin becoming even more powerful, more influential, ruler to more and more. 

Kyungsoo felt like throwing up for the most part of the evening.  

It was hard. It was hard to stand there and watch Jongin in the near distance, surrounded by business partners and designers. It was hard to just watch Jongin smiling and doing his job, acting like nothing ever affected him. Acting like nothing but this stupid merge mattered. 

“Kyungsoo, can you please escort the representatives from VOGUE Japan to their car? The driver’s waiting for them downstairs cause they have to catch their flight.” 

Sehun appeared out of nowhere and Kyungsoo had to force his eyes away from Jongin and towards the first assistant, who had a hand tightly wrapped around a planner and a strained smile on his lips, as he guided an old man and a tiny woman towards him. Both were smiling at him cluelessly, obviously not understanding a lick of Korean. 

“Of course,” Kyungsoo muttered, raising a hand towards the exit and trying his best to smile at the partners. Sehun disappeared again, then, his voice sharp and clear as he picked up the phone to hiss at someone for the lack of finger sandwiches. 

Kyungsoo led the Japanese forward to the elevators, trying to completely ignore that hard gaze he felt in the back of his head when they passed by the editor-in-chief of VOGUE Korea and all those business partners he was talking to. 

His fingers curled into fists, his eyes glassing again as he slammed the button of the elevator. 

* * *

He was grateful that Sehun kept sending him downstairs to accompany their guests to the cars as they left. He was grateful that Sehun had taken it upon himself to add one more thing to his list of tasks – not letting Kyungsoo go crazy. He really was grateful that Sehun kept finding things for him to do just to keep him away from the hall and from watching Jongin. 

If he hadn’t, Kyungsoo would have lost it a thousand times by now. 

But as the night got darker, the people in the hall became less. 

As the night got darker, and the music of the live band playing became slower, the group of people surrounding Jongin thinned out. 

Kyungsoo’s eyes were trained on the back of the editor who was sitting on the bar now, with a man who just tapped his shoulder before jumping off the chair and walking away. And then he was alone. 

For the first time this day, he was alone, and Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes. 

He didn’t know what it was that he felt drumming in his chest – was it determination? Was it fear? Was it uncertainty? 

Maybe it was all those things coming together to drag him back. But Kyungsoo just set his jaw, digging his nails into his palms again and breathing in deeply.

He did not know how he mustered up the courage to move, but he did. Somehow. 

The first step was the hardest to take, his feet frozen and refusing to comply.

But after that first step, he moved easier. He moved faster. With a purpose. With a goal. 

He did not know how he mustered up the courage to move, but when he finally walked up to the bar, when he finally reached it and sat on that now empty chair next to Jongin, it didn’t really matter. Because he was here now.

He was here. 

And what?

So what? 

Jongin wasn’t looking up, he wasn’t even acknowledging the fact that Kyungsoo was sitting next to him, staring at him and waiting for something. For anything, really. 

Kyungsoo felt his throat constricting again, but he refused to let himself suffer again. He was not going to be the weak one. He couldn’t stand being weak. 

“You never replied to my messages,” he said, hearing his own voice and how strangely calm it sounded. 

Jongin still didn’t look at him, but a breath left him, sharp and sudden and Kyungsoo pursed his lips. At least he was listening to him. 

“I had nothing to say,” the editor said eventually, voice just as calm and collected and neutral as Kyungsoo’s. “Those things aren’t discussed over the phone.” 

“Then you shouldn’t have stormed out of your office the other day.” 

Jongin did look at him then. He raised his head and almost tore him apart with the sharpest gaze Kyungsoo had ever seen on the other man’s face. There was concealed fury in those brown eyes, a black hole in his irises, taking in everything and letting nothing out. It was a completely destructive look, yet Kyungsoo did not budge.

“What do you want?” Jongin’s question was simple. It was quick and it was clear, and Kyungsoo felt himself crippling on the inside. He was crying and screaming, kicking and punching, but he refused to let any of that show. Now was not the time to let any of that show. 

And what did Kyungsoo want? What did he really want? He wasn’t too sure anymore. 

“I want to talk.” 

Jongin seemed like he was on the verge of arguing. Again. He looked like he would just stand up and walk away. For a brief moment, Kyungsoo thought he really would leave again. 

But he didn’t. He just straightened up on his chair and gave him another destructive gaze, that black hole in his eyes consuming Kyungsoo’s soul bit by bit. 

“Then talk.” 

Kyungsoo took his time searching for the right words. He took his time thinking about it. He was afraid that Jongin would eventually grow tired of waiting for him to speak, but he didn’t. He just kept looking at him. And he waited. 

“Champagne, sir?” 

Kyungsoo blinked at the sudden voice. He shook his head dismissively at the server passing by them and watched as he turned towards Jongin then. The tray in his hand was filled with tall champagne glasses, the sparkling rosy liquid inside looking like all those bright stars and universes that were now lost in Jongin’s eyes. Lost in that unforgiving blackness. 

“No,” the editor-in-chief said, not even sparing the server a look. “Champagne is for celebrations. I want a martini.”

Kyungsoo’s fingers curled into a fist on the marble surface of the bar as he watched the server hurrying away with a very confused expression on his face. They were, after all, attending this party because they were celebrating. Or at least, they were supposed to be. 

It was kind of ironic, Kyungsoo supposed, as he watched the server quickly approaching them again, a triangle glass in his hands that he carefully put on the bar next to Jongin. 

He sure took his time trying to think of something to say. Because now he finally had the chance to speak to Jongin, and his mind was pulling a blank. What was there to be said? 

When Jongin reached out towards his martini, something in Kyungsoo woke up. Something reminded him that this evening was not endless. That even the long wait would come to an end. 

He reached out, pulling out the skewer with olives from Jongin’s martini. 

“You were happy for Sehun,” he said as Jongin followed his hand with his eyes, an unreadable expression on his face. That unreadable expression that Kyungsoo hated so goddamn much. He raised the olives to his lips, teeth locking around the first one and pulling it off the skewer. It tasted bitter on his tongue, with the strong traces of gin and light kisses of vermouth. He looked up to Jongin then, the look in the other man’s eyes darker. “Why could you not be happy for me too?”

“Because I knew Sehun wanted this.” Jongin said simply, picking up the glass from the bar and swirling the liquid inside. “From the moment he started working for me, he wanted this. He always has. I knew from the very beginning that I would eventually lose him someday, and I was ready for it. But you?”

Kyungsoo breathed in deeply when Jongin tipped the glass back at his lips, taking a sip from his dry martini and giving him yet another calculated gaze.

“You were an ambitious and smart journalist graduate, with a high GPA and a lot of things to say. Not an ounce of knowledge or interest in fashion. I thought you wanted to be a writer. I thought you would only be here for one year, until you could start working somewhere you actually wanted to work as a writer. Only one year.” Jongin’s fingers tightened around the stool of the cocktail glass. “ _At least_ one year.” 

Kyungsoo almost scoffed. He looked away from Jongin and shook his head lightly, pulling the second olive off the skewer. 

“What if I changed my mind?”

“Did you?” 

Kyungsoo felt his face hardening then. He looked at Jongin and the way the editor was just staring at him with those sharp and dangerous eyes. 

He felt those stirrings inside him swirling like a tornado, anger and irritation surfacing to the top. 

“You are being childish,” he said, and that dangerous look in Jongin’s eyes became even darker. “I am not a doll you can just keep locked up in your dollhouse. I am your boyfriend and you-…you should have supported me. You should have been there for me just like I was always there for you. No matter what. That’s what boyfriends do.” 

“Yes,” Jongin agreed quite calmly. “Boyfriends also do not keep secrets from one another.”

“You’re right. I should have told you. That was the one mistake I made, not telling you. But it is my life, and ultimately, it is my decision to make.” Kyungsoo said, dropping the empty skewer on the bar. He stood up form the chair and took note of the sharp look in Jongin’s eyes as he followed his movements. “Not the entire world revolves around you.”  

His chest was starting to hurt from the breath he was still holding, as he turned around and started walking away. 

His eyes fluttered closed, however, when he heard the distinct sound of metal scratching against the floor. He heard Jongin pushing his chair back and slamming down the cocktail glass on the counter with a loud clink. No escape.

“Do you not understand?” Jongin’s voice was too close, close enough for Kyungsoo to feel shivers running up his spine as he kept walking away towards the elevators, the editor’s body brushing against his every now and then because of how closely he was following him. “Everybody around me, every fucking person in this building, every person at this party, everyone I know in this goddamn industry – they are nice to me, because they have to be. They try to get closer to me, because they want more opportunities. They aren’t nice because they can be, they’re nice because they have to be. Because they use me in order to gain something.”

Kyungsoo set his jaw as he entered the elevator and slammed the button for the office. He was going to get his stuff and leave. He’d apologize to Sehun later. 

Jongin, however, followed suit, a very angry expression on his face as the elevator doors slid closed. 

“ _Everyone_ in my life is fake, except for those few people I let in. Sehun, Baekhyun. You. And when I heard about that job offer…when I heard about you…what was I supposed to think?” Jongin asked, trying to keep his voice calm but now that there aren’t people around them Kyungsoo noticed the wavering of his pupils and the strained tone. “Do you not understand how much it hurt to think that all those months we spent together were all just leading up to a bitter goodbye? That you might have not been as different as I thought you were?” 

_ Ouch _ . 

Kyungsoo felt like something had just pierced his heart.

He couldn’t control his expression; he couldn’t stop that disappointment from showing on his face. The sorrow tasted bitter on his tongue. 

He breathed out shakily when the doors of the elevator opened to the long, white halls of VOGUE. 

“If that’s what you really think, then I don’t have anything else to say.” 

He stormed out of the elevator, rushing down the empty and dark hallway, trying to ignore the fact that he could still hear those footsteps right behind his own. He was so hurt and so angry. 

“I never thought that,” Jongin’s voice was piercing and his sudden grip on Kyungsoo’s wrist, stopping him from walking away, was strong. Kyungsoo looked up to see Jongin’s eyes – wider then ever, filled with honesty and raw emotion. “I was afraid of it, but I never thought it. Not even for one second.”

Kyungsoo pursed his lips, trying to not let that stinging feeling in his eyes evolve. He was not going to cry. He was not going to cry again, damn it. 

“You just did,” he pulled his hand out of Jongin’s grasp. “Is this it, then? Are we done?” 

“No, we are not fucking done,” Jongin hissed, following after him into the office. Kyungsoo flinched when he heard Jongin slamming his hands down his desk and leaning over it to watch him as he hastily started throwing his things inside his bag. “I still want to know why I had to find out about that fucking job offer from _Wendy_ and not from you.”

“I didn’t mean the conversation,” Kyungsoo turned to look at him, that numbness taking over his body again. “I meant us.”

He had the utmost pleasure to see a mirror of his own inner turmoil flashing through Jongin’s face for one mere moment, fleeting like the wind. A look of utter desolation. But just like the wind, it passed, and got replaced by something fiercer. Something darker.

Jongin’s eyes narrowed as he made exactly two steps to round the desk and grab Kyungsoo by his elbow without a trace of finesse. He held his arm so tight that Kyungsoo’s eyebrows knitted together at the sudden pressure. So tight that he dropped the bag he was holding. It collided with the floor, the loud clatter filling the empty and silent office. 

“Does it _look_ like we’re fucking done?” 

Kyungsoo saw it coming even before he felt Jongin’s free hand wrapping around his shoulder. 

He saw it coming even before he was pushed back against the wall. 

No grace. No consideration. 

Just his body being harshly pushed against the wall, a little wince escaping his lips at the collision. 

A little whine that got drowned out by Jongin’s lips abruptly crashing against his. 

Kyungsoo’s arms flailed around in surprise for a moment, before his hands found their way to Jongin’s chest. He didn’t know what to do. 

Jongin was kissing him roughly and he wanted to push him away. He wanted to hit him. To kick him and punch him and scream at him. He wanted to hurt him, he wanted to get back at him for all the times _he_ had been hurt. 

But when their lips collided yet again, with too much force and too little thought, all he could do was slide his hands up Jongin’s chest and neck and wrap his fingers tightly around his hair. Jongin hissed in the kiss, the pull on his hair probably painful. Good, Kyungsoo thought, as he harshly pulled him forward. 

It was almost too painful kissing Jongin right now – teeth were scratching and tugging on their lips, tongues were leaving no room for air. Their lips, however, stayed connected, even when Jongin got hold of his blazer’s lapels, yanking him off the wall and dragging him forward. Kyungsoo’s fingers were still harshly tugging on the editor’s hair. 

Kyungsoo realized in his haze where they were heading. He must have walked through that arched doorway to Jongin’s office a thousand times. The other man’s fingers moved from the lapels then. One hand grabbed his tie and Kyungsoo gasped in the kiss when it did tighten around his neck abruptly. The other hand moved to push the blazer off Kyungsoo’s shoulders until it was sent flying to the ground, disregarded, crumpled and completely forgotten.  

The back of Kyungsoo’s thighs bumped into the edge of Jongin’s desk then and the editor broke the kiss. He peered down at Kyungsoo with that dark look in his eyes, before he hooked a hand under his knees and yanked him up until he was sitting on the desk.

It was hard for Kyungsoo to catch his breath, especially when Jongin’s fingers slid down the side of his face. 

The touch was gentle, just like every other touch he had gotten to know so far. It was familiar and it was warm.

But then those fingers reached his chest and the breath left Kyungsoo’s lungs when he was suddenly pushed back on the surface of the desk. Papers scattered around him, and he was pretty sure he had just crumpled some documents, but he didn’t care. 

He couldn’t care. Not when Jongin’s fingers expertly started undoing the buttons on his shirt. He didn’t bother to get rid of the whole thing. Just a few buttons to reveal enough skin for Jongin to dive down and suck on. To bite, to abuse, to claim his. 

Kyungsoo curled his fingers back in the other’s hair, back arching off the table when a tongue swirled around his nipple, followed by teeth scraping against his flesh. He vaguely felt Jongin’s fingers fumbling with the button of his slacks, an impatient rush to his movements. 

Kyungsoo’s lips were dry because of his heavy breaths by the time Jongin pulled his jeans down, the cold air against his heated skin making him shiver. He was trying to catch his breath and collect his thoughts when Jongin peered down at him again, the dark look in his eyes finally starting to take shape of something Kyungsoo was familiar with – lust. Want. 

Those gentle fingers travelled up his body again, over his abused chest and neck, over his jawline, over his lips. Kyungsoo’s breath hitched when Jongin’s fingers traced his lips. 

“ _Suck_.”

Kyungsoo shot his eyes towards Jongin and that hungry look on his face.

He wrapped his lips around the fingers and just watched as Jongin’s eyes became even darker, even hungrier. Needier. 

Kyungsoo heaved yet another shaky breath when the fingers were pulled out of his mouth with a loud pop. He felt an earthquake in his body when Jongin yanked one of his legs up, the jeans sliding past his shoe and hanging from his ankle. 

Kyungsoo shut his eyes when Jongin inserted two fingers into him at once, without fussing. It definitely stung without proper lubrication, but Kyungsoo let that pain spread through his veins and turn into messed up pleasure. Until he eventually started fucking himself back on Jongin’s fingers, until he eventually reached up to get hold of the front of Jongin’s ridiculously expensive shirt. 

He did not care when he pulled at the fabric.

He did not care when buttons went flying around the room. 

All he cared about was having something to hold on to for dear life as Jongin kept fingering him. 

It was one of the best feelings in the world, letting the other toy around with him despite everything. Feeling vulnerable in his hands, dependable. Filthy and used, dominated. But it was okay. It was worth it, if it meant he could see those quick looks Jongin flashed at him – eyes filled with calculated worry and concern, with assertiveness. It was worth it if he got to see that Jongin still cared. 

Kyungsoo almost whined out in protest when those fingers slipped out of him and Jongin fumbled with his belt. Jongin reached out to grab the end of his tie then, and he pulled on it. Kyungsoo’s breath hitched again and he peeled himself off the desk, sitting up with his shirt hanging off his shoulders and his jeans swinging off his ankles. 

Jongin’s eyes were on him and his breath felt hot on his skin when he breathed. 

“Turn around,” the man said and Kyungsoo’s eyes flashed down that toned, golden chest, down to that hand that had just opened the belt and was working on pushing the dress pants down. He could see the strain at the front of Jongin’s trousers, he could see the tent forming and it felt damn good to know that despite everything, he still wanted him. As much as before. Maybe even more. 

Maybe people really did start cherishing the things they had when they were about to lose them. 

Jongin pushed him back on the desk then, pressing his chest against the papers and bending him down until Kyungsoo could see nothing but his own hair falling in his eyes and a blur of movement behind him. Until he could feel nothing but Jongin’s palm spread on his back to keep him pressed against the desk. Nothing but those fingers travelling down his spine when they made sure he had no intention to move. 

Jongin’s fingers spread his butt cheeks. And he exposed him again, he took control of everything yet again. 

Jongin pushed into him then, the sting almost unbearable. _Almost_. He did not stop until he was fully sheathed inside him and Kyungsoo’s eyes shut closed, his fingers curling into fists, crumpling the papers underneath them. He pressed his forehead against the cold surface of the desk, trying to gather himself, to get used to the feeling of the stretch, of that painfully sweet contact. 

Jongin had always been gentle with him, always had kept up with his pace. Inside and outside the bedroom. He had always been considerate and loving. Caring and sweet.

Not now, though. Jongin wasn’t going to be gentle now, Kyungsoo realized when the other man moved before he expected him to – pulling back and then slamming back inside him and sending him riding up on the desk with a yelp and a loud moan lacing together. Maybe he wasn’t going to be gentle. Maybe he was going to snap, and maybe Kyungsoo liked that too. 

Maybe he needed it. Maybe they both did. 

To get it out of their systems, to let that anger diffuse in those breathy moans and low curses that spilled from their lips when Jongin pounded into him relentlessly, his thrusts erratic and free of that control that he always exerted on anything and everything around himself.

And Kyungsoo loved this. He loved the feeling of the other man’s body slapping against him, he loved the feeling of that fullness and weight inside him, he loved the feeling of having Jongin manhandle him like this. It was definitely a new side to him – a side he had never seen before.

It was entirely unfair, that Jongin got to see all of him but he only got to see those scattered papers. He wanted to turn around, he wanted to look at that needy look in Jongin’s eyes, he wanted to touch him. 

But all he could do was press his body back, all he could do was meet those erratic thrusts. He wiggled in his place, still pinned to the desk, and that’s when he finally keened. When his back arched and a jolt of pleasure sent tremors through his entire body. 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Kyungsoo cursed when he felt fingers wrapping in his hair and pulling. Jongin was pulling him back, making his back arch even more as he kept fucking him straight in that one spot that made his vision go white. 

His body was starting to go limp, he could feel it. All that pleasure building up and Jongin pulling him up even higher until he wrapped his hands around his hips, pressing his back to his own chest. He kept fucking into him relentlessly, and Kyungsoo’s eyes fluttered at all those sensations coming together.

“I want you to come,” Jongin said, voice hoarse and low in his ear as he pressed his lips to his neck. The little kiss sent a fluttering feeling throughout Kyungsoo’s body, a tickling sensation all over his skin. And then there was a harsh bite, masked by yet another soft and gentle kiss. “I want you to come just from me fucking you.” 

Kyungsoo let out another moan as he threw his hands up and wrapped them around Jongin’s neck, keeping him close as their bodies kept moving together. As the thrusts became even more erratic, losing their rhythm. As the white completely filled Kyungsoo’s vision as the sensation of Jongin abusing his neck and the blunt tip of his cock pressing against his prostrate with every thrust. 

And then there was an explosion of colours behind his eyelids and had it not been for Jongin’s hand keeping him straight he would have crumbled down. He came with a loud moan all over those papers on Jongin’s desk, clenching around Jongin who was still drilling into him from behind, riding him out through his orgasm. 

Riding him out until Jongin felt the man behind him stiffing and his eyelids fluttered yet again at the sensation of being filled with the other’s cum. 

Kyungsoo almost expected Jongin to let go of him then, but he didn’t. They just stood like this for a few more moments, bodies still connected, chests heaving together. Panting. Looking for air. Craving air. 

And then Jongin pulled out of him and Kyungsoo’s hole clenched. He bit on his lip when he felt cum trickling down his skin when Jongin’s hands turned him around.

The taller man pulled him closer then, and their lips met again.

And it was soft, and loving. All the anger was gone form this kiss. It was a comforting one. Their lips moving together languidly and Jongin’s fingers brushing his cheek gently as he held his face. 

“We aren’t done.” Jongin said quietly, voice hoarse and low, but soft. Solemn almost. “We never were.”

Kyungsoo ran a tongue over his lips when Jongin fell back into his giant throne-like chair, his golden chest still heaving with deep breaths. His destroyed shirt was hanging from his sides, leaving his skin exposed. A dishevelled mess sitting in that throne. A dishevelled mess holding all the power in the world. A dishevelled mess that pulled him down, until Kyungsoo was sitting in his lap, face buried in that soft crook between Jongin’s shoulder and neck. 

And they just stood like this, Jongin’s fingers caressing Kyungsoo’s back, and Kyungsoo just breathing into the skin of his boyfriend, feeling that warmth. Feeling his heartbeat under his fingers. 

“We should start taking your anger out like this more often.” 

He felt Jongin’s chest vibrating under his fingers as the man chuckled quietly. He sounded tired. 

“I’m still angry.” 

“So am I,” Kyungsoo mumbled quietly, straightening up and looking down at Jongin and his messy hair, at his swollen lips and dark eyes. His fingers drummed on the other’s skin. “You never even let me explain. You just walked away.” 

“What is there to explain?” 

Kyungsoo breathed in deeply, eyes flashing around the room, at the messy desk, at the blazers lying on the floor, at the crumpled shirts that were hanging from their shoulders. And then back at Jongin and that anticipation filling his beautiful eyes. 

“I still haven’t replied to Wendy,” Kyungsoo said. “I still haven’t given her an answer.” 

Jongin’s lips trembled a little, a quick quiver, before he pursed them together and gazed straight into Kyungsoo’s eyes. Kyungsoo, who was already far gone, lost in that black hole, with no way out. 

“You will not accept,” Jongin sounded uncertain, almost too hopeful as he spoke then, voice but a mere whisper. “Will you?” 

Kyungsoo breathed in deeply, eyes searching for something that he did not find on Jongin’s face. Searching for that anger and hatred. They were gone. Nothing but pure sincerity and hope. 

And that’s when Kyungsoo finally saw Jongin for who he really was. A vulnerable mess. 

A perfect mess. 

He just lowered his head back into the crook of Jongin’s neck then, closing his eyes and burying his face into the other’s skin.

He felt Jongin’s fingers digging a little into his skin when he was given no answer, and his chest deflating under his fingertips when the editor in chief let out a shattered breath. But this time, he said nothing. He just let out a sigh and slid his hand down Kyungsoo’s back again, his caress sending warmth rushing through his veins. 

Kyungsoo’s fingers curled into a fist on Jongin’s chest.

He remained silent.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  OOOOF OKAY that took a minute. I am going to hell and I am dragging all of you with me so we can have a party.    
>    
>  I am sorry that it took longer, but the semester started and I am back to perpetually dying.    
>    
>  In any case, I hope you liked this update~ Let me know in the comments what you thought, I have so much fun reading your thoughts and insights on the story, your interpretations of their actions! I know what I’m writing might seem weird at times, but if you do go back in the story and read how I’ve been describing the characters so far I am sure you will find even the weirdest things to be making at least a little bit of sense  (or at least I hope so) ^^   
>    
>  Until next time, lovelies! xox    
>    
>  Feel free to talk to me on  [twitter](https://twitter.com/jongnugget)   
> 


	18. B-cut

** B-cut **

_Baekhyun_

 

 

He ran the pencil over the paper harshly, a ruthless X over his latest design. No. This didn’t work. It didn’t fit well with the rest of the items of the collection. 

He looked around the table, a sigh escaping his lips when he raked his eyes over all those crumpled sheets of paper. Baekhyun was not one to get easily irritated, but in moments like this, moments in which he couldn’t even think of one decent idea or design, maybe he was on the very edge of it. 

He let go of the pencil before that could happen and potentially ruin his entire day and, with yet another sigh, pushed his chair back. He needed a break.

And coffee. _Definitely_ coffee. 

People were greeting him as he walked down the big, white hallways of VOGUE. Friendly smiles of editors, of stylists and interns following him all the way down to the transparent doors of the biggest office on the floor. He pushed the doors open without hesitation. 

“ _Where_ the hell is Kyungsoo?” he said instead of a greeting, leaning on the empty desk in the room and throwing a look to the man in the opposite side of the room and the way he didn’t even raise his head to acknowledge him. “I need my Americano or I’ll _die_.”

“Then die.” Baekhyun scoffed at Sehun’s deadpan, eyes fixed on the younger man’s pitch-black hair, styled perfectly as he continued typing something on the computer. He took his sweet time staring at Sehun. At the way he was sitting straight with a perfect posture, at how sharp his jawline was. He had made the right decision. Sehun would be one hell of a model. “He should be here any minute now, so why don’t you sit down and wait?” 

Baekhyun just raised an eyebrow when Sehun finally looked up and saw that he was, in fact, already sitting on Kyungsoo’s desk. The younger just rolled his eyes. 

“Whatever. I had to speak to you anyways,” Sehun sighed out, pulling a folder from the corner of his desk. “Jongin wants the Prada items delivered until next week for the photoshoot in Everland. He also said you could bring some of Prive’s designs to the run through later. He will try to get them featured in a photoshoot for the next issue.”

Baekhyun couldn’t help but perk up, a smile immediately stretching his lips. A featured photoshoot was good news. It was great news actually. If that truly happened, then the new collection would simply skyrocket and there was nothing else he would want for his line. 

“Perfect. I’ll have them ready by lunch,” Baekhyun tapped his fingers on the table. “Now pause, rewind and stop again. We’re doing a photoshoot in an amusement park and no one told me about it? I’m offended.”

Sehun just gave him a look and Baekhyun’s smile turned into a teasing grin. There was nothing more entertaining than bothering Sehun at 7 in the morning. Truly nothing could be more refreshing than that. Not even coffee. 

“You know, things for the launch are looking really great. We’ve already secured features in Marie Claire and Dazed. And now, potentially VOGUE too.” Baekhyun swung his legs back and forth, throwing a look back at Sehun. The younger seemed a little less deadly now, an intrigued look in his dark eyes. “Speaking of which, I have to only get a confirmation from Minseok today, but we already have the final time for the photoshoot.” 

“When is it?” Sehun asked, trying not to look and sound as excited as he probably was, and Baekhyun just smirked. Sehun was failing and he was failing _hard_. It was apparent just how curious he was. Brat. 

“This Sunday. It’s gonna be a studio photoshoot, so I’ll have a driver come pick you up at about 7 or 8 in the morning.” Baekhyun hummed, eyebrows furrowing. “Which does remind me, I have to call and confirm with the styling team that they’ll be there.” 

“Do you need help?” 

Baekhyun puckered his lips and shook his head, eyes shooting towards the stacks of papers on Sehun’s desk. He just raised an eyebrow.

“Seems like you already have enough on your plate,” he hummed, and stared at those papers again. So much work, all the time. He didn’t know how they all hadn’t gone mad just yet. It was quite an achievement, really. Then his eyes flashed back to Sehun, and a certain thought caused his lip to quiver and shoulders to tense. “We’re launching the campaign for Prive in a little over a month.”

“I know.” Sehun said, a quick ghost of a smile passing on his lips. Baekhyun tried not to frown as he looked at all those papers on his desk.

“I’m gonna need you, Sehun. You’re the face of my new collection. We’re gonna have a lot of shows to attend, a lot of interviews and a lot of photoshoots.” He said, and when the younger man looked up to him, with a suddenly very serious expression again, Baekhyun breathed out the one question that was weighing down on him. “Is Jongin working on finding someone to replace you?” 

Sehun seemed a little stunned for a second, before he nodded in a daze. He looked away from him and started stacking papers together.

“Uh, yeah. I think so. He’s supposed to interview some of those interns you recommended next week.” 

“Just for your position?” 

Sehun looked up to him then, suddenly, and Baekhyun just tapped his fingers on Kyungsoo’s desk. Sehun looked down to the empty chair across the room, his lips pursing together as he shrugged.

“I have no idea.”

Baekhyun just ran a tongue over his lower lip, nodding. That was none of his business. None of Sehun’s either, he supposed. Not anymore, anyways. 

He just watched the younger man with the pitch-black hair, until he saw him throwing a sharp look towards the door. 

How he did it, Baekhyun didn’t know. Sehun must have had some supernatural senses, because when Baekhyun looked to the side, the transparent doors were being pushed open by Kyungsoo, a bag in one of his hands and a carton with coffees in the other. 

“There’s your Americano,” Sehun said and Baekhyun just smirked, hopping off the desk. Kyungsoo shot a look towards the first assistant, then towards him, as he walked over to his desk and set down the cups. 

“Good morning,” Kyungsoo said, picking up one of the cups and handing it to Baekhyun with pinched eyebrows. “Why are you here so early?”

“Duty calls,” Baekhyun took the cold cup from him, a sigh of relief forming in his lungs at the smell of the coffee shots. “Thanks. You’re a sweetheart.”

“Yeah, that’s me,” Kyungsoo scoffed, handing Sehun one of the many coffee cups. The first assistant just took it from him, placing a letter in Kyungsoo’s outstretched hand instead. He frowned. “What’s that?”

“Invitation.” 

Baekhyun’s eyebrows shot up as he looked at the letter, then towards Sehun and finally – towards Kyungsoo and that crease between his eyebrows. 

“To what?” 

“Chinese VOGUE’s charity fundraiser.” Sehun said, a certain knowing tone to his voice that made Baekhyun smirk behind his cup. 

“Then give it Jongin.” Kyungsoo scoffed, stretching his arm back towards Sehun.

“Jongin’s invitation is already waiting for him in his office, with the rest of the letters.” Sehun replied, fixing his vest and raising his eyebrows, rather unamused. “That one’s for you.”

“I got one too,” Baekhyun chided and Kyungsoo turned to look at him. “We can go together. Don’t you just love buying ancient swords or, I don’t know, shelves that are falling apart.”

“Why am I invited?” Kyungsoo frowned. “I can’t afford any of those things.”

“The charity fundraiser is a private event hosted by Chinese VOGUE’s one and only editor-in-chief,” Sehun said, a sharp look in his eyes. “And why Zhang Yixing decided to invite you I have no idea. You can ask him when you meet him.” 

Baekhyun hid his smirk behind his cup again, as he watched the expression of Kyungsoo just progressively darkening as he stared at the familiar envelope. 

“Oh, Jongin’s gonna love that.”

Kyungsoo shot his eyes towards him, his nose crunched just the tiniest bit. Enough to make him look like an upset kitten. 

“Why are you here?” he frowned. “Don’t you have anything better to do? Like, dye your hair or something?” 

Baekhyun’s hand instinctively shot up towards his hair, catching the end of fading red strands. He smirked, taking a sip of his Americano.

“No need to be rude,” he turned towards Sehun. “And speaking of dying hair, Sehun, have you thought about going blond?”

“What?”

“I think it will really suit you and the clothes you’re about to, you know, represent.”

It was Sehun’s turn to curiously raise a hand towards his dark hair and purse his lips in thought. Kyungsoo still looked very much stressed out and Baekhyun just smirked, chest feeling lighter.

Indeed.

There was nothing better that wreaking some havoc first thing in the morning to get your inspiration going.

“Anyways, I gotta run, kids,” he wove his hand dismissively. “I don’t really have time to waste.”

He headed for the door, pulling it open. He turned to throw a quick look towards Kyungsoo.

“Thanks for the coffee, love. Send my best regards to Yixing.”

_“Fuck you.”_

Baekhyun escaped the office with laughter bubbling in his chest. 

* * *

Baekhyun’s eyes were trained on the man standing under the large lights, the shutters of cameras going off every few seconds. Minseok’s voice was loud and clear as he was giving the model instructions on how to stand so he could get the best angles for the clothes to show. 

Baekhyun tried to not stare too dreamily at Chanyeol who was soaking up every word and following every order, turning his body to the side, or raising his chin. 

For him, too, Baekhyun had been absolutely right. He might have not had any background in fashion, but Chanyeol really knew how to do this well – the whole looking good in front of a camera thing. It suited him. 

“Get your jaw off the floor.” 

Baekhyun scoffed, turning to the side. He had to make a double take. 

Sehun was standing in front of him, for once not in those awfully constricting suits and vests that he always wore in VOGUE. He was wearing jeans and he was wearing a casual T-shirt from his collection. His hair was a golden blond, falling in waves to the side. 

“Well, well, well,” Baekhyun smirked, eyes shamelessly raking Sehun from head to toe. “Don’t you look dashing.”

“Isn’t that the point?” 

“Have you ever heard of the concept of being humble?” Baekhyun scoffed again. “You’re gonna make an awful celebrity. You’re gonna be one of those crackheads who let all the fame get to their heads. And when you get famous you’re gonna be an asshole who asks others to play music when you enter somewhere. Like, Madonna or something. Vogue. Seems about right.”

“Well that song never gets old.” 

“And here I thought you were done with VOGUE.” 

“Not until I get on that cover,” Sehun smirked, shaking his head in disbelief at their ridiculous chatter. Baekhyun just smiled at the younger, his chest feeling unusually warm. Of course Sehun wasn’t going to become an ungrateful asshole. He had kept up with him, Jongin and every other asshole in the industry for years and he still was a nice kid, so Baekhyun had faith in him. 

He had no doubt that Sehun would make it. That he would someday be the cover of VOGUE magazine. He would do everything and anything in his power to help him achieve all his goals. 

“Anyways,” Baekhyun cleared his throat and looked back to Chanyeol absentmindedly, still posing for the cameras. “I talked to Wendy today. She told me Jongin’s not replying to any of her emails regarding the Marie Claire interview he had scheduled for next month.” 

Sehun scoffed, a loud and cynical sound. He gave him a look.

“You don’t really expect Jongin to go through with the interview after everything that happened, right?”

Baekhyun smirked, shaking his head.

“Not really, no.” he breathed out. “Although, I do have to say, it was awkward for a few days but they seem okay now, don’t they? Jongin and Kyungsoo, I mean.”

“I think so,” Sehun hummed. “I mean, Kyungsoo’s always staying behind after work to wait for Jongin. And not to mention all those looks they give each other when they think I don’t see them. Disgusting.” 

“Oh,” Baekhyun let out a laugh. “You mean as disgusting as you and Junmyeon making out in the restrooms?” 

The red flush that rose to Sehun’s face suited that new blond hair he was sporting and Baekhyun smiled victoriously. 

“At least I don’t fuck him in the office.”

Baekhyun’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. To the point he even looked away from Chanyeol for a brief second to look at Sehun, whose flush was just becoming darker and darker. 

“In the office? Well, that’s new. How the hell would you know that? Were you there?” 

“ _Ew_. Of course not.” Sehun seemed to shudder at the very idea. “But I assumed. They left the party earlier last week, and then I didn’t see any of them. And the next morning Jongin gave me a few contracts to re-do because they were all crumpled and stuff. And I distinctly remember placing those contracts on his desk before we left for the party. There’s no other way they could have gotten that messy.” 

“He might have just dropped them, though.” 

“I found buttons on the floor of his office and a whole bunch of tissues in his paper bin.” Sehun clicked his tongue. “That, and Kyungsoo couldn’t even look me in the eye the next morning.” 

“Interesting,” Baekhyun smirked again. “So Jongin does have a dick to think with sometimes, after all. That’s good to know.”

“I don’t even know what you mean,” Sehun winced. “I don’t even want to know what you mean.” 

“I’m just saying,” Baekhyun shrugged. “He just needed to get laid. Get some steam out. Give his dick some fun times. I always said that sex is the best way to resolve a couple’s problems.”

“You think sex is the best way to resolve everything,” Sehun shut his eyes and shook his head in exasperation. “Can we please stop talking about my boss’ dick?  This isn’t right.”

“Hey, I’m your boss now.” 

“And the same request goes for you too,” Sehun shot his sharp gaze at him. “I really don’t wanna talk about your dick.” 

“Why not?!” Baekhyun’s voice raised in volume. “I can tell you a lot of things about my dick. My dick’s nice!” 

“I can vouch for that.” 

Baekhyun turned his head to the side at the sound of the deep, husky voice. Chanyeol was walking towards them, looking like an absolute vision with his styled hair, the makeup on his face and those brand-new clothes. There was a little, dazed smirk on his lips as his eyes flashed between him and Sehun. 

“I have no doubt that you can,” Sehun just raised his eyebrows, not really surprised, as he threw Baekhyun a glance. He just smirked at him and shrugged. 

Minseok called out Sehun’s name then, urged him to go closer so they’d start his shoot. 

Sehun took that moment to completely zoom out of Baekhyun’s range, and the editor could just laugh at the blond hurricane storming away. 

He watched as Minseok started talking quietly to Sehun, pointing to different reflectors and cameras. Sehun was nodding to every single word. He looked so at ease. So comfortable.

So in his zone. 

Yes, Baekhyun had definitely made the right choices. 

He turned to Chanyeol nudging him lightly at his side as he stepped closer to him. 

“So,” he said, body brushing against the other man’s. “Are we still on for Friday night?” 

“Yeah,” Chanyeol grinned and Baekhyun was once again amazed at how beautiful that big smile was. How positive it was. “I think Jongdae’s still not used to me actually spending time in my own apartment instead of his.”

Baekhyun tried to contain the proud smirk. Yes. Him and Chanyeol definitely made use of that time they spent in the little apartment of the taller man. _Definitely_. 

He couldn’t help himself. He just hooked a hand around Chanyeol’s elbow and pulled him closer, not really caring about crumpling the clothes.

Whatever. They were his anyways.  

“I can’t wait.”

* * *

“I think this one is actually good,” Baekhyun hummed, sliding the picture of the red bag across the desk towards Jongin. The editor in chief took it with a very concentrated expression, before eventually nodding.

“Good. Add it to the list then, with the green one and the black and yellow sling back.”

“What about this?” Baekhyun pushed his glasses up his nose, looking for the little handbag he had liked earlier on the mess of different pictures on the desk. He picked it up when he saw it. Jongin just shook his head.

“No. We already have a featured Michael Kors that looks similar to that,” Jongin heaved a breath, taking the picture from Baekhyun’s hands. “Although, this one does look okay.” 

Baekhyun just shrugged, gathering the photos that didn’t make the cut and shoving them back inside the big folder in his hands.

“You know what? Let’s get a few pieces from that model as well,” Jongin brought down his pen to the photo, quickly scribbling a note. “We can try rearranging the photos.”

“Or we can always keep it for another issue.” 

“That’s true.” Jongin hummed, still scribbling something on the sticky note.

“I can’t believe that that brat Zitao actually listened to your advice and altered some of his ideas,” Baekhyun mused, looking between the few designs they had chosen for the feature. “The power of constructive criticism.”

“It wasn’t criticism, it was merely a suggestion.” Jongin hummed, finishing his note and letting go of the pen. “A suggestion, that he ignored three times and got rejected from various magazines.” 

“I can feel the smugness in the air.” 

Jongin just smirked, dropping the photos of the chosen designs and his notes in the envelope, before closing it.

“Kyungsoo!”

Baekhyun was in the middle of unnecessarily licking the envelope closed under Jongin’s disapproving gaze, when Kyungsoo showed up at the arched doorway, eyes wide. 

“Yes?”

Jongin just raised his hand with the now sealed envelope. 

“These need to be taken downtown to Tao’s studio as soon as possible.” Kyungsoo took the folder from Jongin’s hand as their boss continued speaking. “Tell him we will need seven products of each from the chosen ones. He also needs to take care of the documents, so tell the legal department to deal with that and have it done by the end of the week at latest. What happened with the Chanel skirts?”

“They’ve arrived and are ready for the shoot.”

“Good. Call Sehun and tell him to get me a tea on his way back to the office. You go to Tao’s and make sure you’re back by three. We’re starting the run through right after my meeting with the publishers.”

“Alright.” Kyungsoo nodded. “Is that all?”

“That’s all.”

Baekhyun was peeking over the edge of the envelope, his fingers tapping its edges, as he watched Kyungsoo escaping Jongin’s office in a rush. 

His eyes moved to Jongin then. Jongin, who was looking at his second assistant’s retreating form until he was out of the room. Then he sighed out and slumped back in his big chair. 

Baekhyun waited a few seconds, until he heard the rustling of papers and the sound of Kyungsoo telling Sehun to hurry the fuck up on the phone before eventually the footsteps died and Kyungsoo went out.

His eyes flashed from the now closed door to the boss again. Jongin had a particularly longing look in his eyes and Baekhyun just leaned over the desk. He set down the folder, pursing his lips. 

“You wanna talk about it?”

Jongin seemed to startle a little at his question, eyes going wide for a split millisecond, flashing towards him. Like a cornered animal. He just straightened in his seat. 

“No.”

“Fine,” Baekhyun leaned back. “Keep holding that stuff in. That’s healthy.”

Jongin just shot him a sharp glare, one that usually scared anybody else it was directed at. Baekhyun raised his eyebrows.

“You’re gonna get an ulcer.”

Jongin seemed to ignore him as he pulled a stack of papers closer to himself and perched his glasses back on his nose, reading the papers. Baekhyun looked at him, before letting out a defeated sigh, hair falling over his eyes. 

He was about to push his chair back and leave, but it was Jongin dropping the papers back on the desk with a loud sigh that made him look at him again. The editor in chief’s eyes looked kind of glazed, as he removed the glasses yet again and slid them across the desk. He pinched the bridge of his nose and Baekhyun’s lips pursed in a sympathetic smile. 

He didn’t think he’d ever seen Jongin looking this tired of life. 

“I just don’t get it,” the other man started and Baekhyun just leaned forward, indicating that he was listening. That he didn’t plan on going anywhere. “I don’t understand why this is happening. Why everybody decided to leave me now.”

Baekhyun straightened a little in his seat, looking at Jongin who just flashed him a look, a soft one, with a hint of a smile on his lips as he shook his head.

“I blame you.” 

“Hey, don’t blame the player, honey. Blame the game.” Baekhyun let out a breath, bringing his hands together. He held his breath. “So Kyungsoo has decided to take the job?”

“I don’t know,” Jongin admitted, sounding more and more tired and desperate with every following word. “I don’t think he knows either. It’s all just so…so very confusing. For him. For me. For all of us.” 

“So let me get this straight,” Baekhyun closed his eyes for a moment, raising a finger. “You were all mad because-…because what? Because he might start working somewhere else? Because he might leave Vogue?” 

At Jongin giving him no reply and pouting like a kid in that giant chair in front of him, Baekhyun just breathed out and shook his head.

“That’s selfish.” The designer concluded. “And quite dumb, to be fair. Him leaving Vogue eventually doesn’t mean he’s leaving you.”

“I wasn’t _mad_.” Jongin said while avoiding his eyes. “And I know that. I know the one doesn’t lead to the other, but I just-…I don’t know. It all just piled up. I kept thinking how I might not see him every day here, right beside me. And it just hurt.”

Baekhyun hummed quietly. This was a beginning. Jongin was finally opening up about his thoughts and as every self-respecting friend, Baekhyun would listen until the very end. It was not his life; he could not decide what could happen next. But he could listen. Hell, he knew that sometimes just letting it all out made everything easier. Maybe that’s what Jongin needed right now, and Baekhyun would give it to him. 

“And it’s not just that,” the editor in chief continued, running a hand through his hair. “I’m scared.”

“Scared?” Baekhyun’s eyebrows pinched together in confusion. 

Jongin’s nod was solemn as he finally looked at him, a look of pure clarity and transparency. Eyes that had seen everything, eyes with years of experience behind them. Baekhyun stilled down. 

“You know better than anybody how harsh this industry is, Baekhyun.” Jongin said, voice lower and darker. His lips were curled in a frown, an almost disgusted snarl as he continued speaking. “How horrible, how unforgiving it is. And Kyungsoo…he is still learning, but he is far from being ready to face all that by himself. If he takes that job in Marie Claire, I’m afraid of what he will have to face. Of the people that he will meet, the shit he will have to go through.” 

Baekhyun held in his breath again, heart skipping a beat.

This time, Jongin had a point. The world of fashion – it wasn’t just beauty and glamour. Behind it, everything was much darker. Much more complicated than the smiles on the models’ faces and the pretty dresses. 

It was a harsh world. Cruel and vicious. 

Unforgiving, indeed. 

“I’m scared because I won’t be able to protect him if he goes away.”

Baekhyun nodded slowly, processing the information and that rather distraught expression on Jongin’s face quickly. He bit on his lower lip in thought. In search of the right answers. The right words.

And eventually, he smiled.

“You shouldn’t worry about Kyungsoo. He’s a strong guy,” Baekhyun said, and just smiled even wider when Jongin looked at him with raised in confusion and surprise eyebrows. Baekhyun raised his own back in challenge. “I mean, he survived you.”

The smile on Jongin’s lips was equal parts fond and bitter. 

Bittersweet.

“What should I do then?” 

Baekhyun blinked in surprise at Jongin who was staring right at him, eyes inviting and soft and begging for the help and answers he so desperately needed. 

But Baekhyun did not have those answers. 

He ended up shaking his head.

“You shouldn’t do anything, Jongin. The world is a complicated place, and you’re right, it’s full of horrible people and horrible places and horrible things happen every day. And you can’t protect him from all that.” Baekhyun stood up from his chair and Jongin just followed him with his gaze. “Just…give him time. Let him think about it. Kyungsoo is a smart guy. I’m sure whatever he decides to do will be the right thing.”

Jongin just kept staring at him and Baekhyun pulled the folder with the pictures from the desk. 

“Just support him. Because I am sure that’s what he wants the most, more than that job. It’s knowing that you’re by his side.” 

It was silent for a few moments, as both of them assimilated the words. 

When Jongin spoke, his voice was soft and low and the smile was lacing his words. 

“Are you always so full of shit?” 

“Yes. That’s how I won my award for editor of the year in February.” Baekhyun held the envelope closer to his chest. “And don’t be afraid of people leaving you. Working somewhere else doesn’t mean we’re going away. We’re your friends, we’re not leaving. Not me. Not Sehun. And certainly not Kyungsoo. Nobody is going anywhere.” 

Baekhyun watched as Jongin rubbed his face with his palms, then pushed his hair back. He nodded once, mostly to himself, judging by that dazed look in his eyes. Then he looked at him and nodded again.

“Thank you.”

Baekhyun smiled, tilting his head just the tiniest bit. 

“Always,” he said, lowering his hands with the envelope again. “Oh! And don’t worry. I know you have an image to protect. Your secret’s safe with me.”

It was Jongin’s turn to look at him with confusion filling his eyes.

“My secret?” 

He would have probably been fired on the spot if he were anybody else, but he wasn’t. That’s why Baekhyun reached out with the large envelope over the desk, tapping Jongin’s head with it two times before the editor-in-chief pushed his hand away with a disgruntled pout.

“That you’re a big softie.”

* * *

The dinner was served on the little table in Chanyeol’s cosy apartment. The food was quite delicious, which made Baekhyun think that Chanyeol had just ordered takeout and put it in pretty plates for show. In any case, he appreciated the efforts and the food. 

The wine was sweet, one of his own from his old collection of expensive gifts that he had never had the occasion to open before. 

Now, however, with his new boyfriend over quiet and private dinner on Friday night, he deemed it reasonable enough to pull out the bottle of French wine and bring it with himself. 

“How was work today?” 

“It was quite alright,” Baekhyun said around a mouthful of spaghetti. He then threw a quirky look in the taller boy’s direction. “I only had three breakdowns. That’s an improvement.”

Chanyeol smiled across the table, still twisting his fork around to get more spaghetti on it. 

“I talked to Jongin today,” Baekhyun continued. “About Kyungsoo.”

“What about him?” Chanyeol seemed a little oblivious as he kept twisting his fork.

“That job at Marie Claire.” Baekhyun shrugged, letting go of his fork and just leaning on the table instead. Chanyeol hummed around his food. Baekhyun cocked his head a little as he reached out for his wine glass. “Is he gonna do it? Is he going to take the job?” 

Chanyeol looked up then, looking especially stressed out as he gulped down his food. He picked up his own glass of wine and swirled it around. He looked nervous when he shrugged.

“I-…uh. I don’t really know. We haven’t talked much about it. He looks very conflicted whenever someone brings it up. Like he’ll lose it and start crying, you know. SO I just kind of-…avoid the topic.” Chanyeol ended up saying, taking one sip of the wine and wincing at the bitter taste. Baekhyun smiled. “I don’t know. I think he doesn’t know either.”

“So I keep hearing,” Baekhyun chuckled. “Honestly, people have to work on their gossiping skills. Everywhere I go I hear the same, old, outdated answer. I need the tea!”

Chanyeol seemed to find his use of modern kids language too funny, because he started laughing, setting his wine glass down in the process. 

Baekhyun strongly suspected the entire laughing fit was just a show to cover up him ditching the wine. 

Endearing. Chanyeol, despite his impressive and almost intimidating height, was just endearing. Like a cute, hyperactive puppy. 

Being with Chanyeol made him wonder why he had ever even found any appeal in going straight home after work and passing out on the couch with chips and his laptop open on Netflix’s homepage on the table in front of him. 

Being with him was energizing. It made him feel alive, even after an entire day at work.

And being with him, Baekhyun realized, as he took another sip of wine, was beautiful. And it was about the two of them. And he did not know why they were even speaking about Jongin and Kyungsoo right now.

Sure, good friends did that. But Baekhyun also had his needs. He could think about Jongin and Kyungsoo later. 

Instead, he looked at Chanyeol over the glass he was holding, a little smirk pulling on his lips.

“Anyways, are we just going to sit here, eat and talk?” Baekhyun asked, swirling the wine around in his glass. “I thought we were going to wine and dine and then sixty-nine.”

Chanyeol’s face became a pretty shade of pink as he looked at him, a smile playing on his lips.

“Well, we already dined. We already had our wine. So…”

“So.” Baekhyun tried not to grin as he tapped a finger against his glass and raised it to his lips one last time. He leaned his head back, drinking every last drop of wine from his glass, before putting it down on the table with a smug smirk. “Let’s go then?” 

Chanyeol didn’t seem like he needed another invitation, as his own lips pulled back in a mischievous smile and he hurried to push his chair back and stand up.

Baekhyun took his hand, a tingling feeling starting to spread in his chest and throughout his entire body. All the way until his fingertips, as Chanyeol pulled him deeper into his apartment.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here's another filler-ish sort of chapter. 
> 
> I tried to give a little insight from the point of view of someone who isn't really ~directly~ involved. I hope you liked it ^^
> 
> Please let me know in the comment what you think ^^ 
> 
> Until next time! xox


	19. Chapter 17

16

 

It was driving Kyungsoo insane.

Sitting in the office, watching Sehun gather his belongings from the desk on opposite side of the room into those carton moving boxes, and just thinking. 

Thinking about Sehun, thinking about himself, thinking about Jongin, thinking about Wendy. 

He was going to go crazy if he kept thinking about that. It had been bothering him for weeks now, completely detaching his soul from reality. Taking over his entire being and tearing him apart. All those decisions. 

His eyes flashed back to the computer then, to the article about Jongin he had open. He was supposed to run quality control before giving that small publication the green light to publish it. But it wasn’t the reading or the editing that gave him a hard time, it was trying to assimilate the contents of it that made his breathing heavier.

Because according to this interview, according to this article, according to what Kyungsoo knew about Jongin, he hadn’t always been the intimidating editor-in-chief of the biggest fashion magazine in the world. He hadn’t always been that fashion icon that he was today. He hadn’t always been the feared and admired muse of designers and models.  

He had once been a normal boy. His parents had owned a bakery. 

He had once been a dancer. Ballet dancer. Jazz dancer. 

He had once been a model. 

Someone with big dreams. Someone ready to fight for them.

Someone not that different from him or Sehun.

And all of that, Kim Jongin had been only about five years ago. 

Just a little over five years ago Jongin had been in his position. Jongin had been where he was now. 

And look where he was now. Ruling an empire. 

Kyungsoo breathed out a sigh, leaning back in his chair, looking at the screen, but not really seeing it. The words looked foggy, a curtain falling over his eyes, filled with all his thoughts and struggles. 

Five years were a long time. 

They were long enough for someone to choose their path in life. Long enough for someone to build a ladder and start climbing towards those goals that were hiding among the stars. 

Five years could make all the difference in the world. Or they could change nothing.

He didn’t know where he would be in five years. He didn’t even know how he wanted this time to play out. 

Five years were a long time, but they were also nothing. Just another fleeting moment. 

He pursed his lips. Life was a tricky thing. 

He didn’t know anything. He couldn’t know anything. Not from now anyways. 

“Kyungsoo?” 

He blinked up at the sound of his own name, that curtain disappearing and the world coming into focus again. Reality surrounding him with the white walls of VOGUE’s office and Jongin leaning against the arched doorway. He was looking at him lightly raised eyebrows. 

“Are you okay? You look like you’re spacing out.”

“Yeah, no, I’m-…” Kyungsoo blinked twice, shaking his head. “I’m fine.” 

Jongin’s eyes stayed fixed on him for a few long moments, before he finally looked up to the other desk. 

“Sehun, did you get your documents from HR?” 

“Hm?” the first assistant looked up, a hand running through his now strikingly blond hair. “They haven’t called yet, I didn’t think they were ready.” 

“They are,” Jongin confirmed, an unreadable expression on his face. “I signed everything last night. I also sent them the letter of recommendation this morning. Everything should be done already.” 

“The letter of-...”

“Yes.” Jongin nodded, not quite paying attention to that absolute shock running over Sehun’s face. That hint of happiness apparent in his eyes that looked suspiciously teary. Kyungsoo could only smile a little, a bittersweet smile, at Sehun’s surprise. At Jongin’s little smile, only visible in his eyes. “Go get them. They just need your signature.” 

“I-…thank you.” 

Jongin just shrugged at that, looking down. Kyungsoo could see him smiling. 

“Go on. And get me a tea on your way back.”

Sehun just nodded soundlessly, still very much shocked, as he headed for the door. Kyungsoo watched him disappearing down the hallway, a fury of blond with a spring in his step. 

He was so happy for Sehun. Sehun deserved it all. He couldn’t think of a person who deserved it more than Sehun did. 

He startled when he heard his name being called again.

“Kyungsoo?” that soft, honey-dipped voice resounded in the quiet office and he looked up to see Jongin was looking at him again, a very fond and hopeful expression on his face. “Are you free on Friday night?”

Kyungsoo blinked in surprise at the sudden question. 

“Uh, yeah…yeah, I think so.”

“Let’s go out then?” Jongin suggested, shrugging his broad shoulders. It was almost hypnotic, the way he was looking at him with his slightly parted lips and that artfully tousled brown hair. “It’s been a while since we’ve been on a date. Just you and me.”

Kyungsoo breathed in, eyes flashing towards the now closed glass door. Then back to Jongin and the way his own eyes were flashing towards the door that Sehun had just escaped through. A sort of melancholic look in his eyes. 

And maybe Jongin needed this. Maybe just as much as he needed it. 

Distraction. A push. 

Kyungsoo ran his tongue over his lower lip, before eventually nodding. It was time to let things get back to normal.

“Yeah. I’d like that.” 

* * *

The bar was little and dimly lit and the drinks were starting to make everything look hazier. 

It was the one place where he could finally let go of everything. The one place where he could allow himself to break down and just live. The one place where he could let out his frustrations, where he could drink and try to forget. 

With the only people who could understand how he felt. 

There was nobody in the world who knew him better than Chanyeol and Jongdae. Nobody in the world he would rather tell all his darkest secrets, all his worries. And even if they did not always understand, they were always the ones who would accept it all for what it was. 

So right here, in their little bar, right now, with a shot in his hand and the live band playing in the corner, with the sound drowning out his thoughts and the alcohol numbing his heart, he could finally relax. 

“Hey, calm down,” Jongdae’s laughter sounded a bit distant as Kyungsoo downed yet another shot, the taste bitter and sharp, burning his throat. 

“I’m calm,” he replied, putting the now empty glass back down. He was aware of how heavy his eyelids felt, of how tired of everything he was. How exhausting everything was. “I’m very calm. If I was any calmer, I’d be dead.”

Chanyeol’s laughter was booming, more so than the music in the background, and Kyungsoo just smiled, relaxing in his chair. They were all tipsy at least. Maybe on the verge of getting drunk. 

Maybe that’s all he needed tonight. Just one last final push, so he could forget everything. So he could sleep at least one night without rolling around in his bed and wondering what will happen the next day, the next week or month. Next year. In five years. 

He just absentmindedly smiled at Jongdae calling over the waitress and ordering three more shots, despite his warnings earlier. He appreciated it. Because he knew that he could rely on them. 

Because he knew that, despite everything that was happening in his life, he still had those two. They always had his back. And they would always support him.

No matter what job he had. 

He knew he’d always have Jongdae and Chanyeol by his side at least. And that was a breath of fresh reassurance that he didn’t know he had so desperately needed until they met him tonight and embraced him in their strong hands, two different palms patting his back. 

Four hands holding on to him and not letting go. 

* * *

Kyungsoo wasn’t even sure how his heart was taking it all in – the sight of Jongin among all those paintings in the gallery, his fingers intertwined with his as they walked slowly and stopped to admire each and every piece of artwork. 

Jongin would speak to him then, explain each painting. Tell him about the artist, about their inspiration and history. 

And Kyungsoo would just stare and listen, completely entranced by the elegance of everything and by all that knowledge that Jongin had. All that interest in the fine arts, catalysing all that information.

Everything was just building up to create that perfect human being that he was and Kyungsoo’s heart just could not keep up. It was beating loudly in his chest, as Jongin’s fingers tightened around his hand and pulled him forward to the next painting. 

It was a museum of modern arts, so the paintings were mostly minimalistic. Kyungsoo supposed Jongin enjoyed that. It certainly was different from his job and all those clothes he had to deal with on a daily basis. Maybe there was another kind of beauty in the simple things. Kyungsoo could see it here. He could feel it. 

“Don’t move,” Kyungsoo said suddenly, letting go of Jongin’s hand. He stepped back, pulling his phone out, while Jongin just turned his head to look at him, confused. Kyungsoo laughed quietly, waving his hand. “Look back, don’t move.”  

And Jongin did. 

Kyungsoo was no photographer. He sure was no Minseok. And his phone camera was all he had right now, but it was enough to capture this – Jongin standing in front of the simple painting on the wall, the white circle around his head like a halo. He was wearing a black coat, and his dark hair wasn’t styled. He was just standing there, in front of the painting, looking at it and Kyungsoo took the picture. 

Art. That’s what Jongin was, essentially. All of him and what he did – it was art. His job, his hobbies, his face. All of it was art. 

“Let me see,” Jongin chuckled when he finally realized that Kyungsoo was taking a picture of him. He made sure to catch his hand again as soon as Kyungsoo approached him again, leaning over him to look down at the phone. Kyungsoo swiped back to the picture he had taken, a little smile spreading on his lips. Jongin’s quiet hum was close to his ear, before he felt a pair of lips on his cheek. “You have a good eye. That’s very aesthetically pleasing.”

“ _You_ are aesthetically pleasing.” Kyungsoo countered, sliding his phone back in his pocket. 

Jongin just rolled his eyes, fingers naturally intertwining with Kyungsoo’s, as they continued walking around in the gallery. 

* * *

Kyungsoo almost laughed when Jongin pulled up in the mostly empty parking lot in front of the fast food restaurant. It was kind of ironic, watching Jongin shoving his car keys back in his Gucci bag under the yellow light coming from the McDonald’s logo. 

“There’s nothing that can top fries and ice cream, right?” Jongin shrugged and Kyungsoo’s smile just widened as he followed the taller man inside. 

“There’s a projection of old movies in a drive-in theatre tonight, not far from here,” Jongin said as they stopped at the register, waiting for their order. “We can get our food and go there, if you want.”

Kyungsoo didn’t know what he was more shocked at – the fact that they were actually in McDonalds, or that Jongin had suggested a drive-in theatre. 

“That sounds amazing,” Kyungsoo said, voice hanging in the air. Jongin just raised an eyebrow.

“But?” his boyfriend smiled. “I can feel there’s a but coming.”

“I don’t mean to rain on your parade,” Kyungsoo’s eyes flashed to the parking. “But your car’s not really suited for that type of thing.” 

Jongin threw a look out the windows of McDonald’s, a reluctant frown on his face, before he eventually breathed out in acceptance.

“Right. I did not think of that.” He turned to Kyungsoo then. “I do have a classic Ferrari from 1961, though, so we should go some other time.”

“Of course you do,” Kyungsoo scoffed. “I’m not even surprised.”

“Hey, I got it at a charity auction. It was for a good cause,” Jongin took their bag from the cashier, before throwing an arm over Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “And it’s pretty.”

“You rich people are a whole different breed, I swear.” Kyungsoo shook his head, snuggling closer to Jongin as they walked back out and towards the shiny black car of the editor-in-chief. “And speaking of charity auctions, I need to ask you something.”

“Is it about work?”

“A little.” 

Jongin stopped by the car, setting the bag on the car’s hood and giving Kyungsoo a look. They’d talked earlier, before their date. No work talk. That had been the only rule.

No work talk to spoil their evening. Tonight was just about the two of them. And none of them wanted to talk about work. Not about VOGUE, not about designers or run throughs, not about fashion shows and schedules. No work talk. 

Jongin just opened the bag and pulled out a fry, shrugging and letting out a dramatic sigh before taking a bite of his fry, leaning against the car.

“Shoot.” 

Kyungsoo just smiled a little.

“Yixing invited me to that fundraiser he’s holding.” He said, almost too cautiously, as he tried to find a trace of shock or annoyance on Jongin’s face. He didn’t even flinch, though, as he dove his hand inside the bag to retrieve yet another fry. “I just-…I just wanted to let you know.”

“Alright,” Jongin hummed, looking at him. “Will you go?” 

Kyungsoo blinked quickly, his shoulders tensing.

“Um. I don’t know.”

Jongin’s chuckle was quiet, as he bit on the fry. 

“Do you _want_ to go?” 

Kyungsoo opened his mouth, but then closed it when no sound came out. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Jongin again. There was absolutely no trace of dislike or distaste on his face. Just eyebrows raised in an innocent question as he kept munching on his fries. 

“You don’t really sound surprised.”

“Because I’m not,” Jongin shrugged. “I knew already.”

Kyungsoo wasn’t really surprised to hear that either. Intrigued, yes, but not really surprised. He pulled the fry out of Jongin’s hand and threw it in his mouth, watching the other man’s eyes following his movements.

“How?”

“I told Yixing to invite you.” Jongin ended up saying simply, and at that, Kyungsoo’s eyebrows shot up. 

“What?! Why would you?”

“Because,” Jongin reached out with his free hand, pulling Kyungsoo closer until he finally leaned on him and the car dipped under their combined weight. “It would have been so boring if I had to go by myself.” 

“Really…”

“That, and I wanted to show off what’s mine,” Jongin ended up saying, his breath hot on Kyungsoo’s skin in the chilly evening. Kyungsoo’s eyelids fluttered when Jongin’s hand snaked around his neck and pulled him even closer, their lips almost brushing. Just when he was about to lean in and kiss his boyfriend, the other spoke again, quietly. A mere whisper laced with amusement. “You should wear your hair up.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t help the scoff that escaped his lips, nor the roll of his eyes. He leaned away from Jongin, giving him an incredulous look. The man didn’t let go of him, though. He just smirked, a rather smug look on his face. 

“You are _so_ petty, it’s unbelievable.”

“That’s me,” Jongin smiled, peeling himself off the car and picking up their bag from McDonald’s again. “Anyways, since we’re not going to the drive-in theatre, we can just go to a normal one instead. How about that?”

Kyungsoo felt fluttering in his chest, as he let go of Jongin. 

“How awfully mundane of you, Mr. Kim.”

“Hm, I like it when you call me Mr. Kim.” Jongin said, moving around the car towards the driver seat. Kyungsoo felt heat rushing to his face in the same time he smirked.

“The first day we met you told me not to call you that.”

“The first day we met you called me ma’am.” Jongin looked at him with raised eyebrows, before opening the door. “I guess things change.” 

They did. 

Kyungsoo’s breath hitched as he watched Jongin putting their food on the back seats, before opening the door on his side and motioning his hand towards the other one, telling Kyungsoo to get in. 

Some things really did change. Sure, it may have taken a while, but things were changing. They were changing for good. 

And Kyungsoo could see that change. Despite everything, despite all the disappointment and disapproval, despite all that, Jongin was still trying. For him. 

For them. 

And that was enough for him to know what he truly wanted. To know that maybe there was one more pair of hands to support him in everything he decided to do. One more pair of hands to hold him tight and keep him afloat. 

His hand hesitated on the car door handle. 

He pulled out his phone from his pocket then, fingers quickly navigating to his email. 

He opened the message, the one that had been sitting in his drafts for weeks now. The one that had been tormenting him late at night, keeping him awake. 

Without a further thought, he finally clicked the send button. 

And when the email was sent, he felt all the breath leaving his lungs. 

And along with it, all those worries. His body felt light and his mind was suddenly clear.

He pulled the door open and sat down in the passenger seat. 

He turned his head to the side and Jongin was already looking at him, a little smile on his beautiful face, and Kyungsoo felt yet another pang in his chest. His heart skipping a beat at the sight. 

Things did change. And now, they would probably change even more. 

He was looking forward to that.

* * *

Kyungsoo knew for a fact that when those fashion magazines were organizing big events like this, they didn’t have any stoppers. They’d go to all lengths to create marvellous and unforgettable experiences.

He knew that better than anyone. Him and Sehun had done this so many times already – organizing events, stressing all day long whether everything would turn out as perfect as Jongin wanted it to be. They’d gone through it all.

But this? This was different.

Because for the first time he was not the one who had been organizing it. He was here as a guest, enjoying his time as much as everyone else did. He was here as a guest, taking in the glamour and hard work of countless assistants in Chinese VOGUE. 

Jongin had been trying to hover around him as much as possible, but when people eventually started swarming him – old colleagues, business partners, designers, photographers and journalists – he had to give Kyungsoo an apologetic smile before being dragged away to meet yet another group of business partners. 

Kyungsoo had sent him off with a little smile and a shake of his head. Jongin couldn’t catch a break, could he?

No, he couldn’t. Kyungsoo just ended up standing there by himself, enjoying the atmosphere and the music, while watching Jongin from afar. He raised the champagne flute to his lips, enjoying the bubbly. 

It wasn’t much later when he suddenly felt someone approaching him. He looked up just in time to see the other man speaking.

“So. You did come.” 

Kyungsoo blinked in surprise, shooting a look towards Sehun and his styled up blond hair, at his straight suit and hand shoved in his pocket. Even that looked elegant and pretty when Sehun did it. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Sehun just looked at him, unamused, before jugging his head to the side. To the group of old men, associates, that Jongin was talking to. Kyungsoo’s lips parted when he saw another familiar face.

“I’m Junmyeon’s plus one.”

“Nice,” Kyungsoo nodded. He had completely forgotten about the other editors that had been invited. He had completely forgotten about anything and anyone who wasn’t Jongin. “Where’s Baekhyun? I thought he was invited too.”

“He was. But he couldn’t make it.” Sehun shrugged, stopping a waiter to grab a champagne glass for himself. “He had to fly out to LA to organize some last things for the launch event of his collection.”

Kyungsoo smiled. Every time Sehun spoke about Baekhyun’s collection, about his new job, his eyes twinkled, despite that stoic expression on his face. It was endearing how excited he was about it. 

“So what, you’re flying out to LA next week?”

“That’s the plan. And speaking of Baekhyun…” Sehun took a sip of his drink, before reaching out to invade Kyungsoo’s personal space. He touched the side of his jacket, eyes inquiring as they raked his entire body, from his shoulders to the tip of his shoes, and then back. “Did he put this together for you? It looks great.”

Kyungsoo looked down to his outfit, that elegant Dior suit, courtesy of Jongin. He had paired it up with a baby blue silk shirt, another one of his investments over the last few months.

“Uh, no. I did it myself.”

Sehun couldn’t hide the surprise on his face this time. He looked pleased, almost proud even, when he flashed one last look towards Kyungsoo. 

“So are you just going to stand here in the corner all night long, or do you plan on actually joining the party?”

Kyungsoo almost scoffed, shaking his head.

“I don’t think so. I don’t know anybody here.”

“Neither do I,” Sehun raised his eyebrows, jerking his chin towards that big group of associates again. “But we know our boyfriends. We might as well join them.”

Kyungsoo took in a deep breath, eyes flashing towards Jongin and those old men he was talking to. He looked very serious and very concentrated on what those old men were saying.  

He shook his head slowly.

“I don’t think that’s a great idea, Sehun.”

“Why not?” 

Kyungsoo frowned when he looked towards the blond. It wasn’t something he could really put into words without sounding like an absolute fool. But Sehun was still waiting, a challenging look in his eyes. He looked even fiercer with blond hair. As if it hasn’t been enough before…

“I don’t know, it’s just-…Jongin is working. He is…you know. He is _Kim Jongin_ here. Editor-in-chief. And I’m just-“

“Do Kyungsoo.” Sehun said simply, taking a sip of his champagne. “You are Do Kyungsoo here. Not Jongin’s assistant. You’re Do Kyungsoo, Jongin’s boyfriend, who was personally invited by Zhang Yixing.”

Kyungsoo wanted to say something against that, but he really didn’t know what. He was at a loss for words here. Sehun _was_ right. 

“Come on.” 

He didn’t know how he found the will to actually move – maybe it was mostly because Sehun was almost pushing him forward – but he ended up walking across the large hall towards that group of associates and business partners of VOGUE. 

Kyungsoo felt too out of place when him and Sehun finally stopped at the outline of that circle. When one of those men gave them a weird look before stepping to the side and making room for them. 

Kyungsoo only now realized that among those old men and business partners, there were also some younger faces, besides Jongin and Junmyeon. Zhang Yixing was there, a dimpled smile blooming on his face when he saw Kyungsoo and Sehun appearing. And his assistant was right by his side – Luhan, with his bronze hair and big, doe eyes shooting from Sehun to the other side of that circle, where another man was standing. Tall, serious, with light hair. Wu Yifan. 

Kyungsoo threw a quick look towards Sehun to only find out that the younger wasn’t even looking at anybody else in the circle. He was only looking at Junmyeon and that dazed, little smile on his face when he raised a hand and urged him to walk closer to him. Sehun did. 

Kyungsoo started when he felt a hand on his waist. He looked up in surprise to see Jongin standing beside him, a little smile pulling his plump lips. He looked surprised, that Kyungsoo had decided to come here, but not in any way displeased. He looked happy and Kyungsoo almost sighed out in relief. 

“So, I’m assuming you must be Sehun,” the tall owner of the publishing house in China said and Kyungsoo blinked in surprise towards him. Jongin’s fingers just wrapped themselves tighter around Kyungsoo’s waist as he pulled him closer to his side. Wu Yifan just smiled at his friend from across that circle, a very cold smile and Kyungsoo couldn’t quite tell if it was just the man’s face or something more. “I’ve heard about you.”

“All good things, I hope,” Sehun said, voice cold and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but hold his breath as he watched his friend shooting a look towards the publisher. 

“Baekhyun has told me about you before and Junmyeon just couldn’t stop talking about you tonight. He’s very proud of you.” Wu Yifan turned towards Yixing. “And you said you’re featuring him in the next edition of the magazine?”

“That’s right,” Yixing agreed with a friendly, oblivious smile and a kind look in his eyes. “We are all very excited to work together.”

“Indeed.” Wu Yifan said, and then those piercing eyes were moved towards him and Kyungsoo almost cowered and hid behind Jongin. “And you are-…?”

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin replied as he was looking down at him with a smile, before raising his head and meeting the publisher’s eyes. “My boyfriend.”

That seemed to be news to most people in that circle of associates, because many of them seemed surprised. Yixing was no exception. There was almost something comical to the way his eyes widened at those two words, looking from Jongin to him, then back again. Eventually, that same kind smile spread on his face and Kyungsoo almost laughed.

Zhang Yixing, from the moment he had first seen him storming inside the office of VOGUE in Korea, had been a weird human being, full of nothing but kind smiles. Now was no different. He seemed genuinely happy to hear that. 

Kyungsoo almost cocked an eyebrow at Jongin. He’d have a lot of teasing information for later, judging by that one simple reaction. 

Zhang Yixing had never liked him. He had never flirted with him. Jongin had always just been so groundlessly jealous. 

But then again, if it hadn’t been for Zhang Yixing, then Jongin probably wouldn’t have started seeing him the way he did. If it hadn’t been for him, then they probably wouldn’t have gotten together. Who knew? 

“Then you might want to share the good news with him?” 

Kyungsoo blinked away from Yixing and towards Yifan again. Then towards Jongin, whose jaw was set, but lips were trembling in something akin to a smile. 

“What news?” Kyungsoo asked, unable to hold in his curiosity. Jongin held him to his side then, looking down to meet his eyes. 

“There have been….hm, discussions. About a book. An encyclopaedia, if you will, about different moments in the world of fashion, mostly centred around my influence on different designers and their works.” Jongin said slowly, in search of the right words. And then he raised his glass towards the publisher. “And Mr. Wu has decided that he is willing to support the publishing of said book.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes flashed towards the publisher, then back towards Jongin. 

He blinked once. Twice. Jongin was using roundabout words to express himself, and Kyungsoo understood that. He was in the presence of all his business associates and partners. He couldn’t just start blabbing like an excited child. 

Kyungsoo blinked again. A book. A book about Jongin. About his work in the fashion industry and about his influence on others. About his mark. 

He let out a breath, fingers clutching the end of Jongin’s blazer.

“That’s…. _that’s great_!” he blurted out, unable to control himself, as his eyes shot up towards Jongin’s face. He saw warmth and love spreading in those brown eyes he loved so much. A smile slowly started stretching Jongin’s lips, the more Kyungsoo tugged on his jacket. “Jongin, that’s amazing! Congratulations!”

Jongin stilled down then, and something about his smile froze for a fleeting second. He just looked at Kyungsoo, a thoughtful expression on his face, as he just peered down at him and for a moment, Kyungsoo felt like everybody around them had disappeared. He felt like it was just the two of them, in this wide, big hall, looking at one another and seeing nothing else. 

And then Jongin was leaning forward, pressing their lips together without a single care in the world. Without caring that his partners were around them, without caring that everybody was looking.

It was a kiss on Kyungsoo’s lips, soft and lasting, filled with emotions. Locking their lips in celebration. Kyungsoo had to fight hard with himself to keep his hands under check. To stop them from grabbing Jongin’s neck and pulling him even closer, demanding more than just a simple kiss.

But he knew where they are, and he knew he couldn’t do that. Instead, he let Jongin pull back first with a very happy smile on his face. 

Everybody else had ceased to exist now, Kyungsoo completely disregarding them, as he felt excitement for Jongin pumping through his veins. It was obvious how happy he was, how pleased he was with this. He was everything he could see now. 

But eventually Wu Yifan excused himself, followed by some more associates. Eventually, Kyungsoo looked around the people again, eyes stopping for a brief moment on Yixing’s assistant and the way his eyes were full of something Kyungsoo couldn’t quite pinpoint. Something rather blank and disappointed, as his fingers were tightening around that pad with tasks he was holding. His knuckles were turning white and Kyungsoo just followed his gaze to where Sehun was standing next to him.

Kyungsoo leaned down closer. Close enough so that only Sehun would hear him. 

“You okay?”

Sehun just gave him a look. He seemed relaxed. He seemed content. 

Instead, Kyungsoo’s eyes followed the younger’s movement. The way he reached out to hold Junmyeon’s hand, the way their fingers fit against one another perfectly. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

The smile that pulled Sehun’s lips was truly happy, and Kyungsoo nodded. He felt fluttering in his chest, glad that Sehun was fine. That he was over everything. That he was now truly himself. 

Kyungsoo just leaned back into Jongin then. 

Everything was perfect. 

* * *

Kyungsoo was especially tired that evening. They had just landed back from China a few hours ago, and he had gotten home just to unpack his luggage and take a shower. He was hungry and he was tired.

He pulled out a pack of instant ramen, no strength for anything else. He could already imagine his beautiful Sunday night evening. Eating instant ramen while absentmindedly watching Netflix until he fell asleep. It sounded nice. 

And then he’d have to wake up at 6 and head to work. 

He breathed in deeply, pouring the boiling water over the noodles, and then covering the bowl with a plate. Now all he had to do was wait. 

He was about to head to his room and browse some shows, pick what to watch, but froze in his place at the abrupt knocking on his door. 

“What the- “ 

Even his thoughts were interrupted, by another series of impatient knocks. He threw a look towards the clock. It was a little before ten. 

He sighed out. Maybe it was Jongdae. Or maybe it was that stoner neighbour of his who always kept asking him for sugar. Kyungsoo didn’t mind that guy. In fact, he had gotten an extra pack of sugar just because of him, but he wondered why he would want that in the evening. Maybe he was baking something. Kyungsoo didn’t really care. 

He breathed out a sigh as he walked towards the door quickly, swinging it open. 

“ _Oh_.”

Jongin was standing in front of him.

He was wearing a simple white shirt, and he was wearing sweatpants. His fingers were fumbling with his car keys. He looked so simple, and his hair was messy, just like it would have looked after a shower, fluffy. 

But it was not seeing him there that made Kyungsoo freeze in his spot. It was his expression. 

He looked positively restless.

“What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo asked, opening the door wider and letting Jongin enter his small apartment. He just looked at him after closing the door, at his weirdly nervous pacing around the living room. “Jongin?”

“I need to tell you something.” The other man said as he finally stopped in one place, eyes finally looking directly at his and Kyungsoo felt his eyebrows knitting together. 

“Alright?” he said, moving closer towards his boyfriend. “What is it?”

“I keep…I keep thinking about yesterday. During the fundraiser, when I told you about that book. The first thing…the first thing you did was to support me. To congratulate me.” Jongin looked down, hair falling over his eyes, as he kept fumbling with his keys. “Without a second thought, you supported me. Right away.”

“Of course,” Kyungsoo breathed out, reaching out to hold Jongin. Jongin, however, looked up before he could embrace him, and caught his hands. He held onto them tightly, and he looked at him in the eyes. 

There was regret filling his eyes. Remorse. Shame, even. 

“Kyungsoo, _I’m so sorry_.” Jongin uttered, and Kyungsoo didn’t think he’d ever heard him sounding as sincere as he did now. He breathed in deeply, looking down to their arms, connected. At Jongin holding on to him tightly. “That’s what I should have done too. I should have done that for you the moment I found out about the job offer from Wendy.”

Kyungsoo tilted his head a little, biting on his lower lip. He didn’t know what to feel, as he looked at Jongin and all that honesty written out on his face. All that genuine regret. 

“It was not right of me to lash out. It was the stupidest and most selfish thing I’ve ever done. And I’ve been thinking about it for weeks and weeks, ever since I found out. And I’m just so sorry. I really am.”

Jongin looked almost broken, and Kyungsoo released that breath that he had been holding. He gripped Jongin’s hand tighter, pulling them closer to his face and placing a little kiss on his knuckles.

“I know.”

Jongin untangled their fingers then, and moved his hand to Kyungsoo’s face instead. Cupping his cheek and letting him lean into the touch. Just caressing him gently. He spoke when their eyes met again.

“You should take that job, if it is what you really want. If you do, I will completely understand and support you. No more selfishness. I promise.” 

Kyungsoo smiled a little, raising a hand to put over Jongin’s, as he leaned into his palm again, letting that warm touch send shivers down his spine. Letting that beautiful and sincere look in Jongin’s eyes send warmth to the very core of his being. 

He shot his eyes up then, raising an eyebrow.

“You drove all the way here just to tell me that?” 

“No.” 

Kyungsoo straightened then, raising his hand from Jongin’s palm to give the other man a curious look. He had not been expecting that answer. Instead, he watched as Jongin’s hands found their way to the sides of his neck, holding on to him, thumbs sliding down his face. He looked earnest.

“I came here to tell you something else. Something that’s long overdue.” Jongin said, taking in a deep breath. “I will really support you in anything at any time if it means you are happy. Because that’s what matters the most to me.”

Kyungsoo felt that warmth inside him spreading to every nerve ending of his body. Jongin’s hands gripped his shoulders a little tighter. His eyes were shining.

“Because I love you.”

He didn’t know what it was that he felt exactly, but it was like a tidal wave crashing inside his body, unleashing emotions he had never felt before. It made him speechless, as he just stared at Jongin and that almost afraid look in his eyes. 

He let out a shaky breath when Jongin slid his hands down his arms, until he grabbed his palms again. Until he held his hands tightly, raising them between their chests. 

“Come to Arles with me,” Jongin said, voice breathy in a plead. “As my assistant, or as my boyfriend. It doesn’t matter. Come to Arles with me.”

Kyungsoo still felt shocked, he was still trying to register what had happened in the past minute. It was hard for him to breathe. It was hard for him to move.

He barely managed to blink quickly, nodding. 

“I will. I will go with you,” Kyungsoo barely said, his voice sounding muffled even though he was trying his best to speak properly. It felt like a lump was growing in his throat from all those emotions that were gathering in his chest. His body was not big enough to handle all that. Before Jongin could lean down with his dazed smile and kiss him, however, Kyungsoo’s hand around the other’s tightened lightly. “Jongin, I-…I need to tell you something too.”

Jongin stilled down in front of him and looked at him with his chocolate brown eyes and Kyungsoo felt his heart leaping in his chest. He felt all those emotions gathering in one spot, threatening to explode. He took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, as he held on to Jongin’s hands for dear life. 

“I declined,” it came out as a whisper, and Kyungsoo tried his best to breathe. He looked up to Jongin, those eyes that were staring at his steadily widening in realization. “I already declined the job offer.”

“What?” Jongin’s questions was just as quiet of a whisper as his own speaking, a hushed, breathy sound of bewilderment and shock leaving his lips as he furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head. Then his eyes became a little harder, a little resenting, a little scared. “Did you do it because of me?!”

Kyungsoo didn’t let go of Jongin’s hands. He just looked at him, at those beautiful eyes, and he breathed out the truth.

“Yes.”

“ _Oh, Kyungsoo_ ,” Jongin let out a ragged breath, eyes full of regret. Sorrow and guilt were tugging on his lips. And Kyungsoo realized what that broken glint was, what that resentment was – Jongin was blaming himself. His grip on his hands loosened a little and his breathing just became louder. Erratic almost. “ _Why_ did you do that? God, Kyungsoo…I’m so sorry. I’m sorry…oh my God.” 

Kyungsoo bit on the inside of his cheek, watching Jongin go through his breakdown. As he raised one of his hands to covers his mouth, then to rub on his eyes. He looked completely lost.

“I will call Wendy. I will ask her to-…I will…I will do everything in my power to get that back for you, Kyungsoo. God, I’m so stupid. I’m so sorry, I never meant to-“

“I didn’t decline because you’re my boyfriend or my boss,” Kyungsoo interrupted Jongin’s rants and he reached out to grab his hands again. And Jongin did still down again, then, throwing a look towards him. His chocolate eyes were a little reddened, and he looked so angry with himself. Kyungsoo just breathed in deeply, and he closed his eyes for a moment. He made sure to only open them when he knew his voice wouldn’t be shaking when he continued speaking. “I declined because I was not ready for it. Because I looked at you and I realized that I still had so much to learn. Because I looked at you, and I realized that you are everything that I want to be someday.”

Kyungsoo shrugged lightly, looking up to Jongin and the mask of shock spreading on his beautiful features. The mask of fondness and love. 

“I look up to you,” he said simply. “As a writer, as an editor. As a human, above all. I want to be like you.”

He didn’t even get a moment to take a breath, before Jongin’s lips came down crashing on his. His kiss was needy and desperate, like he needed that more than he needed anything else. Like he needed it more than air. 

His hands were holding on to Kyungsoo, keeping him close, not letting go and just kissing him until Kyungsoo’s eyelids eventually fluttered closed, eyes stinging with the happy tears that were threatening to escape. 

He just held on to Jongin, fingers fisting around the fabric of his white T-shirt and just yanking him forward until there was no space between their bodied. Until there was nothing but just the two of them, lost in the moment.

“I love you,” Jongin repeated, and he sounded choked when he spoke. He pressed a kiss to his lips again. “So much.”

“I know,” Kyungsoo breathed, looking up beneath his eyelashes towards Jongin. He knew now what all those emotions were. He knew now what all those tingling sensations he had felt before were. He knew now what he had felt for what seemed like an eternity. He just gripped Jongin’s shirt and pulled him even closer, until their foreheads were touching. Until he could feel Jongin’s breath on his lips. “I love you too.”

Jongin’s fingers slid behind his head then. He didn’t lean down to kiss him again, not right away.

Instead, he just held him close, pressing their foreheads together, and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but let out a choked laugh when he saw Jongin letting that smile take over his entire face. He was shining. More so than ever. 

“Do you want to stay over?” Kyungsoo asked quietly, running his hands down Jongin’s chest. “I have ramen.”

Jongin chuckled at that, a little laugh that made that warmth in Kyungsoo’s body spike all over again, and he nodded.

And when he leaned down to kiss him again, a slow and loving kiss, carrying all those unspoken words that had finally found their way out, Kyungsoo felt all the happiness in the world filling him up. 

Kyungsoo could feel Jongin smiling in the kiss and he just knew.

This was the right thing.

Here and now, this was everything he wanted.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well have we come a full circle or what? No more drama. 
> 
> I hope you guys liked that~ Please leave me some comments, I love reading what you guys think~ 
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time! xox
> 
> Talk to me on twitter @jongnugget ^^


	20. Chapter 18

18

 

Kyungsoo threw a look toward the clock on the wall, then to the opposite side of the office. To his old desk.

Empty. 

He tried to keep the sigh in as he simply turned his attention back to the desktop of the computer, closing yet another pdf. He had been reading the same thing for an hour now. Different articles and features from other magazines and newspapers, sent to them by PR for approval. Articles and features that made him want to just lock himself in his house and never leave again. 

His eyes were scanning the words, trying not to pay too much attention to the pictures accompanying them. He closed this pdf and opened the next one. He still had quite a long list of those to go through. 

“Is there a reason my tea isn’t here yet?” Jongin’s voice resounded clearly in the empty office and Kyungsoo straightened in his chair, eyes lazily moving from the screen to his boss who had appeared at the arched doorway separating the main office from the editor-in-chief’s one. There was a mildly annoyed look on his face, accompanying the irritation that was audible in his voice, as he looked towards that empty desk in the room. A frown tugged on his lips as he wove his hand absentmindedly towards it, brown eyes turning towards Kyungsoo. “Where’s the kid? Did he die or something?”

Kyungsoo didn’t want to wince, but he couldn’t really help it. He had warned Taeyong to hurry up. 

And now he was fucked. 

“It’s his first day,” Kyungsoo shrugged, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. “Cut him some slack.”

“You know that’s not what I do.”

Oh, Kyungsoo knew that, alright. He threw yet another look towards the empty desk of Jongin’s second assistant, before shaking his head lightly.

“Right,” he mumbled, before turning back to Jongin and his entire glorious self that was just casually leaning against the wall, staring at him. Not a hint from all that annoyance that had been present in his eyes just seconds ago. Kyungsoo’s breath almost hitched at the sight of those attentive eyes. He had to do his best not to get distracted by them. “I have a bunch of articles here for approval, mostly for tabloids.” 

Jongin just let out a humming sound, as he peeled himself off the wall and rounded the desk and stopped just behind Kyungsoo’s chair. 

He pursed his lips when Jongin leaned over his shoulder, his body suddenly invading his space, his scent surrounding him. He was suddenly so close, all Kyungsoo had to do was turn his head to the side to see Jongin’s concentrated side profile, as his boss’ eyes scanned the page he had open on the computer. When Jongin reached out, his fingers brushing against Kyungsoo’s when he covered his hand over the mouse and scrolled down, Kyungsoo just sighed out. 

Suddenly, those articles about him and Jongin being a couple, with all those pictures taken by paparazzi at Yixing’s charity event – they seemed insignificant. Simply a grey background to the golden beauty that was standing next to him. Everything seemed insignificant next to Jongin. 

He only remembered how to breathe when Jongin let out another quiet hum, a hum that was so close to his ear that Kyungsoo almost felt shivers running down his spine. He had to control his entire body to stop himself from turning around and just pulling Jongin closer. 

They were _at work_. 

He needed to control himself. 

And thank goodness, Jongin straightened up then, and Kyungsoo followed him with his eyes. There was a calculating look on Jongin’s face as he turned to look at him. 

He was silent for a few moments, before he shrugged his broad shoulders and leaned back to sit on the edge of Kyungsoo’s new desk. 

“You can approve them if you’re okay with them. I don’t mind.”

Kyungsoo blinked silently. His lips parted and he tried searching for the right words to form a coherent reply.

He ended up shaking his head and shutting his eyes for a moment, before throwing an inquiring glance towards his boyfriend. 

“You know, you’re surprisingly calm for someone whose career is always in the public eyes.” Kyungsoo scoffed, letting that tone of disbelief creep into his voice. “Won’t this affect you?”

“Not really, no.” Jongin just hummed, crossing his arms and just looking down towards Kyungsoo. He smirked a little, looking somewhat very pleased with himself. “I’m already a model, a designer, a muse, a writer _and_ the editor-in-chief of the biggest magazine in the world.”

Jongin just shrugged, an amused glint finally shining in his eyes. He suddenly looked like a playful child and Kyungsoo’s heart had trouble adjusting to that duality. 

“Gay just adds to the flare.”

“Unbelievable,” Kyungsoo breathed out, shaking his head. “So I should give PR the green light then?” 

“Only if you’re ready for it.”

Kyungsoo blinked in surprise when Jongin leaned down and kissed the side of his face, a quick kiss that landed somewhere just between his cheekbone and ear. A kiss that was just as supportive as the encouraging look in Jongin’s eyes, when he straightened up again, standing straight as he reached up to fix the collar of his shirt. 

The amused childish look was gone from his eyes when he started speaking again. 

“We need the Vera Wang dresses here by Friday. If they’re not here before that we will have to cut the feature, so get whoever is responsible for them to send them as soon as possible. Get the contacts for the celebrity feature from PR and let me know what our choices are. We already put a female idol on the last cover, see if we can work with a boy group this time. Call Minseok and ask him if he’s available to fly with us to Arles. Also, we have a fitting tonight at the Gucci store in Gangnam so meet me there at 6 pm sharp.”

Kyungsoo was in the middle of writing down the instructions, before his hand froze on its way to the paper. His eyebrows knitted together when he looked towards Jongin, who was too busy fixing the button of his sleeve.

“Sorry, _we?_ ”

Jongin blinked away from his button, eyebrows raised and lips puckered in a little concentrated pout. He seemed oblivious as to why Kyungsoo was surprised. 

“Yes, _we_.”

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo almost groaned, lowering the pen. “I thought we talked about this. _Stop_ buying me expensive clothes. I don’t need them.”

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin started, a lot of things mixing in his eyes – a pinch of amusement, a dash of incredulity, a shade of exasperation. All of them coming together to make his lips pull back in an endeared and dazed smile. “We’re not going to a shop opening or just some friendly event in China. We’re going to a _fashion cruise_. Trust me, you do need those. And so do I.”

Kyungsoo opened his mouth, ready to fight with arguments that sounded logical in his head. Jongin must have recognized the intent in his eyes, because he simply raised his eyebrow. 

“And if it changes anything, I’m not actually paying for them. There are _some_ perks to being Gucci’s ambassador.” Jongin said, face morphing into a serious mask again. If it wasn’t for that shine in his eyes, Kyungsoo would have actually thought that his boss was done fooling around. He breathed out a defeated sigh. He was pretty sure Jongin was lying to some extent, but the look his boyfriend gave him after made him just purse his lips and lean back in his chair in defeat. “6 pm sharp. I’ll see you there.”

Kyungsoo shrugged, the nod getting lost in his movements as he reached out to add yet another thing to his planner. 

He sensed Jongin moving away from the desk and back to his office. When he saw his tall figure stopping at the arched doorway with his periphery vision, he looked up from his notes, eyebrows raised.

“Tell the kid to come to my office once he gets back here. Seems like I’ll have to talk to him myself.”

Kyungsoo breathed in deeply, throwing a compassionate look towards the empty desk of Taeyong, then towards the door. There was still no sign of the younger boy who was supposed to bring back the coffees of the editors and Jongin’s tea. 

He smirked, looking back towards Jongin.

“You weren’t exactly nice this morning. Maybe he ran away.”

Jongin threw a quick glance towards the clock. He looked towards Kyungsoo and raised his eyebrows, and he couldn’t quite determine if the smile on his lips was playful or actually ominous. 

“If he’s not back in the next five minutes, he’ll wish he had ran away.”

Kyungsoo just watched as Jongin disappeared in his office, and then he threw one last look towards the door. This time, he couldn’t help the wince and the low whistle that involuntarily escaped his lips. Taeyong really was fucked. Poor kid. 

But if he had survived it all, then he supposed others would too. And that boy seemed smart enough to know how to carry a tray with coffee cups on it. Kyungsoo was rooting for him. 

He had greater worries than that right now, however. He looked back to his desktop, those pictures of him and Jongin accompanied by the articles filling his vision and mind again. 

He scrolled absentmindedly though them, a little smile slowly spreading on his lips as Jongin’s voice echoed in his mind. 

_ I don’t mind _ , he’d said. _If you’re ready_. 

And Kyungsoo just looked down to his wrist, to the watch that was becoming like a part of him. His eyes then flashed to the room where he knew Jongin was sitting with his tousled hair and his serious face, focused on his work, with his beautiful lips parted in concentration. And then tonight, after that stupid fitting, all of it would be his. The hair to run his fingers through, the face to touch gently, the lips to kiss hungrily. All of it. 

He closed all those articles and opened his email instead. Writing a new message and quickly sending it over to PR. Giving them the approval they needed, the green light they were waiting for.

He was ready. 

* * *

Kyungsoo was especially giddy as they were standing out there and simply waiting in line. He had all sorts of pamphlets in his hands and maybe a maniacal grin in his eyes as he kept looking around. They only had one day in Paris before travelling to Arles in the morning, and he was planning on making the most of it.

Jongin, naturally, had decided it would be the best opportunity to spend some time together. So of course, he had decided to join Kyungsoo in his city tour. 

The only difference was that it was Kyungsoo’s first time in Paris. And for Jongin, it was probably the fiftieth. He definitely did not seem as exhilarated by every single thing as Kyungsoo did. 

“Honestly, the south is prettier,” Jongin was mumbling under his breath, arms crossed, securely holding on to his Gucci bag. He was looking around with a pout, obviously very displeased by the fact that he actually had to wait, like a normal mundane, in order to get into the Louvre. “And why do we have to just stand here and wait? Can’t we go somewhere else until the line clears out? I’m hungry.”

“Stop being such a Grinch,” Kyungsoo scolded absentmindedly. “It’s a beautiful day, we’re spending time together and we just had lunch like half an hour ago.”

Jongin just frowned a little, a pout forming on his lips as he looked at the line ahead of them. 

Kyungsoo couldn’t help the little smile that spread on his face. It was kind of unbelievable how Jongin was standing out so much. Among the masses of tourists, he looked like a polished mannequin straight out of a shop’s window. What was even more unbelievable was how he could look so hot and intimidating, while acting like a complete baby. 

“I didn’t ask you to come, you decided to tag along yourself,” Kyungsoo shrugged, looking back down to his pamphlets to check the current exhibitions. “You can leave and we’ll just meet at the hotel tonight.”

“I’m not leaving,” Jongin scoffed almost immediately. “I came because I wanted to be with you.”

“Then suck it up,” Kyungsoo smiled at him, unceremoniously handing him one of the pamphlets. 

Jongin took it from his hand with a defeated sigh. Kyungsoo just smiled behind his pamphlets, looking at his boyfriend scanning the page.

Sharp brown eyes were suddenly piercing him and Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows.

“Just so you know,” Jongin started, eyes relaxed and a little smile tugging on his lips. Kyungsoo knew that joking look. “I’d very much rather be in a Givenchy or Louis Vuitton store on Champs-Elysées. With an air conditioner and people who don’t push me from all sides.”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, hooking a hand under Jongin’s elbow and leaning on him.

“How does it feel to be normal?” he flashed Jongin a smile, only to see the other’s nose scrunching a little. 

“Won’t recommend.” The editor shifted so Kyungsoo would get even closer, comfortably leaning against him in the long line. “You’re the only thing that’s making this entire waiting-under-the-scorching-sun thing bearable.”

“Great,” Kyungsoo said. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Kyungsoo smiled as he rested his head against Jongin’s shoulder, unable to stop that stupid smile from dancing on his lips. 

He had never thought that he would be in Paris, with the man of his dreams holding his hand and making him smile, playfully bickering like an old married couple. 

Life was just unreal sometimes. Full of surprises.

Full of Jongin. 

Kyungsoo just grinned, pressing himself harder against his boyfriend’s arm for a moment.

“Come on,” he said, dragging him forward as the line moved just the tiniest bit. “I can’t wait to see it from the inside.” 

“Yeah. Maybe you will before our flights back to Seoul on Friday.”

Kyungsoo just yanked Jongin’s arm because of his ever-sarcastic remarks. 

Jongin whined.

Kyungsoo grinned. 

* * *

Kyungsoo leaned against the side of the massive door leading out to the balcony of their hotel room. He’d seen this view in the morning when they arrived, sure. It was marvellous. But now, in the dark night, it was simply breath-taking. He had no words to describe just how beautiful it was.

He was not even surprised that Jongin would provide something like this for them. That he would make sure they were staying at a glorious hotel with too many stars, in a suite with a balcony in the bedroom that revealed the most gorgeous view that he could not look away from. The Eiffel Tower was lit up, its lights shimmering in the night and making everything seem more elegant, more eerie.

The evening air felt cold on his skin, droplets of water still falling from his hair and into the fluffy white robe he was wearing after his quick shower. 

Kyungsoo just shook his head a little in disbelief, eyes taking in the view again. Paris was shining below him and it was entrancing. 

His breath got caught in his throat when the wind messed up his hair and he felt a body pressing against his back. His lips moved on their own as he smiled in content when soft lips pressed a gentle kiss to the side of his face.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Kyungsoo bit on his lower lip to stop the smile from spreading even more when he felt Jongin’s breath against his skin. A hand appeared in his periphery vision, a hand holding a glass filled with liquid rubies. Kyungsoo just lowered his head a little, taking the wine from Jongin’s hand. 

“It’s amazing.”                       

Kyungsoo smiled again when Jongin wrapped his now free hand around his waist, pulling him closer to himself and resting his chin on his shoulder. 

“Thank you for today,” Kyungsoo said quietly, leaning his head towards Jongin’s and putting a hand over the other man’s where he was holding him by his hips. “I had a lot of fun.”

He really did. Jongin, despite his whining, had been ready to follow him to every single place that he wanted to visit. Jongin had told him interesting facts about those places, and he had taken pictures of him. They’d taken pictures together. And they had walked so much, hand in hand, that it felt almost weird not to be entwining their fingers now again. 

“Of course,” Jongin’s reply was soft and Kyungsoo just smiled, turning in his embrace.

He had to look up when Jongin pressed them closer together. He was also wearing one of those white robes from the hotel, his golden chest peeking from beneath the fabric. Kyungsoo’s eyes slid down the expanse of exposed skin, then flashed back up to Jongin’s plump lips, his gorgeous eyes and damn hair. 

His eyes then flashed to the wine he was holding and he raised his hand just the tiniest bit, meeting Jongin’s beautiful and warm eyes. 

“To us?” 

“To us.”

The clink of the glasses kept resounding in Kyungsoo’s ears even when the sweet taste of the wine spread in his mouth and made him breathe out in delight. 

Not because that was some delicious wine, undoubtedly from an old bottle that had been kept safe for years. Not because of the beautiful view and the sparkling lights of the night.

Because Jongin was right in front of him, holding him tightly. Because his own fingers were resting on Jongin’s chest, fingers barely touching his skin. Because Jongin’s face was so close to his that he could feel his breath on his skin. 

Kyungsoo felt like he was falling in love all over again. 

Because they were together and this day had been so amazing, a day for just the two of them. No interruptions, no work, no obstacles. Just him and Jongin. 

“This is perfect,” Jongin mumbled, setting his wine glass aside and wrapping a second hand around Kyungsoo’s waist. Kyungsoo decided to follow his example. As delicious as this wine was, he was pretty sure Jongin’s lips were sweeter than that.

He left the wine glass on the little table and reached up to connect his hands behind Jongin’s neck, fingers digging into the other’s damp hair. 

“I mean, we _are_ in France,” Kyungsoo hummed, inching closer. “The most romantic place on earth.”

Jongin responded to his lips ghosting over his by leaning down to press them together in a kiss. Their lips locked together in a languid and soft kiss, nothing rushed. Just their bodies responding to one another slowly, under the shimmering lights of the city. 

“Any place is romantic when I’m with you.” 

Jongin whispered that into his lips when they parted for a moment. Kyungsoo felt his heart skipping a beat and his fingers curling around Jongin’s robe. 

He tiptoed to crash their lips together again, catching Jongin by surprise. 

He was hungry for this. He wanted more of it. More of Jongin. 

He had had him all to himself for the entire day and he had seen just how amazing that was. And he was getting greedy. He wanted _all_ of Jongin. 

Lips were insisting and fingers were roaming.

“Wait,” Jongin said, voice breathy and hoarse. Kyungsoo looked up to see those brown eyes becoming darker. Becoming needier. “We’re travelling to Arles tomorrow morning. We should get some sleep.”

“There’s something else I’d rather get.”

“Aren’t you tired?” Jongin asked, musing quietly. “We spent the entire day outside.” 

Kyungsoo just raised his eyebrows, giving his boyfriend a look.

“What’s this? Are you trying to _tuck_ me in bed?”

Jongin scoffed at that, fingers tightening around his hips and pulling him closer, their bodies clashing together.

“Just courtesy, love,” Jongin spoke, and his voice was hoarse and needy. His gaze – predatory. “I’d very much rather _fuck_ you in bed.”

Kyungsoo let out a quiet giggle when Jongin leaned down and picked him up in his strong arms, his legs wrapping around the other man’s hips as he held on to his shoulders. His giggles got swallowed by Jongin’s mouth when he kissed him again. No traces of hesitancy. Just raw and pure want. 

His heart was beating loudly when they stumbled back into the bedroom, the curtains behind them dancing in the wind. 

* * *

It had been a very long day. Jongin had gotten ready early in the morning, getting in his outfit, piece by piece, his makeup artist and hair stylists following him around all day long. Minseok was shouting out commends to people from his team to adjust the lights and reflectors as he took picture after picture. 

Jongin wasn’t just attending the cruise in the evening. He was a public figure. He was _the_ public figure. 

He had work to do.

So from early in the morning, the moment they arrived in Arles, Jongin had been transformed into that gorgeous vision that was now standing in front of him, the beauty of his face only further enhanced by subtle makeup, the clothes fitting his figure perfectly as he went through his photoshoot seemingly effortlessly. 

Kyungsoo could just stand behind the cameras and smile proudly at the scene in front of himself.

That man. That god of a man, he was his. He was his boyfriend.

He was trying to wrap his head around it, trying to figure out how life had worked out like that for him, for both of them really, but he just couldn’t. 

All he knew was that he was the luckiest brat on the face of this earth because he got to call Kim Jongin his. Nobody else had such privilege.  

But the photoshoot eventually came to an end and Jongin’s stylists scattered for now. Later, they’d come and touch up on his makeup and hair before they left for the show.

Minseok left too. A big, deep yawn on his lips as he excused himself. 

And that left just the two of them in the large room of the hotel. The two of them and not that much time until the show tonight. 

It had started with Jongin’s urge to start getting ready. 

It had ended with Kyungsoo’s self-conscious lip bite and knitted eyebrows. 

“Why do you get to wear so many layers and I’m stuck with the see-through shit?!” 

It was ultimately unfair.

Jongin was wearing red plaid trousers and a matching blazer. Underneath that he was wearing a sky-blue shirt and a wine-coloured sweater that looked almost like a tunic with how low it was reaching his thighs. 

Kyungsoo was almost too horrified when he looked back at the mirror and the stark difference between them and their outfits. While Jongin was all packed up, clothed from head to toe and looking sophisticated with his black shoes, Kyungsoo felt more and more naked the longer he stared at his reflection. 

He wasn’t really _naked_. 

He was wearing custom tailored high-waisted pants that were reaching way higher than his belly button, over his ribs almost. And that was good. He was okay with the pants. It was the shirt that would haunt him for ages and give him nightmares. 

It was a see-through monstrosity of black lace and ruffles, every inch of his chest and arms visible through the thin fabric.  The more he stared, the more he wondered why he’d agreed to this in the first place at that fitting in Seoul. He was regretting this so hard right now.

Jongin’s low hum dragged him out of his thoughts.

“Mmm, I like it,” Jongin said and Kyungsoo almost flinched when he felt two hands on his shoulders. Sliding down the fabric down his arms, eyes trained to catch every small detail observing him in the mirror. “Besides, Baekhyun did tell me you like see through stuff.”

Kyungsoo almost cursed out loud. 

Damn Byun Baekhyun and damn his stupid elephant memory. He got flashbacks to that one time he’d said he liked a black see through shirt better than that horrifying snakeskin sweater. And it had only been because he kept imagining Jongin wearing it. 

He had certainly never thought about himself wearing this kind of thing. 

“Don’t drag Baekhyun into this,” Kyungsoo frowned at himself in the mirror, arms almost unconsciously raising to his chest. “I look ridiculous.”

“You look _beautiful_.”

Kyungsoo met Jongin’s eyes in the mirror and there was nothing but sincerity in his gaze. Sincerity and concentration and Kyungsoo realized that Jongin was not lying. Not for things like this. He was not just saying this because he was his boyfriend.

Jongin was editor in chief of the biggest fashion magazine in the world.

He was saying that because he meant it.

“Come here,” Jongin said suddenly, catching his wrist gently and pulling him around. “Let me fix that for you.”

Kyungsoo momentarily forgot about how insecure he felt in an outfit as bold as this when Jongin sat down on the couch by the bed, pulling him closer between his legs. 

His eyes were concentrated on the hemline of his pants and his fingers were moving steadily with purpose as he started tucking in every centimetre of that sheer top carefully into the pants, creating perfectly flowing riffles from the fabric. 

More so than the sensation of that sheer fabric, Kyungsoo’s breath hitched at Jongin’s fingers brushing against his chest through the top, leaving warm traces on his skin. 

“Kyungsoo?” 

Kyungsoo hummed in acknowledgement as he threw yet another look towards the mirror, absentmindedly still doubting everything. He almost heaved a sigh.

“I want you to write the piece about this event.”

His eyes widened as he looked down to Jongin’s completely serious face as he kept fixing every damn millimetre of his top with hawk-eyed scrutiny. He was not smiling. He was not smirking or laughing. He was not looking at him.

He had a mask of seriousness on his face, the look of VOGUE’s editor-in-chief.

Jongin was not joking. 

“ _…what?_ ”

Jongin didn’t seem in the slightest bit affected, he seemed to be almost too oblivious to the breakdown that was wreaking havoc inside Kyungsoo’s body right now. He just let out a shattered breath, waiting for a response that came quickly, quietly, with measured and calm words. 

“I want you to write the feature about the cruise for the next issue of the magazine.”

Kyungsoo felt his heart skipping a beat and all breath leaving his chest at once. 

He didn’t mean for it to sound like a scoff. Or maybe he did, he was not sure.

All he knew was that those high-waisted pants were suddenly very tight around his body and it was getting harder to breathe. 

He raised a shaky hand to put on Jongin’s, stopping him from tucking in yet another part of the shirt in.

Jongin finally looked up to him then, eyes wide and patient. 

A thousand things were spinning in Kyungsoo’s mind, a thousand things that made it hard for him to speak, hard for him to even move. He just stared down at Jongin, everything starting to seem blurry as he tried to collect his thoughts. 

Eventually, he breathed out yet another shaky sigh, his hand pushing Jongin’s down.

“I’m not here for a pity promotion.” 

Jongin shook his head immediately, his eyebrows knitting together as he stood up from the little couch, stepping closer to Kyungsoo and closing that distance between them. 

“It’s not a pity promotion,” he said confidently, a hand raising up to catch Kyungsoo’s shoulder tightly. To gently slide down his arm reassuringly as he waited for Kyungsoo to finally meet his eyes.

To see all that sincerity pouring from them, all that honestly. 

Kim Jongin was powerful and he was scary. He always said what was on his mind. He always got what he wanted. But he was no liar. He had never been. There was nothing he had ever kept hidden and Kyungsoo just blinked at him and the truths he was speaking. 

“I read your works,” Jongin said, voice gentler as he raised his hand to cup Kyungsoo’s face. His thumbs slid over the skin of his cheeks, turning his face up so that he would have no choice but to look at him and him only. “They’re good, Kyungsoo. They’re really good.”

“My…my works?!” Kyungsoo asked, another breath leaving him as he shook his head in confusion, hand flying up to catch Jongin’s. “When the hell did you read those? _How_ did you get them?”

“Wendy gave them to me.” 

Kyungsoo pursed his lips, a lump forming in his throat. A lump that was a mixture of all those different emotions he was feeling.

He didn’t know if he was pissed, or if he was happy. Angry that he was being put in a situation like this, or glad that Jongin thought his writing was good. Not Jongin his boyfriend. Jongin, the editor. 

He breathed in deeply, trying to keep his voice levelled. 

“She had no right.”

“She had no choice,” Jongin corrected, taking his hands within his palms and pressing them against his chest. “It was that or her job.”

“You are a horrible human being.” 

“Horrible? No,” Jongin smirked, leaning down to press their foreheads together briefly. “Selfish? Definitely.”

Kyungsoo shut his eyes closed tightly then and he stumbled in his own place when Jongin stepped back and let go of his hands to reach the desk with all those lined accessories. 

He tried to regulate his breathing, he tried to make sure he was thinking clearly before he opened his eyes. Before he’d say something stupid again.

He just turned to look at Jongin’s broad shoulders as he leaned over those countless rings and bracelets and necklaces that the stylists had brought. 

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo started cautiously. “When I said I wasn’t ready for the job, I didn’t only mean Marie Claire. I meant VOGUE as well.”

Jongin took his time looking around the accessories, sharp eyes scanning everything on the table before he finally picked out a few pieces and turned around. Kyungsoo pursed his lips worriedly when his boyfriend walked back towards him, a hand reaching out to gently grab his and raise it up so he would slide the first ring down his finger.

“I am well aware,” Jongin said, carefully adjusting the ring while his fingers played with Kyungsoo. He pulled the second one and started sliding it down another finger on Kyungsoo’s shaking hand. “I’m not giving you the job. Not yet, anyways.”

Another ring on yet another finger. Another storm in Kyungsoo’s heart as he blinked up at Jongin. 

“Think of this as an interview. As a test, if you will,” Jongin said, wrapping his hands around Kyungsoo’s fingers and finally looking him in the eye. He raised his eyebrows just the tiniest bit. “I want to see what you can do with it. I want to see how you will put all this into words. _Your_ words.”

The little relief Kyungsoo felt for the blink of a second there got replaced by a ripple of strong emotions surfacing in his chest. 

Sudden realization that this was more than just another opportunity. 

He returned to reality when he felt soft fingers supping his face again, when chocolate brown eyes were everything he could see. 

“I will personally edit it,” Jongin said quietly, a solemn promise. “I _will_ help you.”

Jongin’s eyebrows were raised lightly in a question and Kyungsoo’s entire world was spinning as he realized that the editor was waiting for an answer. A decision. 

He reached up, fingers grabbing Jongin’s hands and holding on to them tightly. No intent of letting go.

Sudden realization that this was so much more than any opportunity.

It was Jongin showing interest in his work. Jongin willing to support it. 

It was Jongin believing in him. 

The first nod was hard. The hardest thing Kyungsoo had ever had to do.

But it was the simple motion that unleashed everything that followed. The other nods, the little hesitant smile slowly blooming on his lips, his fingers shakily gripping onto Jongin’s blazer to hold him close. 

“Alright,” he whispered, not trusting his voice. “I’ll do it.”

Jongin seemed many things for the blink of a moment – happy, pleased, relieved. But above all, he seemed proud. 

Proud, when he slid his fingers down the soft fabric of Kyungsoo’s sheer shirt and held on to his waist.

Proud, when he pulled him closer.

Proud, when he kissed him, the smiles stretching their lips getting in the way of the kiss. 

“Wait,” Jongin broke the kiss abruptly, a shine in his eyes as he pulled Kyungsoo forward towards the desk with all those accessories. His eyes scanned the surface quickly, before he grabbed the one thing he must have had in mind. “Let’s try this.” 

Kyungsoo barely saw a flash of something black before Jongin’s hands were reaching up above his head. He felt him carefully arranging the accessory on his hair, fingers gentle and soft. 

He was too busy looking at his face, shifting from concentration to something else. Something more mundane, something more human.

Something like awe. Something like love. 

“You look beautiful,” Jongin repeated. “You look _dangerous_.”

Jongin’s fingers slid down his hair and reached his shoulders. His palms spread on Kyungsoo’s chest, as if trying to catch the heartbeat under his fingertips. As if trying to hear how it was beating just for him. 

When their gazes met again, Kyungsoo saw a glint in the depths of Jongin’s eyes. He saw the dazed smile before it had even reached Jongin’s lips. 

“Would you look at that,” Jongin said quietly, eyes sliding down to inspect Kyungsoo and his handiwork. He sounded like he was drowning, a certain haze to his voice. He slowly looked back up again, that same glint shining even brighter in his eyes. “The devil wears Gucci.”

Kyungsoo smiled a little, looking down to his hands. Those stupid hands. Why were they so uselessly standing by his sides when they could be holding everything that was his.

He reached up to hold Jongin’s hands before he turned around in his hold, facing the cold, unforgiving mirror.

The same mirror he had been looking only minutes ago, hating everything his eyes saw. 

But now he saw everything differently.

He saw a young man staring back at him with his wide eyes. And there was no doubt in those eyes.

Just content. The man who was staring back at him was happy. He had everything in the world. The world was his. 

He looked, for once, powerful. He looked like he had everything figured out. 

He looked, for all the world, complete. 

But it wasn’t the sheer lace, the black high waited trousers, the slightly heeled shoes or those heavy rings on his fingers. Not even the little black crown of twisted metal roses that was so snugly resting on his head. It wasn’t those things that completed him.

It was the man standing behind him with his poise and elegance. With his supportive and loving smile. 

Jongin, who’d always have his back. Jongin, who had entered his life like a storm. Like a hurricane, destructive and dangerous. 

A hurricane that had turned everything around. A storm that had washed away the old him. 

Because after every storm there was something new. The soft glow of the sun’s rising light. 

And that light, it was Jongin’s smile. It was Jongin’s heart. 

And just like the first rays of the sunrise, it was soft and gentle. It was golden.

“Thank you,” he uttered quietly, fingers tightening around Jongin’s hands. The words made his entire body shake. Tremors rising from inside him. “For everything.”

Not just for tonight. Not just for the outfit, not just for the pretty clothes. Not just for the opportunity to do what he really wanted to do.  No.

For everything. 

For helping him see that man in the mirror. For helping him find the best part of himself.

Jongin just tightened his arms around Kyungsoo’s shoulders, holding him closely and tightly. 

His smile was little and knowing when their gazes connected through the mirror, and his eyes were shining with all the love in the world. 

* * *

_ It’s all about confidence _ , Baekhyun had once told him. _It’s about how you perceive yourself above all_. 

Kyungsoo had never fully known what Baekhyun had meant back then.

But not tonight. Tonight those words kept ringing in his head loud and clear. 

He had to thank Baekhyun someday. Because he finally understood. 

Tonight, he was confident. Tonight, the entire world was his. 

Tonight, he was standing in front of all those cameras with his head held up high.

Tonight, he was not afraid to face them. He was not afraid to be bold. 

It really was all about confidence. Because the him from just one year ago would have never thought that he’d be here now. The him from one year ago would have laughed. 

But here he was. 

He was at a fashion cruise in freaking France, with Jongin by his side holding on to him tightly and not letting go. He was with the man he loved doing something he had never thought he’d really be doing. 

He was wearing motherfucking Gucci and he _loved_ it. 

He loved it so much.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta be honest, I had a really hard time writing this chapter. Everything kept sounding wrong, and even worse the more I wrote. It was just very difficult for me to figure out how to end this story. Incredibly difficult to choose how to end something that so many people were looking forward to. 
> 
> But I figured, in the end, this was it. Kyungsoo finally coming a full circle. Finally realizing who he is and who he wants to be. I sincerely hope I was able to portray that in this chapter. I started writing this story BECAUSE of the Gucci cruise in Arles. Ending it with that seemed fitting. 
> 
> Even though there is still an epilogue coming up, I'd say this is to be considered the final chapter of the story. That's why I would be really grateful if you guys would let me know what you thought of this fiction. It would really mean the world to me ^^
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you so much for reading~ 
> 
> Until next time xox
> 
> twitter: jongnugget


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